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Archive for the Sluts Category

2008

15

Dec

The Girls of Momma’s Boy of the Day

38 Comments »

Since I am lazy and don’t do research on much other than Amateur Porn and various health symptoms to see what diseases I may or may not have, and since I don’t actually care about what’s going on on TV or in Movies or even in Hollywood, despite my site being pretty much only about sluts in Hollywood, I rely heavily on PR people and random people to send me stories.

So I got this email:

I’ve done a little research on the latest NBC reality show to debut December 16th, “Momma’s Boys”, a new series with producer Ryan Seacrest. Seacrest may have the sweetest, most innocent smile on television, however, his reputation may face some serious smearing with this project.

While scrolling through the new cast members, I thought to myself how much they looked like porn stars or strippers vying for television exposure. My suspicions were confirmed when I recognized Erica Ellyson, Miss 2008 Penthouse Pet of the Year. With a little help from my good friend Google, I found Ms. Ellyson was not the only cast member with a racy background. A total of 4 of these lovely women chosen to find true love have taken there clothes off for the camera more times than one. I have included some links that you may be interested in taking a look at, pics and all.

So seeing as this piece of shit show hits tomorrow, and seeing that Ryan Seacrest is my soulmate with his frosted hair and killer smile always seduce me and since I’ve had a relationship with him when I am feeling gay, because you can’t control who your soul mates are, I figured it’d only be right to showcase the sluts of his show, to give him the boost of interest he was hoping for in casting them and not trying to hide the fact that they are whores who get naked for money. Truth is, I think it’s a good strategy to get people to watch, so maybe he’s not just a dreamy motherfucker, but also a genius.

Either way, here’s a glimpse at the sluts that were cast:

Erica Ellyson (2008 Penthouse Pet of the Year)
Hometown: Hurley, MS
Occupation: Adult Model
Age: 24


Hey y’all! I was born and raised in South Mississippi. I grew up a bit of a tomboy; fishing with my parents, running track, playing golf and softball. After attending community college, I went to architecture school until I received the title of the 2008 Penthouse Pet of the Year. Right now, I’m taking a break from my studies due to my travel demands as a Penthouse Pet. I will go back to school when my year with Penthouse is finished. I like to play golf as much as possible. When not on the course, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends: cooking, eating, and watching football and baseball.

I love how all these nude models say they were tomboy’s growing up, it really makes them that much hotter….to pedophiles.

Meghan Allen (Playboy)
Hometown: Dallas, TX
Occupation: Bartender/Model
Age: 27


I love Texas and all it has to offer. I have the most amazing job and friends! I am a hair stylist, but right now I’m working as a bartender/cocktail waitress at one of the hottest clubs in Dallas. I love my job because it gives me free time to do what I love most, which is modeling. Lately, I’ve been very busy with photo shoots because I am working on a website. In my free time I love doing anything that has to do with water… the beach, pool, boating etc. I love hanging out with my friends and just relaxing. I’m a very laid-back person and love to laugh and have a good time. I’m probably one of the goofiest girls you’d ever meet. I’m not afraid to be myself – for instance, I love to burp out loud and am not shy about it! My little Chihuahua Bella is my world! I have the most amazing family. Since they live in Pennsylvania I miss them tons! That’s pretty much me in a nutshell.

Another barmaid/waitress from Texas who saved herself enough money for fake tits to get all the attention she can get to the level of fame she deserves. In her mind, this show is a stepping stone, in reality, it’s her 5 minutes and the fact that she burps out loud is fucking disgusting.

Stacy Fuson (Playboy)

Hometown:Tacoma, WA
Occupation: Student/Model
Age: 30


I loved growing up in Washington State. This led me to my love of fishing and boating. As a kid, I played a lot of sports. My favorites are softball, volleyball, basketball, and bowling. I enjoy traveling and have been to England, France, Croatia, Argentina, Peru, Panama, and Japan. I love Japanese food, especially sushi. For the past 12 years, I’ve been modeling and have worked on “Entourage,” “Shallow Hal,” “American Pie,” and “Sullivan Sisters.” I was Playboy’s Miss February 1999 and the 2005 St. Pauli Girl. I love the beach, going to dinner, and watching movies. I’m a producer and anchor on a news website. I’m also going to business school and will soon launch my own brand of vitamins, Vitamins by Stacy.

Isn’t 30 a little too old to still be in school? Maybe a better strategy would be to go more hardcore, throw some dick into these photoshoots and make your work matter a little more than it does, if you are going to be a fucking whore to get ahead…be a fucking whore and give us something worth lookin’ at….whore.

Posted in:Momma Boy|Sluts

2008

11

Nov

Some Teen Girls Growin’ Up Too Fast of the Day

4 Comments »

there’ really nothing interesting going on right now, been surfing the internet and nothing interesting is coming up, but I was sent this video about some teenage girl in the UK who wants breast implants even though she’s probably 16. I guess it’s a testament to how awesome big tits are, or maybe the influence of all those UK glamor models having careers based on their big tits making 14 year olds feel inadequate and despite hating fake tits, this does give me confidence that the world is going in the right direction……

The real issue is obviously the parents, they give their kids too much freedom like this one mom saying she thinks her daughter is old enough to make decisions about her body for herself, even if the girl isn’t fully developed and that not being developed really makes perverts more aroused versus the fake tits they see at stripclubs constantly, anyone can have those, but only 15 year olds can have teenage titties, so why ruin a good thing, I guess because you’re a whore in training and this is phase one….or whatever….either way, watch the video, blame Jordan, Gemma Atkinson and them other slags who have proven today that despite popular belief, they aren’t entirely useless…..

Posted in:Sluts|Teens|UK

2008

30

Sep

Slutty Sisters of the Day

3 Comments »

I don’t know who these twins are and I don’t really care because I got a fucking finger shoved in my ass toay and I am not really in the mood to use google, for fear that I may land on images of prostate exams being administered, which is never a good thing for me, because girls don’t have a fucking prostate, not that I ever tell them that for fear that they’ll catch onto my lie that is “lookin’ for cancer, since it’s pretty fuckin’ common” to get up in there in the first place and I’d hate my strategy to be let out of the fucking bag.

Either way, these girls look like they are down with anal, I mean all girls who were raised in Hollywood with dreams of fame are, and if they happen to be the only two who aren’t then I bet they are definitely down with showering together, because they are sisters after all and it’s only natural and that’s good enough for me, because they aren’t all that hot as one, but pretty fucking glorious as a tag team.

Posted in:AJ Michalka|Aly Michalka|Sluts

2008

30

Sep

Ecko’s Marketing Campaign Includes Hot Chicks of the Day

1 Comment »

I don’t know if you remember Ecko, they kinda fell off the map about 5 or 6 years ago when they started selling the shit in Wal Mart or places like Wal Mark and homeless people like me started rockin’ our Rhino sweatshirts because our wives thought they were cute and were the only thing under 20 dollars in the store that fit our overweight selves, not because we were hip hop or trying to maintain street cred, but because we were lazy and it was convenient.

It looks like they are making their way back onto the scene and they are drawing attention in the oldest way possible and that is with hot sluts in bikinis, showing off their asses, pretending to be making jeans, despite knowing the truth that these jeans were probably made in China, Indonesia or wherever else they make jeans these days, but who really cares about the sweatshops, unless of course they look like this.

Now do me a favor and email Ecko letting them know I promoted them for free because after Diesel’s SFW Porn ad was such a big hit, I figured I had to keep bringing the goods. I’d insert the link to the Diesel SFW porn clip, but that’s what the search bar is for, do it yourself you lazy pig.

To See the Rest of the Videos
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Posted in:Ecko|Jeans|Sluts

2008

14

Aug

Adrian Grenier and His 3-Girl Rebound of the Day

3 Comments »

[ Images removed in compliance with DMCA Notice ]

In case you didn’t know, Adrian Grenier’s girlfriend was in the car with Shai LeBeef when he had his drunk driving accident, leading the world to believe she’s fuckin’ that little troll’s useless cock, while probably being a huge blow to Adrian Grenier’s ego, because let’s face it, whenever a girl I bang goes with someone fuckin’ lame after being with me, I take personal offense and even think for a minute that maybe I am delusional and maybe this fucker is a step up from me and that I just think he’s a loser because I am jealous that she’s fucking someone who isn’t me, but probably not because I don’t believe in jealousy and what I find lame is not what girls find lame, so in the end it all makes sense and I end up marrying the first fat lonely chick who comes along, because I figure I am older and I don’t want to be alone and that she’s going to always be there for me through thick and thin because she’s older and doesn’t want to be alone either, even though she’s not anything I ever wanted to marry and is probably something I wouldn’t even notice walking down the street, but she’s mine, I’ve settled and this post is depressing me, let me switch it up….

So Adrian Grenier has dumped the LeBeef girl, and was spotted paddle surfing, the gayest sport out there with 3 chicks in their bikinis, and last time I checked, 3 girls on your dick is better than one, so while his ex is out with some Hollywood loser, Grenier’s showin’ her than shit don’t matter and he’s going to make the best of this freedom, you cheating, lying, useless piece of ass who is just trying to advance your own career and it will all backfire, because there’s a lot hotter more talented pussy out there than you.

Posted in:Adrian Grenier|Bikini|Sluts|Uncategorized

2008

13

Aug

Rachel Bilson Rocks a Maternity Dress of the Day

6 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Rachel Bilson swimming in her dress. I know local girls who do that shit here, usually because they are fat and trying to distract you from seeing their fat or because they are pregnant and don’t want you to know they have out of wedlock, unprotected sex with dudes from Canada who are in the new Star Wars trilogy…

Posted in:Maternity Dress|Rachel Bilson|Sluts

2008

22

Jul

James Blunt Rocks Out With Topless Sluts of the Day

16 Comments »

I am convinced that the only reason people try to become famous, pick up a guitar, start writing songs or movies, or start acting classes is not because of the passion for the art, or even for the money because there’s really no guarantee things will work out to make you money, but 100 percent for the pussy. It’s like even if you’re some loser rocker who plays local bars, or some shitty actor in local car dealership commercials, or even if you’re a male model for your friend’s clothing shitty t-shirt company, there will be girls willing to bang you because you are seemingly more important that the other dude that’s trying to get their pussy.

That’s why seeing James Blunt with sluts sucking each other’s tits, riding his friends, or simulating doggy style like some kind of private spring break party, doesn’t really come as a surprise, it’s easy fuckin’ pickings for this weird lookin’ clown because he’s a star and even your wife would throw her vagina to get with him because he writes songs strictly to remove panties. So whether these pics are new or not doesn’t really matter, because I am just posting them to remind you where you’ve gone wrong in your life.

Posted in:James Blunt|Sluts|Topless

2008

08

Apr

American Beauty Queens of the Day

5 Comments »

I am not a racist, I am not going to say that any part of the song is appropriate for the video. I am going to say that some people have some pretty sick fetishes and when I look at scantily clad fat chicks, no matter what their ethnic background is, I feel like someone down the line has given them some bad advice. Those people are usually perverts who can’t get pussy or weirdos who had fat moms and think that’s how women are supposed to look and make them feel good about being pigs, but all I want to do is lock my fuckin’ fridge to the ground or some shit, for fear that these pigs won’t take the time to open it to see what’s inside and just down the whole fuckin’ thing whole and when that’s done, they’ll move to the couch and eat that too. On their way down the street for their after meal walk, they’ll swallow every chick that crosses their path and still have room for desert. These bitches are fatter than Perez, but then again so am I and so is my wife, and you don’t see me walking around showing off my balls, even though I should….

I guess none of this matters and that I am still drunk, but know that whatever the fuck’s going on in this video, it’s fuckin’ wrong except for maybe their huge tits, but that’s just because I know how to focus my attention to what’s really important and that’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Black|Obesity|Sluts|stepTV

2008

19

Feb

The Sacramento Kings Dancers are Pretty Slutty of the Day

3 Comments »

These pictures have been going around for the last couple of days and I decided to post them. They are pretty tame and remind me of pretty much any bitch who thinks she’s hot on myspace, but are of the Sacramento Kings’ dancers acting like boring and typical party sluts. It is not all that surprising that a group of cheesy bitches who want to be cheerleaders for professional team in the first place would show off their bodies or thongs like the tacky bitches they are because showing off their asses when that’s pretty much what they do for a living.

Now if these girls were anything like the party sluts I know, they’d be doing a choo-choo train on their knees with each other’s faces buried in the ass of the girl in front of them, but then again, the party sluts I know are prostitutes….and charge for that.

Posted in:Dancers|Sacramento Kings|Sluts

2007

06

Aug

I am – Paris Hilton Making Good on Her Word of the Day

1 Comment »

Paris Hilton

I was walking home at around 8am from the Coke party on Friday night and I stopped in at the grocery store to grab some juice or something, but ended up being way too high to even remember what I went in there for and just walked up and down the aisles hoping I would remember. That happens to me alot. I heard a bit of a commotion at the front of the store, so went up to check things out, cause I’m nosey like that. There was some old bum freaking out about one thing or another, and had the attention of the managers and the clerks, while his buddy was behind them filling his coat with whatever he could get his hands on. Brilliant.

This was going on for awhile, until finally the Manager noticed me just standing there staring at them all, and I snapped out of it, not sure how long I had even been there. I couldn’t remember why I went in there in the first place and it got really awkward really fast, so just decided to leave before they caught on to the scam. I don’t really steal, but I’m not about to knock anyone’s hustle either, and I thought it was pretty clever, so I didn’t want to blow their cover.

Here’s Paris, fresh from a hard days work at her local soup kitchen. I’m really glad she is making good on her promises to do make more of herself and life in general. Doing all that charity work at LA nightclubs and the beach must be pretty tiring. She should really take a vacation or something.


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Posted in:Bikini|Liars|Paris Hilton|Sluts|Unsorted