Pirates was a movie. Keira Knightly was a star, but bitch never got naked. She rocked the corset, made out with Johnny Depp, but no motherfucking nipples. That’s not going to change today, but we get a little closer with this set of bikini pictures. This reminds me of the time I tried to get with this girl and she wouldn’t put out. She showed me her tits a couple of time and even let me touch them, but that only happened when the risk of me never talking to her came up….she let me have a little nipple to keep me around….that’s how girls work, so with that prediction…when we all get bored of Keira and when people stop biggin’ her up and giving her jobs, she will turn to porn and we will all be lucky enough to see her dirty cooter…..

More Pics After The Jump

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I don’t have a quality shot of what this looks like on a T-shirt but I can tell that it’s hot. It’s a naked girl dude, how could it not be hot. If you were to rock this all the bitches would be all up on you because girls are jealous creatures and wouldn’t understand why their naked image wasn’t on your shirt. That’s when you make the move and say bitch, we don’t need your naked body on my shirt, I need it on my face, and you will get your loser ass laid. It really is that easy. I am glad I could be of assistance in making your fantasies a reality. I expect you to buy this shirt and send me the motherfucking love story, I would also appreciate being invited to your wedding, because weddings are what lonely bridesmaids are made of….if that didn’t make sense, don’t blame me, blame the perscription pills I have been taking recreationally bitch.

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I don’t watch Amazing Race because I don’t own a TV. I have heard all about this show. It’s got an obnoxious host who knows martial arts and it challenges everyday people to do stupid shit that would be scary provided it wasn’t in a controlled studio setting. The fact is that you can’t die – but all these pussies freak out and choke, not making it to the $50,000 prize. Actually, I think I am wrong, Amazing Race is where people race around the world, whatever Fear Factor is cooler. The point is who really needs prize money when you have tits made out of silicone (saline) and a pussy trimmed like a pornstar….that’s right, we have Playboy for that. I came across these pictures and figured you’d want to see them, because you are sitting on your computer reading this shit, obviously not getting laid. It’s not your fault you’re a loser, we all have our strengths and weaknesses. I am sure you are good at something…….

Pictures In This Thread

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I was sent in this picture from my Aunt Agony. This bitch loves spanking, I think it has something to do with her memories of the orphanage where the nuns would go crazy on her ass. The only reason they did it was because they were so sexually repressed – I think Aunt Agony realizes this and channels her memories through her blog. The point of the story is spanking is hot, it’s not something that I am into, but I am sure if I met a nice hooker who was into that shit, I would have no choice but to cooperate. Hookers always manipulate me – I just can’t say no to quality poon. Spanking reminds me of my childhood too Aunt Agony…I think that’s why we have this bond….

Visit our Favorite Aunt HERE

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The Pope hasn’t even been dead for a week and there is already “Dead Pope Merch” hitting the Internet scene. This reminds me of every major sporting championship where both teams have merchandise made saying they are the winners before the actual game. Yeah, I am saying that this shit was probably in production 6 months ago waiting for the day to monetize on the dead pope. I have never fully accepted Jesus Christ into my life, however I expect all of you have accepted Jesus Martinez into yours….

Only $29.99 H0556
As low as $5.99 per month! (With Fingerhut credit)
An era has passed with the death of the most loved and respected Pope John Paul II. He had offered hope and inspiration to people around the world. Truly “The Pope of the People”, he was seen by more people than any other Pope. To honor his lifetime of dedication and service, this commemorative memorial coin was commisssioned and now released. This beautifully struck bi-metallic authentic Vatican 50 Lire Coin captures his praying likeness flawlessly. These coins are extremely rare and will never be minted again. The special outer memorial ring is richly layered with over 6 mils pure 24K gold and commemorates the year of Pope John Paul II birth, 1920. This historic creation is a legal tender coin tribute to his dedication and holiness and will be cherised by collector and his followers for decades. On the reverse, the holy door of St. Peter’s Basilica is commemorated. Opened only once every 25 years, millions watched as Pope John Paul II himself crossed the threshold to begin the celebration of the great year 2000 jubilee celebration. Coin comes enclosed in a velvet lined jewelry box, 3.3″ L x 2.8″W x 1ha.3″H.
This product is in stock!

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We are big DJ AM supporters. Not because he used to be fat, or because he can get us into all the hottest clubs, letting us brush arms with the likes of Lindsay Lohan and Tara Reid, but because he’s going to be inviting me to his wedding. AM is the main reason we always stay away from Nicole Richie pics, we have a lot of respect for her, not because of her past drug addiction, which is porno, or because she’s on TV, but because she makes us laugh, and that’s pretty rare. We don’t give a shit about her friend so we can say check out her tits, her shirt is almost see-through and bitch is wearing a bra. Who the fuck wears bras nowadays, if she’s hangin with Nicole she should know what’s up.

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We are big DJ AM supporters. Not because he used to be fat, or because he can get us into all the hottest clubs, letting us brush arms with the likes of Lindsay Lohan and Tara Reid, but because he’s going to be inviting me to his wedding. AM is the main reason we always stay away from Nicole Richie pics, we have a lot of respect for her, not because of her past drug addiction, which is porno, or because she’s on TV, but because she makes us laugh, and that’s pretty rare. We don’t give a shit about her friend so we can say check out her tits, her shirt is almost see-through and bitch is wearing a bra. Who the fuck wears bras nowadays, if she’s hangin with Nicole she should know what’s up.

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When trying to recover from a break-up/ break-down (I believe they occur in tandem), you will try anything to distract yourself from the major buck shot wound to the heart. That gapping hole needs any filler it can get. My break-up led me to various distractions: pills, slutty sex, all nighters, pseudo yoga spiritualness, trashy break-up novels, online dating, I even picked up the cute guy with the curly hair in Kinkos Print shop. Tried getting back to the basics, the whole looking in and searching for answers bit, however, I haven’t been able to fill this massive blast to my heart. Until now………..I have just picked up “How to smash everyone to pieces� by Mike Segretto (Contemporary Press). And I am learning how to smash everyone to pieces! Including my goatfucker ex! Now you try.

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I haven’t seen this movie, but I may. I don’t really do the whole tv/movie thing. It costs too much money and I don’t own a TV. I have been a fan of Jamie King for awhile. She’s a classy slut, the kind you would want to bring home to your wife and proposition a threesome with. These are screen shots from Sin City, where she appears naked.I never said they were good quality, but in the event you haven’t noticed, quality is not something we look for.

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