DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

02

Nov

Zippora Seven Naked of the Day

Zippora Seven is some hipster fashion nude model from New Zealand…because with a name like Zippora Seven you can assume that her Hippie parents weren’t too conservative about her running off and being naked, if anything they raised her on some commune…where everyone was naked…doing the cult life….at least that’s the impression she wants to give you…maybe her name isn’t even Zippora…and it’s all lies…which would make the most sense in this thirsty, trashy, dying for fans and likes world we live in….but at least she’s doing the “I have a bush, real tits and go to festivals in vintage panties” angle…and not the Kardashian sugar baby with fake faces angle…this is a better look….

From what I remember about her, is that she’s been getting naked as a model since she was 15 or 16…up on some TRACI LORDS shit, but for fashion not porn…and that it was for actual magazines not instagram accounts…so I feel her nipples are more authetic…more real…more deserving of being looked at…and not as desperate or lame as other nippples tend to be in this nipple for attention existence we live…

Posted in:Zippora Seven

2016

02

Nov

Emmy Rossum Sex Scene of the Day

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Emmy Rossum is the fucking worst and not just because she blocked me on social media, everyone blocks me on social media…but because she’s just a garbage celebrity who isn’t even that hot – but thinks she is…

I know, she gets naked, but it’s not even exciting…and seeing her fuck on Shameless – bores me…maybe when it first happened, back when it was the best thing that ever happened to her – in a time when she was just not hitting the mark or booking jobs – and this get naked and fuck for a TV show in an era where that’s the best thing that could happen to a career – since sex on TV, something I’ve been endorsing forever, has been the only thing people watch…giving her that ego she always had – but that was a little tarnished when it wasn’t working out for her…not that you care – you just want to see her fuck scene…you perverts with no standards or taste…I hate you.

Posted in:Emmy Rossum

2016

02

Nov

Kate Moss Does a Campaign of the Day

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Kate Moss is old, fat, beat up, likely STD ridden, from the last 30 years she’s survived as a rockstar fucking, partying, single mom living the life of luxury…as a top model…traveling the world in all the exclusive places and events all while looking like she crawled out of a very fashionable dumpster…and I’ve loved every thing about her from the minute I first saw her…she was just the rockstar, skinny girl, heroin chic goddess who acted like she didn’t give a fuck, because she probably didn’t give a fuck, she was getting paid and invited everywhere…just for being Kate Moss..and she’s still iconic…people still love her…and I just want to see more of her really long nipples.

I generally don’t love old, fat, beat up, likely STD ridden, from the last 30 years of living on a woman…I still fuck them if I can…or let them sit on m face..but the fact is that I don’t like women who are 30 years old…but this one is special…a survivor who still looks good to me….better than most…even in shitty shoots because she’s Kate Moss…

Here’s the video:

Posted in:Kate Moss|SFW

2016

02

Nov

Monster Hayley Hasselhoff Tits of the Day

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I am still not done with Halloween, but since it’s 50 percent off all the candy, I’ll give some discount bargain basement slutty halloween costume tits…not quite good enough to be retail price…but still tits.

In my glory days I once body shamed Hayley Hasselhoff because she’s a porker, fat as fuck, fully worthy of being body shamed, despite possibly being loved by her dad, a man who created a world with unrealistic female objectification, where she’d be laughed off the set, even with them big tits, provided she even made it on set…because he’d probably take a blowjob from her on the casting couch….and never call her back…that’s how girls built like this, when they don’t have that BAYWATCH trust fund….\

I guess what I’m saying is that I’m sure she’s a fucking disappointment everytime his superficial, vain, drunken ass looks at her….that’s the reason I never had kids was this fear that they’d be fat ugly trolls, I mean that and any girl willing to have my kid would be a monster with a whole lot of issues…I know every once in a while ugly people have good lookin’ babies, in some sort of Karma for always feeling like shit about yourself, and allowing you to feel proud of something, by having the prettiest girl in the school, but Karma’s never been too good to me, leading me to believe I’d end up with some kind of legless mutant that I’d be forced to drag around.

Based on these pictures, maybe David Hasselhoff shoulda had the same intuition because these girls belong back in the abortion clinic dumpster, the home they never got to visit because some asshole decided to let his wife keep them and take them away from a much better fate….but before they revisit…put them big tits in my mouth.

I’m so mean, she didn’t ask to deserve this…when wearing a see through shirt for the paparazzi – knowing they would take pics of her…oh right…she did.

TO SEE ALL THE CELEBS AT HALLOWEEN MEGA POST YOU PERVERT COSTUME FETISHISTS CLICK HERE

TO SEE ALL THE CELEBS AT HALLOWEEN MEGA POST YOU PERVERT COSTUME FETISHISTS CLICK HERE

TO SEE ALL THE CELEBS AT HALLOWEEN MEGA POST YOU PERVERT COSTUME FETISHISTS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Hayley Hasselhoff

2016

02

Nov

Emma Watson’s Cleavage for the Harry Potter Perverts of the Day

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Emma Watson creeps me out, partially because she’s not all that hot – yet is considered a massive and important star in the Hollywood system, with fans everywhere, but she mainly creeps me out because those fans are Harry Potter fans who have watched her grow up, playing their love interest in their favorite books, and feel some sort of connection to her.

I am convinced that when she was 12 and pre-pubescent, these creeps were all about her, maybe they weren’t jerking off to her at 12, but they were anticipating her turning 18, so that they could jerk off to…wondering how big her tits would grow after puberty (not very big) and other equally uncomfortable shit…

So whenever I see her either nude in movies, or at events showing some little cleavage because she’s got little tits, I think to myself…just how much cum has been spurted onto lonely, pathetic, sad bellies because of her…and it repulses me..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Emma Watson|SFW

2016

02

Nov

Bella Thorne’s Cheerleader Ass of the Day

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Here’s a terrifying image Bella Thorne showing the world her ass because it’s Halloween and even when it’s not Halloween that’s what she does…so based on that fact along…I am suprised she’s not spreading her asshole for the world to see, you know to really make a shocking “It’s halloween, look how crazy I am”….but then again she’s from a strategic family who have crafted their kids to be puppets and they know that that asshole shot is worth gold…

There was a time in the porn industry – when an anal scene was an upsell..it was build the girl up for a year or two banging her out and when a cash grab was needed…do anal, but in this internet porn era of all girls doing anal on the first casting call, because porn chicks are porn chicks for a reason, and anal is mainstream….the do it for the same price as vaginal…totally degrading the value of anal…

I guess Belle Thorne realizes the most basic sales tactics in what she does, something these dumb new porn chicks who want to be in porn so bad and think it’s a challenge or achievement to get into porn, when really anyone can do it…they are just dumb….

So no free anus for you, but I figure that makes you want her more and that makes her asshole worth more, because she’s not handing out for free.. Strategic…

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2016

02

Nov

Lindsay Lohan’s Accent is Amazing of the Day

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This is so fucking good….

Lindsay Lohan has lost the command of the english language, because she’s an identity crisis, trying to be international….because she pretends that she speaks or understands Greek, Turkish, Italian and Arabic….and in that she has shape shifted her way into communicating like of of her accented friend…because they are the only people who really care about her or put up with her, it’s the Euro love for American pop culture, and she embodies it and fills their rich person life up with great joy….but anyone who knows anything about linguistics knows that after the age of 7, it’s pretty hard to break down any accent you have, you have to really work at it. I went to school with a British kid and an Australian kid and they had those accents until they were in their 20s…and to lose an accent involves serious work…but in this case…it’s not losing her american accent, it’s picking up some weird ethnic broken english, like she didn’t speak english her entire life…

This reminds me of when my Jewish neighbor orders chinese food, or talks to Haitians on the bus, he always rudely speaks to them in broken english as if he’s mocking her…it’s just nonsense…it’s not his real accent, he just thinks they understand him better when he speaks like they speak…even if it’s condescending, borderline racist…and hilarious….

It also reminds me of the Italian immigrants in Montreal, where I live…because they are raised to speak broken Italian at home, broken english at home and broken french at school..making a spot on Lohan sounding accent, only that’s how they speak…that’s not them being a broken down actress…acting…

I think the real highlight of all this is Long Island born, Disney Raised, broken down starlet considers herself “Italian” and “Irish” more than American…despite her parents being the embodiment of American trainwreck…

If anything this is just representative of how fucking lost this soul is…now…show us more tits.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

2016

02

Nov

Holly Horne Naked of the Day

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Holly Horne is a british “actress” at least that is what she wrote on her not so followed instagram – after much research – because I am an investigative journalist who digs to the bottom of the lies instagram fame whores trying to get famous tell – in their delusional low level – self starting – DIY whoring to get noticed….because they actually believe they are actresses and have the confidence or delusion to say it…in a fake it til you make it – this is a new generation who don’t actually need to have been hired to be an actress…but rather they just “will” it and it materializes…right…

But she’s got an IMDB…which is better than what she had last time I looked her up…and it has 3 credits and they are all shit…but they are still there…so she can now be official on her “acting”…she’s made it…and will just keep on making it…because if she believes…everyone else will…

I guess it is all because she’s managed to get to the 25,000 on the social mark – doing low concept “art” that isn’t actual art…but rather nude pics…because nudity is art..right?….or maybe nudity is just what it’s always been….jerk off material..and art is just what you all convince yourself you’re doing…because whoring for likes sounds less substantial…or less accomplished or refined…

This is a nude shoot, where you can see her pussy lips…cuz she’s an actress…you know just living the life…and letting you watch…even if it seems to be pretty much as contrived as if fucking comes…

For a pervert like me…it’s a good kind of contrived.

Posted in:Holly Horne

2016

02

Nov

Best Tits Ever and Other Videos of the Day

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Couple fucks for an Office

Weird Vegan Protest

Fat Chick Steals Candy

Uber Driver Pulls a Gun in New Orleans

Another Fat Chick Steals Candy

Sucker Punch in South Beach

Halloween Fight at Dennys

Dude Stabs a Girl at a High School…the Girl Died

Posted in:stepNEWS|Videos

2016

02

Nov

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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I like to pretend that girls send me nudes – because girls like when old perverts jerk off to them…but the reality is that I only get nudes when girls accidentally slip up on their snapchat due to wet fingers and CC me on the shit….which happens infrequently…but at least once a week…satisfying the half erection I get a week…

So girls…keep on slipping up…Here are some stepLINKS….

Girls in Flannel cuz it is Cold
CLICK HERE

Amelia Earhart is BEleived to have Survived for Months on a Desert Island…cool story bro
CLICK HERE

Nicole Scherzinger Hot Cleavage
CLICK HERE

The Steal your Kids Candy Complitation
CLICK HERE

Guy Trained 12 Years to Make This Flip..
CLICK HERE

Blac Chyna Will Give Birth on Camera…
CLICK HERE

Louis C.K. on Hillary Clinton…
CLICK HERE

Girls Reading / Posing with Books is Hilarious
CLICK HERE

Posted in:stepLINKS