DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2016

11

Nov

Kristen Stewart’s Lesbian Tits of the Day

Kristen Stewart is topless in some movie called personal shopper….which means you can see her lesbian tits – that aren’t for you penis wielding perverts – no matter how big of a fan you are of her as a Twilight actress – love interest I think isn’t that hot, totally overrated….possibly inbred…but when tits are involved, because she’s just that committed of an actress, she’s that into her role and maybe even that “feminist” since they are just tits – and to show tits is feminist…it means you aren’t sexualizing the tits – even when you’re sexualizing the tits…you men are such pigs…the reason she’s run to the pussy eating life…the same pussy eating any of her fans probably imagine her doing when they jerk off to her….

I think this is the most naked I’ve seen her…and that may not be a good thing, or an accomplishment, or even exciting…but it’s better than not seeing her naked…or is it?

I guess this brings up the age old question….of ‘I’ve seen your tits now show me labia”…when it is pulled away from the slimy vagina it’s scissoring I guess…

Posted in:Kristen Stewart

2016

11

Nov

Jessica Biel in a Bikini of the Day

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Jessica Biel in a bikini showing her mom ass – that is aging as mom asses do – but that has some solid muscle memory that despite slowly sinking into itself, is still round and magical as it was when she first started dating her Husband Justin Timberlake – while she’d just stick around at home working out everyday as he toured for the family – because that’s what love is about – dude goes out there and makes millions – while bitch stays home doing squats, never hounding him – to throw away the lottery ticket / meal ticket – that despite a crazy pre-nup is still lucrative as fuck for her…as long as she just maintains that ass as long as she can…we’re talking until she’s old enough todo the granny BumBum contest. Her finances depend on it.

I’ve never really been a fan, but this isn’t about me, it’s about playing find the cellulite on this fitness addicted actress in her bikini at 35 years very old for a girl.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jessica Biel|SFW

2016

11

Nov

Lily McMenamy Hairy Tits by Juergen Teller of the Day

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Lily McMenamy is the daughter of some other model named Kristen McMenamy and some famous Tunisian night club owner from Paris…

Her stepfather, and we all love stepfathers is Miles Aldridge – who is the photographer brother of Lily Aldridge – because the world is an incestuous place.

She was essentially brought up up around party people, cocaine, the rich girl model life and most importantly. the openness and willingness to get naked for money, or for fashion or for art, because it is not deemed pornographic – and I guess more girls have taken this heathen approach to life thanks to social media and now the world is not quite a better, more fun, higher medicated place…it’s just a dumber clickbait long hanging fruit place…

But that doens’t mean this shoot with Juergen Teller, a legendary photographer isn’t fun…it’s got a close up to her nipple hair, something I first experienced on a girl when I was 25, she was 18 and she had the greatest tits, but also the hairiest tits, something I was never told existed – you know thick pubic hair growing out of her nipples, that I sucked…and realized – it’s not that bad…it comes with bush…

But when it becomes a feminist play…and it gets the girl praise…from all the girls out there who also have hairy nipples – it becomes annoying…

Posted in:Lily McMenamy

2016

11

Nov

Lily Collins is Hot of the Day

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Lily Collins is hot. I normally make fun of celebrity kids – because I don’t respect nepotism – even in a world where nepotism is everything, I find it discounts everything the person accomplishes – and even if they are smart and talented thanks to being raised rich and being made out of award winning DNA.

I also always found Phil Collins music annoying….I would argue the “In the Air Tonight” was the bane of my teenage years – and for some reason it would rape my ears everytime it was on the radio – which was all the time – as most women who were very into Phil Collin, despite him being a bald british elf and his music is what they’d make us fuck to…

But Lily Collins…is hot and that’s enough for me to ignore the trust fund and inheritance she’ll be getting – from all the terrible but popular music…plus I can focus on her being raised in LA by her mom while dad was on the road fucking groupies – leading to daddy issues that are so much deeper than the daddy issues of non-rich girls….because rich girls can afford to be bigger victims about the shit -as they don’t have to work as strippers to fill that void…

Making this one ALL the better….I wish I could feel her coming in my facial hair tonight….DROWN ME LILY COLLINS – DROWN ME WITH YOUR PUSSY LIKE I WAS THE GUY YOUR DAD SINGS ABOUT IN THAT SONG…because drowning on pussy squirt is one of my dreams and it seems like it’d be appropriate…

Posted in:Lily Collins|SFW

2016

11

Nov

Strong Legged Hilary Duff in Shorts of the Day

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I am pretty convinced this Hilary Duff in jean shorts post won’t be the one that puts this site on the map after being around for 12 years – it’s bound to happen eventually right? I can’t just be the site that got a ton of traffic the Day I got the exclusive video of Teen Mom Farrah Abraham squirting and Gawker linked me….that can’t be my legacy…this can’t be my legacy…but then again I guess it won’t because if no one knows you exist, they don’t know when you die, and no candle light vigils happen outside your home…not because my writing isn’t brilliant as I reach to make Hilary Duff all strong in shorts thanks to the personal trainer she bangs worth reading in an era where no one reads…especailly not broken english…but because none of this actually matters and anyone showing any interest in Hilary Duff’s strong legs in shorts…have probably already seen her strong legs in shorts….because they are creepy, weird, obsessive and have been following her since she started out as a kid…and still can’t get enough of her.

I’m a late blooming Hilary Duff fan, because I’m more and more into thick legs that look like they can squat with a fridge on their back…because as someone who is not athletic – I’m attracted to what I’m not capable of doing…carrying heavy objects….all while being rich enough to make a personal trainers dreams come true.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Hilary Duff|SFW

2016

11

Nov

Aishwarya Rai Bachchan in a Magazine of the Day

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I don’t post enough 43 year old Indian (dot not feather) women in provocative glamour model type photoshoots for fashion magazines….because I guess America is Racist and there aren’t enough 43 year old Indian (dot not feather) women famous enough to be in magazines, as they are all too busy working as doctors or lawyers or scientists or waitresses at the family Indian restaurant…making Aishwarya Rai out of a population of billions – the only 43 year old Indian woman the media likes….they always need one token to get the job done – and with a face like this, filtered of photoshopped or not, she’s good enough to put in all kinds of roles – of all ages – so get your money worth out of one – rather than waste time finding others….

She’s a huge Bollywood star, probably still lives in India….so let’s hope this post blows up my servers – because if I can’t be big in America, I’m all for being big in international markets and the only way to do that is with their local tits…so India – if you’re out there – click all my ads.

Posted in:Aishwarya Rai Bachchan|SFW

2016

11

Nov

Hailey Clauson for Eberjay of the Day

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Hailey Clauson got a job! Good for her. I’ve made fun of Sports Illustrated models for all being hookers who will fuck anyone who pays them explicitly or in the form of being their husbands or sugar daddies with more “romance” and subtlety, but the effect is generally the fucking same….

But Hailey Clauson is different, mainly because she’s been in this hipster model game for a long enough time, and most interestingly modeled provocatively when she was underage for some pervert brand – and sued them – settling and probably making enough money to never work again…all because the corporation was in the wrong, being perverted…and anyone who goes after evil corporations who exploit women for their gain – because there are girls thirsty enough to let them getaway with it – is someone I respect… not to mention rich girls are hot…

So here she is posing in lingerie – no longer underage – because she’s about this life – and even when she was underage she was about this life – she was OK with this kind of behavior and posing….making her terrifying, you know cuz she’ll like it one day – until she sees opportunity – then she’ll act violated – or raped – only to actually do it again because she doesn’t actually feel violated or raped – she just wants the cash….

Posted in:Hailey Clauson|SFW

2016

11

Nov

Ella Merryweather is Hot of the Day

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Ella Merryweather has nipples, like most girls – and really most guys – but we try not to think about that – because thinking about man nipple – especially when looking at woman nipple…is pretty fucking gay….

She’s not a famous model, she’s got almost zero followers in a world where social media following is more important than anything and everything…but she’s fucking lovely as fuck…and I’m not just saying that because she’s showing her nipples, I am saying it because she’s British and has one of the most ridiculous British names…one you’d expect to be the name of a raincoat store or a fucking tea and crumpet house…or even a pub…”Merryweather”….but from my experience with British woman, this one doesn’t look like a drunk Chimney Sweeper with less of a beard…and less willingness to pull out its dick in public…because if you’ve ever been drunk with a Briton, they will always end up flashing cock, it’s a side effect of the accent…but rather she is more of an angel sent from titty modeling heaven…

That’s all I got…which isn’t much….but it’s more than me not bothering to post, which would probably do myself and the world some good…

Posted in:Ella Merryweather|SFW

2016

11

Nov

Creepy Jessica Simpson Pic of the Day

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I don’t know why but this Jessica Simpson picture she posted on social media – creeps me out.

She’s got more make-up on than a haggard porn star trying to cover up her herpes and/or meth scabs, a black eye from an abusive husband, and they years of sadness that being a haggard pornstar has done to her….all while trying to be hot enough for dudes to jerk off to her while taking loads to her face…which isn’t that much of an accomplishment – since dudes will jerk off to anything…including an old Mom Jessica Simpson and her big tits channelling a porn chick…all fake lips pursed and smokey dead eyes the way we like em…a botox fail to some is a botox win to others…while staring at her good old wholesome country tits.

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|SFW

2016

11

Nov

Genevieve Morton’s No Longer Fat – But She Is Old of the Day

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I used to make fun of Genevieve Morton for being fat, but I think that brought us closer together, I think a good old fashioned body shaming with an element of genuine concert – reminds people that they’ve fallen off and allows them to evaluate their life and make positive changes – like eating better, quitting drinking and getting fit, especially when they are trying to be working models…so in a lot of ways I am a fucking hero…

People who never criticize people but instead just encourage them – aren’t doing the person any favors…so today a few years after ripping into her…we can say “holy fuck that body is amazing, I want it in my mouth…rubbing against my face, soaking my beard”…magical…

And despite her being over 30, old as fuck in the model world…she’s given her tits new life…so remember aging women out there…stay fit…it makes you more than just tolerable…it makes you amazing…and someone I want to drown on after they sit on my face in anger for my mean posts all these years…

So Genevieve if you’re out there..you’re magical and amazing..

Posted in:Genevieve Morton|SFW