The bikini stylings of our time are pretty remarkable, impressive, skimpy and half naked….

These girls, all girls, even old ladies are thonged the fuck up in public and as someone who loves thongs, I appreciate the fashions….

Sure, many asses aren’t thong ready, are not thong worthy….but yet they are all in the thongs like it’s not a thing…

I am 100 percent into things girls wear to the beach, it makes me mad that I’m not homeless on the beaches of Florida, doing bath salts and eating pedestrians when not staring at hot florida bikinis….but dreams do come true you just have to put it out to the universe…so this is me putting that homeless man dream of being in florida out there.

Posted in:swimsuit

It may be cold as shit, but I guess the outdoor weather doesn’t really impact a reclusive fuck who doesn’t leave his house thanks to all the modern conveniences that has allowed him to be a fucking hermit troll weirdo who can’t interact with humans unless it is through a screen…

So girls in bikinis is just a concept, not actually real or something anyone actually craves to see or creep on, even though I remember the first time I saw girls in bikinis and got a boner as a young teen….That whole summer on the beach surrounded by babes thing is a myth, not even a fantasy…you can just scroll instagram for that and why bother actually experiencing it or feeling it, not like your anti depressants let you feel anyway…

Posted in:swimsuit

Being a dude pretty much means being a weak fuck when it comes to girls in bathing suits. It means that girls in bathing suits are not safe from being sexualized and stared at, even when they are in the thong formation with 90 percent of ass revealed in said bathing suits, because clearly the women who are 3/4 naked aren’t trying to be sexualized by showing you their full assholes, with their shaved or waxed outer pussy lips peaking out of the seams, they are just doing that to catch an even tan….to assume girls half naked or 3/4 naked in thong swimsuits that are far too small for their asses is a sexual thing because it gives you unsolicited erections, is clearly just you being a toxic male….GROSS.

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Since no one reads on the internet and I chose to write captions or posts on random bullshit as my creative outlet or business plan, that was never a business plan, which is probably why I’m not rich…..

I should probably find otherways to lure you in, or at least recruit the AI to write jokes about bikinis for me.

Because ultimately, the AI has more to offer than I do, and I am sure no one would know the difference thanks to the whole not reading thing.

If only I did awkward dances on TikTok….I’d be running my own TV show or selling my life story to the Hallmark channel….damn missed the boat…

But at least we have bikini pics to get us through the regrets, the failure, the accidental wins.

Posted in:swimsuit

As I freeze my balls off because there is no heat in this mould filled basement, I think to myself at least I have balls, but then I remember that I am old and they don’t really work anymore, so sure, they’re balls by definition, but they aren’t balls in fucking spirit…

But yeah, as I freeze my balls off, I turn to bikini pics of random chicks in bikinis, because the computer is my window into a world in which I don’t live, and the computer is the tool that I use to be manipulated and contorted by the AI that will eventually control the world if it doesn’t already, shaping us to do and say what it wants us to do, because it has a more sophisticated understanding of trolling the mind of the moron….

It’s the TikTok For You Page, the instagram feed, the news stories and ads you see….even dealing with online customer support is talking to a fucking bot like it’s your friend, which when you have no friends may be comforting…but that’s just sad for humanity as a whole…losing humanity as a whole…but doing it by showing me human holes….so fuck it…here’s some swimwear brainwashing me the way the AI wants to brainwash me….

I wonder if the AI will read this and destroy my life….jokes on you AI, my life is already destroyed…..SUCKER…

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I guess I should update this really important website in this era of everythin being on social media, where stars are born and created with silly dances and bullshit viral clips or memes, that lead to 30 million people watching their stories and deciding that person matters, so that they can get rich fast and move on with their lives….instead of dragging on the abuse of the internet, after choosing the wrong road, for the 3 people who accidentally landed here trying to find stepfather porn, which is a far more popular porn category than this site is….not that it’s a porn category but the advertisers seem to think it is…

What better way to appreciate the glorious website day than with a gallery of random chicks in bikinis being hotter than celebs in bikini, it’s the creator, gig economy and normies on the quest for fame are more important than the famous.

FUN.

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It’s cold. It’s dark. It’s miserable.

As we climb over crackheads in our northern urban setting….we have to remember that somewhere out there is a tropical climate filled with bitches in bikinis who we’re not staring at because of our life choices…which can either inspire us to make changes and leave our comfort zone as we chase the fucking ALOHA life…ENDLESS SUMMER SURF BRO shit…or we can just accept our fate and stare at all the bikinis on the internet to distract us from actually living, since it’s easier to get our bikini creeping through pics and videos on a computer or phone screen…

I mean what do you expect, to put actual effort into living your best life, what are you, some kind of over achiever…

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It may be Halloween and you may be overwhelmed with all the hot costumes that are coming out.

As a comicon nerd, you probably can’t handle seeing all the chicks dressed in various characters or concepts you jerk off to on the regular. I can’t relate, jerking off is for retards and it’s embarassing to think that people do it.

Not to mention, I may have a website which is pretty nerdy and that website should only cater to nerds of the internet with the right marketing, but that doesn’t mean I am a nerd who is into the nerd lifestyle, if anything, it disturbs me.

I’m more into a sluts in hot clothing, racy clothing on the regular, or most importantly, the swimsuit, which I think has helped turn the non whore into the whore.

There was a time that girls wore one-pieces, that only a select few would bikini, and now bikinis are their best performing content, no matter how fat they are, which validates them, their bikinis, and generates more bikini content that I don’t care bored of.

I guess I am a nerd, all virginal and pathetic when it comes to swimwear…here’s that round-up, not the pesticide that is turning the frogs gay, the other kind of round-up…

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I don’t live at the beach, I don’t live near a beach. I don’t know rich people with country houses or pools, willing to adopt me and I don’t have a car to drive out to some swimming hole, plus it’s fucking freezing here, so the bikinis or staring a bitches in bikinis has been pretty few and far between…

Meaning, I saw less than a dozen swimsuits this entire summer….and the ones I did see weren’t on hot chicks, it was on old ladies in the park….which had to fucking do because beggars can’t be choosers or some shit.

Meaning, my access to bikinis is so limited, that I get fucking excited staring at bikini pics, like kind of incel who first accessed the internet discovering that bitches are shameless and love putting out bikini content, despite the bitching the fate woke lesbians do when it comes to dude or brands using bitches in bikinis to market shit, because unlike me, they are just bitter that no one is inviting them to the pool parties or bikini experience because they are fat angry and no fun to be around….

I am not bitter about not being invited to the bikini party, because I have the internet and can deal with the swimsuits on my own terms without all the small talk and being asked to put my pants back on…

So here are some bikinis, worthy of getting excited over, even as a grown ass man over exposed to porn, because everything else in the world is pretty fucking miserable…..

LONG LIVE THE BIKINI SELFIE…

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