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Archive for the Swimming Category

2007

10

Aug

I am – Tara Reid as a Bikini Gypsy of the Day

My community college friend “Shanna” flaked out on me and our friend “StripTease,” who i call StripTease because she will flash you her rack within five minutes of meeting her. Basically Shana’s phone went directly to voice mail which means she was too drunk to charge her cell, dropped it down a toilet, and was choking on her own vomit somewhere. She is in deep shit either way.

StripTease and I gave up and got stoned in her Brooklyn apartment that is directly above a funeral parlor. I swore off weed 3 years ago, but i wanted to be somewhere else without having to drink my way there, and I’ll take what’s given to me. StripTease bought a Chanel purse for 20 bucks off a cokehead who was selling her shit for more coke. StripTease was excited about her new boyfriend’s big dick, but pretty pissed about having to bail her little sister out of jail for shoplifting lip-gloss from a pharmacy. I told her that if her sister wants to rebel properly, she should just start giving $10 blow-jobs off the West Side highway, and the rest will work itself out.

So this is a pretty boring post because i got fucked up instead of fucked last night. But on the train back into the city, a button-nosed little banker passed out and his head landed in my lap. I let the little fucker nuzzle up in my groin because that was about as much play as I had coming. I considered taking his laptop with me at my stop, but I prefer stealing from fat tourists.

Here is Tara Reid being a tourist in Italy, and rolling with a crew of gypsies. I would like to have been a gypsy back in their hey-day like 300 years ago. Riding around in a caravan from place to place, stealing shit, camping out, and drinking. In a way that’s what I did as a hooker, except I road on cocks instead of in Caravans. Have fun busting one to Tara Reid looking more like a Gypsy whore than a botched lypo experiment.

obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hookler, friend of Jesus)


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I am – Tara Reid See Through of the Day
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Posted in:Uncategorized

2007

09

Aug

I am – Britney Swims Topless of the Day

britpoolcloseup.jpg

So this is probably old news but it’s new to me because I didn’t log onto a computer for more than 5 minutes every couple of days to check emails and to learn that the only people who care about me are spammers. I barely got any emails asking me to come back to the site, I barely got emails telling me the site is amazing, I got no emails from people offering me money or sex, so a month vacation is long enough for me to know I am still a loser. So as a loser, I have no choice but to post some pictures of Britney swimming topless with some K-Fed motherfucker who I think is K-Fed.

The reality of this shit is that once you get pussy the first time, you’ve already done all the hard work and it’s easier to get it again rather than getting new pussy. In K-Fed’s case, it may not have been so hard to get Britney in the first place because she was this lonely retarded girl who had been devirginized by Timberlake and whose only friends were her dancers and as the only straight dancer, K-Fed had some major advantage in getting her cunt, knocking her up and setting up his retirement plan, but that’s not the point.

The point is that recycling pussy you’ve already landed is easier than landing more new pussy, especially for someone like you who has only landed the pussy of lonely broken down and abused chicks who hate themselves and use fucking as a way to make themselves feel wanted for the 2 minutes you last and sometimes finding them again is as easy as making a call, sending an email, driving down the block she worked before the drug overdose or showing up to pick up your kids for your monthly deadbeat dad visit that ends with you in the pool naked with the slut you knocked up.

The real issue is that I don’t know what I am saying, I am pretty jet lagged and refuse to re-read my posts. Cuddles.


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Posted in:Uncategorized