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2005

30

Jan

i am-coming clean

this morning after my massage and mud bath, as i was getting rinsed off by one of the cute polo shirt boys from the country club, i began to reminisce about when i was a young lady, just budding onto the sexual scene. Looking at young Brandon in his lime green polo, and checking out the track marks that were attempted to be hidden beneath his wrist bands, i recalled an old friend of mine, paloma, and how long it has been since we had spoken, and if she is still alive.

STORY AFTER THE JUMP

paloma and i met at this modeling agency that used to do promos for me, she was their client as well. paloma and i had our fair share of fun. The first day we met, we ended up on the roof of the building, completely naked, eating each other out at the same time with the gravel on the roof scrubbing against our backs. paloma had this thing that she did with her fingers when she was inside me, that I’ve always tried for people to replicate, but have never come close, she was a fireball. The second time we saw each other, i fucked her with a cristal bottle on the bar of some nightclub, i think we had driven to Florida, but it could be anywhere with palm trees-we were so gone on coke that when the cops pulled us over, i missed putting one of their cocks in my mouths and actually hit my cheek with it! The second time i am sure i got it right..Anyways, back to paloma. paloma and her brother moved to my city, and i always ended up there when i needed to finish off. paloma’s dad loved me because there were frequent events where paloma and i would just pounce each other with obtuse objects and KY heating jelly in front of him. After a few weeks, i got bored of the whole lesbian thing and needed more beef in my life. paloma’s brother, Pedro was such a sweetie, and it wasn’t just because i would walk in on him masturbating and finish him off, it was because he was just a really nice guy. He always had breakfast for me and sometimes i would catch him singing to no one in particular. One day i decided it was me he should be singing to, and i need him to beef up my life. This was the day after i abandoned being a lesbian, and the day before i picked it up again. In any case, Pedro was masturbating again, and i walked in with my pants down. When he looked up, his eyes pierced through me and i came right there. i came right down my thigh. He loved it. He took the head of his guitar and traced it up my legs. i turned around and felt the cool wood enter me from behind. i was so wet when he started to hum to me. i was breathing fast and so was he. i lifted my other leg and turned around to lower myself onto his package, slowly, so that each inch would be felt. He grabbed my right nipple between his teeth and bit down. i pulled my hands through his hair and scratched the hell out of his back as i rode him as hard as I’ve ever ridden anything in my life. The bed was shaking and everything was wet and sweaty and the guitar fell to the ground and Pedro pulled me up against the wall and i hooked one leg on his dresser and the other one around his leg and he pounded me as i humped him hard, hitting the wall with my hand each time to underline my point. He kept licking my face and i kept cupping his balls and playing with his gooch with the tips of my fingers, at one point he let out this man yell that got me even hotter, and a good thing at that, because from the corner of my eye i saw their cleaning lady Rosalie walk into the room in nothing but her little French maid apron. She pressed her fabulous breasts against mine and my nipples which were as hard as glass pressed into her soft, fleshy d cups. We were fingering each other and Pedro was doing me in the ass again and i was having the time of my life, again. Pedro kept slapping her ass and i got a little jealous so i took his cock in my mouth and sucked it and licked it until he started to pre cum again, and then i rubbed it between my breasts until he came all over my chest and around my neck. Rosalie licked it off me as Pedro was fingering her and she was still fingering me and her and i were shivering all over. All of a sudden i heard a buzzing noise and from his dresser drawer, Pedro pulls out this double sided vibrator which Rosalie and i jump onto faster than a school girl and a mop, and we come right there, twice each. i loved orgasming then because not only did i feel so free, but so ALIVE. All i wanted was to be pentetrated, all the time, from every hole in my body. Pedro must have seen this in my eyes because he started doing my from behind again and fingering rosalia’s ass. When we were through, Pedro had breakfast waiting for me again, and mid way through my pancakes, paloma came home with this “not only do i have a double sided vibrator, but i also have nipple clamps and the dj eilene record” i ran upstairs and took advantage of her in her baby pink silk sheets. We ruined them that day-do you have any idea how much i love nipple clamps?

Related Topics:

I am – Another Magical Afternoon /I am-hitting the parade /I am – Minxy Winxy Pudding + Pie /I am – all for sexual favors/I am – magic moments with minx /i am-throwing alcohol on you and then tossing the match /
I am – Democracy /I am – dancing like a slut on fire /I am – black whole theory

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2005

30

Jan

I am – Brad's Link List

Here is a new link list for ya’ll. If you would like to send me an intresting link you can always email me at: brad

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2005

30

Jan

I am – Brad’s Link List

Here is a new link list for ya’ll. If you would like to send me an intresting link you can always email me at: brad

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2005

28

Jan

I am – Sara Jessica Parker: Jewish Celebrity of the Day

Sara is Jewish. She also pissed of the Ultra-Orthodox Jews in Israel who demanded that billboards featuring Parker in a skimpy dress to promote Lux soap be covered up last year.

More Info and audio Clips after the Jump

Sex and the City Audio:

The definition of maturity.

“And now I’m on a Fifth Avenue bus with a penis on my head.”

“Abso-fucking-lutely.”

SJP APPRECIATION PAGE

IMDB BIO:
Sarah Jessica Parker was born March 25, 1965, in Nelsonville, Ohio, to parents Stephen Parker and Barbra Forste (who remarried Paul Forste after divorcing Sarah’s father). After her mother wed Forste, she had four more children, bringing the total to eight. Sarah Jessica now had 3 full siblings and 4 half siblings. Trained in singing and ballet, Sarah was cast in the Broadway production of “The Innocents”, which prompted her family to relocate to New Jersey. Already a professional performer (she studied at the American Ballet School and the Professional Children’s School), Sarah was cast in “The Sound of Music” (along with four of her siblings), and landed the lead in the Broadway run of “Annie”. After a year as the free-spirited orphan, Sarah attended Dwight Morrow High School, while continuing to add more credits to her acting resume. She landed a role in the made-for-TV movie My Body, My Child (1982) (TV), before being cast as one of the lead roles in the 1982 sitcom “Square Pegs” (1982), as high-schooler Patty Green. Once a graduate, Sarah decided to pursue a full-time acting career rather than further her education. Since “Square Pegs” (1982) didn’t last more than a year, Sarah moved on to supporting film roles in movies such as Footloose (1984), Firstborn (1984), and the lead role in the teenage film Girls Just Want to Have Fun (1985). Sarah was having lots of fun, although she had yet to land a star-turning role. After more television appearances in series and made-for-TV movies including “A Year in the Life” (1986) (mini), The Room Upstairs (1987) (TV) and Dadah Is Death (1988) (TV), Sarah finally landed the role of Steve Martin’s bubbly lover in the 1991 comedy L.A. Story (1991). More substantial film roles soon followed, starting with a role opposite Nicolas Cage in Honeymoon in Vegas (1992) (which foreshadowed her comedic talent), Hocus Pocus (1993) and Ed Wood (1994). A big Woody Allen fan, she starred opposite the renowned filmmaker in the TV movie The Sunshine Boys (1995) (TV), and that same year, she landed a starring role in Miami Rhapsody (1995). 1996 was a film intensive year with roles in The First Wives Club (1996), If Lucy Fell (1996), and Mars Attacks! (1996). All the while making a name for herself in film, Sarah was gaining respect as a theater actress, with her lead role as a dog (hard to imagine, but true) in the off-Broadway “Sylvia,” and her Broadway roles in “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying” (starring her present husband, Matthew Broderick), and the Tony-Award nominated “Once Upon a Mattress.” But Sarah’s star has shot up since her portrayal of Manhattan sex-columnist Carrie Bradshaw in the HBO series “Sex and the City” (1998). Sarah’s Golden Globe Best Actress victory in 2000 only underscores the fact that she plays the role of Carrie as though it were literally written for her. Sarah has been happily married to fellow actor Matthew Broderick for quite a while now. Before the marriage, she dated Robert Downey Jr. (who she also lived with), and the late John Kennedy Jr. When not serving as lead actress and producer of “Sex and the City” (1998), Sarah is a member of Hollywood’s Women’s Political Committee, and is UNICEF’s representative for the Performing Arts.

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2005

28

Jan

I am – Maurice Chevalier Fact of the Day


At the age of 17, he was “discovered” by night club singer Mistinguett and they became a popular act at the Folies-Bergere.

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2005

28

Jan

I am – Getty Image Round-Up

We do a round-up of getty images of the day that we find interesting or worth posting. I went through the galleries and this is what I found….your comments are welcome, but it doesn’t mean we will agree with you.

My 5 Choices after the Jump….

Beastie Boy – with age comes indigestion….

Married to Stalone, engaged to flava flav, ugly as fuck…Brigitte Nieslsen

Jerry Lewis – Not Dead and Huge in France…

Jodie Marsh Grabbing her BOOBS!!!!!

Slipknot, good place, great people…

Heidi has big boobies, I mean a baby….

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2005

28

Jan

I am – Dancing in Olive Oil

This woman gets naked, dances in olive oil and it is considered art. I once got naked and danced to grease once at a rodeo event…for some reason I got escorted outside of the men’s washroom by security. I think it had to do with the fact that I had an erection…..those were the days.

Pictures and Story of Olive Oil Dancer after the jump



A dancer has spoken of the challenge of dancing naked on stage while having olive oil poured over her body.

A total of 17 litres of olive oil are poured on Chilean dancer Lisbeth Gruwez during When the Lead Man is a Woman.

She told Las Ultimas Noticias: “The olive oil is alive and sometimes it doesn’t let me dance. I have to have a lot of concentration and technique to beat it.”

Mrs Gruwez dances and acts for 50 minutes as 22 bottles of olive oil are slowly poured on her body.

People on the front rows have to protect themselves from the oil during the show at the San Gines theatre in Santiago.

Source: Ananova.com

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2005

28

Jan

I am – Lohan Always a Slut


Even as a youth, Lohan bathed with boys. She had the decency to put her bathing suit back on in this picture, but I highly doubt she would this time around…she’d be too jacked on coke and “exhausted” after the gangbang. This is only speculation…and we do this to get noticed…we are like the annoying kid who never shuts the fuck up…waiting for his peers to acknowledge his presence.

Acknowledge our presence…..

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2005

28

Jan

I am – Sexual Storybook…of the day….

I am not going to stop until we get some motherfucking stories sent by you guys to them…I am trying to help keep this site alive, the guy who runs it seems discouraged, so HELP HIM OUT and CC us….

The best stories by our readers – will be posted in this feature….

LOVE and Story After the jump

In Law Sex
Date: Nov 24, 2004
Category: Bizarre
Type: True Confession
Approval Rating: 50.00% – 9 vote(s)

My mother in Law Flashed meMany years ago my mother in law paid me a surprise visit.. my then pregnant wife was out for the day and I was half asleep , laying on the couch in only my underwear whene my mother in law showed up unnannounced … After the usual pleasantries ( her eyes kept drifting to my bulge ) she sat on the couch as I offered her coffee.. she nodded a yes and followed me to the kitchen and when she sat at the table she shamelessly let her bare pussy show… ( just like her two daughters she wasn’t wearing panties and also just like her daughters she is VERY hairy )

We talked, I leered and soon I had a raging erection she couldn’t avoid noticing as we sat together at the kitchen table ,,, Finaly as she siped her coffee she looked over her cup and whispered ” its OK nobody will know ” she stood up and unbuttoned her skirt and let it fall to her ankles .. ” fuck me” is all she said .. I led her to the bedroom and in a sexond lay on top of her and she guided my bouncing penis into her vagina … I had to slow down so I wouldn’t cum too soon… and for awhile we just lay together, my erect penis deep in her and we kissed … then she pulled away from me and slid down to my wet erection and sucked it until I couldn’t hold back any longer and I ejaculated in her mouth … after my erection softened and fell out of her mouth she kissed me and spit my cum into my mouth

We showered together in silence , shewashed my penis and caressed me and we fucked again…

SexualStoryBook

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2005

28

Jan

I am – White Whore Wife

This black man documents the fall of his wife into a place I call Whoredom. We see this nice fat white woman slowly get comfortable with the camera and eventually making her way into the world of swinging and gangbangs….
I remember a time when a I tried document my descent into Whoredom, but it made a very boring video that involved me, a bathtub, a lot of porno magazines and a jar of margerine….

I am pure, virginal and Drunk….

Follow this link to see the White Whore Wife website.

HERE

Well back to turning your wife into a slut and whore. Your slut/whore wife to be is going to start feeling more comfortable dressed like a whore out in public and she will love the looks and attention she gets from other men while she is there. When she ask you, “Why are all these guys looking at me?” Simply reply, “Because you look hot as hell, they probably want to have sex with you, and I am sure all of them wish they had a wife as cool as you!” The last part of that statement will thrill your wife. I’m gonna say it even though my better judgment say’s I should not. Women often times love the thought that they are “one upping” another woman. Ladies don’t be mad cause I said this, because you know it is true. Guys never go out with other guys and say to themselves, “Gee I look a lot better than Frank and Bob do tonight.”, but women do. When your wife feels hot like that, it will do more for her sexual esteem than any compliment you can ever give her.

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