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Archive for the Unsorted Category
2006
22
Nov
I am – Bathroom Art of the Day
2006
22
Nov
I am – Fergie Throwback Pics of Her Ass Crack of the Day
The Black Eyed Peas call their fans “Peabodies” and this is Fergie’s Ass Crack from 2004. I remember Chlamydia, it was the best night of my life, which reminds me of a story I once read of a guy who picked up a slammin’ girl, banged her, landed Chlamydia, got the pills, it cleared up, went out to the bar again the next week, picked up the same girl and got Chlamydia again…That story is a lot like Fergie’s ass. It’s rancid like an STD but good enough to post 2 years later. You liked that story…didn’t you…You liked how I tied that shit back into Fergie’s pics. I am pretty fucking smart for a mexican – admit it.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
22
Nov
I am – American Music Award Post of the Day
I would have done a liveblog at the AMAs, but I had no idea they were on. I ended up having a pretty hurtin’ hangover by 8 pm after drinking all day yesterday and passed out on the couch. So I didn’t get the chance to watch the show and I am sure I didn’t miss shit, because the AMA’s are a shit, so I guess that technically means I did miss shit….
Speaking of shit…I woke up on the couch to Nelly Fertado Dancing on Clouds with a bunch of black people dressed in white showing off her “I just gave birth and I am a fisherman’s daughter ass”. I thought I had died in my sleep and woke up in hell. She was caressing herself and it would have turned me on if she didn’t look like a man. I passed back out when Billy Ray Cyrus and his daughter hit the stage. His daughter is not legal and either is his hair.
Speaking of giving birth, I remember one Christmas when I was a teenager and I got my GF an IUD so that she’d let me bang her. It ended up doing the opposite, she got mad and she fucked off with my best friend who only had one testicle and let him take her cherry. That was my one chance to get a virgin and I fucked it up. So when christmas shopping for your woman this year, don’t get her the Birth Control Shot…but consider getting her the morning after pill, cuz it’s trendy now.
Here are some AMA Pics…
Wearing soemthing to practically cover-up her GUNT.
Lookin’ Anorexic
Lookin’ African.
Lookin’ Beat Up and Like She’s Had 2 Kids…
Lookin’ Good.
Looking Old and Haggard
Lookin’ Fat
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
22
Nov
I am – DrunkenstepLINKS of the Day
Those fuckers at TMZ refused to link me when they first started and now I know why. They are fucking huge. I just watched local news and they were on it for the Kramer video. These fuckers land all the HUGE videos and if I was them, I wouldn’t link to me either….On the positive site of things, I have a new reader and this is what she wrote to me…
I just don’t understand why people like you exist. Killer site, tits, ass, and snarky commentary. I’ll catch your perverse ass later.
-Tess
I think that means I have a new reader. So say hi to Tess aka reader number 11 and click the links that I found for you …Asshole.
This is the reason why Kramer hates black people…These Parents Are Betting On Their Kids Fight…
GO
Courtney Cox has a New Show and She Looks Like a Crackwhore
GO
I assume this is Terry Richardson’s Brother’s Magazine…Because All 3 Issues Have Porno Pics by Him…I hate flash sites cuz I can’t link to the article I wanted to…Motherfuckers….
GO
Paris Hilton Pukes On Stage, Everyone Talks About It, But Do We Really Care?
GO
Topless Rice Cooking With A Bottle Of Absolut Makes me Hungry.
GO
Robert Altman Dies at 81, He Is the Reason We Know Julianne Moore is a Firecrotch
GO
Niki Belucci is Hungary’s Topless DJ – Here Are Her Pics….
GO
Fat Black and Shakin Her Ass On Youtube…No Wonder Kramer Hate’s These People…
GO
Britney Hangs with Paris and Drops Her Pants…They Look Like the Lamest People to Party With Ever…
GO
The Bitch From Survivor who Hosts the View is Retarded in Video but I Did Want to Bang Her When She Was On Survivor and Smelled Like Shit.
GO
Madonna Wants Another Pet African and People Need to Stop Dissin’ Her For Doing a Good Thing…
GO
I don’t know who Maria Reyes is But I Do See Her Ass Crack..
GO
Black Girl Shaking Her Ass On Youtube. I assume she’s adopted because she’s not fat and can afford a computer. Her white folks…don’t let her eat fried chicken…and they vacations in Florida….where Grandma has a Condo….
GO
T-Shirts That Get Dumb College Girls Horny and Horny Dumb College Girls Means You’re Getting Lucky. It’s Pretty Much a Fact.
GO
Rose Mcgowen’s Nipples are Hard
GO
Holly Valence Nip Slip
GO
Here’s the 40 Year Old VIrgin Nipple Scene Because You Hate Yourself As Much As I Do…
GO
Sophie Howard is a “Knockout”
GO
Some White Chick Booty Dancing at a Bar in a Thong
GO
This video is called a Super Sloppy Thanksgiving. Sound’s Like My Wife.
GO
Pheromone Spray is On Sale for 1/2 Price. It’s a Deal and If You Get 2 Bottles You Get 1 Free. That Means You Get 3 bottles for the price of 1…..Getting Laid is Now So Much Cheaper….and I am a Math Whiz WHile Drunks….
GO
There’s something funny about LPSG.org…And That Starts With People Who Put Their Penis Size in Their Signature and Ends With this Thread About the Best Reaction They’ve Had to Their Large Penis…
GO
Looking Good Sweetheart
GO
Divine Comedy are Some British Band and This is the Weirdest Video I’ve Ever Seen
GO
Cold War Kids are a Great Band from L.A. According to the Guy Who Asked Me to Post this Video. I think I’d have to agreee but probably only because I am drunk.
GO
Who are the brownbabies and why do I want to let them give me HPV
GO
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
21
Nov
I am – Rose Mcgowen’s Nips of the Day
2006
21
Nov
I am – Rose Mcgowen's Nips of the Day
2006
21
Nov
I am – Christina Ricci at an Event Yesterday of the Day
Watching Dr Phil drunk is worse than watching Dr Phil sober. I have to close one eye to focus on the screen but I can’t help but think that this girl is too classy for this guy who won’t rent her a DJ for their wedding it’s sad to see people settle for garbage just because geographically it makes sense. I probably don’t make sense no matter where I am geographically, but that’s ok because I think I have been over-served. I am surprised no one emailed me asking me what I’ve been drinking, but not that surprised considering I get no email except from a girl named Tanya who told me I write like a 15 year old with angst and she didn’t like that my emails are in point form, but what does she know…she works in a museum. She sent me a link last night of an accident scene, there was a dead bloody body in the pictures and I don’t deal with that shit very well so Tanya you whore – you let me to the bottle today….
Speaking of bottle, Christina Ricci kinda looks like a water-head who is still fed by a bottle at the age of 25. A water-head is a retard. Not the Forrest Gump kind of retard who works at the coffee shop by my house and who always smiles while steaming milk but like the kind of retard who thinks he just went to Disney Land when he’s really just playing with rocks in the backyard. I am talking the kind of retard who likes dancing, swimming and getting erections in public and masturbating that erection while being walked around on a leash by some long-term care facility worker because mommy and daddy had 2 normal kids after him and want to pretend that the he never happened.
In all seriousness, because I am drunk and vulnerable, I want you to know that I am not a mental or physical retardation hater. I am actually convinced that they don’t carry around all the shit you do…the same shit that makes you a bad person. They are like puppies only more human.
Either way, I wish she was retarded cuz retarded girls are easy. All you need to do is find out what institution she was at, then apply for the orderly job, then tell her how pretty she is….PERVERT.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
21
Nov
I am – Aleesha Dixon’s Nipple at the Mobo Awards of the Day
Mis-Teeq aka Alesha Dixon was at the MOBO awards with a nipple exposing shirt…that slut. I guess the thing that makes her an even bigger slut is that these pictures are from September 20th and the MOBO awards are the Music of Black Origin which sounds pretty fucking racist to me. Either way, last I checked it was November, but this is what happens when I am drunk. the other thing that happens to me when I am drunk is that I pass out in random places. I just woke up on the couch stepSTEVE called home with my drink all over the place. It reminded me of my aggressive drinking days that are all a blur. There were times I’d set my mind to doing productive things and exciting things only to end up waking up 6 hours later on a park bench. I remember when I used to get laid, even with the table scraps I found in bars and on the street at 4 am, I’d get so excited to get up in their junk but the second I’d get them back to my place, I’d pass out. When I’d wake and either my money, TV, left over pizza or other valuables that I managed to collect over the years would be gone. Once there was hate messages smeared on my wall in feces that took me a month to clean up. I guess they weren’t the type of girl I’d want to sleep with anyway so that’s further proof that drinking has saved my life. I forget where I am going with this.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
21
Nov
I am – Aleesha Dixon's Nipple at the Mobo Awards of the Day
Mis-Teeq aka Alesha Dixon was at the MOBO awards with a nipple exposing shirt…that slut. I guess the thing that makes her an even bigger slut is that these pictures are from September 20th and the MOBO awards are the Music of Black Origin which sounds pretty fucking racist to me. Either way, last I checked it was November, but this is what happens when I am drunk. the other thing that happens to me when I am drunk is that I pass out in random places. I just woke up on the couch stepSTEVE called home with my drink all over the place. It reminded me of my aggressive drinking days that are all a blur. There were times I’d set my mind to doing productive things and exciting things only to end up waking up 6 hours later on a park bench. I remember when I used to get laid, even with the table scraps I found in bars and on the street at 4 am, I’d get so excited to get up in their junk but the second I’d get them back to my place, I’d pass out. When I’d wake and either my money, TV, left over pizza or other valuables that I managed to collect over the years would be gone. Once there was hate messages smeared on my wall in feces that took me a month to clean up. I guess they weren’t the type of girl I’d want to sleep with anyway so that’s further proof that drinking has saved my life. I forget where I am going with this.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
21
Nov
I am – American Lohan in London of the Day
I know that I am late in posting today and the reason is simple. I decided to write this week’s posts drunk so it takes me at least 2 hours to get to the desired level of drunkness.
Who better to start drunk week up with than Lindsay Lohan drunk in London today. I don’t know why people give a fuck about her or why she’s rocking 2 watches like she iss black and working the streets of NYC hustling, but I do know that in one of these pics it looks like she’s just been banged up the ass…
I remember the first time I was banged up the ass. It was in the late 90s while in prison. He was the kind of guy who would wear two watches unfortunately that day it was me he was wearing on his wrist, and in order to wear someone on your wrist, there’s really only 2 points of entry….That’s to story I heard.
Being drunk brings back all the amazing memories…that’s the story I heard.
Being drunk also makes me repeat things….
Cuddles.
PS – Bitch looks like she’s pregnant….
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