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Archive for the Salma Hayek Category

2023

02

Sep

Mexico’s Pride and Joy Salma Hayek Brings the Old Tits Out to Get Jerked Off To of the Day

Salma Hayek, the Lebanese Mexican tits that were rich before they were sent to Hollywood to take on the “Hot Mexican” accent roles, before being married off to one of the richest families in the world, because the son was caught jerking off to old Hayek movies and the dad felt “I’ll buy her for you”, you know like rich people do.

She’s 57 years old, her birthday is today, and clearly she wants you perverts jerking off to her old used up tits that are rich and well rested so they don’t look as bad as the other 57 year old tits out there, however, I have been noticing a lot of older women when I do my downtown creeping, who have full round tits despite being old as shit, so maybe it’s all that birth control pill in the tap water keeping them more feminine…

Either way, Hayek, like all whores likes showing off the body and being jerked off to, so get to it…she posted these 30 mins ago, I am SO fucking fast at this blogging thing, no wonder I’ve revolutionized the format back in 2004 and have managed to stay in the shadows while others excelled at it….

Her caption to her bikini big titty old lady smut is:

I’m so happy to be alive and so profoundly grateful for all the blessings!!!! ?My beloved family, my precious friends, my health, my work that keeps me going, my empowering team, my relationship with animals & nature, and the love of all my loyal fans. Happy 57th birthday to me!!!

Happy Birthday to tits that just won’t die…in pictures that are probably photoshopped, but these people are liars, so we’ll take it.

Posted in:Salma Hayek|Salma Hayek

2023

02

Feb

Salma Hayek Tits of the Day

Salma Hayek may be an old as shit Mexicana rich fuck who got famous in America to become even richer before using that celebrity and them tits to lure in rich European men who own luxury brands including but not limited to the scandalous and perverted Balenciaga scam for the normie fools of Instagram to be trolled by Lardashians and Ye into buying literal trash for thousands of dollars cuz they are told to….but those thousands of dollars add up and allow a fool to buy a Hollywood actor from Mexico’s tits!

But yeah, her tits are still holding up, are they deserving of billions of dollars, who is to say, but clearly she knows how to suck the souls of people as most of these psychopath actors do.

Posted in:Salma Hayek|Salma Hayek

2023

19

Jan

Salma Hayek’s in her Bath Robe of the Day

Somewhere out there, there’s a motherfucker who’s number one fetish is jerking off to Salma Hayek in her bath robe. so he’ll be happy to know that his dream girl in his dream outfit has happened for him…and he probably doesn’t care that this is so photoshopped she’s basically an AR filter from SNAPCHAT….I mean, maybe this is a dude using his HAYEK filter, making everyone a HAYEK to be jerked off to by the unsuspecting HAYEK fanboys that we all know still exist because they haven’t been able to move on…STUNTED.

I’m more into her big old lady tits that haven’t been cancelled despite her husband’s luxury brands doing weird ass marketing campaigns that made the world question whether they are actually in the business of luxury fashion, or if other things are on their shipping containers…CONSPIRACY TIME!

The good news is rich Mexican, before being the Rich Mexican /American celebrity in the movies, before being the Rich Mexican American Celebrity in France married to an even richer motherfucker, still has her tits, CANCER hasn’t gnawed away at them yet, despite her age…so that’s a celebration….worth celebrating…

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2022

06

Sep

Salma Hayek Bikini of the Day

Y arriba, Y arriba!

I just put up the Tiny Tit Tuesday post where I advocate for more love and respect for Tiny Tits, but then I see Selma Hayek, who is pretty much known for her tits, is nothing but tits, still delivering the tits at 100 fucking years old, which could be because they are famous tits, or billionaire tits, since they don’t age like mere mortal tits, but that regardless of age, socio economic level, profession, or popularity, are tits that don’t don’t need to be shaking around on a boat like they are listening to Elvis music in the 50s, yet they are, and that’s a gift to all who like Shawarma Taco Salma Hayek tit, no matter the level of rot they’re at. Still looking good to me, but I’ve also eaten baked goods outside a coffee shop dumpster, so I’m open to grossness, I’m a foodie like that!

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Posted in:Salma Hayek

2022

11

Feb

Salma Hayek Ass of the Day

At a certain age, even with billionaire narcissistic celebrity trophy wives need to get their picture taken from half a mile away.

Living that GOOD FROM FAR but FAR FROM GOOD life that I am sure has had you check out at least one long hair biker on a road trip’s ass, thinking “oh yeah, look at that biker chick’s ass”…only to catch up and realize girl’s got a beard because she’s nto a girl at all….but rather a biker…

But yeah, even kind of girl who gets everything she wants, who has access to all the top fitness programs, the top fitness trainers, the top dieticians, the top chefs, the top plastic surgeons, the top face injections, the top baby blood transfusions, the top MEXICAN stem cell treatments that are illegal here, but that are not illegal to rich Mexicans….to make people as hot as they can to defy the aging process…even though their pussies are still 100 and rotting from the inside out…..

Then there’s the whole photoshop, digital retouching, post production, augmented reality filters for the he internet feeds, where life REALLY happens….now that we are all transhumanist drones dialled into the HIVE…or grid…thanks INTERNET for sucking…..and for LYING to us about how hot a bitch actually is…

But from that 1/2 mile away, I’m into the big Salma ass, it’d just be better if it was her big tits….since big tits at all ages can be fun…I know because I am a daytime stripclub patron where the old strippers go to die…and where I go to grab titty….you see, tits outlast ass when it comes to their expiration date….you can find a granny with a hot tit, but you’ll never find a granny with a hot ass….not even a famous one like SALMA…who I thin we should call SALAMI…because it sounds more delicious.

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Posted in:Salma Hayek|Salma Hayek

2021

02

Sep

Salma Hayek’s Swimsuit Selfie of the Day

I have a very hate/hate relationship with social media and I have since its inception, back when real entrepreneurs were launching their platforms to build out communities, before having them sold off to FOX, to destroy the platform and allow the evil doers to bring in FB, pretending their AI ROBOT ZUCK was the visionary, when it is clear that it was a tracking and mind controlling tool….

I’m not going to pretend I know the origin story of Facebook, I’ll just say that there’s power in running the social media platforms, by pushing stories to people their software understands at their core….tracking, manipulation, etc….

I am a firm believer of throwing the computer in the river, with the phone…because we are experiencing the EVIL of social media….

But when I see billionaire Salma Hayek who is a Hollywood Sweetheart, falling into the trap of feeling the need to post swimsuit selfies in her 50s, after a real successful career, you have to wonder what the fuck we’re involved in here…

Everyone has been reduced to clickbait garbage…

There was a time when a Salma Hayek bikini pic was premium, the paparazzi would sell it for hundreds of thousands of dollars and she’d pretend to be shy or her privacy invaded, yet here she is CURATING that shit to stay relevant…

Rich celebs reduced to thirsty girls holding on, and it’s not even because she’s old and expired, people dont’ even realize she’s old and expired, they are too distracted in their egotistical self involved lives….it’s brainwashing motherfuckers….which I guess is what her tits have done to all of us…the modern day pocket watch hypnosis…HER TITS…HUGE…OLD…but HUGE..

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2021

30

Jun

Salma Hayek Splits of the Day

Salma Hayek Splits

Salma Hayek may be old, but she’s still hot…

I guess when you’re rich as shit because you’re married to a billionaire, and rich in your own right cuz your’e famous and I am sure she was rich as shit before even coming to America to steal the jobs of the local Mexicans who may have been as qualified, with tits as big, but for whatever reason, the producers chose Salma…and I am sure not at a discounted price you’d expect the immigrants, even legal immigrants would command…

This is her doing splits, a little spread legged, without showing us the meaty pussy spread to see just how much damage childbirth and aging may do, despite flexibility, I hear labia keep growing into old age, like ears, noses and fingernails…

Either way, nice spread.

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Posted in:Salma Hayek

2021

22

Mar

Salma Hayek Swimsuit of the Day

Salma Hayek Swimsuit

In really important news, the Lebanese Mexican who likely has a French Passport too, thanks to being married to a Billionaire’s billionaire son, because that’s what happens when you’re a successful celebrity woman who has been made into a fetish, you sugar baby better than the rest of them, not that they need to, but why the fuck not….since they don’t associate with broke fucks….it’s a higher level of human…

But in really important news, the actress who’s tits we loved in her early years of American movie making, still has huge tits in her 50s….and looks great showing them off from half a mile away, which works for me because she’s aging well, despite the menopause, which in some cases is a gift that keeps giving month after month for the birth control aspect of menopause and not the standard reminder that your bitch is expired like it is in most cases…we call this menopausal inclusivity.

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Posted in:Salma Hayek

2021

24

Feb

Salma Hayek Wet of the Day

Salma Hayek Wet

Salma Hayek posed a picture of her soaking wet with the caption I’m ready “rain on me” which I assume is code for being peed on…but I am not too sure…I am not one of those rich guys who buys super famous women to pee on so I can’t really relate….I don’t even pee on the crackwhores I give money to…it’s a little too degrading for my liking, even if they are begging for it…since younger people are really into peeing on…while old fucks like me remember the first time a girl “squirted” on us during sex, that musky cat piss smell….thinking…”that bitch just peed on me”…..

That’s not to say I haven’t peed on a girl, it just means I don’t pee on girls. There’s a difference…

As it turns out, Salma Hayek, who has been hot her entire acting career in part because of her big Lebanese / Mexican titties…is still hot in her 50s…in part because of her big lebanese / mexican titties….we call them SHWARMA TACO….or I guess we’d call her vagina that…maybe this is more of a Tomale…I’m not a foodie…I don’t have the answers…

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Posted in:Salma Hayek

2021

18

Feb

Salma Hayek Cleavage of the Day

Salma Hayek Cleavage

I recently saw some bullshit about Salma Hayek defending that she didn’t marry her billionaire for his money, but rather for love…and I thought the whole thing was idiotic because Salma Hayek is rich as shit in her own right, whether she burnt through her money or not, she’s Salma Hayek and if a nice billionaire is hitting on her at the same time some lowly millionaire is hitting on her….the millionaire likely less millions than she has….plus there’s the whole celebrity factor which also carries some value….because even if she’s broke being Salma Hayek is worth money…her IG alone has 17 million followers which is likely worth millions even though it’s just an instagram account…

So what I am saying is…rich and famous women date billionaires because they are just as shitty as the millionaires…only they have less to prove….

So if you’re whoever was calling out Salma Hayek for marrying a billionaire, saying she’s a gold digger, you’re a fucking idiot and don’t realize how much these TITTIES are worth….not to mention, it’s not like she’s Miranda Kerr…she’ SALMA HAYEK.

The Mexican Lebanese Dream…tits we’ve loved for 20 years…still has the tits and I am still a fan of all she does with those tits….so LEAVE Salma Alone internet…

I must defend her honor like the HERO I am…

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Posted in:Salma Hayek