DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

20

Feb

Lindsay Lohan Spread Legs for Hunger Magazine of the Day

Lindsay Lohan is spread legged for Hunger Magazine, not showing any goods, probably not breaking any internet like it was Kim Karashian, who unlike her, despite all logic, is relevant, while Lohan is not….but it did probably smell really bad, and possibly broke something, probably someone’s spirit, because based on Lohan’s history, spread legged should only happy when she’s airing out her scabs…not when in rooms with people who may be exposed to the toxins….

People are positing these pics from another magazine that hit last summer as a reminder that Lohan still has tits…not that you needed a reminder…as much as we laugh at her…she’s still Lindsay Lohan and I’m her number one fan…and I still believe that she has an Academy Award win somewhere in her, behind the broken dreams, sads, addiction, feeling sorry for her entitled self, parents who sold her off, empty soul….she just needs to hire me as her life coach…because that’s the only reason I started this site…it’s always been for her/tits….I’m romantic like that…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2015

20

Feb

Scout Willis in a See Through Dress Posing With Bush of the DAY

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Scout Willis is part of the Free the Nipple movement that all the hipsters are into, because tits aren’t a big deal and shouldn’t be criminalized or sexualized or banned off social media platforms, so together we can take our rich kid access and produce a documentary about breast feeding in public, to be the good feminists we want to be….all while dudes everywhere are like “hell yeah, we like nipples, what’s the fucking problem Christian America”…you know nipples is something I’ve been fighting for since I started this site and said “I’ll be called porn, I won’t make million in ad dollars like my blogger friends, but I won’t censor myself”…in what I like to call the dumbest decision of my life…I could use said millions that I would have made off google ad words if I didn’t show nipples right about now..so in a lot of ways, I’ve made more sacrifices for the acceptance of nipples, than these identity crisis rich kids who have no real understanding of real life issues..but instead attach themselves to anything convenient…and in this case…I dig what she’s into, posing with bush, because bush is my other fight…because I love it, but the media killed it, and that upsets me…

Either way, here’s Scout nipples for instagram posing with bush…because she’s an identity crisis rich kid….thanks Demi Moore / mom.

Posted in:Scout Willis

2015

20

Feb

Selma Hayek in Some Magazines of the Day

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Selma Hayek is probably the hottest, most shapely, Mexicans to ever make their way over to Hollywood, despite what Eva Longoria wants you to think. You know the Mexican first generation who was spoiled and integrated into the white world, frowning on Mexicans except when it worked for her PR….or Jessica Alba, who pretends she’s not Mexican…think.

She’s got these big old boobies that anyone over 30 probably remembers being impressed by, back when boobies were a big deal, and calling them boobies didn’t make you feel like a fucking 5 year old trying to breast feed off his coddling mother…

Well, I guess she’s still around because two shoots from two magazines dropped…promoting who the fuck cares…covering up them boobies I feel like an asshole calling boobies, but will continue to call boobies, since my half Mexican roots like to think she may be my mother who left me on the orphanage steps, even though I’m older than her…

Maybe what I am experiencing is genetic attraction, and we’re related and I don’t know it, and thus I’ve jerked off to my relatives tits thanks to the adoption process…good thing it’s not incest unless she gets pregnant….

Here she is in The Edit

Here she is in L’Officel

Posted in:Selma Hayek

2015

20

Feb

Nicki Minaj is Really Bad at Instagram of the Day

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I try not to spend any time on instagram. I find it fucking boring and I generally don’t give a fuck about the amateur photoshoot any motherfucker sets up in his basement with some random girl willing to show her tits that I happen to follow because I like girls who show their tits….

The whole thing is pretty fucking repetitive, low quality, and like anything, if you over saturate something, it totally devalues it. So what was maybe exciting or different 4 years ago, is now just bullshit noise that sucks…even though people still use it…and some of those people indclude Nicki Minaj…and she’s so bad at at…

Last night, she posted all these pics of herself…I guess she liked her outfit…or maybe she couldn’t decide which one to use…smile or no smile, fuck it I’ll post them all..and I just find the whole thing fucking weird, but then again, this is some girl the record label pulled out of acting school to become Black Gaga, who they decided to turn into Lil Kim…she’s got no real identity…but it’s funny to watch her try, I guess, if you find things that are totally not that interesting funny….which luckily I do.

The flaw in this…not enough ass implant shots..

Posted in:Nicki Minaj

2015

20

Feb

Gigi Hadid in a Sports Bra of the Day

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Gigi Hadid is one of these bullshit “It-Girls” because she’s got a good marketing team behind her, good access, a very rich father that fucks all the instagram models in LA, despite being a 90 year old arab dude, instagram don’t care about that, they are the Anna Nicole Smith’s of this generation, ready to sugar baby down…and own it, because it is socially acceptable…not that that has anything to do with Gigi, her stupid name, her sports bra, or some older creepy man creeping on her in this picture…I mean, she doesn’t care what her dad sticks his dick in, so long as he keeps paying her way to be a top model, despite her subpar face that no one seems to think is subpar but me…

I guess I could just be hating on the rich kid hustle, that’s hardly a hustle, as it is served to her on a silver platter…or I could be hating that she doesn’t try to better herself or the world with her rich kid access…and instead chooses the vapid whore for brands life…but I guess that’s what LA is based on and to be top of the social channels this is how it’s done.

I’d still let her suffocate me while grinding up against my face with her pussy. Which is really all that matters.

Posted in:Gigi Hadid

2015

20

Feb

Taylor Swift with Nicki Minaj Lyric GIFS of the Day

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I don’t trust the authenticity of Taylor Swift, mainly because she’s a huge Hollywood celebrity. Her organization is just too big and profitable, for anything she does to really be anything more than a marketing campaign to make her sell more albums..and they decided to take “teen angst”…”unlucky in love”…because it was a good cross-over for the bible belt to relate to, for parents to buy records for their kids, and all that other good stuff that comes with not openly admitting you have anal sex on the first date with a hollywood star, because you’re so rich and famous, all that can make you cum is your ass..

So seeing her set to Nicki Minaj, also not authentic, but more sleazy in her approach lyrics….is a good gag, if you’re into stupid shit like memes…

I’m only posting this because I got nothing else to post….seriously, desperate times….this is so stupid.

Posted in:Taylor Swift

2015

20

Feb

Some Hipster Chick Tits of the Day

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It’s Oscar Weekend, so what better way to celebrate the most regal and high profile event in the entertainment industry, especially for a website that covers a lot of hollywood gossip and celebrity bullshit, by posting in-trend pics of a naked hipster with farm animals in Australia…because who gives a fuck about Hollywood and the shitty movies they make – when the world’s got naked hipsters to distract us with…rather than awards for overpaid disgusting humans who produce overpriced smut without the penetration…right..

Posted in:Hipster

2015

20

Feb

Karmen Pedaru Ass for MUSE of the Day

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Karmen Pedaru is some Estonian model…I once knew a dude from Estonia, who told me that all the girls in Estonia are hot as fuck, poor as fuck and one step away from either being in the webcam sex trade, or the human trafficking sex trade, or the mail order bride sex trade…the tall ones, like Karmen Pedaru, always escape though…to work a different sex trade, called the fashion sex trade, which is also a billion dollar business of exploited women from the factory floor to the Runway shows, all designed to sell clothes no one needs for too much money, because it has a perceived value and people need to spend their money on something- it might as well be a shirt…

Either way, in any sex trade, there’s nudity, so here’s her ass…not so eventful but still hot enough.

Posted in:Karmen Pedaru

2015

20

Feb

Dude Beats Up a Shoplifting Chick and Other Videos of the Day

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Guy Pushes Woman and People Don’t Like It

Wave Hits Reporter

Thug Slams Teacher to the Ground

Don’t Piss off the Audi Driver…

Dude Shoots at Bailiffs Serving Him an Eviction Notice

Chilean Phamracist vs Robbers

West Virginia Pharmacist VS Robber

Posted in:stepNEWS|Videos

2015

20

Feb

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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I spent at least an hour coaching some horny 20 year old to make herself squirt in the hospital she was at…

This is my life…

I didn’t get to see the squirt, but she claims it happened…and I feel like in some weird way I’ve finally accomplished something…I’ve found my niche, my talent…my life work…my legacy…

Here are some stepLINKS…

This is Aquaman
GO

Street Artist Makes Oscar Statue Sniffing a Line of Coke
GO

The Goat that Steals your Drink….
GO

This Warren Sapp Story is Pretty Good
GO

Tyga is Banging Kylie Jenner
GO

Girls Bending at the Waist
GO

Kelly Brook’s Big Tits in a White Tank Top
GO

Kim Made Kanye Take 30 Showers to Wash the Amber Rose Off Him
GO

The Joke that Pissed off Eddie Murphy
GO

Hot Chick Sports Fans
GO

Sideboobs for PETA
GO

It must Be So Much Fun Tittie Fucking Ashley Benson
GO

Snowpocalypse Surpise
GO

Jon Stewart Describes his Replacement
GO

Posted in:sepLINKS