This is major news, at least to the average middle american who is out of work, uneducated and doesn’t really bother with actual news, because the whole celebrity thing is far more exciting, you know to distract from their shitty fucking life, giving them something focus on, like Taylor Swift’s relationship history as they buy her merchandise making her money, and not realizing how shitty their lives are, because if they did realize, they’d likely kill themselves by hanging from the trailer park communal shower, because the ceilings in the trailer aren’t high enough to dangle from….

Taylor Swift is not wearing weirdo high waisted bikini bottoms like some kind of creep who raided her grandmother’s bathing suit drawer like she has the last dozen or more times she’s been in a bikini…

I don’t know about you, but this is just major…at least in a world with little going on…

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Taylor Swift posted some artistic bikini pics that don’t involve bikinis…which is kind of Taylor Swift’s hustle, because she’s either a demon sent from hell or an alien planet to brainwash the world…who can’t show her mid-section because she’s got scars, or marking from her home planet…like genitals where belly buttons usually are…or she’s just insecure about her skinny little body which makes little to no sense….because its a skinny little body…but at least shes’ making an effort, just not quite as much effort as she should….I mean any under 25 year old in a one piece is a fucking fail, even if they are worth a billion dollars and not a failure in the other aspects of their life, they might as well be, cuz bikinis are the only thing that matter…obviously..

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Taylor Swift has a long lean body…and lately, I’ve been finding her hot, but for some reason, every time she gets into a bikini, which happens every once in a while, she’s rockin’ these old lady form fitting, belly hiding, gunt/muff gut shaping bottoms that just look fucking clown-like.

She rocks these so much, that I am convinced she’s hiding something from us, maybe a freakish birthmark, or damage from all the sex she’s had, or even a scar, or testicles, or who the fuck knows, a twin she ate and hasn’t had removed because it gives her her demon powers to manipulate the youth, or a tattoo….

There is something behind this constant high waisted bullshit, and someone needs to get to the bottom of it…like it’s one of life’s great mysteries, which it is, cuz right now, as I stare at it…it is all that fucking matters..and it’s confusing me, turning what could be hot, into something horrible…

I mean she’s in her 20s, get her some Brazilan cut shorts yo!

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

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Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez make up the puppets who have been chosen amongst all the other puppets out there to brainwash the youth through their music.

So it is only natural that they are friends, or at least spend some time together, because they are both in the same boat, probably leaving some Disney executive meeting about how they are colonizing Mars behind our backs, and to keep up the dancing and dating scandals to distract us from the insane laws they keep passing under our noses, so that real journalism never sees the light of day, and that the rich can keep getting richer…

That or they are just milking a lesbian fantasy for you perverts who have very specific sexual needs that involve young starlets with hugely successful, lots of radio play, horrible songs….

Or maybe, it has to do with Selena Gomez’s 21st birthday…OMG…who gives a fuck…

I’d say more labia, but I like the titty show…everybody put your elbows in the air…

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I heard the Taylor Swift Trouble song on the radio the other day for the first time and it won me over….now I hate pop music, but anyone who tries to argue that that isn’t one of the best composed pop songs in the last few years is just hating on her for the sake of hating on her…when really we should be supporting her for being a tall, skinny thing who may even have some implants now, who despite wearing her high waisted bikini because she thinks she’s fat, or has some scars from all the abortions she’s had to have done surgically cuz her vagina was ridden with herpes so bad it swelled shut and they couldn’t get the vacuum in…turns me the fuck on…I guess like a 14 year old girl, I’m easily brain washed…or maybe I just like sluts…even when they aren’t marketed as sluts…especially when they are worth 100 million dollars…

I am ready to K-Fed her.

Here are her 4th of July pics…

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Is this Taylor Swift’s Nipple…this GIF was just sent to me from a faithful creep on FACEBOOK we call FOETUS….and I just can’t tell whether I can actually see what I want to see or if my mind is just playing tricks on me because I have a thing for really reach popstars who have made a career exposing dudes they fuck that they pretend they date cuz it is accessible to any girl who has ever been in love…leading to her doing all kinds of market research with her pussy in efforts to get more and more experience to sing about cuz that shit pays the fucking bills and makes the fucking empire an empire…

It’s like we’ve all turned this wholesome chick into a slut who sleeps around, and who is now sexing herself up as a woman, instead of an awkward team, all from buying her music…and now out of fear of losing her magic basic as fuck lyrics, she fucks and fucks and fucks…to get inspired…and there’s something amazing about that…

I am a fan.

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What happened to this awkward nerdy hundred millionaire in her oversized clothes and sneakers making her long lean model-like body look like some kind of lanky character in a sitcom that always falls all over herself…

I just don’t know…

But I do know that I like it. It’s like the weird girl makeover that happened in every Teen Comedy of the 90s, only real life. Take off the glasses, apply some make-up, put her in a hot dress, let down her hair, and boom, all of a sudden babe.

I heard she’s gonna be in Canada this weekend, too bad I’m too lazy, cuz otherwise I’d totally stand out her hotel waiting for an autograph in the form of herpes…you know the real fan kind of autograph that you can’t frame, but you can remember forever.

Taylor Swift, I love you.

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I don’t know why I suddenly have a boner for Taylor Swift. I think it’s just because I like sluts, whether they are girls pulling out their tits in the club, or showing me the sandwich in her panties at the deli, or even when they are going home with strangers to suck their dick, as their boyfriends as at home, sluts just excite me.

I guess it’s partially to do with regular girls not being able to control their basic animalistic need to get knocked up, because a girl who can’t control her urges to get a dick inside her, is usually a lot of fun to hang out with

And partially because I like seeing reality, instead of these Taylor Swift wholesome acts, that you know behind closed doors, involve licking asshole while jerking dudes off, that we’ll never hear or find out about, because she only lets the public know about the multiple boyfriends she has sex with more than once…and there’s already been a lot of those.

You see, I know girls who bang a different dude everyday, some who bang a different dude every month, and people call them sluts, while Taylor Swift pretends they are her boyfriend to be more media friendly, but still gets at least 12 cocks a year….

Meaning the truth behind these pictures tell me a story I can masturbate to, coupled with the fact that she’s not fat, rich and famous, makes her porn to me.

Here she is performing….

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I like where Taylor Swift is going with her costumes. You know showing off her long legs and skinny little body. Glamming it up a little, rather than just being some awkward looking money making machine. But in my defines, I love when girls get slutty, especially when their vaginas, historically, at least according to her public image, is already slutty to begin with. You know a girl who’s banged a few dozen dudes, some of whom via her ass, and mouth…and who dresses the part, rather than pulling some wholesome, everyday chick.

All this to say, this is a good look, good strategy, turn the long weird looking girl, into a push up bra, short short wearing slag.

I’m down.

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