I am convinced that all of you guys who have actually got laid, have gone home with disgusting girls in your life. You know the kind you don’t want anyone you know to find out about, but for some reason everytime you do it, your buddies show up a 10 am to go out for breakfast or some shit, only to find you snuggled up to last week’s kitchen garbage of a girl. I would say the same thing about the girls who read this site, but those girls are the same fat chicks you guys are draggin’ home. I went through a phase years ago, where I would only bang ugly bitches, it was a sort of science experiment to see if “The Batch” from not getting pussy was more of a repellent to other chicks than the fact that I was rubbing up on all the “2’s” in the club….I never came to any conclusion, but I did get a male yeast infection out of it. Point of the story is that Kelly Osborne looks like last weeks kitchen garbage that she snuck up to her room and has been snackin on, like the ditch pig (of the day she is)….That’s my story.

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I am not a fashionista. I am pretty sure that anyone who reads this on the regular knows that. I don’t know anything about it and even if I did, I couldn’t afford to dress stylish. I have the everyday outfit that consists of a pair of royal blue jogging pants and a scrappy t-shirt that I have had for about 9 years, I got it for 2 dollars and it still looks great, even though it’s stained. I have a going to court outfit that is a pair of grey pants and a white shirt, red tie, and grey blazer. I look like a security guard from 1976 and it’s never got me off the crime. I have velcro shoes I got for 8 dollars and a winter jacket and about 10 construction plaid shirt I got at home depot of 10 dollars each…That’s really the extent of my closet. Now all the dudes reading this, I know you couldn’t care less about what I wear, and you are probably asking yourself if I have turned poofter on you. I haven’t, I was just proving a point. Now, I have been going to the strippers for MANY years, but a lot more often in recent weeks, for whatever reason. I have fallen in love twice, seen a girl insert four fingers in her babyhole and spent a lot of money that I don’t have. One of the career strippers there, that’s the kind with retarded implants and stripper outfits wears a pair of booty shorts and knee high chaps, which are like a hybrid leg warmer- pant. What they end up looking like is a space uniform from planet touch my tits for 10 dollars. Kimmy Stewarts boots are rockin’ the same vibe….only problem is she got her tits removed a couple of years ago. Good one Kimmy, you fucking dirtbag.

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I am not a fashionista. I am pretty sure that anyone who reads this on the regular knows that. I don’t know anything about it and even if I did, I couldn’t afford to dress stylish. I have the everyday outfit that consists of a pair of royal blue jogging pants and a scrappy t-shirt that I have had for about 9 years, I got it for 2 dollars and it still looks great, even though it’s stained. I have a going to court outfit that is a pair of grey pants and a white shirt, red tie, and grey blazer. I look like a security guard from 1976 and it’s never got me off the crime. I have velcro shoes I got for 8 dollars and a winter jacket and about 10 construction plaid shirt I got at home depot of 10 dollars each…That’s really the extent of my closet. Now all the dudes reading this, I know you couldn’t care less about what I wear, and you are probably asking yourself if I have turned poofter on you. I haven’t, I was just proving a point. Now, I have been going to the strippers for MANY years, but a lot more often in recent weeks, for whatever reason. I have fallen in love twice, seen a girl insert four fingers in her babyhole and spent a lot of money that I don’t have. One of the career strippers there, that’s the kind with retarded implants and stripper outfits wears a pair of booty shorts and knee high chaps, which are like a hybrid leg warmer- pant. What they end up looking like is a space uniform from planet touch my tits for 10 dollars. Kimmy Stewarts boots are rockin’ the same vibe….only problem is she got her tits removed a couple of years ago. Good one Kimmy, you fucking dirtbag.

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Here are some links that were either sent in or that we came across during the day. I am not the best of web surfers out there, but I do what I can under the circumstances, and by circumstances I mean staring at the wall and chatting with random dirtbags in various chat rooms. I don’t actually rock chat rooms, but feel like I should because it will be a little more entertaining than doing this for you and maybe then I’ll get a girl on webcam for a fucking change…..These links go out to all the haters…..That was my hip hop moment for the day.

Marilyn Manson out of Drag But Dita’s Disgusting
Sophie Marceau gets her panties in a twist (see-through)
Camp for Homos
Kelly Rippa’s Got a Stinkbox of a Cooter (something smells fishy)
Big Brother UK Contestants are Slags
Girls of Myspace Playboy Pics(none are all that hot)
Springbreak Girls Suck Bananas like they were Cock
Bai Ling’s Nipple – Picture 3 (yes, we’ve all seen it before)…
News Anchor Calls a Blind Guy Gay
Gena Lee Nolin’s Sex Tape (nice tit job weirdo)
It’s Attu’s 4 Year, Happy Bdaty Attu, my gift is in her bald Box
Steal a 12 year old’s cat and by cat I don’t mean pussy, pervert
Heather Graham Sex Scene Via Laxtime

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Here are some links that were either sent in or that we came across during the day. I am not the best of web surfers out there, but I do what I can under the circumstances, and by circumstances I mean staring at the wall and chatting with random dirtbags in various chat rooms. I don’t actually rock chat rooms, but feel like I should because it will be a little more entertaining than doing this for you and maybe then I’ll get a girl on webcam for a fucking change…..These links go out to all the haters…..That was my hip hop moment for the day.

Marilyn Manson out of Drag But Dita’s Disgusting
Sophie Marceau gets her panties in a twist (see-through)
Camp for Homos
Kelly Rippa’s Got a Stinkbox of a Cooter (something smells fishy)
Big Brother UK Contestants are Slags
Girls of Myspace Playboy Pics(none are all that hot)
Springbreak Girls Suck Bananas like they were Cock
Bai Ling’s Nipple – Picture 3 (yes, we’ve all seen it before)…
News Anchor Calls a Blind Guy Gay
Gena Lee Nolin’s Sex Tape (nice tit job weirdo)
It’s Attu’s 4 Year, Happy Bdaty Attu, my gift is in her bald Box
Steal a 12 year old’s cat and by cat I don’t mean pussy, pervert
Heather Graham Sex Scene Via Laxtime

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Consider this live Blogging. The fat idol is singing her new single. Who the hell wrote this shit. Probably a commitee, sitting a room saying “yeah love rhymes with dove, let’s wrap this up”. I know I am a pretty incredible wordsmith, that’s why all 3 of you come back week after week, but I could have wrote something equally shitty, but I didn’t because I am a loser behind a computer. Anyway, let me quote some of this Disney after school special soap opera shit that is coming out of her mouth:

You were always by my side, that you believed in me was enough reason why,
I didn’t stop, I didn’t give up, I did my best, I am blessed”…

My internet girlfriend sent me lyrics to a Kool Keith song that she’s been listening to and it goes like this

I used to grab honies by they neck, piss on they eyebrows
Open they rectum to throw the bombs down they asshole
BOOM! I blew them panties out the room

What I am saying is that there has got to be some kind of middle ground. Who the fuck wants to listen to this emotional garbage? Oh wait, I just remembered something, women and GAY PEOPLE fucking love this shit. They get all wet in their assholes thinking about lost loves and ex boyfriends and childhood pets that have since been put to sleep. They are the reason shitty movies like the Break Up are released. So point of the post is to say that despite how lame girls are, I still like to fuck them.

Alyssa Milano at the Break Up Premiere

Jennifer Love Hewitt at the Break Up Premiere

Stacy Keibler at the Break Up Premiere

Update: By the time I finished this post Taylor Hicks sang his new single – these are some of the words

“I’ve never been the one to raise my hand, that was not me, and now that’s who i am, because of you I am standing tall. My heart is full of endless gratitude, you were the one, the one to guide me through, now i can see, and I believe, it’s only just beginning. This is what we dream about…..”

blah blah blah, I just came all over my belly. It was THAT hot. Who writes this fucking shit. Jesus Christ. People need to stop supporting this feel good smut, because it is having a negative impact on our society. Nice choir though, I like the church touch, lets fuck everyone up the ass with a cucifix so all you guilt ridden southerners vote. Bible thumping cunts need to think for themselves. Point of all this, is to say that even celebrities drag their boyfriends out to shitty movies.

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I am watching the American Idol Finale. I just saw the fat girl sing her stupid song, and now the bar act is rockin’ out in a purple blazer. I am not entirely sure what type of bar he performed at, but obviously not a cool one. Paula Abdul is yelling at the audience right now and is obviously medicated or drunk. I know she denies it, but bitch is seriously fucking INSANE. Simon just dissed the gay blazer I dissed, I guess I am really not that insightful. Or maybe we both are and that’s why he gets paid 36 million dollars a season of Idol, and I get a fat welfare check and foodstamps. This post has got nothing to do with American Idol or my poverty, it’s about Liz Hurley in France for Cannes do some kind of photoshoot for a diamond company. This bitch always looks good, even as she gets older and fatter, and makes us all wonder why Hugh Grant was getting head from a tranny hooker when they were dating in the ’90s. I guess he’s just gay. Speaking of Gay, this american idol bitch is lying on the ground singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow, I am sure somewhere over the rainbow that is TV, every gay man watching is wiping a tear off their cheek. Speaking of Gay, her father just was shown crying…..maybe that’s why she’s fat.

Walking to the shoot….

Bonus: Liz Hurley Shows Off Some Leg in Purple

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Oprah just said that she brought Anderson Cooper’s book in the bathroom to read a couple pages but was so compelled that she sat on the toilet, hovering over her expensive shit for hours until she finished the book, or some shit. I stopped listening to what she was saying after thinking about her taking a shit and I have decided that talking about shitting on national television is pretty fucking gross, but not as gross as the buying a pair of panties for Michael Bolton to take off. Here is Nicolette Sheridan buying a pair of panties for Michael Bolon to take off, because they are a couple.

Bonus Action Shots: Kate Moss Running Out of Agent Provocateur (Lingerie Store)

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Oprah just said that she brought Anderson Cooper’s book in the bathroom to read a couple pages but was so compelled that she sat on the toilet, hovering over her expensive shit for hours until she finished the book, or some shit. I stopped listening to what she was saying after thinking about her taking a shit and I have decided that talking about shitting on national television is pretty fucking gross, but not as gross as the buying a pair of panties for Michael Bolton to take off. Here is Nicolette Sheridan buying a pair of panties for Michael Bolon to take off, because they are a couple.

Bonus Action Shots: Kate Moss Running Out of Agent Provocateur (Lingerie Store)

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