I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Uncategorized Category

2005

23

Jan

I am – Child Beauty Pageant


This has probably made it’s way around the internet, I got it in my email and I said – this should be posted because I like girls just as much as the next guy. But this Jon Benet Ramsey shit’s got me feeling a little uncomfortable. I don’t know why a parent would make their kids look like a doll, I don’t know why they would abuse them emotionally, physically and sexually in order to win their local pageant. I know that most of the mother’s who do this to their kids are beyond psycho and usually ugly…breeding their kids to be what they never could be, without saying to themselves, maybe little Jenna just wants to play Barbie…and not be Barbie…

We all know how this story ends…girl runs away from home, becomes a hooker, and Jesus Martinez takes care of em, while drunk on Welfare Check day….

We call the pictures after the jump “before they were whores, a child beauty pageant experience” and no…there is no swimsuit competition….you sick-o…

PICS AFTER JUMP.







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2005

23

Jan

I am – Uma Thurman Topless

These pictures are old, but seem to be making their rounds on the internets. I think you will appreciate seeing Uma’s bush as well as her boobies. I am not a fan of boobies or bush, give me a bitch that cooks and does dishes in an astronaut suit…that’s fucking hotter than any nudity you could send my way….

Uma Thurman Naked Beach Pictures HERE via L.A Lovin’
Nothing After the Jump…

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2005

23

Jan

I am – Getty Image Round-Up


Every once in a while I like to go through some getty images and see if there is anything interesting. Today, I had the brilliant idea of posting a few pictures that I happened to come across…Like Paris Hilton, Jodie Marsh, Caprice and more….

After the jump you will see my selection

Who the fuck is Bonnie Hunt?

Paris Hilton lookin like Jessica Sanders….

Jessica Sanders

Remember Caprice?

Kid Rock’s got class…

Jodie Marsh…lookin like kid rock…

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2005

23

Jan

I am – Lindsay Lohan Shopping Ass


Who doesn’t like to shop?! I mean my fondest memories of my childhood were the days we spent at the Salvation Army trying on shoes, and buying my new school clothes for the season….I remember telling myself that although these clothes were very used and stank, they were still new to me. I think the Salvation Army is where I developed my used-panty fetish…speaking of which, who the fuck donates their old underwear to charity? And who the fuck buys them – other than perverts like me….it always made me wonder…..

After the jump, you will find, a couple other Lohan shopping pics…



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2005

23

Jan

I am – Jessica Simpson’s CamelToe


I remember my first cameltoe experience. I was in highschool and the lunch monitor was an overweight inuit woman. She wore jogging pants that were right tight if you know what I mean. Those fuckers would creep up deep into her crevace….it is assumed that she had quite a gaping daisy….not because she was fat, and not because she had 6 kids, but because we all saw full definition every fucking day…

I remember the first time I saw it, I gagged….and eventually I became intrigued by the concept of the frontal wedgie….

Here is a picture of Jessica Simpson, cameltoed.

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2005

23

Jan

I am – Jessica Simpson's CamelToe


I remember my first cameltoe experience. I was in highschool and the lunch monitor was an overweight inuit woman. She wore jogging pants that were right tight if you know what I mean. Those fuckers would creep up deep into her crevace….it is assumed that she had quite a gaping daisy….not because she was fat, and not because she had 6 kids, but because we all saw full definition every fucking day…

I remember the first time I saw it, I gagged….and eventually I became intrigued by the concept of the frontal wedgie….

Here is a picture of Jessica Simpson, cameltoed.

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2005

23

Jan

I am – Kylie Minogue’s Nipple


Everyone has nipples so why do people care when a celebrity is wearing a shirt that shows off their nipple. I know I am only interested in seeing their muff, but to all you perverts who get off to obscure nipple pictures. Here you go – you dirty bastards.

Nothing After the Jump

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2005

23

Jan

I am – Kylie Minogue's Nipple


Everyone has nipples so why do people care when a celebrity is wearing a shirt that shows off their nipple. I know I am only interested in seeing their muff, but to all you perverts who get off to obscure nipple pictures. Here you go – you dirty bastards.

Nothing After the Jump

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2005

23

Jan

I am – Johnny Carson: Dead Celebrity of the Day

Johnny Carson was a talk show host, a legend, but anyone who passes off the mic to Jay Leno will clearly be missed, coveted and appreciated. Because Leno sucks.

It is the same logic used when girls always hang out with other girls who are uglier than them, they do it because they want to be the prettiest in the crew. We call the ugly girls the fat managers, because to get to the hot chick, you have to go through the fatties.

If you don’t get what I am saying, I am drunk, and while drunk, I have trouble bringing the point home, but I have no problem bringing a hooker home, even though it really pisses off my wife.

Anyway the point of this post is to honor a man who died from smoking too much, who married too many times, who met and made fun of too many celebrities and to a man who made a lot of people laugh everynight of the week. For that we commend you dear soldier of tobacco and women….to a career in television that will never be duplicated mainly due to the vast selection we have with satelite TV…..and partially due to a lack of natural talent and sincerity….

Some Carson Quotes After the Jump

On his final show:
“I am taking the applause sign home, putting it in the bedroom.”

On Death:
“For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.”

On Elvis:
“If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

On Life:
“I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.”

On Marriage:
“If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.”

On Curiosity:
“Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.”

On Obesity:
“He’s so fat, he can be his own running mate.”

On Christmas Toys:
“The price of Christmas toys is outrageous — a hundred dollars, two hundred dollars for video games for the youngsters. I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid. I bought him a tank. It was about a hundred dollars, a lot of money in those days. It was the kind of tank you could actually get inside and ride in.
He played in the box it came in. It taught me a very valuable lesson. Next year he got a box. And I got a hundred dollars’ worth of scotch.”

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2005

22

Jan

I am – Brad's Famous Link Dump

Another link dump to quench you thirst. If you would like to send me an embarrassing link you can always email me at: brad.jew@gmail.com

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