Lesbian’s are people too, not necessarily people I want to hang out with, cuz they hate my dick, but according to some human rights bullshit, they are allowed to live normal lives. Rumor is they dress like men, look like men and love eating pussy all fucking day. I guess that’s until it’s time to pay the bills, and that’s when lesbians are put to work, the fun can’t last forever you sexual deviant. So put on your combat boots, you baggy jeans and botton-up shirt, make sure your hair is nice and short, strap down your tits, as to not give any straight man the wrong idea, but keep your earings in to maintain a little feminity, get in your car, and drive Salma around, cuz Mister, you’re not only our lesbian, you’re also Salma Hayek’s Lesbian driver, and not only did Salma play a lesbian in that art movie, she also employs them in real life. I am sure it’s some work program shit, like Big Brothers of America, only for bull dykes. For the record, I have turned girl’s lesbian, but never turned lesbians from the ‘Giner.

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I am keeping this shit classy with the underage girls today. It’s a great way to get the FBI on my ass for an investigation, it’s okay, I am always looking for new friends, and the interrogation room is a lot like a speed dating session, or the opening scene of a porno movie, and I love feeling glamorous like one of the actors in the opening scene of a porno, but that’s not the point. The point is that I do not even like underage bitches, even when they have more money than me or a knocked up sister. I like to stick with the over 20 crowd, usually pretty down on their luck and desperate for a home cooked dinner and shower, that’s what happens when you hang at the homeless shelter, lots of prospects, not that you would know hiding fromt he world in your your lonely, one room apartment that you haven’t left for 6 days, used up kleenex scattered across the floor with the smell of fresh feces eminating from your pants, only because you are too much of a slob to get up and shit….again not the point. The point is that either Jamie Lynn has hit puberty, bitch is getting fat, or is pregnant with K-Fed’s baby, cuz she’s getting titties and she’s not ashamed to show them….she’s not really a looker so when her career fizzles up and dies, and her money’s spent on a brand new trailer for her family of 10, I will definitely approach her to star in one of my movies. Get this, the opening scene takes place in an FBI interrogation room. That’s a book ending bitch. Look it up.

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Since Uma and Ethan broke up due to coke induced sessions with a 20 year old slut from Montreal, Ethan Hawke’s still working the scene. The only problem is that the only girl who cares about him is a 7 year old, and I don’t think she’s with him for his celebrity status, she’s probably lured in by the puppy. The dog is a pedophiles best pickin’ up tool, cuz what kid doesn’t like to pet a little puppy. Lucky for Ethan, as a celebrity, he can sleep with whoever you want, even get busted for this kind of illegal shit, or even like tranny whores and little boys, and still get away with it. It just takes a little bit of money. I don’t mean to offend anyone by calling Ethan Hawke a celebrity.

Just because I am the DrunkenStepfather, does not mean that I am into this shit, I just call it how I see it, I would only sleep with an underage girl if the bitch was mute or retarded and wouldn’t be able to tell on me, and by underage I am talking 16 not 7. Either way, both girls will end up with the same issues in therapy, like a fear of penis and low self esteem. Unless you stick to the retards, because they don’t know what the fuck’s going on and the only kind of therapy they get is physio to learn how to walk normal. Don’t be offended, I am not the person who invented retards.

Do you think less of me? That’s probably a good thing, I have been trying to end this relationship for months. I don’t like hanging with losers, and I am embarassed to bring you out with me.

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Since Uma and Ethan broke up due to coke induced sessions with a 20 year old slut from Montreal, Ethan Hawke’s still working the scene. The only problem is that the only girl who cares about him is a 7 year old, and I don’t think she’s with him for his celebrity status, she’s probably lured in by the puppy. The dog is a pedophiles best pickin’ up tool, cuz what kid doesn’t like to pet a little puppy. Lucky for Ethan, as a celebrity, he can sleep with whoever you want, even get busted for this kind of illegal shit, or even like tranny whores and little boys, and still get away with it. It just takes a little bit of money. I don’t mean to offend anyone by calling Ethan Hawke a celebrity.

Just because I am the DrunkenStepfather, does not mean that I am into this shit, I just call it how I see it, I would only sleep with an underage girl if the bitch was mute or retarded and wouldn’t be able to tell on me, and by underage I am talking 16 not 7. Either way, both girls will end up with the same issues in therapy, like a fear of penis and low self esteem. Unless you stick to the retards, because they don’t know what the fuck’s going on and the only kind of therapy they get is physio to learn how to walk normal. Don’t be offended, I am not the person who invented retards.

Do you think less of me? That’s probably a good thing, I have been trying to end this relationship for months. I don’t like hanging with losers, and I am embarassed to bring you out with me.

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I was never a fan of Chris Farley, I think dude deserved to die, being that fat and jacked on coke is bound to make your heart explode. But that’s got nothing to do with Nicolette Sheridan in her bikini, other than the fact that she was his leading lady in Beverly Hills Ninja, probably a high-point in both their careers, actually it proabably was in Nicolette’s, she’s been in many useless movies and Desperate Housewives is her meal ticket, you know riding high, playing the hot slut, washing her car in short-schwartz, seducing the middle aged men with her middle-aged cooter

I am generally into younger girls. After looking at these pics, I can spot the flaws, but some nights I go to bed knowing that I’d fuck the jar of peanut butter, if I could afford to replace it. My wife would go crazy if she opened up the the Jiffy first thing in the morning, before her busy day of lying on the couch doing nothing, only to find it that it was raped by me. So who the fuck am I, to be picky. That said – I would still do Nicolette and her 42 year old cooter.

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I was talking a 19 year old lesbian, actually she’s not fully lesbian she has had penis once but I don’t think she liked it, it probably messed up her hair and makeup or someshit. She’s a little high-maintenance and cock just gets in the way of looking pretty. So I’m talking to this lesbian who hasn’t realized she’s a lesbian yet, and she’s telling me about modern etiquette, that involves ripping lines of cocaine off the toilet seat at high profile clubs and ditching your classically trained Opera career, where you were once thought of as a child prodigy, to dress up in lingerie and dance around like your were Kelly Clarkson.

Charlotte Church says goodbye to culture and sluts it up like every good girl should.

Check Out Video Here via ThighGuy

In other news, her Daddy just wants to get to know his little girl.

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I was talking a 19 year old lesbian, actually she’s not fully lesbian she has had penis once but I don’t think she liked it, it probably messed up her hair and makeup or someshit. She’s a little high-maintenance and cock just gets in the way of looking pretty. So I’m talking to this lesbian who hasn’t realized she’s a lesbian yet, and she’s telling me about modern etiquette, that involves ripping lines of cocaine off the toilet seat at high profile clubs and ditching your classically trained Opera career, where you were once thought of as a child prodigy, to dress up in lingerie and dance around like your were Kelly Clarkson.

Charlotte Church says goodbye to culture and sluts it up like every good girl should.

Check Out Video Here via ThighGuy

In other news, her Daddy just wants to get to know his little girl.

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When I think of England, I always think of beaches, cuz the country is known for sunny weather, oceanview and sand in your underwear. The British are known for their tanned surfing bodies and their dominance in all watersports. That’s why when I found out that Liz Hurley launched a swimwear line called “Beach”, I wasn’t the least bit surprised, seeing as she comes from England. I will not argue that she looks good for a 50 year old, and I will not argue that Hugh Grant got busted with a tranny whore while with her, but I will argue that she lacks creativity, calling swimwear “Beach” is as obnoxious as naming it “Bathing Suit” Now, I don’t fully have a problem with a bathing suit brand called “Beach”, I am poor and do everything generic, I can’t afford the big brand names. I am sure this is gonna be HUGE at K-Mart, right next to Kathly Lee Gifford’s lingerie line,

Go To Mr Skin to See More of Liz Hurley’s Skin

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When I think of England, I always think of beaches, cuz the country is known for sunny weather, oceanview and sand in your underwear. The British are known for their tanned surfing bodies and their dominance in all watersports. That’s why when I found out that Liz Hurley launched a swimwear line called “Beach”, I wasn’t the least bit surprised, seeing as she comes from England. I will not argue that she looks good for a 50 year old, and I will not argue that Hugh Grant got busted with a tranny whore while with her, but I will argue that she lacks creativity, calling swimwear “Beach” is as obnoxious as naming it “Bathing Suit” Now, I don’t fully have a problem with a bathing suit brand called “Beach”, I am poor and do everything generic, I can’t afford the big brand names. I am sure this is gonna be HUGE at K-Mart, right next to Kathly Lee Gifford’s lingerie line,

Go To Mr Skin to See More of Liz Hurley’s Skin

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