If your day isn’t shitty enough, here’s a song Chris Brown made for Rihanna to milk the fuck out of the whole beating the fuck out of his girlfriend situation, where motherfucker sounds like he’s been shot in the kneecap and forced to drag himself 60 miles through the desert with no water to safety. I didn’t listen to the words but I do like to celebrate really bad fucking things every once in awhile, especially when I know it is bullshit, because Rihanna and Chris Brown are still together….motherfucker garbage…
Here’s some new Mariah Carey Video for you to listen to while you masturbate or sing along to when nobody is around, I am only posting it because she’s in a bikini and showing off her fat tits, and fat tits are pretty much the way to my heart. Another way to my heart is a lot of hard liquor. I decided to get drunk last night to celebrate your Independence Day and unfortunately didn’t lure girls back to my place for a hot tub party, mainly because I don’t have a hot tub and they weren’t down with standing in the shower while I through buckets of hot water on them, but I did stumble home and I realize that the drunker you get, the less you care about getting tits back to your house and the more you start caring about survival and just getting home alive.
So Lindsay Lohan is back in the recording studio and shit sounds pretty fuckin’ life changing. I wonder if she produced this with her lesbian lover Samantha Ronson who thinks she’s a fuckin’ legend to the music world because her brother has found some success with the hipsters with his shit and by association she’s thinks she’s on some next level of music. It seems like she gets booked with high paid DJ gigs because people are easily influenced and believe what they are told and are scared to not book her for fear of being called homophobes.
Either way, this trash is Lohan talking over a shitty beat about how she’s a little boss and I have a feeling the rhyming scheme of this shit was ripped off some kid she met at some make a wish foundation event back when she was more more relevant to kids before being a drug addicted whore and the kid wrote a poem for her as a thanks for making their dream come true before dying.
Everyone finds this bitch hysterical and I don’t see the funny in what she does, what I do know is that her shoulders are so fucking broad she probably didn’t land much cock growing up and that’s why she’s overcompensating, kinda like the funny fat kid in the back of the class who makes everyone laugh so he always gets invited to parties instead of made fun of and left in the corner where he belongs, and sometimes the hot chick decides to fuck him when she’s wasted because he makes her laugh.
I was never that guy because I am not funny, I am just an asshole and that usually makes one other asshole laugh while just hurting the feelings of person I am making for of and that doesn’t get you invited to the parties, but this isn’t about me, what it’s about is Silverman.
This is her stupid act that involves her disgusting vagina and ass singing along with her. It is harmless and would go over huge at a frat party meaning that you’ll probably like it because you are a loser. I always thought girls thinking their pussies having a mind of their own was kinda cute, but the thought of Sarah Silverman’s ass or pussy makes me think scary things, that don’t involve singing but do involve a weird alien creature crawling out of the shit like some kind of miscarriage gone wrong and grabbing you by the dick and forcing you inside.
I know you really like the idea of an ass and pussy talking because in your fantasy they are convincing their host to give you a shot, an while you’re in there they give you words of encouragement as to just how good of a job you are doing. When the truth is that if Vagina could talk, they’d all be begging you to stop poking them there and screaming for help while the woman they belong to is passed out in the back of a cab and you’re taking advantage of the situation. You’re such an opportunist and I guess I have no choice but to respect that.
