My site is getting hit fucking hard with traffic or something cuz it’s running like it was the product of a Father and Daughter having a baby, even though Dr. Phil says that incest doesn’t breed flipper babies and that that is just an old wife’s tale used to scare people off from fucking family, because let’s face it, it’s really accessible. I suggest you test the theory out at home and make your family proud by crawling into bed with your sister tonight, naked and hard…I’m sure it’ll go over well….

Speaking of making your family proud, here are some recent pics of that slut Ashlee Simpson showing the world her titty. I’d say that she did this for daddy Joe, a celebrity father/manager known for turning his girls into “sex symbols” because he was bored of them being sex symbols for him in the privacy of his own home, because even Cindy Crawford’s husband gets bored of her pussy, and Daddy Joe figured he could make decent money off of them…he was right, but this picture isn’t hardcore enough for him, he’s more into the pussy shots.

On a side note, my site is blocked in all schools and corporate offices around the world, that is why no one reads it. It’s got nothing to do with my shitty writing, I promise and I would get a better server, if this site made me enough money to pay for a better server…That’s your cue to send me money asshole. This post took me an hour to upload…

Either way, here’s that nipple.

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I am not really a looker and that’s okay. I don’t expect the general population to be attractive, but I do expect someone hanging out with Lohan to have a fucking chin and if that motherfucker doesn’t have a fucking chin, I expect him to have enough fucking money to buy himself a fucking chin. I met a girl once who worked in a strip club, she was a cuban and had fake tits but didn’t strip. She had a weak chin and it fucked her game, she had everything else going for her. When we would get in fights and she’d call me a fat slob, I’d turn it around and make fun of her chin. That cuban who worked in a strip club but not as a stripper got her new chin and I’d like you to know she’s beautiful now. So there’s no excuse for Lohan’s ugly friends to not do the same motherfucking thing…but then again what do I know, I just write a shitty website. Cuddles.

PS – Lohan may look like a haggard, washed up piece of shit hooker, but I still wouldn’t kick her out of bed for having a herpes outbreak…and her tits could be my friends. I’d take them out to the park with me and drink 40s with them and smoke cheap cigars with them, but that’s not saying much, I’d probably do that with anyone’s tits….Either way, here are them there pics.

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I am not really a looker and that’s okay. I don’t expect the general population to be attractive, but I do expect someone hanging out with Lohan to have a fucking chin and if that motherfucker doesn’t have a fucking chin, I expect him to have enough fucking money to buy himself a fucking chin. I met a girl once who worked in a strip club, she was a cuban and had fake tits but didn’t strip. She had a weak chin and it fucked her game, she had everything else going for her. When we would get in fights and she’d call me a fat slob, I’d turn it around and make fun of her chin. That cuban who worked in a strip club but not as a stripper got her new chin and I’d like you to know she’s beautiful now. So there’s no excuse for Lohan’s ugly friends to not do the same motherfucking thing…but then again what do I know, I just write a shitty website. Cuddles.

PS – Lohan may look like a haggard, washed up piece of shit hooker, but I still wouldn’t kick her out of bed for having a herpes outbreak…and her tits could be my friends. I’d take them out to the park with me and drink 40s with them and smoke cheap cigars with them, but that’s not saying much, I’d probably do that with anyone’s tits….Either way, here are them there pics.

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I feel hungover and I took down my luxurious designer Christmas tree that some bitch in a Range Rover who reads this site gave me after I tried to steal it from her, but got caught cuz I suck at most things I do even stealing Christmas trees. We forgot to water the fucker and the whole back of it was yellow, I couldn’t fit it through my window so I decided to put it in a garbage back…the shit was too big for a garbage bag so I took one of my wife’s dresses, cuz they are big because she is big and tried to wrap it in that…still no luck. I spent 3 hours wrestling with the fucking thing, and ended up using duct tape I had lying around, wrapped it up and moved it out. Now the floor is covered in pine needles like I live in the fucking forest, which would explain the smell of shit that seems to never go away, we found out it was from my wife’s rash….When outside I saw some dude in a fur coat, walking a designer dog, obviously a fag in his 60’s who thought he was fabulous, until I saw him fishing through the garbage checking out some old VCR someone threw out…I guess he wasn’t a fag, he was just insane….

Speaking of insane here are my stepLINKS, Click Them….

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Lohan is dating a black person, which sucks because if I ever get to hang out with her, I won’t be able to make the table laugh for lack of material. I already went through this in my last post, but I’ve never promised you original content, I am all for recycling except when it comes to in the home, because I spent enough time as a janitor to know that I will never stick my hand in the garbage again because I can’t be bothered with saving the world from Global Warming, I have enough problems just paying my rent, trying to save myself from homelessness. I didn’t see that Al Gore movie, so maybe that’s why I am so ignorant, I don’t even realize where I am going with this, I was trying to talk about Lohan and I fucked all this up…..

When I left my house yesterday for the first time in 2007, I was on a mission to find food for the family because I didn’t have anything in my fridge. I didn’t realize that everything was closed on January 1st, other than Lohan’s pussy, which is always open rain or shine. If Lohan’s pussy was a restaurant, I wouldn’t have been walking around for an hour yesterday, either way, this total gaylords walked by me, one was white and the other was as black as they come, I’m talking middle of Africa – Eyes and Teeth kinda black. They were both light in the feet and happy to be alive, I can only assume the AIDs results had come in and they were safe to bareback not that AIDs would have stopped them anyway, I hear fags like to fuck, maybe you’d have better luck fucking dudes than trying to get ladies. Anyway, this GIRC (Gay Inter-Racial-Couple)had other issues in mind, they were talking to each other about how racist people are when they walk around in public together, maybe they were referring to me, but I wasn’t looking at them for being inter-racial, I was looking at them cuz they were faggots. I hope Lohan doesn’t have to face the same social-pressure and wish her luck in her new big cock endeavors. Cuddles.

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I was watching John Ritter’s biography at my neighbor’s house. One of the people they interviewed said that his daughter Stella is going to keep him young because he had her when he was 50, I guess you could say she was wrong. Speaking of wrong, I came across these pictures of some girl named Cassie, I had no idea who she was but Wikipedia taught me proper. She’s a 20 year old R&B singer with a Filipino father and an African-American/Mexican/West Indian mother….which is obviously a pretty good mix because you all want to bang her. Perverts.

I was hanging with some black people at the barber shop near my house the other day and realized that half of my socially awkward book of jokes would have to be censored if I wanted to walk out of there alive. It made me realize that I have no ethnic friends, and the reason is probably because I offend them all before we get a chance to exchange numbers. I’d make that my new year’s resolution, but I already decided that my resolution was to drink and smoke more because it’ll be easier to do and a lot more fun than trying to make myself a better person….I’ve already had about 1/2 the bottle of scotch my Lawyer gave me for 2007 earlier today. I’d say that’s why this post sucks, but there’s probably more to it than that….

I just got a text message from Stavros saying “Happy New Year to you to bro”….He think I am someone he knows and is trying to be polite, I think it could be a good opportunity to take the site to the next level, since he’s a billionaire heir marrying Paris Hilton…

Speaking of sluts, here’s Cassie. PS. I love white bikinis a lot.

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I was watching John Ritter’s biography at my neighbor’s house. One of the people they interviewed said that his daughter Stella is going to keep him young because he had her when he was 50, I guess you could say she was wrong. Speaking of wrong, I came across these pictures of some girl named Cassie, I had no idea who she was but Wikipedia taught me proper. She’s a 20 year old R&B singer with a Filipino father and an African-American/Mexican/West Indian mother….which is obviously a pretty good mix because you all want to bang her. Perverts.

I was hanging with some black people at the barber shop near my house the other day and realized that half of my socially awkward book of jokes would have to be censored if I wanted to walk out of there alive. It made me realize that I have no ethnic friends, and the reason is probably because I offend them all before we get a chance to exchange numbers. I’d make that my new year’s resolution, but I already decided that my resolution was to drink and smoke more because it’ll be easier to do and a lot more fun than trying to make myself a better person….I’ve already had about 1/2 the bottle of scotch my Lawyer gave me for 2007 earlier today. I’d say that’s why this post sucks, but there’s probably more to it than that….

I just got a text message from Stavros saying “Happy New Year to you to bro”….He think I am someone he knows and is trying to be polite, I think it could be a good opportunity to take the site to the next level, since he’s a billionaire heir marrying Paris Hilton…

Speaking of sluts, here’s Cassie. PS. I love white bikinis a lot.

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I am probably the most sexually frustrated internet celebrity, not because I am sex obsessed and impotent and the only naked bitches I get to see are my fat wife and strippers who charge me money I don’t have to grab their fake titties….I am probably the most sexually frustrated internet celebrity because all the other bloggers are virgins, and you can’t miss what you’ve never had….if you’re a virgin and 25, jerking off is your sex, and when that gets boring like fucking your wife night after night for 20 years, you just give it up and focus your energy on celebrity gossip, TV and collecting DVDs. That said, I was talking to some dude who lined up a 3-some on New Years Eve, the very same New Years that these pics of Aguilera were taken, and after he got the girl into his hot tub naked, and after they started making out with each other and sucking on each other’s tits, dude moves in for the hotter girl. Rule number 1 of threesomes is that you focus your energy on the ugly girl, cuz it will make her feel sexy and give the hot one a complex forcing her to put more effort in. Anyway, dude focused on the hot one, the ugly one got jealous and made what could have been potentially an amazing ring in to the New Year, I’m talking better than Ryan Seacrest, if that’s possible, into a jerk off session like you had…

I guess the point of my story is that I have no point, here are the Aguilera pics.

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I am probably the most sexually frustrated internet celebrity, not because I am sex obsessed and impotent and the only naked bitches I get to see are my fat wife and strippers who charge me money I don’t have to grab their fake titties….I am probably the most sexually frustrated internet celebrity because all the other bloggers are virgins, and you can’t miss what you’ve never had….if you’re a virgin and 25, jerking off is your sex, and when that gets boring like fucking your wife night after night for 20 years, you just give it up and focus your energy on celebrity gossip, TV and collecting DVDs. That said, I was talking to some dude who lined up a 3-some on New Years Eve, the very same New Years that these pics of Aguilera were taken, and after he got the girl into his hot tub naked, and after they started making out with each other and sucking on each other’s tits, dude moves in for the hotter girl. Rule number 1 of threesomes is that you focus your energy on the ugly girl, cuz it will make her feel sexy and give the hot one a complex forcing her to put more effort in. Anyway, dude focused on the hot one, the ugly one got jealous and made what could have been potentially an amazing ring in to the New Year, I’m talking better than Ryan Seacrest, if that’s possible, into a jerk off session like you had…

I guess the point of my story is that I have no point, here are the Aguilera pics.

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I spend my life walking around trying to observe as much as I can to bring back to this site and write about, I spent all of last week turned off and life was a lot more fun, because instead of looking for funny and thinking about how I need to remember the funny for the site that never comes across as being as funny in writing, I was living…That said, I have no fucking idea what to write about. I know that I’ve had a lot of good things to tell you fuckers but I just keep forgetting and I don’t think it’s got anything to do with being drunk.

Jessica Alba is probably the hottest celebrity out there, I think she may be a little overrated but her body is solid, her face is nice and she’s banging some dude who isn’t you. So stop fixating your energy on these celebrity sluts, and find a local slut in your hometown who will actually let you bang them…because I am sure every town has it’s own Jessica Alba, not that she’d date you, but at least you can climb up the tree outside her bedroom and watch her shower. Here are the most recent Alba bikini pics in Miami, because celebrities are lazy and like beaches and so do I.

See the HQ pics HERE

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