Shawn Johnson Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2013

09

Jul

Shawn Johnson’s See Through to Bra of the Day

Gymnasts, like swimmers, and really all professional Olympic athletes that are half naked in leotards jacked up their cunts all day, are perverts…you know down to fuck, ready to be half naked, all thanks to a life of showering with each other, and being on the world stage bending in ways you would want her hormonally modified vagina bending on your dick…

So seeing her bra in some random pic isn’t pornographic, especially considering every girl, even the most prudish girl, wearing these sheer tops and black bras everywhere I go, but luckily I’m old school and bras are still something naughty to me, so that every time I see one worn as outerwear, I think…”slut, get over here and sit on Santa’s lap”… in this fantasyI’m dressed in a santa suit..in case you were wondering. It’s not really my fetish, but I guess it is now…No Pedo.

Posted in:Shawn Johnson

2013

18

Feb

Shawn Johnson’s Gymnast Body of the Day

3 Comments »

This is s fucking fit body…and as much as I generally think of fit girls as dudes….cuz I like my women to have no real muscle mass or fat….you know…starvation body….I fully appreciate the work that she’s put into this machine…seriously, she’s fucking ripped and for some reason that I call taking care of herself…I find it fucking sexy….but that’s probably cuz I married a fat pile of shit.

Posted in:Shawn Johnson

2009

08

Apr

Shawn Johnson Grabbin’ Her Weird Boxy Titty of the Day

9 Comments »

Here’s that Dancing With The Stars, Olympic Gymnast, Shawn Johnson troll from dancing with the stars feeling herself up. I was going to say because no one else in their right mind would, considering how jacked she is, but realize that guys have no fucking standards and would fuck anything with a vagina, even if that vagina can bench press their balls while ripping their dick off in some strong-man grip. I also realize that lesbians live for this type of shit, especially with Johnson’s gymnast background and flexibility and strength, she can pull some next level dyke scissor pussy grind…but I’m not diggin’ this, at all.

Posted in:Shawn Johnson|Tit

2009

31

Mar

How the Fuck Did Shawn Johnson Have a Stalker of the Day

3 Comments »

I think the biggest joke on TV right now is that this Shawn Johnson dude has a fuckin’ stalker. It’s like not only is the dude stalking her crazy enough to stalk a motherfucker hard enough to get arrested, but he’s also got no fucking taste.

It is always one of life’s great fucking tragedies when a crazy person, some passionate enough to not fear outcome, don’t have the fuckin’ insight to use that crazy properly, and waste it on girls like Shawn Johnson. You know, because he could have been arrested for stalking any fucking girl in the world, and he chose her. Very upsetting….

Posted in:Shawn Johnson|stalker

2008

02

Sep

Ortega Makes Shawn Johnson’s Taco Pop….of the Day

9 Comments »

I probably slept on this commercial. but it turns out that Ortega Taco Sauce makes Shawn Johnson’s Taco Pop, somethin I the parallel bars did a long time ago and by parallel bars I mean her coach and by coach I mean not you.

Posted in:Ortega|Shawn Johnson|Taco Sauce

2008

21

Aug

Shawn Johnson Olympic Muscular Bitch of the Day

8 Comments »

Nothing says sexy like an Olympic Gold medal athlete flexing her muscles in her bikini….These are some personal pictures of some athlete named Shawn Johnson and if you find muscular chicks like this in anyway, I hate to break it to you, but you are gay.

If you think that’s just the obvious thing to say, I have evidence that being turned on by girls with muscles leads you to homosexuality because I used to hang with this sister named Ted and we’d go to the strippers about once a week and everytime we were there he’d get a lap dance from this girl who was a bodybuilder during the day and competed and shit.

She’d get on stage and do chin ups on the bar and push ups all while flexing her greased up shit. Everyone would cheer her on cuz of the novelty, but Teddy would just stare at her with his big eyes and boner, and would always be the first and only guy to get a lap dance with her who wasn’t a victim of an asshole friend’s prank that he couldn’t get out of…..

Either way, muscles or not you are and always have been gay for me and I appreciate that considering how busted I am…

Here’s Shawn Johnson, she’s a gymnast and she’s 16 ya pervert….ya gay pervert…