I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

22

Sep

I am – Kate Moss' Umberella Holder of the Day….

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I just wrote a joke that I think could be the next big thing in jokes. It goes like this….

A girl emails me telling me about how she busted her live-in boyfriend using the LPSG.org website. She told me that she found his profile name and went through some of his posts all of which were about how much he liked big dick and gay shit like that. So she confronts him asking him why he is on LPSG.org because she didn’t understand why he’d be there since he was below average in size. The only logical reason was to find himself a big cock of his own. Anyway. She sends me this myspace message saying that THIS DUDE has been chatting her up and since he had a 6-pack she took her fat ass to the kitchen and made some panty soup. Point of all this is to say dude has a kid but he’s a total fag with a shitty radio show (listen to his myspace “song”).

So here comes the joke I wrote that will be the next big thing in jokes and it goes like this….

Maybe fag’s are into to you because you are an asshole

Feel free to use it. So I guess you’re thinking, all that reading for absolutely nothing. My joke fucking sucked and you’re mad right now. Well just be happy that you aren’t Kate Moss’ Hired Umberella Holdin’ Slave. Even though he makes more money than us, holding a bitch’s umberella is like wiping the shit off an old lady with alzheimer’s ass because bitch keeps forgetting what it feels like to shit until it’s too late. Maybe that alzheimer joke is the joke that will be the next big thing….I just don’t know.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

22

Sep

I am – Kate Moss’ Umberella Holder of the Day….

KateMossUmberella005.jpg

I just wrote a joke that I think could be the next big thing in jokes. It goes like this….

A girl emails me telling me about how she busted her live-in boyfriend using the LPSG.org website. She told me that she found his profile name and went through some of his posts all of which were about how much he liked big dick and gay shit like that. So she confronts him asking him why he is on LPSG.org because she didn’t understand why he’d be there since he was below average in size. The only logical reason was to find himself a big cock of his own. Anyway. She sends me this myspace message saying that THIS DUDE has been chatting her up and since he had a 6-pack she took her fat ass to the kitchen and made some panty soup. Point of all this is to say dude has a kid but he’s a total fag with a shitty radio show (listen to his myspace “song”).

So here comes the joke I wrote that will be the next big thing in jokes and it goes like this….

Maybe fag’s are into to you because you are an asshole

Feel free to use it. So I guess you’re thinking, all that reading for absolutely nothing. My joke fucking sucked and you’re mad right now. Well just be happy that you aren’t Kate Moss’ Hired Umberella Holdin’ Slave. Even though he makes more money than us, holding a bitch’s umberella is like wiping the shit off an old lady with alzheimer’s ass because bitch keeps forgetting what it feels like to shit until it’s too late. Maybe that alzheimer joke is the joke that will be the next big thing….I just don’t know.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

22

Sep

I am – Young, Rich and Famous of the Day

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Do you ever wonder why some people are famous and you aren’t? I don’t really care about this Hollywood shit. I would like to have enough money to pay my motherfucking rent though and Hollywood seems like a really lazy way to do it. All you have to do is show up to events and such.

I know some of you fuckers are talking in the comments about how I have a 4 bedroom condo on the top of the mountain and that I am making all kinds of money off this shit that I am hiring hookers while drinking champagne and laughing at you fuckers for buying an 80stee. I want you to know that that isn’t ture and you should know that because let’s face it, how many 80stees have you bought since visiting me here? I know that I have more that 10 people coming to the site daily. I just know that the other couple of thousand of people just click in and leave. They don’t count as readers.

The dude who posted my Alexa Rank needs to understand that Alexa means nothing, it’s based on people who have Alexa toolbars on their computers. How many of you have the Alexa toolbar on your computer? I know I don’t. I was linked on collegehumor and a couple big sites this month and it had nothing to do with MUNG. I have been doing this a long time, sometimes I get 150,000 people a day, somtimes I get 5,000. That traffic doesn’t stick around for long it isn’t consistant and it doesn’t pay my fucking bills. This site is a complete fucking bust.

The solution is to me is to get American Apparel to sponsor the site. I want you fuckers to start emailing them demanding they support me.

All this is to say, that you should be happy where you are in life. You should not want to be these poeple. They are all a bunch of losers who take themselves too fucking seriously, but at least they can pay their fucking rent.

PS- I can’t believe people read Perez Hilton. Dude’s too ugly to be taken seriously, even on the internet. Not to mention the person he is calling out to feed Nicole should probably stop feeding him. I am a fat guy, But I’m not red carpeting it. They won’t let me.

Now, as MUNG would say, while biting my style, Go fuck yourself. Cuddles.

Someone Ran Over This Kardashian Bitch With The UGLY Armenian Bus

Carmen Electra

John Stamos Used to Change the Olsen Twins’ Diapers, and He Liked It…

Paris and Her Push-Up Bra

X-Tina and Her Implants

Nicky Hilton’s Tall-Guy of a Boyfriend

BONUS:


Watch the footage from Last Night – where Lindsay and Paris Hugged in Out and Perez is still a cunt.
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2006

22

Sep

I am – Nicole Richie Has Fun of the Day

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I have this new fantasy that when my wife dies, I start dating a barely legal girl or at least a girl who looks like she’s 15. Not because I am a ped or because I am nearly 40 and having a mid-life crisis and need this to make me feel alive againg, but because it makes for good comedy. I would coordinate it so that all our dates would be something little kids do, like getting ice cream, going to amusement parks, waterslides and the mall. I would get really dirty looks from moms my age, who would be at the same date spots with their daughters. I got this idea from my lawyer last night because one of the strippers had this tight pubescent body and was about 100 lbs. He said if you were to date her, knowing she’s 20, everyone would think she’s 15 and that you’re a pervert but it would be perfectly legal and I was all over that shit, Nicole Richie on cake.

Speaking of Fat Bitches. I feel like MUNG is my Nicole. I am giving him a fan base and an outlet to get famous, like Paris did for Nicole in the Simple Life. If he had started a site on his own a month ago, no one would give a fuck about him and he’d have all of 3 readers. But now you are about to read his story and write him fan email while leaving me in the fucking gutter to rot. Thanks for forgetting the original. Assholes.

THIS IS KIND OF A LONG ONE SO BEAR WITH ME PEOPLE

LAST NIGHT I GOT LAID WHILE YOU VIRGINS SAT ON THE INTERNET STALKING MYSPACE GIRLS. It had been 15 months since I had inserted my penis into something that I didn’t have to blow up first. Here is how it went down.

Patterson called me @ 10:30 last night and told me he had some wicked pot and that he wanted me to come over to smoke it with him. I was kinda nervous because I was thinking that he wanted me to pay him for the hash oil he gave me last weekend. He forgot because he is a stoner.

We smoked the pot and I was about to get up to leave because I didn’t want to sit around and listen to Wu-Tang Clan and reminisce about the good ol’days of high school, when all of a sudden he said “let’s go downtown”. I looked through my wallet and I had 11 dollars. “Sure” I said. So we hop in my 91′ Neon and head to the bar. I walked in and all of a sudden it hit me….I AM FUCKING HIGH AS FUCK. I don’t like to be in social situations when I am stoned. I become Helen Keller and talk with my hands and make grunting noises that don’t even come close to forming words. I ordered a beer from the bartender by using sign language and all of a sudden a girl walks up to me and says hi. This chick was absolutely disgusting and sorta looked like the Kool-Aid man because she was fat and she was wearing red pants and a red shirt. Patterson told her to fuck off and then said “Ohhhh yeah!” to her in the Kool Aid man voice. I nearly spit my beer out I was laughing so hard. She heard him but still continued to talk to me and offered to buy me a drink. I asked for a “Killer Kool-Aid” and Patterson nearly shit himself he was laughing so hard. After I downed the drink the chick looked at me and smiled. I think she roofied it because I woke up this morning in the East End of town, beside her naked, and my fingers and dick smelled like tuna flavoured Kool-Aid.

I hate myself and I am never hanging out with Patterson again.

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I have decided to go back to bed without showering because I kinda like the smell of tuna flavoured Kool-Aid, but first I have to decide what type of drug I want to do tonight. I downloaded Huey Lewis and the News’ “I Want A New Drug” and I am listening to it right now to inspire me. I don’t want to go next door and ask my veterinarian neighbour for “cat tranquilizers” because she will tell my parents and then they will kick me out of the house and I will become homeless and I will have to rent my mouth out as a place for homosexuals to stick their penis to make a living. I don’t want to call Patterson because he will lead me on another adventure downtown. So my brilliant idea is to try “whippits”. For those of you that don’t know what a whippit is, it is when you take a can of whipped cream and inhale the gaseous contents of the can and become clinically retarded for about 3 minutes. I have decided to buy 4 cans. Actually, I won’t be buying them because I have no money. I will be shoplifing. I will let you know how my adventure goes tomorrow.

Now go fuck off,

MUNG


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2006

22

Sep

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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Some girl was just talking to me on MSN and said that she’d be right back. Three minutes later she came back and said she went to masturbate. Under normal circumstances I’d know bitch was lying, but this time I know she was being honest. I thought 3 minutes was too short a time to make yourself cum. Unless you are one of my readers who cums at the sight of a vag, I just don’t get it.

I went to the strippers again tonight. I went with my lawyer. After last week’s fun, we decided to make it a weekly event. I liked seeing how the white girls were lazy and jacked on drugs trying to get through the dances and the black girls came up on stage and ripped it. They were doing the splits, cartwheels and fucking pole tricks that I had never seen in my life. It was like seeing someone who was really in their element, like a pro athlete playing against a highschool gym class. I am drunk right now, but figured out that it’s because as a little girl the black girl aspires to live the glammed up stripper life and now that she’s 18, she’s living her dream all while the white girls feel like shit for being a stripper and every dance brings her deeper and deeper into guilt ridden shame, thoughts of how her life went wrong.

This is not a race issue, just an observation. I like my strippers to be into it, so stop putting words in my mouth…and fuck yourself and Fuck My Links…


I don’t Understand These Pictures – But They Are Naked
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Couple Fucking On the Beach
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Here are some sexy videos for you….assholes
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Some Pictures of Random Things For you To Look At
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Mila Jocovich or whatever the fuck her eastern european piece of shit name is ….was never hot
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Some Bitch Flexing For You
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The Trump Family….I am Really Feeling the Retarded Older Brother, But Only Cuz I Love When Bad Things Happen To Rich People…
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Japanese People Know How To Entertain, IF Eating Raw Fish, Having 3 Inch Penises and Scat Porn is Entertaining to You…
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Necro’s I Need Drugs Video
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Fergie is in Shape Because of All the Meth. Bitch Used to Smoke that Shit and Benchpress the Tour Bus..
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CFNM Means Clothed Female Naked Male. It Hit the Porn Scene a Few Years Ago and I don’t Get It – I think they got this shit backwards….Right.
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Vida Guerra’s Tight Pants of the Day
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Chyna the Wrestler Sex Tape Screen Caps
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Fighting on the Beach is Gayer Than Fucking In the Bath House…
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This Bitch’s Name is Nadya. Communist or Not. She’s Still Naked
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This is one of my reader’s sites. I didn’t check it out and neither will you….
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User Submitted Link That I Didn’t Check Out Yet.
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Jack Osborne Wears Pink Panties in Honor of His Pig of a Sister
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This Girl Is Flexible. You’ve Already Seen This.
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Nice Skirt – Fatty…
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Angelica Bridges is a Slut
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The Dead Baby Story of the Day
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This Site is Ripping Off My Content
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This Jaws Shirt is Green – Buy It
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Rachel Hunter Upskirt
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Rose Petals May Be Romantic but Don’t Make the Bitch Any Less of a Slut
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Watch Roger’s Video
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2006

21

Sep

I am – Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 Words or Less of the Day

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This is my first Draw Your Vadge entry in months. I remember when I came up with this idea. I thought it was going to be huge. But it seems like girls aren’t into drawing or describing their vaginas. It also seems like none of my ideas really work out for me. I always get them at random times and get all excited about them and when I try to implement them I fail. But this one was different, I was sure that whole Vagina Monologue shit would have paved the way for girls to draw their vadge and describe it in 10 words or less.

All this to say that this is probably the best submission to date. This is the kind of shit I would put on a fucking t-shirt. The artist is unknown but talent. This could be an underage box drawing, so keep that in mind when you jerk off tothis art. TO think your teachers all said you weren’t cultured….

See More Here stepBOX Entries Here

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2006

21

Sep

I am – Fergie is a Meth Addict, Look at her Bra of the Day

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I have some funny Meth stories about kids around here who used to smoke it in the park. They used to grind down lightbulbs using their skateboard grip tape until there was a little hole. Then they would smash out the black glass and the bottom of the bulb and pull out the element that makes the light bulb work. Then they would smoke the shit. I’d see them about 6 months later, a lot skinnier and sickly with their eyes buggin out of their heads. Talking to them was always funny because they were convinced that they were insanely productive and didn’t need sleep. They would brag about how they were up for 8 days and keeping busy. They’d lecture me on being a lazy pig cuz I would pass out drunk in front of them and they ran around in circles with all this fucking nervous energy until they got their next hit for the pipe. It was kinda sad but a lot a lot more annoying, because I hate high anxiety people. I can’t think of any of those funny stories of the meth kids, but I know they are in here.

In the meantime, check out Fergie from TRL. I have heard nothing but good things about this drug and Fergie is proof that it doesn’t ruin your life. She may look like a busted up tranny with AIDs but you all wanted to fuck her last year so fuck you for changing your tune. Homo.

PS – Two Finger Rings are Gangster and Peace Signs are Gay

PPS – I forgot what my PPS was going to be. But it probably had to do with me telling you to go fuck yourself and such…

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2006

21

Sep

I am – Nicole Richie Is Fat of the Day

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I met Nicole Richie once. I am not writing this to sound like I am a celebrity fucker or to say that I’m so hooked up or cool. Because let’s face it, there’s nothing cool about Nicole Richie and if I was hooked up, I wouldn’t be typing this shit to you. It was all just a big mistake that ended up with me and her being carted around with her bodyguards.

In the beginning of her Simple Life career, when she was a recovering heroin addict who replaced the heroin with donuts, because addicts always replace one addiction with another, and her addiction then was eating and now it’s not eating or over exercising, but that’s not what I wanted to get at because I am not some kind of psychoanalyst.

I wanted to say that she was edited proper on the Simple Life show and they made the world think she was a funny and reckless person who pranked everyone she came across. She was the funny fat girl who had her brain going for her and nothing else. After meeting her last summer, I realized that shit’s all a lie and that the producers of the show are fucking with all of us. She’s exactly what you think she’d be… a fucking retarded ditzy piece of shit. I am not going to lie, when the promoters mistakenly thought I was DJ AM and Nicole Richie’s Montreal friend, I liked the free cocktails they kept handing me. But everytime I tried striking up conversation with the slut, she looked back at me with empty and confused eyes like I was speaking to her in another language while dressed like a clown and dancing a jig. If you don’t get what I am talking about here, I am talking about the way a 20 year old sexually frustrated retarded person looks at a girl in a bathing suit at the public pool on a hot summer day….I’m talking public masturbation and awe, cuz that’s just what retards do. I remember telling a retard on a work program I was part of that one of the girls had a nipple ring and they caught him in the entrance rubbing on out to her “employee of the month” picture.

Either way, she was well on her way to skinny and she looked hot and still does. She just takes a bad picture. I admit have no standards, but think that you’re ugly so figure that one out….

Speaking of Ugly, here is MUNG’s best post to date. I actually read it. I don’t agree with what he’s saying and think that calling her too skinny is played out but you guys can decide. The other thing I have to say is that Tim Horton’s is a coffee shop and a double double is redneck Canadian for 2 milks and 2 sugars. Just sorting it out. Now here’s MUNG.

Nicole Richie makes me sick. Now, when I am talking about sick, I mean throwing up bile and blood, and shitting liquid out of my anus. I swear I saw her on Sunday morning sitting in a pile of sand with flies buzzing around her eyelids while Alex Trebek and Sally Strothers were telling me that “for the price of a cup of coffee per day, I could help support the starving in Africa”.

You know what?… I would rather let this bitch die while I sip on a large double/double from Tim Horton’s. Who the fuck does she think she is, getting d-list celebrities to ask me for money to help save her. I hope the flies eat her, and her body starts eating her stomach lining and when she dies from starvation I will use her bones as windchimes in my backyard.

I don’t have a backyard, but a motherfucker can dream can’t he???

Fuck this stupid bitch and the horse she rode in on.

Now go fuck off.

MUNG

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These are pics from the Estee Lauder Event Yesterday Afternoon

These are pics from the Teen Vogue Event Last Night

These are pics from 2 days ago

And These are pics Mung Sent in from God Knows When….

Remember Ladies… Put that burger/cake/tub of ice cream cuz your sad – down….There’s no such thing as too skinny….

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2006

21

Sep

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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Paris Hilton hates me. I and I hate my links and I havn’t been getting fan mail. I can only assume you are getting bored of this repetitive site. I know I am.


Lots of Hot Music Videos for you to Dance to, Dancer.
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This Video Scares The Fuck Out of Me
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Christina Ricci has Lesbian Sex with Resse Witherspoon
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Lohan’s B-Day Pics from This Summer
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stepSITE of the Day – ORSM
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Not So Sexy Girl doing the Chicken Dance…
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Lightspeed Girls Get a Detention
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Some Bitch’s Bloopers
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Girl in Short Shorts Dancing
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Lookin Good Sweetheart (picture 2)
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Andrea Corr See Through
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Ashlee Simpson’s New Face
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Kate Moss Visits Pete Doherty in Rehab…
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Celebrity Gossip and Such Can Be Found Here
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Kelly Hu in Lingerie or Something Like Lingerie
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I think the real kicker is that someone actually banged this bitch. I’m thinking one night stand gone bad..
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stepSITE of the Day: EHOWA
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Steve-O Jerked Off on Nicole Richie’s Back When She Was Sleeping.
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x17 Is Getting Sued By Slag Cameron Diaz or Something. They Never Link My Site and Threaten To Sue Me For Using Their Pics. But I like to root for the underdog. Go x17 and Thanks for all the pics…
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Some Sexy Finds From Zini
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Looks it’s the Etnies Catalog, I am linking this to see if they send me shoes..
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Baja Shirt of the Day
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This is Myspace for the Cool Kids…Get in Line…I’ve Got 5 invites…
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Scientology Baby – I don’t Get the Joke, But I link Everything
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I have no idea what this I SAW YOUR NANNY site is but I link Everything…
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Last Night’s Party Video from Fashion Week
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Shakira and Her Boyfriend
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Cindy Crawford Exploits her 10 Year Old Daughter By Making Her Model Bikinis (NSF-Anywhere Pervert)
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LPSG Is Hysterical. This is some dude from Singapore Asking About Evacuating Fecal Dregs. I don’t know what that means and that’s why I laughed.
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Mandy Sellars Has Booty
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Since you don’t Get Laid, You’ll Appreciate this…
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Attu Likes Boobies and So Do I…
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2006

20

Sep

I am – Drew Barrymore Goes to the Gym of the Day

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This just in…. Drew Barrymore goes to the gym because she’s a fat dumpy bitch. And this has been my shortest post ever.

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2006

20

Sep

I am – Lily Allen is a Ditch Pig of the Day

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Has this bitch hit the USA yet? Some dude sent me the album months ago and since I don’t have a TV, I’ll never know. I think a lot of ppl are listening to her shitty music and she’s becoming famous and making money. That upsets me. I know that this heffer is just going to get bigger and bigger, until her head is too big for her fat ass, but that’ll take a while considering her ass has a pretty healthy head start.

I am happy that she’s the type of person who is so fucking busted that no one bother’s asking her for an autograph or stops to say hello or freaks out screaming like she was New Kids on the Block in China back in ’90, because I hate her. The only person who actually gives her any attention is some Paparazzi motherfucker who is just trying to make some money for the day to buy his baby some formula, and she’s the only famous person around, and this cunt is giving him the finger. I guess she wants to pretend that she’s so annoyed of the constant harassment in trying to save celebrity face. It’s would probably work against her to show her real excitement, like a kid who’s just been reunited with his deadbeat dad after he ran out on the family 20 years ago. Or like when you land a pussy and bring her home, you can jump up and down thanking god for making this happen, but the second bitch sees that, she’ll be fucking her way out your front door and to some other booty call’s house.

If you are wondering why I hate her, it is because she’s too ugly to be successful and like all fat bitches pretending to be wanted by all the boys and how she rejects them, or publically saying her ex boyfriend who cheated on her’s got a small dick, in her songs is all very transparent. She’s just a sad fat ugly girl no one ever noticed and the only guy she ever got was with her cuz she was a better option than rubbing one out. All he had to do was call and pretend that he cared.

I have written too much on this whore.

Here She is Dressed Like a Clown…

Here’s a Song Called Shame For You, It’s About How A Dude Cheated on Her and How It’s His Loss, Like When a Talentless Freak Tells Simon on American Idol – That She’ll Be Famous and He’ll Be Kickin’ Himself.
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Here’s a Song Called Littlest Thing About How Happy She Was Before She Found Out She was a Fat Booty Call and when she Thought He Really Loved Her…
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Here’s a Song Publically Outting her Ex-Bfs Shortcomings in the Bedroom. I Guess That’s The Best Type of Revenge to Help Heal a Wounded Bird. I call This THe Fat Chick Anthem for the Year. Not dick is big enough for a girl with a huge cunt.
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2006

20

Sep

I am – stepMUSIC: Lily Allen – Not Big

Click on the PLAY button. Or, RIGHT CLICK here and SAVE AS to your computer, and then OPEN after the download completes.

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2006

20

Sep

I am – stepMUSIC: Lily Allen – Littlest Things

Click on the PLAY button. Or, RIGHT CLICK here and SAVE AS to your computer, and then OPEN after the download completes.

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2006

20

Sep

I am – stepMUSIC: Lily Allen – Shame For You

Click on the PLAY button. Or, RIGHT CLICK here and SAVE AS to your computer, and then OPEN after the download completes.

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2006

20

Sep

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I was talking to some girl from Singapore who reads this site…this is the conversation and she’s got nothing to do with the girl in the above picture…

Her:

do you know how many ppl complain when i refer them to your site
they tell me like trash ppl like you should be dead
cause you think your dirty words make you sophisticated
when it doesnt

Me:

what are you talking about?
when have i ever said i am sophisticated
you’re just a bunch of immigrants who don’t get what’s up

Her:

immigrants from?

Me:

not north american or europe
your part of the world is not for me
you aren’t even human to me

Her:

thanks alot

Me:

the way you speak the english language, the music you listen to, everything you do is so immigrant.

Her:

Bye

That was boring and so are these links…


Kelly Brook in Lingerie…
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This is some Young Yotube Slag Stripping
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Same Girl Doin’ it Again…
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And Again…..
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I don’t know what this is a gallery of or if you can access it….
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Girls Gone Wild University Coming Soon….
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Joe Simpson is Paparazzi
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This is some dirty bag model named Daniella Urzi lookin Hot…
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Here are some Hospital Pics of Lohan:
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Ronaldo’s Ex-Wife Having Sex and Grabbin’ Her Boyfriends Cock on the Beach and in the Ocean. They are Brazilian so she’s really a tranny with AIDs…Just how it goes down…..
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Someone wrote this about her: she has a face to make you gay, but an ass to bring you back.
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Paparazzi Would Annoy the Fuck Out of Me
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Keeley Hazell Has Ugly Fucking Friends. Typical.
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San Francisco Music Conference
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Get in line….for the next Myspace
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This dude doesn’t have me in his blogroll – Fuck Him
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Some Bitch Posing Like A Turkey…Bitch is Naked..
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Here is some Found Porn that wasn’t meant to be porn…
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Some German Bitch Named Regina Deutinger in Oktoberfest 2006 Playboy
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Funny Picture of the Day
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Asia Argento Pulling a Thong Out of Her Ass for You
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Porno Sound Effects Guy
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Dude Caught Trying to Record His GF Fuck Him…Looks fake and is old
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Lots of Celebrity Bitches In Compromising Postions
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Vampire Wedding Pictures…..Weird as Shit….
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This is the Playboy Model Aaron Carter Proposed to and is Slated to Marry in the Next 6 Months. Naked.
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Willie Nelson’s Gone and Got Himself Busted for Drugs
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Nice Tattoo Ex Meth Addict
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I love this post your ex girlfriend in compromising positions shit. I’d never do it, but love looking at the pics you jealous bastards post
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Famous Rappers in the VIP Room
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Some call this winning the lottery…I call it every weekend
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Anna Nicole Smith’s Son is Still Dead…
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There is a New Energy Drink Called Cocaine
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Fergie Tells Fags to Quit Meth
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Rosario Dawson’s Tongue…
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stepSITE of the Day
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Another Dan From Roseanne T-Shirt
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Add Me To Myspace
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