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I walked by some dude on a patio arguing with the waiter because he ordered Heineken on draft and they served him Heineken in a bottle and he wanted it draft…. If Heineken knew this site existed that product plug would have made me money. I would have charged at least $10 dollars per reader, so I am lookin at the $25 range….I know you don’t care about how I run my business so I am going to stop now, but I would like to give a big thank you to the guy at the local convenience store I go to. He gave me a dented can of chilli and a jar of Dijon mustard. I don’t know what I am going to do with the mustard but that chilli’s go right to my hips. Here are the links of the day….

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Britney Spears had her baby by C-Section at 2 am last night because she didn’t want to destroy her cunt. She wanted to keep it nice and tight for Kevin’s little yet fertile penis. The last thing she’d want to have to deal with his deadbeat father skills and get no sensation from sex with him….Just because Britney looks like she was left in the woods with a 4 year long supply of cake, doesn’t mean she won’t be hot again…This is what MUNG had to say about it….

I seemed to have stirred up a little controversy yesterday with my post about Anna Nicole Smith’s son dying. I guess suicide isn’t funny to you. It’s funny to me, almost as funny as clowns and black stand-up comedians. Anyways, enough about the suicide shit…I decided to lighten things up today and post something positive because Britney Spears popped another soon-to-be drug and alcohol abuser out of her “beaten-up-catcher-mitt” coochie. For those of you who don’t understand what the fuck I just said… the bitch had another kid. We should all celebrate this fact because she said she is going back to her old self and is going to look hot again. If you ask me, she has a lot of fucking ab crunches and squats to do to get rid of the 4 chins the bitch is sportin’. My guess is that she will never go back to looking the way she used to and will probably continue to pop little children out of her axe wound until she suffers from menopause and realizes that the only reason she was put on this planet was to procreate with a wigger and give birth to future welfare cheque collecting drunken stepfathers. That’s my post, that’s how I roll.

I have attached some pictures of things that I thought resembled what Britney Spears vagina looks before and after giving birth. Just post em’

MUNG

Before:

After:

I think Mung was a little off with the before and after pics. I was a good concepty but if I writing this post I would have dropped some hot pics of teen box, the flowers were all right but real hot teen box gets your point across….as for the after pics, I’d find some post pregnancy pics, I’m talking still in the delivery room, gaping and the most damaged. Maybe I am too literal and Mung’s a fucking poet…

Here are some Madonna Pics Since Her Baby Rocco Was Born in the Same Delivery Room as Britney’s Latest STD….

For More Pictures of Sean Preston Lookin’ Out the Hospital Room GO

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Britney Spears had her baby by C-Section at 2 am last night because she didn’t want to destroy her cunt. She wanted to keep it nice and tight for Kevin’s little yet fertile penis. The last thing she’d want to have to deal with his deadbeat father skills and get no sensation from sex with him….Just because Britney looks like she was left in the woods with a 4 year long supply of cake, doesn’t mean she won’t be hot again…This is what MUNG had to say about it….

I seemed to have stirred up a little controversy yesterday with my post about Anna Nicole Smith’s son dying. I guess suicide isn’t funny to you. It’s funny to me, almost as funny as clowns and black stand-up comedians. Anyways, enough about the suicide shit…I decided to lighten things up today and post something positive because Britney Spears popped another soon-to-be drug and alcohol abuser out of her “beaten-up-catcher-mitt” coochie. For those of you who don’t understand what the fuck I just said… the bitch had another kid. We should all celebrate this fact because she said she is going back to her old self and is going to look hot again. If you ask me, she has a lot of fucking ab crunches and squats to do to get rid of the 4 chins the bitch is sportin’. My guess is that she will never go back to looking the way she used to and will probably continue to pop little children out of her axe wound until she suffers from menopause and realizes that the only reason she was put on this planet was to procreate with a wigger and give birth to future welfare cheque collecting drunken stepfathers. That’s my post, that’s how I roll.

I have attached some pictures of things that I thought resembled what Britney Spears vagina looks before and after giving birth. Just post em’

MUNG

Before:

After:

I think Mung was a little off with the before and after pics. I was a good concepty but if I writing this post I would have dropped some hot pics of teen box, the flowers were all right but real hot teen box gets your point across….as for the after pics, I’d find some post pregnancy pics, I’m talking still in the delivery room, gaping and the most damaged. Maybe I am too literal and Mung’s a fucking poet…

Here are some Madonna Pics Since Her Baby Rocco Was Born in the Same Delivery Room as Britney’s Latest STD….

For More Pictures of Sean Preston Lookin’ Out the Hospital Room GO

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This is proof that all it takes to get posted on my site is for you to walk around in a mesh top with a bra/nipple exposed. I have no idea who this british dirtbag is, but I am guessing she’s semi-famous there because she’s on the paparazzi message boards. Either way, I am keeping with my UK theme of the day from Lohan in London, to Beckham in NYC and some no-name Lady Isabella to this. The site’s going down the sewer, something the British never had until recently, toilets used to be buckets in the corner of their bedroom and that’s all I have to say about that.

On a side-note, I fucking hate the pot smoking culture. You smoke pot, we get it. There’s nothing more obnoxious than head shops, decorative bongs, or people with pictures of themselves with bud on myspace. I have nothing against smoking or drugs and I like to think I encourage all forms of drug use, I just have something against people trying to show it off to come across as being “cool” or because they have nothing going on in their lives. There’s nothing wrong with identifying yourself as a drug user, but when it becomes all you talk about – it gets boring..especially when your stories start of like this “I smoked 8 joints, drank 14 beers and ripped a 40 bag it was so crazy….” I don’t care about how many lines it took you to do whatever it is that you did…I just want to see the pictures of the girls who you got in mesh shirts/showing off their nipples and their bras like this cunt Javine.

If that wasn’t enough post for you, here’s the weirdest stepCOMMENT of the day….

Interesting, but navigation system is a little bit confusing
Don?t walk behind me, I may not lead. Don?t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.
Take care of it and keep it on the road!
Interesting, but navigation system is a little bit confusing
This is a cool site! Thanks and wish you better luck! Brilliant but simple idea.

Here are some Pot Myspace Profile that I hate:

Miss Hightimes 2006
GO

NORML – National Organization of Reformed Marijuana Laws
GO

420 Bros Make Decorative Bongs
GO

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This is proof that all it takes to get posted on my site is for you to walk around in a mesh top with a bra/nipple exposed. I have no idea who this british dirtbag is, but I am guessing she’s semi-famous there because she’s on the paparazzi message boards. Either way, I am keeping with my UK theme of the day from Lohan in London, to Beckham in NYC and some no-name Lady Isabella to this. The site’s going down the sewer, something the British never had until recently, toilets used to be buckets in the corner of their bedroom and that’s all I have to say about that.

On a side-note, I fucking hate the pot smoking culture. You smoke pot, we get it. There’s nothing more obnoxious than head shops, decorative bongs, or people with pictures of themselves with bud on myspace. I have nothing against smoking or drugs and I like to think I encourage all forms of drug use, I just have something against people trying to show it off to come across as being “cool” or because they have nothing going on in their lives. There’s nothing wrong with identifying yourself as a drug user, but when it becomes all you talk about – it gets boring..especially when your stories start of like this “I smoked 8 joints, drank 14 beers and ripped a 40 bag it was so crazy….” I don’t care about how many lines it took you to do whatever it is that you did…I just want to see the pictures of the girls who you got in mesh shirts/showing off their nipples and their bras like this cunt Javine.

If that wasn’t enough post for you, here’s the weirdest stepCOMMENT of the day….

Interesting, but navigation system is a little bit confusing
DonÂ’t walk behind me, I may not lead. DonÂ’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.
Take care of it and keep it on the road!
Interesting, but navigation system is a little bit confusing
This is a cool site! Thanks and wish you better luck! Brilliant but simple idea.

Here are some Pot Myspace Profile that I hate:

Miss Hightimes 2006
GO

NORML – National Organization of Reformed Marijuana Laws
GO

420 Bros Make Decorative Bongs
GO

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So I am posting pictures of some random UK Socialite who was on some UK Reality TV show called Celebrity Love Island. The reason I am posting her pictures are to compliment this amazing email that I got:

Dear Jesus,

I figure you are the only one I can talk to about this as you are the dirtiest motherfucker out there and even you wont judge me for this. Anyway as a kid I never knew my mother she ran off when I was 3 and never told us where she went, So my Dad raised me he was pretty cool and tought me everything I know.

I’ve had this girl that I’ve been fucking for about a year we will call her Annie she is real hot. This girl loves me but she isnt really girlfriend material although I dont think any woman is at this point, a great lay none the less. I have fucked this girl every way you can think of; she is ultra dirty. she lives in the same apartment building as me which makes it even more convenient.

One night I went home and ran into annie in the hall. She was more than willing to have me over. After fucking the life out of her she passed out. I decided to take a look around her place, because I had only been there a few times. We usually hooked up at my place because she had a roomate. Anyway, I went to her vanity and looked at some pictures.

I saw one of her family and moved in for a closer look and there in the picture giving her a big hug was her mother who also happened to be that bitch of whore who looked a lot like my deadbeat mother, I had a double take for a moment but I could never forget what she looked like, I mean she was older but it was definatly her. You can imagine the shock that just came over me at this point. Not only had I found my long lost mother who I have hated for leaving us but I also just fucked the shit out of my sister. As you can imagine I had some conflicting emotions. I picked up my gear and went back to my place to drink myself stupid.

I didnt know what to do about this I felt like a piece of garbage. But in the midst of all that self hatred I was suddenly hit with a fantastic idea. The best idea Ive ever had.

So, the next day I went to see Annie and asked if she wanted to go on a date, she looked confused at first as I had always avoided doing anything with that didnt invole my penis. I swore I was serious she was excited to say the least. A few weeks down the line she brought me to meet her family, Are you starting to catch on, I went into her house I wasnt sure if Mom would recognize me. When I walked in I introduced myself and she looked at me funny, she mentioned that I did look familiar but Im sure she couldnt place it.
As the night went on and I told her family more and more about me and my family Mom screamed out and there was a silence in the room. She looked right at me and asked me my last name. I told her with a big smile, her face dropped but she didnt say anything at that time. Later that night she confronted me in the kitchen. I simply laughed at her and told her if she didnt want her new family to know the truth she would have to pay in the meantime I would break off my relationship with her daughter/my sister haha. she agreed, since then I have paid off all my school loans and bought a new car. Last month I decided she put more hurt on me as a kid so I sent childhood pictures of myself with Mom to her whole family with a letter explaining what had happened.

I knew you the stepfather could appreciate this story.
Vic

See I figured I needed to post pictures of known groups of incestuous people, like the Royal Family and the Jews. I realize now that being a Lady doesn’t make you part of the Royal family – so all this makes really no sense. I hope you read that email. It was a good fucking story by my standards, and I have no standards. Cuddles.

Bonus – Same Bitch at the Airport. Her 5 minutes are up:

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So I am posting pictures of some random UK Socialite who was on some UK Reality TV show called Celebrity Love Island. The reason I am posting her pictures are to compliment this amazing email that I got:

Dear Jesus,

I figure you are the only one I can talk to about this as you are the dirtiest motherfucker out there and even you wont judge me for this. Anyway as a kid I never knew my mother she ran off when I was 3 and never told us where she went, So my Dad raised me he was pretty cool and tought me everything I know.

I’ve had this girl that I’ve been fucking for about a year we will call her Annie she is real hot. This girl loves me but she isnt really girlfriend material although I dont think any woman is at this point, a great lay none the less. I have fucked this girl every way you can think of; she is ultra dirty. she lives in the same apartment building as me which makes it even more convenient.

One night I went home and ran into annie in the hall. She was more than willing to have me over. After fucking the life out of her she passed out. I decided to take a look around her place, because I had only been there a few times. We usually hooked up at my place because she had a roomate. Anyway, I went to her vanity and looked at some pictures.

I saw one of her family and moved in for a closer look and there in the picture giving her a big hug was her mother who also happened to be that bitch of whore who looked a lot like my deadbeat mother, I had a double take for a moment but I could never forget what she looked like, I mean she was older but it was definatly her. You can imagine the shock that just came over me at this point. Not only had I found my long lost mother who I have hated for leaving us but I also just fucked the shit out of my sister. As you can imagine I had some conflicting emotions. I picked up my gear and went back to my place to drink myself stupid.

I didnt know what to do about this I felt like a piece of garbage. But in the midst of all that self hatred I was suddenly hit with a fantastic idea. The best idea Ive ever had.

So, the next day I went to see Annie and asked if she wanted to go on a date, she looked confused at first as I had always avoided doing anything with that didnt invole my penis. I swore I was serious she was excited to say the least. A few weeks down the line she brought me to meet her family, Are you starting to catch on, I went into her house I wasnt sure if Mom would recognize me. When I walked in I introduced myself and she looked at me funny, she mentioned that I did look familiar but Im sure she couldnt place it.
As the night went on and I told her family more and more about me and my family Mom screamed out and there was a silence in the room. She looked right at me and asked me my last name. I told her with a big smile, her face dropped but she didnt say anything at that time. Later that night she confronted me in the kitchen. I simply laughed at her and told her if she didnt want her new family to know the truth she would have to pay in the meantime I would break off my relationship with her daughter/my sister haha. she agreed, since then I have paid off all my school loans and bought a new car. Last month I decided she put more hurt on me as a kid so I sent childhood pictures of myself with Mom to her whole family with a letter explaining what had happened.

I knew you the stepfather could appreciate this story.
Vic

See I figured I needed to post pictures of known groups of incestuous people, like the Royal Family and the Jews. I realize now that being a Lady doesn’t make you part of the Royal family – so all this makes really no sense. I hope you read that email. It was a good fucking story by my standards, and I have no standards. Cuddles.

Bonus – Same Bitch at the Airport. Her 5 minutes are up:

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I posted on David Beckham’s Mistress Yesterday Now I will Post His Wife: I don’t really give a fuck about UK celebrities, or any celebrities for that matter, I post this shit to get traffic, but there’s something about Posh spice that I can’t get enough of. I think it’s funny to see a Spice Girl 6 years after I used to rub one out to the “I tell you what I want, What I really really want” Video. That was before the fat wife and before the impotency. Speaking of not fucking your wife, this bitch married a homosexual to help cover-up his homosexuality, had his babies through artificial insemination because gays are scared of babies and box, in exchange for fame and fortune and a life of luxury that will last much longer than her SpiceMoney. The arrogance in her strut proves that she knows she will never have to pretend to sing shitty songs again and all she has to do for work is help some national soccer hero keep up appearance.

I know everyone out there rips into bitch for being a skeleton or an alien and I am sure lame bloggers like Trerez Pinkilton is the New I Take It Up the Ass Raw Dog While on a Crystal Meth Binge have some lame nickname for her like they Brangelina, Vaughiston and Bennifer but I am out of the loop on gay celebrity blogger cliches. So I’ll just call her sunshine face of love.

Speaking of terms of endearment, this is the myspace message I’ve been sending out to girls lately:

Body: Dear ___________,
You’re ___________ to me–there’s no one quite like you. You’re the one I _____, the one I want to ________. I give you my _______, and I ________ you so much. Give me your sweet _________; fill me with your wonderful _______; soothe my aching _______; and _______ me through the night. The mere sound of your voice summons deep ________ within Like an old familiar ________ like the comfort of a _______. When you’re near, I’m lost to thoughts of ______ as you touch me with a _______ that’s as grand as stars above. I want to hold your _____. I hunger for your ______. Offer me sweet tidings of true love’s tender bliss. I promise our _______ shall _____, carried on the wings of a ______. So give me your _______, and bless me with your _____.

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

It hasn’t been getting any responses….

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