So….It turns out that Caroline D’Amore is the reason I got deleted off Facebook.

Her boyfriend’s brother is a dude named Blaise Dipersia who happens to work at Facebook and it was revealed to me that he was the person who disabled my account. I don’t know who this fucker is, I don’t know what he does at Facebook, but he’s clearly high enough on the chain to disable profiles for his friends…what I do know is that this is clearly an abuse of power, where facebook employees over-ride everyday people and side with their family in friends while deleting profiles and I find that to be unethical business practices.

I have reached out to facebook for comment, but they haven’t responded so if anyone knows his boss, send me their email contact and if anyone hears Caroline D’Amore is badly DJing in their city, boycott the event, this Celine Dion bitch is the fucking devil and I want to get Blaise fired…it’s a personal mission….

I called him and told him who I was and he hung up on me like a little bitch…..Sucks getting busted….

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You gotta give Zac Effron some credit for not slippin’ up on his sexuality and staying pretty loyal to Vanessa Hudgens, despite the fact that we all know he is contractually obliged to and we also all know that if he was gay, shit would be over for him, because Disney hates homos, but it’s still nice to see.

I mean, I know gay people and I even like gay people and support what they do in the privacy of their own home. I don’t think they are the sinners that God and republicans think they are, but I do know they are more popular than ever and every time I leave the house I see at least one of them prancing around, acting like a bunch of girls, checking out dudes who aren’t me and even holding hands or making out with each other an the whole thing is fucking awkward.

Just last night at a bar, there were two guys grinding like Jamaican prostitutes on a tourist’s jock and at the end of the night I saw them making out for a solid 30 minutes in the corner, only to accidentally end up in the bathroom with them, knowing what they were up to, almost unable to pee because it was like being in a room full of girls judging me.

So this Effron dude deserves some credit for repressing that shit like he’s supposed to and should be a model Gay for the gays out there, because some of us straight people are a little tired of your song and dance and homosexuality prance. We get it you like ass and dick, you don’t have to cause a fucking scene about it.

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I hate Kristen Bell. She is boring. Here she is doing some bullshit campaign for Gap that made me hate her more.

I wrote a poem, even though I hate poems and find them really fucking gay, but I did it because I had no choice and it turns out that it’s a lot better than this candy-coated Gap bullshit that she sold her soul for a dollar to the Gap Devils like she was Perez Hilton….and it goes like that.

For all the virgins and the guy’s who like comics
For All the married men who’s wive’s make them vomit

For All the men that don’t do men and the girls who are just like them
For All the bored and the social outcasts who are forgotten

For All the porn addicts and the rapists
For All the guys who like to wear bracelets

For All the losers who masturbate a lot
and all the guys who have contemplated fucking a robot

Those who can’t talk and those who can’t write
There’s a way you can help and try to do right
Take of your shirt and even your skirt
Spread your little pussy and make it squirt

Squirt for for those who can’t squirt at all
Or those who have only see one pussy that was their mom’s
if only for one tuesday late in the fall….

Squirt for those who can’t.

drunkenstepfather.com

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It turns out that Lauren Conrad isn’t infact a robot that was built in some MTV lab, which I thought was her story up until today. I mean it would explain the fact that she agreed to sell her soul to the devil and sign on to The Hills and it would explain why she is far from perfect, because last time I beat up a kid for his Popular Mechanics magazine, we just didn’t have the technology yet, but then again, the last time I read Popular Mechanics was in the ’20s, in another life, when they had just invented the blimp and were talking about motorized buggies instead of using horses. I don’t know where I am going with this, but I do know that my computer has fucking AIDS and is a real bitch to deal with, probably a lot like Lauren Conrad was growing up, and this is the man to ask.

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Leryn Franco is some Olympic Athlete from Paraguay, a country where they encourage their athletes to get fake tits and walk the runway in order to get on the international scene because none of their other athletes do the Javelin throw and figure they might as well get one who is worth fucking in there to help make herself famous, a strategy I am okay with because these fake tits are better then the thousand of fake tits I’ve seen before them and with stats like that, who cares if you’re the worst Javelin thrower in the Olympics, that shit’s a pretty dead end sport anyway.

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Dita Von Teese is a fucking monster. Her pale skin. Her whole Vampire from the 1800s act. Her marrying Manson and it turns out so are her fucking friends. The worst thing about all this is that each and everyone of them is probably rich, bored and that’s why they joined whatever cult they are in, but I know that if I saw them standing anywhere, I’d either turn the fuck around or pull out my bible that I like to carry around with me everywhere I go because I like to bust it out to make the girls I date rape feel like they are actually in a motel room because I am considerate like that, when we hit the back alley, not that they’d remember it the next day. Oh…the beauty of modern medicine.

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