Yesterday was the day of dance. We went to a dance recital, where we were asked if we were picking up kids 12 years old and younger….where I answered “obviously”….anyway after sitting through that dance recital we decided to make a day out of dance. We ended up at the movies where we saw Stick It and got a ton of dirty looks from the ppl in the theatre, because we weren’t 14 year old girls, and I really only did it to get kicked out of the place, thought it’d be funnier to write about getting busted sneaking into Stick It than sitting through the whole thing. Luckily, after every 14 year old instinctively avoided our row of seats some girl about my age sat next to me, I look up, obviously she’s someone I know, making the whole experience a fucking cliche/sitcom situation, that I guess really happen. We ended the night at the strippers and the girl Mya I feel in love recognized me from the last time I was there, where I gave her costume advice, telling her that she’d make more money in a bikini than stripper gear….Point of the story is Denise Richards is wearing a bikini and although lookin’ good is covering up her stretch marked belly, something I wish one of the Goth dancers last night did before showing me her tackle box (pierced 10 times) while dancing to German death metal. It’s bed time.

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I love how the websites I rip this shit off of think that seeing any girl in a bikini is a treat. Like it’s fucking Christmas or something. Let’s all go crazy over that bitch we saw in that movie cuz she is in a BIKINI because bikinis mean seeing lots more skin then the last set of paparazzi pics I saw of her shopping…. It’s like they sit at home all day and night, alone. It’s like they don’t get any pussy so they turn to the internet and fantasize about slamming girls they see in their favorite movies (Spiderman). I’d say it’s sad, but it really isn’t, if everyone had the skills to find pussy, the world would be way over-populated, we need the suicidal losers to help the whole ecosystem. And let’s face it – we’d all fuck Dunst even though she’s like a busted old pick up truck.

I do live in Canada though, and bitches here are too fat to wear bikinis, so when I see them (in person) I take a closer look, you know, lookin’ for a little nipple and a little camel toe. But the only time I see bikinis is in the strip club, which I have been to the last 3 days in a row, we are doing a StepExperiment. Last night, I fell in love with a French girl whose stripper name was Mya, real name Samantha. She kept shoving her nipple in my mouth, and even though I knew how many hands had touched those nipples, I couldn’t help but go along with it, because of the whole falling in love thing I mentioned. I blame the booze.

Bonus: THE ACTION SHOT

Bonus: Dunst Lookin Like a Retard

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I love how the websites I rip this shit off of think that seeing any girl in a bikini is a treat. Like it’s fucking Christmas or something. Let’s all go crazy over that bitch we saw in that movie cuz she is in a BIKINI because bikinis mean seeing lots more skin then the last set of paparazzi pics I saw of her shopping…. It’s like they sit at home all day and night, alone. It’s like they don’t get any pussy so they turn to the internet and fantasize about slamming girls they see in their favorite movies (Spiderman). I’d say it’s sad, but it really isn’t, if everyone had the skills to find pussy, the world would be way over-populated, we need the suicidal losers to help the whole ecosystem. And let’s face it – we’d all fuck Dunst even though she’s like a busted old pick up truck.

I do live in Canada though, and bitches here are too fat to wear bikinis, so when I see them (in person) I take a closer look, you know, lookin’ for a little nipple and a little camel toe. But the only time I see bikinis is in the strip club, which I have been to the last 3 days in a row, we are doing a StepExperiment. Last night, I fell in love with a French girl whose stripper name was Mya, real name Samantha. She kept shoving her nipple in my mouth, and even though I knew how many hands had touched those nipples, I couldn’t help but go along with it, because of the whole falling in love thing I mentioned. I blame the booze.

Bonus: THE ACTION SHOT

Bonus: Dunst Lookin Like a Retard

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So these are pics of Heidi Klum post pregancy and she looks bangin’ compared to that fat slob of a woman Carnie Wilson. I’d link it, but it’s 2 posts down, and if you can’t scroll down 2 posts, you don’t deserve to my help. What you do deserve is to be reminded that Heidi Klum is married to a black man with a mangled face, someone who she would never be with if he wasn’t who he was or as rich as he is. So the life advice of the day is that if you want to have sex with hot woman and you don’t have model looks on your side, you have 2 options. The first is to hit up the gym and get a body they see in magazines, because no matter what you have in the bank or where you live, girls will want to fuck you cuz you look like the guys they fantasize about. The other option is to find fame and fortune, because as Heidi and Seal prove, you can have half a face and still own the hottest pussy in town….I never said my lesson was one you didn’t already know…

Bonus: Other Pictures

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So these are pics of Heidi Klum post pregancy and she looks bangin’ compared to that fat slob of a woman Carnie Wilson. I’d link it, but it’s 2 posts down, and if you can’t scroll down 2 posts, you don’t deserve to my help. What you do deserve is to be reminded that Heidi Klum is married to a black man with a mangled face, someone who she would never be with if he wasn’t who he was or as rich as he is. So the life advice of the day is that if you want to have sex with hot woman and you don’t have model looks on your side, you have 2 options. The first is to hit up the gym and get a body they see in magazines, because no matter what you have in the bank or where you live, girls will want to fuck you cuz you look like the guys they fantasize about. The other option is to find fame and fortune, because as Heidi and Seal prove, you can have half a face and still own the hottest pussy in town….I never said my lesson was one you didn’t already know…

Bonus: Other Pictures

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Carmen Electra is one of those girls that you want to dis but there is really nothing about them that annoys you, other than the fact that she is a huge cocktease. She looks good, she’s in shape and she knows she’s a d-lister. She does infomercials, striptease aerobic DVDs, shitty MTV shows and the odd acting job and looks good doing it. She knows she’s useless and that her tits and ass have got her to where she is and I can’t really dis her for that. If I had my way all the girls I ever associate with or have to see would be bomb hot. I figured out a long time ago, that all bitches have issues and take effort, so if you’re going to be putting up with shit and investing energy, it might as well be to get shit thrown at you by a hot bodied girl than some fat nasty bitch…..Carmen Electra may tease all our cocks, but I’d rather be getting my cock teased by her, than actually getting pussy from a Carnie Wilson grade slag…That’s my story. Did you like it? You fuckin’ dirtbag.

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Carmen Electra is one of those girls that you want to dis but there is really nothing about them that annoys you, other than the fact that she is a huge cocktease. She looks good, she’s in shape and she knows she’s a d-lister. She does infomercials, striptease aerobic DVDs, shitty MTV shows and the odd acting job and looks good doing it. She knows she’s useless and that her tits and ass have got her to where she is and I can’t really dis her for that. If I had my way all the girls I ever associate with or have to see would be bomb hot. I figured out a long time ago, that all bitches have issues and take effort, so if you’re going to be putting up with shit and investing energy, it might as well be to get shit thrown at you by a hot bodied girl than some fat nasty bitch…..Carmen Electra may tease all our cocks, but I’d rather be getting my cock teased by her, than actually getting pussy from a Carnie Wilson grade slag…That’s my story. Did you like it? You fuckin’ dirtbag.

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I am not good with distinguishing different shades of brown, but I think the bitch with the stroller is some kind of Filipino nanny. Proving that Carnie is the fat lazy cunt we all knew she was. I assume none of you know or care about this bitch, but she was the fat one in Wilson Phillips, the hottest band for chicks (and closet cased poofters) in the 90’s. Anyway, she’s one of those slobs that 90 percent of you Fat Americans associate with, because she had gastric bipass surgery on the internet and lost 100 pounds, because bitch couldn’t figure out how the trendmill worked, she was too busy eating cookies. Lucky for us, her pregnancy let her hit the cookie jar again, eating for 2 was a good excuse to go nuts on it. Now she’s really inflated and built likeKool Aid….I am sure her husbands really happy about all this.

BONUS

Carnie Wilson Posed Nude for Playboy!

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I am not good with distinguishing different shades of brown, but I think the bitch with the stroller is some kind of Filipino nanny. Proving that Carnie is the fat lazy cunt we all knew she was. I assume none of you know or care about this bitch, but she was the fat one in Wilson Phillips, the hottest band for chicks (and closet cased poofters) in the 90’s. Anyway, she’s one of those slobs that 90 percent of you Fat Americans associate with, because she had gastric bipass surgery on the internet and lost 100 pounds, because bitch couldn’t figure out how the trendmill worked, she was too busy eating cookies. Lucky for us, her pregnancy let her hit the cookie jar again, eating for 2 was a good excuse to go nuts on it. Now she’s really inflated and built likeKool Aid….I am sure her husbands really happy about all this.

BONUS

Carnie Wilson Posed Nude for Playboy!

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I went to the strippers again last night. That made for 2 nights in a row at the same bar. I saw a few of the same strippers including the bitch I called table scarps on Thursday. I found out her name is destiny, and I love the fact that she rocks a Roxy Bikini and not a trashy stripper outfit, but I don’t like the fact that she cant’s dance and has a dumpy ass. I also saw Drea the stripper who fucked me over in a lap dance by telling me that we’d make out in the booth 3 weeks ago and ended up trying to charge me for 4 songs that she used to talk about her life, her dad and her mother’s cancer, all while wearing clothes. I know cancer is fuckin’ sexy, but only while I have a set of tits in my hand. We were seated far back in the club and all the bitches looked hot from where we were….all you see is nakedness and seemingly nice ass. At the end of the night we hit up Pervert’s Row, and realized all the bitches we thought were hot, were the busted up old cars we knew they would turn out to be. Point of the story is the lookin at someone from far is always good, because you don’t dwell on their imperfections, cuz we’ve all got them, just look at Alyssa Milano’s arms…..they are fuckin’ hairy and as much as I love bush and imperfections, I know that someone on TV shouldn’t have any. Sort that shit out bitch.

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