I don’t know if it is Sarah Hyland’s genetic condition, you know the one that took out her kidneys like she was Selena Gomez, but I do know that I a freaked the fuck out by Sarah Hyland….

She looked like a 7 year old and a 97 year old at the same fucking time before figuring out that she’s a sexual being who masturbates and fucks gay dudes who are with her for the celebrity clout, and all of a sudden she started posing up racier and racier content. You know being naughty on the internet is thrilling, exhilerating, arousing, exciting, especially when you’re famous and love attention…

So seeing her in her bikini in Cabo, you know super fucking scared of COVID despite her diseases she plays up since it took out her kidneys…so she’s on a boat in a white bikini, which is a pervert favorite cuz you can see through them when they are wet, doesn’t excite me…even though it’s a famous girl in a bikini in Cabo giving the finger to COVID despite being immuno deficient because she’s rich and famous and COVID doesn’t get in their way….

This is some throw in the towel, I look like a crackwhore, while having a boat party with 30 people, during a pandemic, cuz I am dying…shit…I mean she looks bad…

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I just saw a 40 year old mom with a hot fat fit booty in leggings despite being old….like it is the holy grail because it goes against all logic….40 year old moms in leggings shouldn’t have hot asses but it does happen….it is a Christmas miracle….especially since I generally don’t see anyone….maybe Santa was looking out for me….or maybe I am just an easy to please pervert. Plus, I know when the leggings come off, it is still mom pussy, but for the sake of staying positive….40 year old moms can have good asses too….

Here are some stepLINKS….

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I think it’s funny that no one understands that this site is a parody of all those fanboy sites that existed all those years ago….I would come across them and laugh at how virginal and desperate the writers were. I was like “this is some INCEL shit” before INCELS were even a thing, you know before they were out there driving vans into people in Toronto, or shooting up bars in California…the INCEL was just a socially awkward, friendless, loser who was scared to live….but who would collect UNDERWORLD DVDs and write about how hot a celeb is….

SO I said, wouldn’t it be funny to make fun of those virgin losers by doing the same kind of thing, but instead of praising the celebs they fantasize about, tear them down because the hooker down the street who may be 300 pounds and who may smell like a mix of feces, vinegar and AIDS, is far more interesting because at least you can get her to eat your asshole….plus celebs are overrated pieces of shit who don’t have talent and who are basically just fucking lies…so celebrating them like a 12 year old seeing his first set of tits made no sense to me….

The whole idea was to make fun of fan boys, while making fun of their celebrities, but instead, I just come across as an angry fan boy…and that’s too bad.

I should work on my satire, on my devlivery, walk you through the jokes, but why bother, I’ll just post links…

Here are some stepLINKS…

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Salma Hayek is a very important set of tits that first entered our lives in the 90s and reminded us that Mexico is not just filled with neckless Mayans who work at the tortilla stand, but rather a developed country that has people of all levels of hotness, as most developed countries do….

The tanned skinned, probably rich kid, turned Hollywood Starlet that is now married to a billionaire that we’ll assume is the bottom in this picture….has been consistent about one thing all these years…the tits…

IN a lot of ways, she probably paved the way from other latin women with huge tits, like Sofia Vergara….by reminding them that America loves big fucking tits more than their tribe does, even though their tribe loves big tits, because they look like they can feed the village….

I used to know a black guy who would turn his back on any black strippers because he felt they were doing what was expected of them, instead of elevating their people by not stripping, I do not have the same approach with Mexican women when they are hot…even when old…like this.

The original pic had her kid on her shoulders, but I couldn’t let the titties go to waste so I spent 9 hours of graphic design work making this magic happen…all for the big rich famous mom titties….I am that committed to the cause.

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When you see a lockdown critic get arrested for not respecting lockdown over a virus with a 99.999% survival rate…..you kinda start believing the conspiracy theories they try to play off as bullshit when in reality they are very real….FEMA CAMPS here we come…welcome to the New World…

Bear Jumps on Car…

REPO FAIL…

Dump Truck Fail

Boating Fail..

Self Parking Fail

Mayhem at the Salon

Booty Catfish….

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Lindsey Shaw is some now 31 year old who got her start when she was 15 or 16 on some Nickelodeon series you probably watched and not because you were 10, but because you are a predator or at least a weirdo….I don’t know any of these shitty kids shows but I do know anyone who has sat through any of them is the weirdest kind of pervert because no only are they into the actresses, but they actually sit through shitty programming to see the actresses, like pull up a google image search you masochist freak…then there’s the whole team of people who produce these shows, direct these shows, film these shows, write these shows….it’s a whole operation and procedure to produce such dog shit…

Since Nickelodeon she’s been on some CW show that got cancelled, she got on Pretty Little Liars, which was a big show and maybe why she’s got the 400k followers….and based on her instagram sleaze, we call it the last ditch effort…it’s safe to assume she’s forgotten, lacks management, needs help…..especially with her captions…

In an attempt to make her instagram sleaze seem more comedic and less desperate she wrote this caption that made me gag…

If the theme is to be hot, let’s own that because talking about smelling your own ass attracts the wrong kind of attention from the very wrong kind of people but she is already used to that thanks to her humble child star beginnings..that were actually, in hindsight, her peak, not her start….all down hill from here!

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Tamara Thorne is Bella Thorne’s Florida Trash mom that you know did whatever it took to get her kids famous….after the dad died, the boyfriend sexually assaulted her kids, possibly for pay, because that’s how opportunists work…they do what they can to get by, they kill to get their dreams, and clearly their kid’s well being was never on the fucking list of things that are important…when you’re a shitty stage parent, you’re a shitty stage parent who doesn’t give a fuck about their kids, instead they care about the glory…

I guess it worked out for them on some level, Bella did end up on Disney where she was able to build that audience that she’s got now…all she had to do was use basic influencer tactics from share for share with other sluts, hanging out with other influencers, then the whole scandalous, salacious, slutty, shameless content where people go nuts cuz DISNEY GIRLS aren’t trained for that, well they are when their mom grooms them to be whores, and when they now have Disney training to whore RIGHT…

So I guess it’s not surprising that the mom is on ONly Fans, like the daughter is, only you’d think at her age she’d have some money to not need to do an Only Fans, but then again Bella Thorne isn’t 18 nad mom’s not stealing her money, so she’s gotta pay the bills…plus certain exhibitionist narcissists who would whore out their own kids, get off on whoring themselves out…It’s all pretty shit..

What makes it less shit, or I guess MORE shit, is that she photoshops her titty scars out of it, because these fuckers are MANGLED>

IF you’re a sick fuck and a loser….you can sign up to her only fans…suckers are out there paying these idiots…so it could be you!

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Christina Milian is in her 40s, is a mom of 2 but is still being a slut on the internet despite having a pile of money because either she’s addicted to relevance, those likes and follows give her a little tickle in her naughty parts that may be callused and half dead based on overuse over the years, so a tickle down there feels good….or she’s addicted to the money she makes…despite having a lot of money….you can never have enough money when you’ve got no fucking soul…or she’s just got nothing better to do and it requires little to no effort to do these photoshoots where she gets to play dress up and feel like she’s not dead yet….

The one hit wonder only became a one hit wonder thanks to a racy music video where she was rolling around in the mud I think, I don’t really remember, but I know it was one of those music videos you liked having on rotation for when you had nothing but MTV to jerk off to. Pre-Internet cuz bitch is that old….

I remember when she first got on instagram and had basically no followers, was doing no work, but still got her residuals from co-writing songs like “BABY” by Bieber and other hits…and for whatever reason, one I call showing her tits off like some 20 year old party girl despite being near 40s…really gave her low level celebrity another run in an era where ALL celebrity is low level…

So this is her campaign for a brand…tits out, trying to be masturbation fodder, despite being in her 40s…so I suggest finding younger versions of Milian, because doing this at her age is funny as a joke once in a while,but when it’s the whole angle it shows a lack of innovation since old bitches shouldn’t be acting like young bitches…and if you don’t believe me, ask their uterine lining, that shit’s DEAD…and so should their sex appeal.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

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