Since Uma and Ethan broke up due to coke induced sessions with a 20 year old slut from Montreal, Ethan Hawke’s still working the scene. The only problem is that the only girl who cares about him is a 7 year old, and I don’t think she’s with him for his celebrity status, she’s probably lured in by the puppy. The dog is a pedophiles best pickin’ up tool, cuz what kid doesn’t like to pet a little puppy. Lucky for Ethan, as a celebrity, he can sleep with whoever you want, even get busted for this kind of illegal shit, or even like tranny whores and little boys, and still get away with it. It just takes a little bit of money. I don’t mean to offend anyone by calling Ethan Hawke a celebrity.

Just because I am the DrunkenStepfather, does not mean that I am into this shit, I just call it how I see it, I would only sleep with an underage girl if the bitch was mute or retarded and wouldn’t be able to tell on me, and by underage I am talking 16 not 7. Either way, both girls will end up with the same issues in therapy, like a fear of penis and low self esteem. Unless you stick to the retards, because they don’t know what the fuck’s going on and the only kind of therapy they get is physio to learn how to walk normal. Don’t be offended, I am not the person who invented retards.

Do you think less of me? That’s probably a good thing, I have been trying to end this relationship for months. I don’t like hanging with losers, and I am embarassed to bring you out with me.

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I was never a fan of Chris Farley, I think dude deserved to die, being that fat and jacked on coke is bound to make your heart explode. But that’s got nothing to do with Nicolette Sheridan in her bikini, other than the fact that she was his leading lady in Beverly Hills Ninja, probably a high-point in both their careers, actually it proabably was in Nicolette’s, she’s been in many useless movies and Desperate Housewives is her meal ticket, you know riding high, playing the hot slut, washing her car in short-schwartz, seducing the middle aged men with her middle-aged cooter

I am generally into younger girls. After looking at these pics, I can spot the flaws, but some nights I go to bed knowing that I’d fuck the jar of peanut butter, if I could afford to replace it. My wife would go crazy if she opened up the the Jiffy first thing in the morning, before her busy day of lying on the couch doing nothing, only to find it that it was raped by me. So who the fuck am I, to be picky. That said – I would still do Nicolette and her 42 year old cooter.

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I was talking a 19 year old lesbian, actually she’s not fully lesbian she has had penis once but I don’t think she liked it, it probably messed up her hair and makeup or someshit. She’s a little high-maintenance and cock just gets in the way of looking pretty. So I’m talking to this lesbian who hasn’t realized she’s a lesbian yet, and she’s telling me about modern etiquette, that involves ripping lines of cocaine off the toilet seat at high profile clubs and ditching your classically trained Opera career, where you were once thought of as a child prodigy, to dress up in lingerie and dance around like your were Kelly Clarkson.

Charlotte Church says goodbye to culture and sluts it up like every good girl should.

Check Out Video Here via ThighGuy

In other news, her Daddy just wants to get to know his little girl.

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I was talking a 19 year old lesbian, actually she’s not fully lesbian she has had penis once but I don’t think she liked it, it probably messed up her hair and makeup or someshit. She’s a little high-maintenance and cock just gets in the way of looking pretty. So I’m talking to this lesbian who hasn’t realized she’s a lesbian yet, and she’s telling me about modern etiquette, that involves ripping lines of cocaine off the toilet seat at high profile clubs and ditching your classically trained Opera career, where you were once thought of as a child prodigy, to dress up in lingerie and dance around like your were Kelly Clarkson.

Charlotte Church says goodbye to culture and sluts it up like every good girl should.

Check Out Video Here via ThighGuy

In other news, her Daddy just wants to get to know his little girl.

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When I think of England, I always think of beaches, cuz the country is known for sunny weather, oceanview and sand in your underwear. The British are known for their tanned surfing bodies and their dominance in all watersports. That’s why when I found out that Liz Hurley launched a swimwear line called “Beach”, I wasn’t the least bit surprised, seeing as she comes from England. I will not argue that she looks good for a 50 year old, and I will not argue that Hugh Grant got busted with a tranny whore while with her, but I will argue that she lacks creativity, calling swimwear “Beach” is as obnoxious as naming it “Bathing Suit” Now, I don’t fully have a problem with a bathing suit brand called “Beach”, I am poor and do everything generic, I can’t afford the big brand names. I am sure this is gonna be HUGE at K-Mart, right next to Kathly Lee Gifford’s lingerie line,

Go To Mr Skin to See More of Liz Hurley’s Skin

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When I think of England, I always think of beaches, cuz the country is known for sunny weather, oceanview and sand in your underwear. The British are known for their tanned surfing bodies and their dominance in all watersports. That’s why when I found out that Liz Hurley launched a swimwear line called “Beach”, I wasn’t the least bit surprised, seeing as she comes from England. I will not argue that she looks good for a 50 year old, and I will not argue that Hugh Grant got busted with a tranny whore while with her, but I will argue that she lacks creativity, calling swimwear “Beach” is as obnoxious as naming it “Bathing Suit” Now, I don’t fully have a problem with a bathing suit brand called “Beach”, I am poor and do everything generic, I can’t afford the big brand names. I am sure this is gonna be HUGE at K-Mart, right next to Kathly Lee Gifford’s lingerie line,

Go To Mr Skin to See More of Liz Hurley’s Skin

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I would hate to get caught in a leg-lock from the ever-big breasted cuz she’s fat, Kirstie Alley, because those motherfuckers are massive and being caught under the weight, while choking on the fat is not really the way I wanna die. I am not gonna get all morbid, and I will focus on the ray of sunshine after the storm in this pic, and that is Kirstie’s son, who may not be toting a rainbow flag just yet, but his girlie hair and Rod Stewart t-shirt is enough for us to know that he’s discovering himself sexually to pics of Malcom in the Middle.

See Kirstie Alley Naked at Mr Skin Before she was FAT

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I would hate to get caught in a leg-lock from the ever-big breasted cuz she’s fat, Kirstie Alley, because those motherfuckers are massive and being caught under the weight, while choking on the fat is not really the way I wanna die. I am not gonna get all morbid, and I will focus on the ray of sunshine after the storm in this pic, and that is Kirstie’s son, who may not be toting a rainbow flag just yet, but his girlie hair and Rod Stewart t-shirt is enough for us to know that he’s discovering himself sexually to pics of Malcom in the Middle.

See Kirstie Alley Naked at Mr Skin Before she was FAT

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