DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

07

Apr

stepGIRL MIranda is Amazing of the Day

The only joy I really get these days is when I am involved in our own brand of photos and videos, because who really gives a fuck about talking about all these other motherfuckers, making fun of all these motherfuckers, laughing at all these motherfuckers for being so serious about their bullshit work, when we can do it ourselves, with more swag, like the joke that all of this internet, social media, photoshoots and videos really is…

I mean there are babes everywhere, and all I really want to do is rock out on the beach eating coconuts and homemade booze in a hut removed from all this noise…

But what isn’t a joke is how amazing @whosmirranda , the stepGIRL who takes over the stepGIRL snapchat best…by her photographer @ishootsociety

Posted in:stepEXCLUSIVES

2015

07

Apr

Eva Longoria in a Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t know why I hate Eva Longoria….but more importantly, I don’t know why people fucking love Eva Longoria…I mean what the fuck has Eva Longoria done, other than be a Mexican who managed to play white enough to get cast on a shitty fucking show…that I guess the international market loves…because I meet people from all over the place..and they think she’s some type of god…when to me she’s a d-list bootleg actress who got lucky thanks to having parents who didn’t want her working as a maid in hotels…but instead as a girl who makes maids in hotels clean up after her…because that’s what cunts do…and apparently…they also grind up against dudes on balconies in Miami for the paparazzi in bikinis…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Eva Longoria

2015

07

Apr

More Lindsay Lohan Instagram Weridness of the Day

No Comments »

I guess Lindsay Lohan has finally been quarantined by the center for disease control…you know thanks to her vagina being pretty fucking contaminated…

She’s working on a comeback in the weirdest of ways, but it is a comeback nevertheless…when really all she needs is a video of a dude coming on her back…to remind us what Lohan is, what she does and what she represents…

Remember, that even at her peak she was a shitty actor barely working, and instead was just noise and tabloid fodder, but I still believe she will one day win an Oscar…

Mainly becasue the Oscars are a fucking scam…that mean nothing and will do whatever it takes for ratings…

Here she is in some lingerie….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2015

07

Apr

Jessica Simpson’s Erotica Continues of the Day

No Comments »

Jessica Simpson is taking advantage of her serious weight loss that I assume was funded by Weight Watchers….and has become the face and body of her billion dollar clothing line…because I guess she can, but more importantly, like all fat chicks who have lost the weight and rediscovered their sex appeal, they want to get the word out there and have people jerk off to them like they were still in their 20s, because all the money in the world can’t buy that…but hours at the gym and not eating cake all day everyday can…

People relate to her…and now that she’s skinny, she’s all about being slutty and romantic, despite all the kids out of wedlock she’s had…we get it, she’s horny as fuck….and so in love…and it is ok because it is her husband….

And like she did with her 50 Shardes of Grey bullshit…here’s another one of her being manhandled…but I just find it weird…and awkward..even tacky…like a poster in a trailer park…which I guess is about right…considering…

TO SEE HER 50 SHADES OF GREY WEIRDNESS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2015

07

Apr

JUlia Pereira’s in a Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Her name is Julia Pereira. She’s a Brazilian model who hasn’t been tainted by the Victoria’s Secret empire that like the Portuguese explorers before them, raped and pillaged Brazil for all their natural resources, by distracting the locals with false promises of salvation like the Portuguese did with catholicism…only unlike catholicism…the Victoria’s Secret salvation kind of comes true, if fame, fortune and billionare husbands is what you’re into..

That said, Julia Pereira proves you don’t need Victoria’s Secret to be a Brazilian bikini model…you just need to look like this…and more importantly…to have bikinis…

Posted in:Julia Pereira

2015

07

Apr

Burberry Goes Black of the Day

No Comments »

Naomi Campbell, Jourdan Dunn are the faces of a new Burberry campaign, because I guess Burberry has gone black…but will they go back?

I mean we know hip hop loves luxury goods, and people with money love hip hop and luxury goods, but the white trash in the trailer park racists…sure as hell won’t be outfitting their KKK meetings in Burberry hoods this year…I’ll tell you that much…

Posted in:Jourdan Dunn|Naomi Campbell

2015

07

Apr

Catt Sadler’s Pubic Hair of the Day

No Comments »

Who the fuck is Catt Sadler…and why am I loving her landing strip? Probably because I love all landing strips…I am a bush loving, pubic hair loving, kind of guy and nothing upsets me more about a pussy than when I find out it has been shaved, because it shows that a girl is lazy, by pretending that she “loves having no hair”…when really she just loves not taking the time to shape her natural vagina accessory..and dudes who are against hair, are just brainwashed…because real dudes will fuck anything…hairy or not…

The good news is that porn, and fashion, and pretty much everything is bringing the bush back to me…so that I can be complete again…and really that’s all I want for my birthday…bush….

So I may not know what Catt Sadler is…but I know enough to like her…

TO SEE MORE PICS OF HER CLICK HERE

Posted in:Catt Sadler

2015

07

Apr

LeAnn Rimes in a Bikini Selfie of the Day

No Comments »

LeAnn Rimes is interesting, but not that interesting, because none of these girls are interesting, but she’s in a bathing suit, which is interesting, but not that interesting, it’s just entertaining to see a 30 something chick posting pics of herself in a bikini for dudes to jerk off to…especially one who was so devoted to the Church, the south, and making good old wholesome music while dressed like some like of Pilgrim or Mormon….

Only for her true homewrecking slut whore with fake tits turning all hollywood to overpower that country music bitch facade…and I am perfectly fine with the fall of a wholesome girl lie, for her true whore colors to shine through….because true whore colors are more fun.

I just find it funny that her people still buy into her bullshit..but I guess they buy into religion…and are loyal to that bullshit…so it makes sense…

Posted in:Leann Rimes

2015

07

Apr

Courtney Stodden’s Cameltoe is the One that Got Away of the Day

No Comments »

Courtney Stodden is posing strategically – yet fully exposed…in a bikini – reminding me why I like Courtney Stodden.

She’s just this balance of fame whore, clown with silly circus sized tits, who pretends to be 18 or 19 and married to an old dude, when she’s really probably in her 40s, and the whole Courtney Stodden experience is just some marketing lie she came up with smoking cigarettes in the back room of the stripclub she probably worked at with her mom….

She has fallen off the map, out of the tabloids because he act wasn’t sustainable enough, she is the sex tape that never happened…but should of and probably wil…

But she hasn’t fallen out of my heart…..My one life regret in recent years was being invited to her Halloween party last year, and not going…

She’s an angel…

Posted in:Courtney Stodden

2015

07

Apr

Frida Gustavsson Titties for Fashion of the Day

No Comments »

Her name is Frida, she is the Swedish model who I guess has worked with Victoria’s Secret, she’s only 22, which is a lot younger than me, and makes her hot…but she’s also over over 6 foot tall, and thus scary as fuck but perfect for runway shows, because people love tall as fuck models…

I guess if that didn’t work out for her, she could have always work at IKEA, taking cheap, practical designed things off high shelves for the motherfuckers who aren’t over 6 foot tall…

SHe’s naked for fashion, which is the only way I like fashion…and I guess she’s putting herself out there more and more to get more and more money and that work ethic is nice to see, it’s the reason I got to most strip clubs…

These shoot is pretty good, but I can never hate on nipples….so don’t take my word for it…I’m bias.

Posted in:Frida Gustavsson