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2014

18

Dec

Alessandra Ambrosio in Christmas Advent Calendar Porn of the Day

Here’s a little Alessandra Ambrosio, who is actually pretty big, as all these models are, being used to celebrate Christmas…for THE LOVE MAGAZINE Advent Calendar I’ve Been Promoting for Years , not because everyday is Christmas, or because she’s a Christmas miracle, but because any press is good press, especially for Love Magazine who are owning this Christmas season with their silly videos, like this one that is not very exciting, not that I would know if it was exciting, I didn’t actually watch it, because I have better things to do with my time, like uploading it to the internet for you to watch instead because old mom models who worked for an evil billion dollar brand dancing around for Christmas not dressed for Christmas..is your fetish…not mine.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2014

18

Dec

Kate Upton Lookin’ Fit at the Airport of the Day

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Nothing like a little or in this case big…very big…Kate Upton gunt busting out of her one size to small, but already huge pants….to celebrate the Holiday season and the Holiday weight you are going to put on with all the eating and drinking….only with Kate Upton, who got her start early, like 3 years ago, when her metabolism slowed down, her fame led her to eating, yet she is still the most searched model on the internet according to google, and google knows all, since dudes clearly like tits…even when they come with dumpy stomachs and asses…because they are able to mentally crop all that out…thanks to being blinded by tits…that aren’t even good tits…but that are big tits…

All this to say is that this Anna Nicole Smith bootleg…is fat as fuck…for a model…and that I am pretty amazed…she’s still relevant…but I assume she won’t be for long…but maybe I’m just old school and girls spilling over their pants aren’t bikini models to me…

Either way, she’d make a good Mall Santa you get to titty fuck…but she’s better, still fat, but better, when she’s in her self shot nudes…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton

2014

18

Dec

Behati Prinsloo is a Zombie Santa of the Day

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Someone posted this video of Behati Prinsloo being a zombie Santa because I guess making fun of one of the most iconic characters in the history of the Christmas spirit, you know the fat man in a red suit, that has nothing to do with Jesus, the birthday you’re supposed to be celebrating, when really he’s the one who was an actual zombie, while Santa was just a cartoon, but I guess her playing Zombie Jesus wouldn’t go over well…kinda like her marrying Adam Levine…since he’s the fucking worst…and no matter what she’s doing here…all I smell is his seed all over her…making her the fucking worse than the worst because she married the worst…if you know what I mean.

Posted in:Behati Prinsloo

2014

18

Dec

Alyssa Barbara is Amazing in Lingerie of the Day

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Her name is Alyssa Barbara.

I’ve been following her on her INSTAGRAM because she’s pretty fucking amazing.

She’s from Canada, and lives in Canada, all while Canada is the worst. I know this because I live here, and I know people from here, and none of those people look anything like this, but if they did, and apparently they do, I wouldn’t be so miserable…not that they would talk to me when they do look like this…because I am repulsive…but you know what I mean…and that is that I’d like to suck the maple syrup out of her ass with my tongue…because one thing I do know about Canadians in Canada is that they all shit maple syrup.

Posted in:Alyssa Barbara

2014

18

Dec

Iana Godnia for Vogue Russia of the Day

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I don’t know anything about Iana Godnia, I just know that she’s showing her tits for Vogue Russia, which means this isn’t softcore porn or anything to sexualize, it is tits for the sake of fashion…not for the sake of Playboy…there is a difference, get you head out of the gutter…

I also know that I love all things Russia and by all things, I mean Russian girls, partially because I am broke and my only leverage point to seduce them is a Canadian Paassport, which is apparently more desirable than a Russian passport,….but mainly because all the ugly ones seem to have died off with Communism. Seriously, they may not have souls, but they are all fucking sexy as hell…not that Iana Godnia is Russian, but why else would she be doing Vogue Russia..right…

Posted in:Iana Godnia

2014

18

Dec

Dolly Parton for Terry Richardson of the Day

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Terry Richardson posted these pics of Dolly Parton on his site that I assume he took for some kind of magazine, and they are in the, what is now the standard Terry Richardson photo, which is unfortunately boring and corporate, when I’d be more interested in seeing Dolly Parton in the not so original, but original enough Terry Richardson pics of the late 90s, that put him on the map as some kind of “artist” or “it-girl”, which involved nudity, penetration, softcore porn, because even at 100 years old…Dolly tits give me a boner, I just would rather be staring at them naked….I mean I’m technically naked but she isn’t…

Posted in:Dolly Parton

2014

18

Dec

Candice Swanepoel BTS Holiday Costume of the Day

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Nothing says Christmas like a South African slave driver / farmer’s daughter wearing a Santa Outfit for an evil corporation that owns her and uses her to push shitty made, shitty styled, shitty product for fat chicks from the midwest who love malls, discount panties they feel they are buying into a lifestyle and upping their sex appeal with, at an affordable price…all because everyone in their trailer park watched the fashion show the other night…and the general public love tacky, shitty things…peddled by Jewish billionaires via exploited Chinese factory workers….

It’s a Christmas Miracal…and here’s Santa Candice Swanepoel….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2014

18

Dec

Ashley Tisdale in Leather Pants of the DAy

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I just saw a video that I am not going to link…of Dogs being used in Asian factories as leather that they make all your North American shoots, boots, belts, gloves, wallets and fetish gear from, because I guess dogs are cheaper than cows…and dogs are man’s best friend so it made me very fucking upset…so looking at Ashley Tisdale and her broken down face…I can’t help but wonder if her leather pants are a stray dog…but more importantly, I can’t help but wonder just how hot it was in the studio, and how balmy she got in her unbreathable fabric, and how ripe her recently married, possibly pregnant, because why else would you get married, unless it was for fear of being alone, due to a botched face, which I doubt it was,, because she’s clearly got an ego and thinks she is hotter than she is, otherwise she wouldn’t be posing in magazines…pussy is…

That’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale

2014

18

Dec

Paris Hilton’s Terrifying Panty Flash of the Day

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These Paris Hilton panty flash pictures have been floating around the internet the last few days and I didn’t want to post them…obviously I saw them, what the fuck do you think I do all day, it’s not like anything gets past these pervert eyes, but sometimes I wish they did…you see I am a man who can handle a whole lot of disgusting..I mean I’ve been watching freakish porn videos since StileProject…I think the first asian puke video I ever saw was on VHS in 1992…I’m seasoned….a veteran…some would even say desensitized, lacking a soul…and broken…but for some reason…Paris Hilton’s vagina and anything that comes near it…whether it is lace, cellophane or topical creams….make my stomach fucking curdle…but the sick thing in all this is that I’d love to eat every square inch of it, and you know there are a lot of square inches to it…just to see if my tongue falls off…

Posted in:Paris Hilton

2014

18

Dec

Alyssa Arce in Some Shitty Catalog Pics of the Day

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Here are two things I can’t fucking stand.

1- Catalog pics for what I assume is some low budget ecommerce brand…shot by what I assume is a photography student…with zero to no concept or skill to make the shit interesting…because what does selling product need to be so fucking boring….

2- Nude models from Playboy, not modeling nude, with some kind of ego that they are totally hot enough to be a model, when really only people on care about them when they are naked…all distorted thinking that comes when people praise your tits all day…It’s like if you’re not naked, or showing them tits, no one cares about you, they are the only reason you exist Alyssa Arce….

Now you may wonder why I post things I hate…well it’s because that’s all part of sucking at life…we focus on the bad…not the good and she’s still half naked…so it’s better than me posting my cock shots I sent to girls on snapchat.

Posted in:Alyssa Arce