DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

02

Sep

Ashley Benson’s Bikini Snapchat of the Day

Ashley Benson is silly famous. She’s also a good 15 to 20 pounds overweight so she knows to show off her fat girl tits in bikini, or while tanning topless, because it’s better than the other options…and apparently he uses snapchat to do it, because that’s where the real grimy shit goes down when it comes to social media…it’s where girls feel comfortable doing very naked things and even very pornographic things to themselves…so girls feel free to add me to snapchat “drunkstepfather”…I won’t show off tit like Ashley Benson…but you can…and I’ll masturbate to it….because that’s how I socialize…

These should be more hardcore…

Oh look she was on instagram too…what a little busty, chubby, self promoter!

A video posted by Ashley Benson (@itsashbenzo) on Sep 1, 2015 at 10:34am PDT

I guess…if it’s not a sex tape, or more topless pics, who really cares…snapchat could be used so much better…

Posted in:Ashley Benson|SFW

2015

02

Sep

Selena Gomez Erotica of the Day

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Selena Gomez is part of the Taylor Swift cult, you know one of the Taylor Swift minions, participating in the Taylor Swift PR tour, in what I find odd, and maybe reflective of not having a solid support system growing up, or maybe not having confidence in her own career that she seeks some spiritual solidarity…you know some people go to Scientology…others…to Taylor Swift…because if I was in the pop scene, that last thing I’d do is befriend the fucking enemy in some weird guise of a sisterhood…

It’s fucking creepy…

I heard in passing that when Bieber performed at the VMAs, the Taylor Swifts left the room, as a sign of loyalty to their sister Selena…in a WTF is going on, how is this actually happening, or news, or a thing…but I guess Social media is to blame…but also to thank for these pics of her showing cleavage, thanks to fake tits, if you’re into Selena…

Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2015

02

Sep

Jennifer Aniston Ass Does a Kick of the Day

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Here is Jennifer Aniston, finally married, demonstrating…a kick…

I don’t find Jennifer Aniston a compelling character, beyond her nipples there is not much there, and I’ve always been a firm supporter of Brad Pitt in leaving this one for the other one, who seems darker and more fun in bed…

I mean sure Jennifer Aniston is a Greek and greeks love anal, but I’m sure that ex heroin addict, daddy issue, rich kid brad who dresses like a Goth…delves far deeper into fetishes…when not adopting 100 kids to build her own army…

That said, soccer moms everywhere aspire to be this fit, look at my ass I still got it at 45…even though my husband cheats on me with young girls…and I’ll look at anything in spandex…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jennifer Aniston|SFW

2015

02

Sep

Headless Bar Refaeli in Lingerie of the Day

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Bar Refaeli is getting married in 3 weeks. I have no idea why I know this or why I care…I think it has something to do with having it come to me in a dream and I may be totally off on it, but I can’t really differentiate reality anymore…everything is just one fast moving blur through a screen…

That said, she’s decided to post some sheer bra pic holding her nipple, to compliment her series of bikini pics she’s posting, in what I guess is one last hurrah before being locked down, possibly a cry for help, hoping some new man sweeps in and takes her away, maybe an ex from the past she wants to make jealous, in a “you can’t have me, look what you cheated on Leonardo DiCaprio”…kind of way…

It’s not exciting, 30 year old brides to be, not porn to me as most are so into their future husbands they are hard to crack on their bachelorette parties…and you have to wait at least a year of marriage until they are ready to be selfish and cheat…but I guess knowing men are jerking off to you helps fill that need for mail attention in your quest to be a wholesome jewish mom….

The truth is that this is probably part of her own lingerie collection…make that money while the fans still have hope…

In conclusion….
#Tits

Posted in:Bar Refaeli|SFW

2015

02

Sep

Cindy Crawford in Flare Magazine of the Day

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90s Supermodel Cindy Crawford is in some Canadian magazine where she’s showing off her legs, her million dollar legs, her long luxurious legs, that made her one of the most talked about models in her era, because I assume she’s trying to sell or promote some bullshit…

I like to think she’s also showing off that models, even in the 90s, used their position as models, highly coveted and fantasized about to prostitute themselves to billionaires…

Her husband is the Heir to Gerber baby food empire…who owns popular restaurants in LA…as rich people who like fucking hot girls do…

I am sure she tells people she would have fallen in love with him even if he had no money…

That’s sugar baby tactic because they know that’s impossible, the trust fund is too well managed…

Like when a dude says “I would have totally married her knowing she was going to gain 60 lbs and look like she was hit by a bus after a week out doing hard drugs everyday of her life”…They don’t mean it…it just makes us feel better about our shitty situations…

Cindy Crawford is not a shitty situation though, she’s pretty spectacular…even at 100

Posted in:Cindy Crawford|SFW

2015

02

Sep

Victoria Justice Bikini of the Day

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Victoria Justice is some aggressively marketed Disney Star, who I assume Disney released to the public as a sex symbol dudes everywhere love, it’s part of their PR vehicle behind pretty much everything they’ve created, from Britney to Lohan, to Selena..to Miley…they pretty much own everything, they have a monopoly on the media, and in having that power, they know how to market thing subtly and effectively, even young girls they’ve turned into commodities…

That said…

I don’t know if Victoria Justice is a Disney star, she may be on some other network doing the same thing…”Cast some old enough teen girl that dads will want to fuck, so that dads participate in the show with their kids, watching it and going to events and buying merch about that show”..pretty basic…

I mean if they aren’t behind her being this jailbait fantasy to middle aged men, how the fuck did her name come onto my radar…I don’t own a fucking TV…and if I did…I would never watch teen shows…so I assume it’s some kind of leak..

#illuminati…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|Victoria Justice

2015

02

Sep

Lindsay Lohan’s Topless Picture of the Day

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Lindsay Lohan has falling off hard…and I wish I could catch her and taste all the horrible things she’s tainted her vagina with over the years…

She’s got this brand name…Lindsay Lohan…that no one wants much to do with, other than some instagram model campaigns, when she could have been a massive Romantic Comedy star…as we all know, that requires little to know acting skills…

So she’s been beat at her own game but Amanda Seyfried, and Anna Kendrick, and really every actor, including but not limited the guy in the local mattress store ads…because they may not have made more than her in a single pay day, but at least they get hired…

Well, she’s acting weird on instagram on a yacht… and this is the sequel to her DANCING IN BIKINI BOTTOMS VIDEO

I am a fan, a supporter, possibly still in love with everything Lohan, and by everything I mean her tits, that’s all she’s got going for her…

I believe in her comeback….I believe…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

2015

02

Sep

Candice Swanepoel’s Topless in 2009 in a #TBT on a Wednesday of the Day

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#TBT on a Wednesday…because I’m so contemporary and elitist like a true old school hipster that I guess I’d prefer being called punk rock, even though I am so anti-establishment that I don’t participate in activities the general public has embraced and adopted, or slot myself into categories, you know, anti-establishment, anti-#ThrowbackThursday….anti-people, anarchy…

That said, Candice Swanepoel, one of the most dull yet hot bodies, zero personality, Victoria’s Secret model…was a little fun in 2009 where she got topless…in a shoot..

Not unlike her recent shoot for LUI MAGAZINE HERE But 6 years younger is always better on a 30 year old, end of her career model…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2015

02

Sep

Miranda Kerr Demonstrates How To Retain the Billionaire of the Day

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DO MEDIA!!

As long as Miranda Kerr is in magazines, no matter what the magazine is, it will give said Billionaire she has trapped or is trying to trap, because she knows how to manipulate billionaires, the illusion that the people care about her, that she’s still a relevant model, hell she’s on the cover of a magazine…”my girl is on the cover of a magazine, and at my billionaire level, even if she costs 1 million a year I won’t even notice”….”take that other billionaires”….”Hey Warren Buffet is your wife on the cover of a magazine”….”what about you Bill Gates…is Melinda half naked sprreading her hooker vag out ther…Didn’t think so”…”what about you Zuckerberg…I’ve seen your creepy asian, she’s no Miranda”…

Kind of rich person thing…

Posted in:Miranda Kerr|SFW

2015

02

Sep

Monster Kardashian Round-Up of the Day

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I know we don’t care about the Kardashians and their fame whoring, but the media loves talking about them, brands love working with them, they public have turn them into this very rich and powerful…all while being tacky and trashy…expensive garbage…so as they are shoved down my throat, coming at me from every angle, a sex tape porn star that went totally wrong for us, but right for them….all of them….as they try to sell shitty product to us like the gypsy merchants they should have been…instead of this…

Well, it turns out that Kim and Bruce aren’t the only dudes who have an insane amount of plastic surgery and bad make up who dress like ladies in the Kardashian cult compound…there’s also the recently turned 18 hooker Kylie and the one we assume is from OJ named Khloe….

So here’s Khloe Kardashian Simpson…who even reformatted…is terrifying….

And the little one, who everyone was excisted about seeing turn 18, because I guess jailbait aficiandos take birth certificate dates to heart and they hold more importance than how busted and broken down said jailbait already looks…probably from a drug addiction, thanks to her parents having absolutely no soul, where that she’s just a player in their cast of trash…something she probably hates…even if the money is good…she knows, they all know, they’re fucking garbage..very very expensive garbage…and that the general public are just idiots..

That’s all I have to say about that, which as we know is way too much.

Posted in:Kardashians|SFW