Since this is the home of Lohan, I have no choice but to post about her. Lohan is potentially the future mother of my baby, I want to pull a Kevin Federline on her ass, but only when bitch loses weight. I am all for bikini pictures, but get really turned off when I have to look at at fatty in a bikini, she’s got pretty big thighs, a gunt and mad cankles. This girl has A LOT of weight to lose, I hope she hasn’t given up on her workout program, diet pills and coke habit, because that’s really where all her appeal is, however, Lohan is in Mexico, I am from Mexico, I would say it was fate, but that would be fucking gay as shit, shit is only gay when the homos get it on their dicks after an intense ass-fucking session. Just so you know, you got some gay shit….

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Lohan, still has a few pounds to go before she hits her ideal weight, at least that’s what her doctors told me. I actually never met her doctors, but judging by her tits, she’s still packin’ heat. Her cocaine habit has done her some good, so let this be a lesson to all you girls out there with low self esteem and a negative body-image, just get yourself an 8-ball and everything will work itself out…you can be a rockstar for the day, and if you’re lucky, maybe you’ll lose that fat ass your boyfriend pretends he likes, because you are the only bitch dumb enough to fuck him.

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The wind is a man’s best friend especially when the bitch who gets caught in the wind is wearing a short skirt, not necessarily when Chloe Sevigny is that girl, cuz she is busted. It would have been nice if the movie kids was a documentary and bitch actually had HIV, which would be full blown AIDS by now and she’d be in a hospital bed, out of the public eye. She may not have AIDS but she looks like she’s got some kind of STD, but in this upskirt her underwear isn’t soiled. I am surprised she actually has underwear, from my experience most crackwhores sell that shit for more rock.

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Who the fuck is this bitch who has gone to prove my point that all bitches, no matter how fat they are, feel the need to wear see-through clothes, it’s like they don’t have motherfucking mirrors in their house, to warn them that it’s a bad idea. This bitch is going out for her birthday and decided to wear a sheer dress, lucky for us, she’s wearing underwear. Judging by her neck, no one in their right mind would wanna see this pussy and by pussy, I mean her vagina, and I have a feeling it smells like donuts…you like that don’t you, slob.

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No matter how much money you have, you can’t supress bodily functions. This bitch is sweating like a motherfucker and it’s not cuz she’s obese, it’s probably cuz she’s jacked up on diet pills or some shit, that’s all the rage in California and Paris has a few pounds to loose, that fat slut. I know – she’s pregnant and that’s why she’s getting married, a little shotgun wedding to save face for the family, I think Paris ruined that a while ago, when she was filmed fucking…you may remember that who ordeal, I doubt anything exciting has happened in your life since. Pregnant or not, she is not as fat as my stupid wife who sweats when she’s watching TV. Not that we can afford cable but bitch always finds a way….

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No matter how much money you have, you can’t supress bodily functions. This bitch is sweating like a motherfucker and it’s not cuz she’s obese, it’s probably cuz she’s jacked up on diet pills or some shit, that’s all the rage in California and Paris has a few pounds to loose, that fat slut. I know – she’s pregnant and that’s why she’s getting married, a little shotgun wedding to save face for the family, I think Paris ruined that a while ago, when she was filmed fucking…you may remember that who ordeal, I doubt anything exciting has happened in your life since. Pregnant or not, she is not as fat as my stupid wife who sweats when she’s watching TV. Not that we can afford cable but bitch always finds a way….

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Any boy loving pervert would be all over this shit, and by the looks of it so would this homo. An ideal situation would be to get with both the before and after – at the same time – but clearly only a fantasy you pervert – as it would be impossible – unless you had a time machine – which you don’t …at least you have your imagination and these pics, pervert! I get mad criticized for being a boy lover, because I like my girls skinny. I only like my girls skinny cuz I married fat and you always like what you don’t have. I figure if I get accused of the shit, I will act on it. All gay content all the time, you closet case fat chick loving cocksucker.

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I love Lohan, it’s just that simple. She looks better than ever and I would totally leave my wife for her, not because of her money but because of the love. I only tease her on the site about being a cokeslut and fat because I want her to notice me. Lohan can you hear me? That’s all I have to say about that – and if you look closely you’ll see nipple – you fucking pervert.

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I love Lohan, it’s just that simple. She looks better than ever and I would totally leave my wife for her, not because of her money but because of the love. I only tease her on the site about being a cokeslut and fat because I want her to notice me. Lohan can you hear me? That’s all I have to say about that – and if you look closely you’ll see nipple – you fucking pervert.

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I have recently applied for a job as the part-time summer editor at Fleshbot. I am pretty sure I am not going to get it because I never get anything I ever want and people generally hate me. They probably also require a university education, writing experience and all that shit. I don’t know how to fucking write…or what grammar is, except for maybe Kelsey, I used to role with that cat back in his coke days, before he married some stripper bitch with huge implants who was in Playboy about 10 years ago and I remember her having blonde pubes which is totally wild, anyway..point of the post is to get you to petition for DrunkenStepfahter.com to be the Fleshbot summer editor by emailing Fleshbot and tellin them what’s best for them.

This is the mail link

Read my application email – after the jump – warning – it’s not funny

To: jobs@fleshbot.com
from:info@drunkenstepfather.com
Subject:Fleshbot Job Application

Hello,

Welcome to my email. My name is Jesus Martinez and I blog for you. I have a website called drunkenstepfather and have had about 4,000,000 readers since I started in January. I am the best person for the Fleshbot because of passion, my passion for reaching out to people and making their life a little better. We live in a cold scary world and I am doing my part to make it a better place.

I believe that with the support of Fleshbot, I can achieve my dreams, I just need you to believe in me. Like every person with a dream, accepting the fact that I don’t have what it takes to make it on my own is the first step to getting there. The help of others, who have skills where I am seriously lacking, is needed to “take it up a notch�. Even Hitler had dreams and, without all the support of Germany would have never achieved them. I am not like Hitler, but I like to believe you are the Germany I would need if I was. I would write a sample blog entry, but I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise. However, you may want to check out your emails over the last 6 months, you are bound to find pictures and posts that you have linked to, including today’s Hung T-Shirts.

I look forward to your response,

Jesus Martinez

DrunkenStepfather.com

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