Jessica Simpson has huge tits, there is no doubt about that. Her perverted dad even stated it in an interview, so it is nice to know that he is also checking them out. It’s also reassuring that he notices tits, considering he is some religious authority, which usually equates to some kind of nasty boy loving. If you were molested by your priest or another male of authority in your life, I apologize for bringing up the repressed memories, but seriously dude, you gotta get over that shit, it’s limiting you in everything you do….no baggage is good baggage, not even if it’s Vuitton…motherfuckers….

More after the jump bitches

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I am not a prophet, definitely not a priest, I am not here to tell you what is right or what’s wrong bitches, I am just here to show you what’s going on in the world and today’s lesson is in Wet Panties. There is nothing hotter than getting a girl to jump into the shower, after an evening of roofies, in nothing but a pair of nice white panties. The way the fabric clings to her body and gets all see through and shit. It is enough to make a straight man crumble, provided she isn’t way fat, because way fat is too fat for me. I came across this gallery, and bitch is passed out and getting rubbed down in some oil or something. I felt like it demonstrated her white panties – wet and see-through, just like they are supposed to be… That’s the motherfucking lesson, I never claimed it would be good. Asshole.

Check out the Gallery HERE

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This is the hottest shit to hit the candy store this year. It’s personalized lollipops, that we were lucky to come across at a local daycare. If you are curious what I was doing at a daycare, mind your own damn business, I was volunteering you pervert. We found this lolipop of some sick fucks molesting a boy, I figured you would all appreciate it because I am not convinced you aren’t into that.

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There is nothing classier than this man. He has so much money thanks to his nice fatty allowance, but he doesn’t feel the need to wear shoe laces, I guess it reminds me of the days back in college when he was living hard, in and out of jail and shit…I know, he didn’t actually go to college, but it’s a hell of a lot more interesting than telling a story of a trailer park boy, who ate lots of hamburger helper, who was molested by his daddy, who couldn’t afford shoe laces or toilet paper, who didn’t finish grade 9, who has an overweight mother who takes your order at the motherfucking local Carl’s Jr. Gotta love the drive through bitches. Anyway – Kevin, Britney’s baby daddy, is buying two packs of Marlboro’s, one for him and one for the baby, that’s just how they do in Welfare America.

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The coolest thing about being in a band is all the groupie bitches you get to fuck while on the road. There is nothing hotter to a woman than a man behind a guitar, and there is nothing hotter to a man behind a guitar than an 8-ball of cocaine, some whiskey and some nice dirty pussy. At every show the band has their pick of the finest quality pussy in the motherfucking place, not that I would know, I work in a factory. These pictures were taken after a concert, not to sure which one, but what I do know that this groupie bitch is busted, so she must be with the opening band, yo.

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Bondage is like love, only because bondage, like every good addiction superceeds love. It’s a weird obsession, where you are always seeking out the next hot PVC or Leather outfit, you know putting that shit on lay-away because you work at Dairy Queen, you poor fuck. Dressing up in a mask and getting chained to a medical harness to get spanked by your master is a pretty horrible position to die in.

Total Control Hood II

For all of you who have been awaiting the return of the all leather Total Control Hood, here it is! It’s back with a vengeance, too! This version of our all time fav, made of fine quality supple leather, has a complete lace up back which tightens oh so snugly! The eyemask and mouth guard buckle in place on the side for total control. The mouth and eye areas are finished open, in case you decide to use the hood with other gags or blind folds, also! All of this diversity and control for a great price!

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This is a hot fucking shirt and I don’t care if she’s got a fire crotch, I take what I can get. Does it remind you of that time you went on that vacation to the beach with the girl you wanted to spend the rest of your life with? You know the time you found that private part of the beach and frolicked around, tanning in each others arm, just like that scene in Cocktail where they go to the waterfall, don’t pretend you don’t know what I am talking about. I know you never went on that trip, and the last time you spoke to a girl who wasn’t a relation was a while ago, but at least you haven’t jumped off the bridge yet… I understand that we all like to be loved, we like to think that one day we will actually be in bed with someone we want to be in bed with, not our fat wife who takes up half the bed, not because she sprawls out, but because of the sheer size of her. Anyway – it doesn’t matter…point is this t-shirt is hot.

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Single people make me laugh, not because I laugh at other people’s misfortunes, which I do, but because they get so damn desperate. I am not talking hookers, because there is nothing wrong with that shit, it’s just capitalism, bitch has something you need, and with everything comes a price, whether it is time or money, so when a lazy man comes along, with a little extra money burnin a hole in his wallet, hiring pussy is not wrong. However, when you make vacation plans around hookers, you may have a bit of a problem, I am thinking maybe all your friends are married and have kids, with no interest in bringing their weird chronic masturbater along for their family trip to Disneyland, so you take it upon yourself to rock out at some whore infested beach resort, fucking different girls everynight, feeling like a fucking star…all I gots to say to that is fantastic great times, but you are definitely no star, and I won’t go into why you aren’t one, because I don’t want to push anyone to suicide…even when it is a great option for many.

Visit the site HERE

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The other day I was watching TV at my girlfriend’s house, and turned to the Discovery Channel in hopes of seeing people getting eaten by sharks. What do I get instead of bloody shark death? FIT-TV.

FIT-TV has no business on the discovery chanel, it should be on The Comedy Network. Once i started watching it, I couldnt get past the fact that there are hundreds of women, accross the country, jumping around in thier living rooms to some homo in bicycle shorts. Perhaps i am just jealous because this motherfucker has a TVshow, biceps, and a tropical backdrop, but I dont think so.

I think people who workout all the time are lame. Do they think it will get them laid? I weigh 140 soaking wet, and have a hard time carrying groceries to my car. However, my girlfriend is hot, and we have sex…on weekends…when its dark…and shes drunk. My point is, to quote fight club, “self improvment is just masturbation, but self destruction…now that takes a real man”.

So heres to drinking, smoking, drug abuse and having sex with hot chicks.

Team Fuck – Supporting The Little Guy.

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There is something amazing about breast feeding, I think it mainly has to do with the fact that I am a huge fan of dressing up like a baby and sucking on my wife’s tits, soiling my diaper, and having her change me while telling me how I am such a good little boy. I think this is also because I was neglected as a child, I don’t think I was breast fed at all and if I was, it was probably of poor quality. My mom was a crack addicted prostitute, I can’t imagine crack addict breastmilk having all the essential nutrients needed for baby to develop into an normal person. I have read stories that crack babies are born addicted, I guess I am lucky that I have no addictions, I only drink 26er of Jack and smoke a pack a day, dabble in various forms of drugs, mainly prescription pills, but I do it all recreationally, I guess I like recreation more than you do.

This is a video clip of some perverted, hungry baby and it gave me a great mid-afternoon erection.

Watch The Video Here

via WTFPEOPLE

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