Who doesn’t like to shop?! I mean my fondest memories of my childhood were the days we spent at the Salvation Army trying on shoes, and buying my new school clothes for the season….I remember telling myself that although these clothes were very used and stank, they were still new to me. I think the Salvation Army is where I developed my used-panty fetish…speaking of which, who the fuck donates their old underwear to charity? And who the fuck buys them – other than perverts like me….it always made me wonder…..

After the jump, you will find, a couple other Lohan shopping pics…

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I remember my first cameltoe experience. I was in highschool and the lunch monitor was an overweight inuit woman. She wore jogging pants that were right tight if you know what I mean. Those fuckers would creep up deep into her crevace….it is assumed that she had quite a gaping daisy….not because she was fat, and not because she had 6 kids, but because we all saw full definition every fucking day…

I remember the first time I saw it, I gagged….and eventually I became intrigued by the concept of the frontal wedgie….

Here is a picture of Jessica Simpson, cameltoed.

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I remember my first cameltoe experience. I was in highschool and the lunch monitor was an overweight inuit woman. She wore jogging pants that were right tight if you know what I mean. Those fuckers would creep up deep into her crevace….it is assumed that she had quite a gaping daisy….not because she was fat, and not because she had 6 kids, but because we all saw full definition every fucking day…

I remember the first time I saw it, I gagged….and eventually I became intrigued by the concept of the frontal wedgie….

Here is a picture of Jessica Simpson, cameltoed.

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Everyone has nipples so why do people care when a celebrity is wearing a shirt that shows off their nipple. I know I am only interested in seeing their muff, but to all you perverts who get off to obscure nipple pictures. Here you go – you dirty bastards.

Nothing After the Jump

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Everyone has nipples so why do people care when a celebrity is wearing a shirt that shows off their nipple. I know I am only interested in seeing their muff, but to all you perverts who get off to obscure nipple pictures. Here you go – you dirty bastards.

Nothing After the Jump

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Johnny Carson was a talk show host, a legend, but anyone who passes off the mic to Jay Leno will clearly be missed, coveted and appreciated. Because Leno sucks.

It is the same logic used when girls always hang out with other girls who are uglier than them, they do it because they want to be the prettiest in the crew. We call the ugly girls the fat managers, because to get to the hot chick, you have to go through the fatties.

If you don’t get what I am saying, I am drunk, and while drunk, I have trouble bringing the point home, but I have no problem bringing a hooker home, even though it really pisses off my wife.

Anyway the point of this post is to honor a man who died from smoking too much, who married too many times, who met and made fun of too many celebrities and to a man who made a lot of people laugh everynight of the week. For that we commend you dear soldier of tobacco and women….to a career in television that will never be duplicated mainly due to the vast selection we have with satelite TV…..and partially due to a lack of natural talent and sincerity….

Some Carson Quotes After the Jump

On his final show:
“I am taking the applause sign home, putting it in the bedroom.”

On Death:
“For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.”

On Elvis:
“If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

On Life:
“I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.”

On Marriage:
“If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.”

On Curiosity:
“Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.”

On Obesity:
“He’s so fat, he can be his own running mate.”

On Christmas Toys:
“The price of Christmas toys is outrageous — a hundred dollars, two hundred dollars for video games for the youngsters. I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid. I bought him a tank. It was about a hundred dollars, a lot of money in those days. It was the kind of tank you could actually get inside and ride in.
He played in the box it came in. It taught me a very valuable lesson. Next year he got a box. And I got a hundred dollars’ worth of scotch.”

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Another link dump to quench you thirst. If you would like to send me an embarrassing link you can always email me at: brad.jew@gmail.com

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Another link dump to quench you thirst. If you would like to send me an embarrassing link you can always email me at: brad.jew@gmail.com

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So we decided to have a competition here at DrunkenStepfather.com that has no prize at this point in time, but we will think of one, provided you win.

Full details after the jump.

The contest is simple – you email this penis elargement site with an extravagent testimonial. If they put it up on the testimonial page, you win.

The site is MaxxLength

And some of the testimonials are:

“My wife has been there from the beginning, since I took my first Maxx Length pill. She wants me to stop when my penis reaches nine inches, but I’m not so sure.” – P. D’Angelo, Jericho, NY

“I used to be embarrassed in the locker room. But not any more. Since I began my Maxx Length regimen, I now hang out long and fat and thick. I am the envy of other men. My life has changed.”
– B. Sommers, York, PA

“Thank you guys for what you did for my boyfriend (and me). His erections are bigger and better than ever before. He delivers the goods every time. Our sex life has never been better.” – M. Cook,Torrance, CA

I don’t know the legal implications of doing this, so if you hate us (joggingslut) you can participate too, as it may get us in trouble!

email this address from this link, it automatically BCCs us, so we know you’re legit.

Enter Contest

LOVE the DrunkenStepfather crew..

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Clothes Off Our Back is a charity where celebs donate clothes they wore to award shows, auction them off and donate the money to Tsunami. I was going through the selection of designer goods available and only one struck a chord. It was Star Jones’ Kevan Hall Golden Globe gown.

I do not have an affinity for women’s clothing, although I do look really pretty in pantyhose. I was just thinking about putting a bid on this acution because I think my fridge would look great in it, and it’s about the right size. A fridge in a dress is a much hotter thing than you.

Other uses for this gown could include, sofa slip cover, a duvet bag, a sail for a small boat, a tent for the camp ground or for a party.

I am sure you can think of your own things to do with yards and yards of fabric..including making it the biggest cum rag of all time, cut it up and make clothes for the whole family, donate it to directly to the tsunami cause, to house the people who have lost their homes. I feel like I am getting repetitive.

Check out the auction here

It’s a good cause and if you are lucky it will still stink of Star in all the right places, or maybe it will be soiled with food that she fell off her spoon and she shoveled it into her fat face.

Was that mean??

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