DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2015

14

Jan

Victoria Justice is in a Bra for Some Bullshit of the Day

Creepy dads everywhere jerk off to Victoria Justice because their lives suck thanks to the whole becoming a dad after college because their wive’s pressured them into it, tricked them into it, and they went along with it, because they felt that they had to…they felt that it was what their suburban asses was supposed to do…

She’s the jailbait, puppet, who was used as the wholesome thing, but because of being a wholesome thing, is in fact a naughty thing…and now she’s expanding her acting career…by getting into bras and fucking on camera…exciting to some…still an unknown to most.

Posted in:Victoria Justice

2015

14

Jan

Rihanna’s Ass in Leggings of the Day

No Comments »

Rihanna was in Beverly Hills, because she’s famous, and that’s what famous people do….and she was in a pair of leggings, because that’s what girls wear… that showed off a dimple of cellulite in her ass, because all girls have cellulite, especially when they are in their mid 20s, bottom heavy dump trucks like Rihanna, who are usually more into showing off their tits….because they remind her of being a hooker of her youth…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Rihanna

2015

14

Jan

Sasha Cohen in a Bikini Yoga Pose of the Day

No Comments »

Here’s a little patriotic moment for all you proud Americans to stand at your desks, hand on chest, singing the national anthem, shooting off your guns into your trailer park roof, while shopping at Walmart, eating fast food, figuring out some kind of insurance scam so that you don’t have to ever work, to pay off the debt you can’t afford to pay back, that you got yourself into when buying wide-screen TVs to pollute your brain with shows like the Kardashians, and Honey Booboo, hoping one day your dumb ass gets a show of it’s own…American dreams…in the form of an Olympic winner posing half naked…and athletic…figure skater…which for a Canadian who has masturbated to figure skating…is erotic.

Posted in:Sasha Cohen

2015

14

Jan

Maggie Duran Eats Cereal of the Day

No Comments »

Her name is Maggie Duran, she’s an instagram model, being shot for my hipster friends at Galore magazine

I know nothing about her, but I follow her on instagram, I’ve probably liked some of her pictures, I may have even sexually harassed her, in what girls find creepy, but what I find romantic…passionate…even sexy…and after some research you can’t really blame me…I’ve seen her naked…she’s given herself to all of us…

HERE and HERE

….which I guess is like the “she was wearing a short skirt logic in a rape defence…only for romantic instagram comments…that are far less violating, but involve a lot more “Show me your vag”…instead of aggressively taking it.

All this to say…I like her…and watching her eat her cereal…must be a fetish to at least one of you creeps

Via GALORE

Posted in:Maggie Duran

2015

14

Jan

Horse Faced Jessica Lowndes Keeps the Instagram Bikini Shoot Going of the Day

No Comments »

This horse faced Canadian who made it pretty far for a Canadian, but who is still pretty much a nobody, despite being on TV once for a year or two, on 90210 as the new Tori Spelling, at least that’s what her horse face is telling me, named Jessica Lowndes, has realized that getting action on social media is strictly based on posting bikini pics…so bikini pics is what she’ll bring…fingers crossed it will get her music listened to, movie roles she’s auditioned for, people to actually care more than just stare and her hot body half naked…

The good news is that she’s on the right track…we call Sex Tape…or at least leaked nudes…she’s getting desperate because she’s tasted the fame, she’s been on the red carpet, she’s been invited to events and the paparazzi have taken pics…and now she’s just trying to make that happen again…A for Effort…

Posted in:Jessica Lowndes

2015

14

Jan

Edita Vilkeviciute for Juicy of the Day

No Comments »

Edita Vilkeviciute is a pretty successful model…she’s done all kinds of bullshit campaigns for brands, stores, etc….

But I’m more interested in her showing off her tits for Fashion, which is part of the reason she’s high enough profile to get these big campaigns to book her, I mean that and the fact that she’s tall as fuck…

I guess, as a Lithuanian…with great tits, she could have easily ended up a cam girl, or trade on the sex trade market, so I guess all these 100,000 dollar deals she’s getting is a big deal for her and her family…but I am much more into her borderline sex work, it seems more pure and authentic to what she was supposed to be doing when she grew up in a one bedroom, poverty stricken, get in line for toilet paper roots…

To see her naked and topless in various shoots:

Topless in 032c – CLICK HERE

Topless in SSAW – CLICK HERE

Naked for the Paparazzi – CLICK HERE

Topless in LUI – CLICK HERE

Topless Eating an Apple – CLICK HERE

Topless with Candice win Vogue Germany – CLICK HERE

Topless with Anja Rubic for Vogue France – CLICK HERE

To see her campaign where she’s not topless but where she’s getting paid – Look Down….

Posted in:Edita Vilkeviciute

2015

14

Jan

J.Lo Nipples Can’t Speak Spanish on TV of the Day

No Comments »

I think it’s safe to say that J.Lo is fucking awful at Spanish….which is funny, because the one thing she needed to do to maintain any level authenticity to her mission as J.Lo, is to learn fucking Spanish seamlessly….it would require very little effort, maybe 2 hours a week, in exchange for millions and millions of dollars she makes being the Latin icon…

You see, Latin people like to be proud of their people, they are community based and will support any of their own who make it, it’s like country music – white trash love country music fans will buy every LeAnn Rimes record, even if she becomes a hooker but LeAnn Rimes is at least living the white trash with money life, while J.Lo, is just a fucking lie…and here’s the proof..and her hard, old faced, nipples….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
CLICK HERE

Posted in:J.Lo

2015

14

Jan

Cara Delevingne for Topshop of the Day

No Comments »

Mangled face, mutant face, possibly inbred faced, heroin addict faced, weirdo face Cara Delevingne….who only matters because she’s pulled off some kind of solid scam using her rich girl access to her advantage by associating herself with A-listers, propelling her to the A-list…leading to a modeling career, that more than one photographer who has worked with her have told me she is totally intolerable to work with….a total fucking cunt they hate working with…but that more importantly…a modeling career that would confuse the fuck out of anyone who ever sees her in her candid quirky, definitely ugly candids….but for some reason, looks amazing anytime she does professional photos…like this shit for top shot, that I’m not paid to promote, but that I am paid to be confused by…just not very much…because I’m a failure….and Cara Delevingne is not…

Posted in:Cara Delevingne

2015

14

Jan

Candice and Doutzem Kroes for Manic Magazine of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t know anything about Manic Magazine, but I think it is safe to say that their editorial team, or their creative director, or whoever the fuck works at the magazine coordinating shoots, has done a great job scanning pics from random Victoria’s Secret Catalogs…I mean unless they actually had access to Doutzen Kroes and Candice Swanepoel and decided that they’ll uses them exactly how they are always used, even though they are willing to do so much more…in which case…is a total fucking fail…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|Doutzen Kroes

2015

14

Jan

Vanessa Moody for Vogue Germany of the Day

No Comments »

Vanessa Moody is a real model, as opposed to an instagram model, who gets in actual magazines, walks actual runways, makes actual money all because of the right measurements of tall and skinny, and not because she gets half naked on instagram for brands that don’t pay her, for photographers that don’t matter, all to have a million fans who don’t actually care about her…instead she gets naked for real photographers, real magazines, wearing real brands, for real money, a concept that is so fucking foreign in this distracted social media filled world…and I’m into it, because I am a purist, who feels models should be decided by snobby agency people and not the public….

Here she is getting naked enough in Vogue…

Posted in:Vanessa Moody