MUNG is pretty lame and if this is what he considers art, I know exactly what kind of guy he is….I’m talkin eyebrow piercing, high school drop out who listens to shitty rock music with his gelled hair and shirt tucked into his Docker’s in between periods of the hockey game on the couch with his fat high school sweetheart, who he knocked up at 19, right before getting a canada flag tattooed on his shoulder but after giving up on all his dreams and accepting his life as a suburbian piece of middle management shit. He sent this in about a week ago and I decided to post it today. I actually have a softspot for MUNG.

I really don’t know what to think about this one. It kinda sucks, sorta like the idea of posting art on this shitty website and getting you uncultured fucking losers to comment on it. This artwork is so fucking awesome that it makes me want to stab babies with pitchforks and fuck the pitchfork when I am done with it. I am thinking that it symbolizes anti-abortion and some fucking pro-life loser painted it. The devilgirl symbolizes the actual method of abortion while the pitchfork symbolizes the coathanger…and the dead baby, well it symbolizes a dead baby. Either that or I am looking way too deeply into things and it’s just a really cool picture of a devilgirl humping a pitchfork with a dead baby on the end of it.

Art rules, now go fuck off.

MUNG

I am talking to a 15 year old girl in starbucks and she reads my site – she wanted to write something in this post. So this is what she had to say. Nude Pics To Follow…in 3 years.

Can I come to your apartment so that you can help me with my blog?

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I have no idea who this bitch is and lucky for you I don’t have time to google it, because I am headed to a funeral. I know all you fuckers like to rip into me about how I am lazy and useless and all that shit, but as much of an asshole as I am, I wouldn’t make an excuse up like this. I just don’t like joking about death, I am more into sex jokes and the sexual harassment of girls on myspace

I have been getting drunk the last 3 nights and nothing really eventful has come from it. I already told you the english professor story and I barely remember the funny parts of the night. On Saturday I got drunk at some shitty restaurant with a couple of friends, dizzy and beat up from the night before, I had to go home early. but before going home my friend dragged me to some gay bar so that he could mack on a barmaid there who he’s wanted for about a year but hasn’t got yet. I had to make fun of her, and possibly fuck up his game, but only because I have a reputation to live up to. I am an asshole like that.

This has officially been the worst post in a long time, but under the circumstances, you should be happy I’ve bothered posting anything.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

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I have no idea who this bitch is and lucky for you I don’t have time to google it, because I am headed to a funeral. I know all you fuckers like to rip into me about how I am lazy and useless and all that shit, but as much of an asshole as I am, I wouldn’t make an excuse up like this. I just don’t like joking about death, I am more into sex jokes and the sexual harassment of girls on myspace

I have been getting drunk the last 3 nights and nothing really eventful has come from it. I already told you the english professor story and I barely remember the funny parts of the night. On Saturday I got drunk at some shitty restaurant with a couple of friends, dizzy and beat up from the night before, I had to go home early. but before going home my friend dragged me to some gay bar so that he could mack on a barmaid there who he’s wanted for about a year but hasn’t got yet. I had to make fun of her, and possibly fuck up his game, but only because I have a reputation to live up to. I am an asshole like that.

This has officially been the worst post in a long time, but under the circumstances, you should be happy I’ve bothered posting anything.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

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I feel like punishing all you bastards who decided to give me a lesson in comedy in my Nicole Richie text message post.

Like the guy who told me how I am not funny because I corrected her spelling and how that’s a lame joke. Well, there is one thing you have to understand and that is that people who dis people based on spelling suck. It’s not a good joke, it’s a cop out of a joke and anyone who reads this site knows that I am far more creative than that.

Reality is that my site is filled with typos and I understand that they happen. I am an uneducated mexican, I am surprised I can even type at all. But the joke is the Nicole Richie is a rich girl, with more money that I’d know what to do with, with all the opportunity to be the smartest and most educated little thing in the world and bitch never took the time to learn how to spell lose. She was always too busy smoking heroin.

So all this is to say that I dissed the fact that she couldn’t spell lose or loser because as she rolls around in her Benz, I know that 95% of you fuckers are smarter than her and that is a scary fucking thing. So yeah, maybe the Richie post wasn’t the best I could have done, but she has changed her number since Sunday, and bad dis or not, that means I won. Cuddles.

Speaking of winning, this bitch’s name is Corinne Cobson and she’s some kind of designer/make-up artist/ something from France. No one gives a fuck about her cuz she’s washed up and gross, but in a bra and bras always make me smile. Unlike you, Asshole.

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I feel like punishing all you bastards who decided to give me a lesson in comedy in my Nicole Richie text message post.

Like the guy who told me how I am not funny because I corrected her spelling and how that’s a lame joke. Well, there is one thing you have to understand and that is that people who dis people based on spelling suck. It’s not a good joke, it’s a cop out of a joke and anyone who reads this site knows that I am far more creative than that.

Reality is that my site is filled with typos and I understand that they happen. I am an uneducated mexican, I am surprised I can even type at all. But the joke is the Nicole Richie is a rich girl, with more money that I’d know what to do with, with all the opportunity to be the smartest and most educated little thing in the world and bitch never took the time to learn how to spell lose. She was always too busy smoking heroin.

So all this is to say that I dissed the fact that she couldn’t spell lose or loser because as she rolls around in her Benz, I know that 95% of you fuckers are smarter than her and that is a scary fucking thing. So yeah, maybe the Richie post wasn’t the best I could have done, but she has changed her number since Sunday, and bad dis or not, that means I won. Cuddles.

Speaking of winning, this bitch’s name is Corinne Cobson and she’s some kind of designer/make-up artist/ something from France. No one gives a fuck about her cuz she’s washed up and gross, but in a bra and bras always make me smile. Unlike you, Asshole.

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I went out last night dressed like an english professor. I was in a cardigan and tuxedo shirt and the english professor was my bit for the night. I don’t remember the night at all. I do remember making fun of a Mexican/Hatian girl for being dirtier than a Mexican because she threw a lil’ nig into the mix. I remember laughing at a Russian girl about being a mail-order bride. I remember running up to a girl who I was told was a stripper and continually told her how I had already seen her box. I don’t really know if much else happened, but I was the motherfucking English professor and I had a good time doing it. Speaking of goodtimes, here are a bunch of random links I’ve found the last couple of days. They suck, but then again so do you, so you’re like a match made in heaven. I als drunken dialed Paris Hilton and had a fight with whoever answered. They kept saying that they were the Beverly Hills Police Department and that they were sending the case to the FBI. I kept asking her what she was wearing. Part of me knows getting arrested will launch my career…So I’ll keep it up. Cuddles….

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I have never been to Vegas and I have never cum in my pants out of excitement. I was thinking this morning while lying in bed hungover after a night of self-medicating at the strip club, that life would be better if you came your pants everytime you got excited, scared, sad, etc. I’m talking any emotion you bust nut. Think about it, you get in a car accident, you bust nut…the cops pull you over, you bust nut, you have a presentation to make in school or to your boss, you bust nut…you get in a fight at the bar, you bust nut. It would make everything really funny…something I wish MUNG was.

I went to Vegas when I was 17 because my parents paid for it and thought I needed an eye-opening, life-changing, experience. Most parents send them to summer camp but mine thought it would be a good idea to send me to Vegas with my buddy and his gambling addicted, alcoholic mother. Like most 17 year old boys, it was not a problem to easily achieve a rock hard boner from a Golden Girls rerun and now I was put in the middle of the city of pure sleaze. I was in my element. The lights, the sounds, and the hookers! It was my first experience ever seeing a prostitute and I instantly fell in love.

There she was! A figment of every 17-year-old-boy’s fantasy. She was wearing black whore stilettos, a tiny black mini skirt, and a sports bra. She was walking funny like she had just had her assnole reamed by a pool cue and she had bloody trackmarks up and down her right arm. Her hair was a mess because she just woke up at 2:00PM from her all night coke binge, and her it had traces of semen in it. Her jewlery was aboslutely gorgeous and it looked like it had been recently bought at the local dollar store. What a thing of beauty! Her mascara was running, her lipstick was fire-engine red and smeared, and she smelled like a mixture of tuna and pine-sol which was probably just rotten pussy and gin. I instantly came in my pants and will never forget that beautiful hooker I crossed paths with that day.

Completely and enirley unrelated to this story, here are some pics of Brittany Murphy.

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MUNG’s idea is like having a virtual visit to the art gallery, he is trying to add a little class to this piece of shit site, that for the record is way cooler than your piece of shit site. This is what he had to say….

Here is a picture that is awesome. I typed “mung” under google image search and this picture came up. It looks to me like a man smashing a pregnant woman in the stomach with a bat and the man on the end is getting the aborted fetus sprayed all over his face. At least thats what I see. Maybe we could make it a new segment on the webpage. You post a crazy pic like this on the site, and then we have the readers comment on what they think the artist is trying to say.

Just an idea you lazy fuck.

MUNG

If doing commentary on art isn’t gay enough, throw in art of men beating pregnant women to further explore MUNG’s deep hatred for women and desire for the cock. Unable to understand the erections he gets while watching the brokeback moutain sex scene over and over and over again he decides to write in this kind of shit. I post it – cuz let’s face it… I just got back and I am not feeling very creative today.

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