Nicole Richie Archives - Page 4 of 5 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

24

Sep

I am – Nicole Richie’s Pregnant Bikini of the Day

These have been out for a while. I saw them over the weekend. I thought that it was nice to see her taking a vacation from her life that is a vacation. I am not one to really talk. I may not have any money but I don’t have to get up to look at some asshole boss in the face everyday….and sometimes that’s more important than having money.

Either way, I like pregnant girls because girls generally won’t ever let me get them pregnant. That means I have never had sex with one, or had to deal with all their raging pregnancy emotions and hormonal imbalances. I am the kind of guy who girls end up banging out of confusion or depression and as their lives go on they realize that I am not worthy of dropping my seed in their womb. Even my wife told me that there was no way she would ever have my babies when we first hooked up and I thought it was the right thing to do since I was married and hated her.

Reality is that kids are kinda cool and would have distracted me from things I hated, until realizing that they were damn expensive to keep around and then I’d resent them for having to get a job that would make me face a boss everyday just to pay for their stupid designer clothes….So reality is that I may not have a legacy or a little fucker to pass all my wisdom onto, but at least I don’t have to work…

Point of all this is to say I could go off about how bitch looks like a rat-faced rodent of some sort and that she’s probably pregnant with 10 little babies in this litter, or I could go on to talk about how she’s so anorexic and now she’s not pregnant she just has a distended ethiopian stomach (it’s her heritage), I could go onto how the baby isn’t really a baby, it’s just where Good Charlotte hides their make-up and gay porn because they are fags and they don’t want that getting out…I could talk about how dumpy her ass is or how her milk filled tits are really luxurious but I am not going to do that because I would rather go out and get drunk. See ya.

Related Posts:

Nicole Richie Leaves Town of the Day
Nicole Richie’s Pregnant Titties
Nicole Richie’s See Through Maternity Slutwear
Nicole Richie is Pregant!!!!

2007

21

Sep

I am – Nicole Richie Leaves Town of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures of a pregnant Nicole Richie leaving town with her lame as fuck baby daddy, provided the baby makes it out of the womb alive. I assume that she’s had so much dick in her that her small frame’s got some big vagina and I wouldn’t be surprised if the baby’s already fallen out and into the toilet when she’s taking a shit forcing her to push it all back in place and using hair elastics to lock it all into place….so that it has a semi-normal development.

Reality is that someone like Joel Madden doesn’t deserve to get a girl pregnant, even if it’s someone as useless to the world a Nicole Richie. He is the kind of guy who girls double up their birth control with, so that they don’t have to be stuck to him for life because even they know how fucking lame he is. I can only assume that this motherfucker sabotaged her pill and ripped his condom tip to make this shit happen, knowing very well that Nicole’s numerous botched abortions from her past made getting another one impossible.

Speaking of Nicole Richie’s Vagina…DJ AM has been ignoring my emails for the last 2 years, so I sent him this one:

why you gotta ignore me…
don’t be so fucking sensitive
it breaks my heart to think i’ve hurt your feelings
or annoyed you…
i heard you hate me…
i don’t get why…
it’s totally unecessary
I feel like were’ in elementary school
and I’ve been stealing your lunch money for a month or some shit and your mom just called the school to complain..

lighten the fuck up

love

jesus

He finally responded for the first time in 2 years….

I dont hate you at all! I just think your corny and stalkerish… 🙂

So I wrote him asking him to play my stepFEST Tour, which doesn’t exist but it could…

would you play a DrunkenStepfather party for me?

And he wrote back :

no.. read your review.. Im “gay and suck and shouldn’t DJ” or something like that lol

That’s as close as I get to someone in LA who banged Nicole Richie and now I am sharing it with you. But the good news is that he’s been getting my emails all these years, he’s just been ignoring them….so it goes to show you that my constant harassing actually got through to him so my mom was right, hard work does pay off…too bad this gets me pretty much nothing…but that’s all I expect from myself….because I suck at life.

Related Posts:

Nicole Richie Pregnancy Tits
Nicole Richie’s Sheer Maternity Top
Nicole RIchie’s Pregnant Guy
The Reason DJ AM Thinks I am a Stalker – stepTV

2007

27

Aug

I am – Nicole Richie's Pregnant Tits and Gut of the Day

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Some dude called me a homo and a whiner today because I called him a cocksucker and I realize that I do whine and complain alot and I am okay with that. I emailed some big entertainment company asking them to advertise on my site, they were nice enough to respond to me and send me a rejection directly, usually my emails go unanswered and are just lost forever.

Since I knew the email was hitting his inbox, I took the opportunity to send him an email expressing my opinion. It may not be funny or interesting but I am posting it anyway….

Do you not want to work with me because there is some barely there nudity on my site? It is not a porn site, it is mainstream entertainment site that aims for readers that 21 and older. I figure that if you’re over 21 I sure as hell hope you’ve seen tits before, otherwise you should probably just jump or maybe go gay or something, because let’s face it being a virgin isn’t cool and never will be, no matter what the asexuals at your University are telling you. I think I saw my first set of tits when I was 11…..and I am not talking on my mother, I am talking on a real live girl and it only cost me $5.

Either way, I understand you have to protect your company and your crazy bible fucking audience, it’s just the way of America. It’s more outdated than any other country, but it’s playing things safe and I respect safe, it’s the reason I’ve never tried heroin. I guess the land of the free is really the land of the heavily conservative and scared to push boundaries and you spend your resources discussing whether a congressman is really a republican because in 1990 he was videotaped with supporting pro-choice when a real republican is pro-life….because I can only assume they’ve never knocked up a bitch they didn’t want to get married to because otherwise they’d know that killing a fetus is more exciting than being stuck with a fat whore you had a one night stand with when drunk….because a life of misery is a life not worth living….

If ever you change your mind and want to work with me, I am pretty cheap, at least that’s what my wife always says, but that’s only because I hate her and use her credit card to buy her Christmas gifts. Cuddles.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Speaking of Abortion, Here are some pics of Nicole Richie and her new tits and baby stomach. I am surprised she didn’t have an abortion and I am sure she’s had her fair share of them in the past…Let’s just hope her drug addiction and eating disorder doesn’t turn this kid into some kind of flipper baby….even if it’s the only way anyone can put up with her bullshit….

Related Posts:

Nicole Richie’s Sheer Maternity Top of the Day
Nicole Richie is Pregnant of the Day
Nicole Richie’s Hiking Ass

Posted in:Belly|Nicole Richie|Pregnant|Tits|Unsorted

2007

27

Aug

I am – Nicole Richie’s Pregnant Tits and Gut of the Day

2 Comments »

Some dude called me a homo and a whiner today because I called him a cocksucker and I realize that I do whine and complain alot and I am okay with that. I emailed some big entertainment company asking them to advertise on my site, they were nice enough to respond to me and send me a rejection directly, usually my emails go unanswered and are just lost forever.

Since I knew the email was hitting his inbox, I took the opportunity to send him an email expressing my opinion. It may not be funny or interesting but I am posting it anyway….

Do you not want to work with me because there is some barely there nudity on my site? It is not a porn site, it is mainstream entertainment site that aims for readers that 21 and older. I figure that if you’re over 21 I sure as hell hope you’ve seen tits before, otherwise you should probably just jump or maybe go gay or something, because let’s face it being a virgin isn’t cool and never will be, no matter what the asexuals at your University are telling you. I think I saw my first set of tits when I was 11…..and I am not talking on my mother, I am talking on a real live girl and it only cost me $5.

Either way, I understand you have to protect your company and your crazy bible fucking audience, it’s just the way of America. It’s more outdated than any other country, but it’s playing things safe and I respect safe, it’s the reason I’ve never tried heroin. I guess the land of the free is really the land of the heavily conservative and scared to push boundaries and you spend your resources discussing whether a congressman is really a republican because in 1990 he was videotaped with supporting pro-choice when a real republican is pro-life….because I can only assume they’ve never knocked up a bitch they didn’t want to get married to because otherwise they’d know that killing a fetus is more exciting than being stuck with a fat whore you had a one night stand with when drunk….because a life of misery is a life not worth living….

If ever you change your mind and want to work with me, I am pretty cheap, at least that’s what my wife always says, but that’s only because I hate her and use her credit card to buy her Christmas gifts. Cuddles.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Speaking of Abortion, Here are some pics of Nicole Richie and her new tits and baby stomach. I am surprised she didn’t have an abortion and I am sure she’s had her fair share of them in the past…Let’s just hope her drug addiction and eating disorder doesn’t turn this kid into some kind of flipper baby….even if it’s the only way anyone can put up with her bullshit….

Related Posts:

Nicole Richie’s Sheer Maternity Top of the Day
Nicole Richie is Pregnant of the Day
Nicole Richie’s Hiking Ass

Posted in:Belly|Nicole Richie|Pregnant|Tits|Unsorted

2007

14

Aug

I am – Nicole Richie's Sheer Maternity Top of the Day

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Here are some pictures of a pregnant Nicole Richie wearing a sheer to to show off her new gut and to remind how much of a slut she was to get in this situation in the first place….I have mixed emotions about pregnant chicks dressing like sluts.

I remember a time when being pregnant meant wearing these big housecoat style dresses that looked more like aprons you’d see the housekeeping crew at a shitty charge by the hour motel than what you’d want your wife to wear. Even thought when your wife is carrying your child you don’t always want her on all fours rockin’ thongs that make you nervous about your future babies life, unless of course you got manipulated into this whole mess by a crazy girl with a sewing needle and your box of condoms, but I doubt that because no one would want to be locked to you for life. But that’s not the point.

The point is that the housecoat maternity wear is definitely not the hottest thing for a woman to wear, even though the immigrant housekeeping staff at a charge by the hour motel usually offers full service, but it is a little more conservative and respectable and allows the world to know that the girl has given up on the party life and is ready to strap the fuck down and be serious.

I guess Nicole Richie, being a rich girl who never had to have any real level of responsibility and who was loose enough in the motherfucking hips, or at least loose enough to not use a condom with some scumbag from some shitty band that would have been better off if their tour bus accidentally drove off of bridge leaving dudes writing hand mangled and his voicebox ripped out…proves that old habits die hard and in about 10 years she’ll be showing her baby girl the best way to smoke heroin.

I am not even going to bother mentioning Mischa Barton in all this, because she’s out of work, not pregnant and not hot enough to bother with today.

Related Posts:

Nicole Richie May Be Pregnant of the Day
Nicole Richie is Pregnant of the Day
Nicole Richie Hiding Her Rat Face From The Camera
Nicole Richie Bikini Throwback

2007

14

Aug

I am – Nicole Richie’s Sheer Maternity Top of the Day

10 Comments »

Here are some pictures of a pregnant Nicole Richie wearing a sheer to to show off her new gut and to remind how much of a slut she was to get in this situation in the first place….I have mixed emotions about pregnant chicks dressing like sluts.

I remember a time when being pregnant meant wearing these big housecoat style dresses that looked more like aprons you’d see the housekeeping crew at a shitty charge by the hour motel than what you’d want your wife to wear. Even thought when your wife is carrying your child you don’t always want her on all fours rockin’ thongs that make you nervous about your future babies life, unless of course you got manipulated into this whole mess by a crazy girl with a sewing needle and your box of condoms, but I doubt that because no one would want to be locked to you for life. But that’s not the point.

The point is that the housecoat maternity wear is definitely not the hottest thing for a woman to wear, even though the immigrant housekeeping staff at a charge by the hour motel usually offers full service, but it is a little more conservative and respectable and allows the world to know that the girl has given up on the party life and is ready to strap the fuck down and be serious.

I guess Nicole Richie, being a rich girl who never had to have any real level of responsibility and who was loose enough in the motherfucking hips, or at least loose enough to not use a condom with some scumbag from some shitty band that would have been better off if their tour bus accidentally drove off of bridge leaving dudes writing hand mangled and his voicebox ripped out…proves that old habits die hard and in about 10 years she’ll be showing her baby girl the best way to smoke heroin.

I am not even going to bother mentioning Mischa Barton in all this, because she’s out of work, not pregnant and not hot enough to bother with today.

Related Posts:

Nicole Richie May Be Pregnant of the Day
Nicole Richie is Pregnant of the Day
Nicole Richie Hiding Her Rat Face From The Camera
Nicole Richie Bikini Throwback

2007

18

Jun

I am – Nicole Richie Is Pregnant of the Day

1 Comment »

I thought that Nicole Richie’s form of contraception was letting dudes cum in her because being an anorexic bitch who weighs less than 100 pounds means you can’t get knocked up. Too bad it didn’t work out for her because now this little rat faced slut is carrying motherfuckin’ Good Charlotte loser to the world’s spawn and that means we should hope she crashes that car she’s in or is too mal-nourished to bring the baby to term, to prevent polluting the world.

If she does somehow pull through on this pregnancy, that motherfucking thing may be born into money but is going to have to deal with having lame fucking parents that it will be forced to be ashamed of for the next 20 years of its life before becoming a drug addicted socialite like its mother was or maybe it will take it’s privileged life and find misery in it that can be turned into song leading to becoming a “successful musician” like its father, because as this Joel Madden asshole proves, you don’t need any musical talent to make it in the industry, you just need to dress like a clown from the suburbs and have a marketing team market you like some sort of hardcore artist with something important to say like “I Just Want to Live” that makes teenage girls go crazy so that they buy your shitty albums and cut out pictures of you from magazines to decorate their wall.

I think the reality behind this whole scandal is that bitch decided she wanted to start eating a again in her “detox” from drugs. This lead to a weight gain and instead of being called fat, bitch was like “If I go to the maternity clinic people will just assume I’ve got reason to rock this gunt”. Whether she’s pregnant or not she’s still a useless piece of shit and I doubt this baby ever sees the light of day. I guess the other real issue behind all this is why Nicole Richie lame Jewish dudes who are involved in music like stickin’ their dicks in her….I’ll think about that and get back to you on it.

Posted in:Nicole Richie|Pregnant|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

07

Jun

I am – Nicole Richie May be Pregnant of the Day

9 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Nicole Richie on her way to and on Letterman. The story is that she’s knocked up. She’s been to the doctor and it’s confirmed according to real celebrity gossip sites. So that means that Nicole and her fucking loser Good Charlotte boyfriend who I can’t stand because he’s a fucking cunt poser who has little to no talent haven’t admitted or denied the story. I guess her anorexics can’t get pregnant approach to contraception really worked out amazing for her and I hope this thing, if it’s really in there, doesn’t come to term because the last thing we need is for this cunt to be procreating, it’s probably already been “dealt” with, but even if it isn’t “dealt” with we could have a lot of good laughs at watching this bitch balloon on her 90 lbs frame. It’ll be like watching 12 year old dudes pretending they are pregnant in a school play and we’ll all get a laugh out of it.

That said, I was watching a show on college binge drinking at a friends house the other day and they said that binge drinking was considered 4 drinks in a 2 hour period 3 times a week. I thought that was nothing, I drink 4 drinks in half an hour, but I think that still falls into the binge drinking category. I was pretty happy to find out that I am not an alcoholic but a college binge drinker. I feel like telling the young college girls that on the street will lead to some girls gone wild flashing…

Posted in:Knocked Up|Legs|Nicole Richie|Unsorted

2007

05

Jun

I am – Nicole Richie Hiking to Stay Fit of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some Nicole Richie staying fit by Hiking in Hollywood in spandex, showing off her nasty non existent ass that I’d probably stick my dick in if I could get it up, but only because it would probably look pretty big for the first time in my life. It’s part of the reason why I used to only date girls with small hands, I thought that the contrast made me feel like more of a man but that’s not important.

What is important is that nothing screams I am a hippie lesbian who eats granola and doesn’t shave her box like a girl who hikes. They are the kind of bitches in Birkenstock sandals, cargo pants and oversized sweatshirts with some kind of University Name or Country flag embroidered across their thick lesbian chests. They rock no make-up and wear hats to cover their ratty, yet practical hair and on the back of their hiking bags they’ve got all kinds of water bottles and camping gear, I guess in case they come across some kind of hill, mountain or wooded area that needs to be conquered.

Here are those Nicole Richie Pics, I guess the shocking news is that the heat and activity didn’t kill her, sometimes when answering emails too quickly I get hot flashes and my heart starts going insane…maybe no eating is the key to healthy living….

Posted in:Ass|Exercise|Nicole Richie|Unsorted

2007

01

Jun

I am – Nicole Richie Still Has Nipples of the Day

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I hate Nicole Richie. Mainly because she’s a rude little whore who loves ripping into people but when people turn on her she becomes this hypersensitive twat. I am basing my Nicole Richie opinion on the one text messages she sent me where she called me a looser…reality is no matter how loose I am…I am sure I am not quite as loose as her anorexic dancing hips. Slut.

I heard that she was pregnant because she had a little pot belly action in some pics but I don’t think anorexic addicts can get pregnant, they actually lose their periods. I think she just hadn’t taken a shit that week, or maybe bitch went and got her monthly abortion, it is the best for of birth control in a place no one where condoms….

Point of the post is that she’s got some oversized glasses and some erect nipples to distract you from her rat face, more proof that the loss of 2 of her friends to the law has her made her a little more considerate to humanity. I wrote about this already. I never said I wasn’t repetitive.

Posted in:Candids|Legs|Nicole Richie|Nipples|Unsorted

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