Do you ever get in situations where you bring a nice girl home and you just can’t get it up? I didn’t think so, you haven’t had that much sex in your life, and the opportunity to stick it in something warm and soft always keeps you ready. Unfortunately you never really get the chance because no girl in her right mind will bother with you. I have been in situations, almost weekly where my fat wife tries to get me to stick it to her. My small penis makes this hard, because her big ass acts as an unpenetrable wall, so I do what every forward thinking man does, I hook her up with one of these machines, the first time bitch sits on the thing, it collapses, I lose $1000 that I don’t have and I am back to square one, with bitch trying to rock my cock…..this is Sex Machine of the day.
The Joy Rider fucking machine
Grab onto the silver handle and fuck yourself to orgasm! The Joy Rider has an articulated seat specially designed to make it easy, fun and safe for people to experience penetrative sexual pleasure. The Joy Rider is smooth, stable so you can concentrate on the pleasure you deserve. The machine relies entirely on your body movement to do all of its thrusting. There are no motors to plug in or breakdown, and no noise. More importantly, because Joy Rider responds only to your movement, you have complete control so it’s like a lover that can read your mind. How it works?
The Joy Rider has a seat which rocks in response to your movement. As the seat assembly moves forward or back in relation to the base, the thrust control arms move the pivoting thrust arm assembly upward or downward in relation to the seat. Joy Rider comes with a removable vac-u-lock plug which can be used to attach any vac-u-lock dildo to the thrust arm. Our 8″ vac-u-lock dong is included. We also offer 2 other vac-u-lock dildos that can be used with the Joy Rider (see below).
Advantages: Because of it unique design Joy Rider has advantages other Machines Don’t
* Is lightweight (25 lbs fully assembled) and compact, making it easy to carry and store.
* Requires no electricity or complicated setup.
* Is completely silent, ensuring privacy.
* Features thrusting controlled entirely by your movement, so the speed and depth of penetration is easy for you to vary and bring yourself to orgasm as quickly or as slowly as preferred.
* Is perfect for anal stimulation. That part of the body is full of nerve endings and can be a wonderful source of pleasure. Because the Joy Rider is easy to control you won’t have to be worried about being penetrated too hard or too fast.
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So some bitch sent me in this t-shirt, and I figured that I would post it, not because I like it, but because I like submissions, and by submissions, I really mean submissive people. I work in a factory, where I am a bitch all day and when I come home, like any normal man, like to enforce my authority, because outside of work, I am in charge! I like to tie the bitch up and spank the shit out of her ass. I really only feel satisfied with my day, when I am single handedly responsible for a girl’s inability to sit for a week. This shirt looks like it was made by a drunk guy with no talent in his basement using feces, aint nothin wrong with that!
So the hottest thing to ever hit the internet is the ability to find like-minded people, people with similar interests, people who make you feel less alone. One of those communities is the Fleshlight Discussion Board and I love how these people have the need to share their stories about rocking the fleshlight, I think it’s something that should be kept underwraps, because it is something to be ashamed of. Think about it as rock bottom…the more you use this, the less hope you have in fucking an actual girl. Especially when you can only last 7 minutes! This is a post of some dude’s first time:
