DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

03

Nov

Barbara Palvin Topless for Madame Figaro of the Day

Barbara Palvin is naked for Madame Figaro….

She’s a Hungarian 20 year old…so I guess she’s lucky to be in this fashion story, instead of the live webcam streaming site most 20 year olds from Hungary are getting naked on….

I think she looks good….enough…I mean if you’re going to get naked, this implied nonsense is just nonsense. We are in an era where spread legged vagina shots are considered fashion not porn. Larry Flynt got shot in the back for that right…and anytime a naked girl isn’t shot spread eagled…the world is shitting on his martyrdom…

I don’t know what I am saying, the fact is that these pictures don’t give me a boner, but i guess nothing really does…the internet has desensitized me…

Posted in:Barbara Palvin

2014

03

Nov

Emily Ratajkowski Call of Duty Trailer of the Day

No Comments »

Emily Ratajkowski is the worst…But people like her, and I guess she just made another million dollars being the tits in this new live action Call of Duty Trailer…because once you’re relevant…people will pay you well to participate in promoting their shit…

What we can all learn from her is that sleeping with Kanye, doing nude shoots, and leveraging that hard can work for you, and the first step is taking off your clothes…and I think that’s a pretty great lesson to take home to your kids tonight over dinner, assuming you eat dinner with your kids, something I assume you don’t do, because they are too busy playing videogames and you are too busy trying to cheat on your wife, telling her you’re caught up at the office late…#internet #generation – not that you have wife or kids, you lonely fuck, I’m just trying to find an angle with Emily Ratajkowski…and when all she is is tits…I probably should have just wrote #tits and #videogames..and let you masturbate to them in peace…because I am not a tit shamer – I am a tit celebrator…

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski

2014

03

Nov

Sophie Simmons Topless Bikini Pics of the DAy

No Comments »

Sophie Simmons is a model now.

I have theory that fat girls shouldn’t be models…no one really wants to see that…but I think my theory is outdated and now that fat girls are outnumbering skinny girls…and have a voice thanks to the internet…things are being catered to them and they need an icon to look up to….not that Sophie Simmons is that fat…just too fat to be a model…

I also have this theory that celebrity kids shouldn’t be models…no one really cares about them as much as they care about their parents and the whole thing is a weirdo cry for attention when they could just use their trust fund for good – rather than spending days in photoshoots…

Obviously, not too hard to get signed when your dad is a billionaire from KISS, you get what you want…but the issue is why is male attention what she wants…when she could get her dad to invest in something far more interesting for the grand scheme of the world…

Either way, it’s getting to her head and she’s posting nude, or topless selfies on instagram…I am not sure this will end in a good place…because I am not even sure by looking at these if it is a good place now….but it happened.

Posted in:Sophie Simmons

2014

03

Nov

Lindsay Lohan Does Halloween Because She’s a Nightmare of the Day

No Comments »

It’s safe to say that Lindsay Lohan doesn’t need Halloween to be a fucking nightmare, I mean she’s consistently been a nightmare, she will consistently be a nightmare, and her life and career are just as fucking bad…I mean if you think being a famous actress who doesn’t act, but who has a lot of family drama, family issues, drug addiction, rehab issues, is bad…I think it’s good enough if you can ride that shit out and never have to work again….who needs to be famous forever….when you can live off the residuals of being famous for 5 minutes after your parents prostituted you….right…

Either way, her costume wasn’t a giant gaping asshole trying to get work…so it’s not as good as it could have been…but I guess that’s the story of her life – in every aspect of her life – not as good as she could have been…always missing the mark…and part of me loves her, or at least her tits for that…

TO SEE MORE CELEBS DRESSED UP FOR HALLOWEEN CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2014

03

Nov

Kim Kardashian Erotica of the Day

No Comments »

Here’s Kim Kardashian giving us a glimpse into what could possibly be the best fucking thing ever – her as a skeleton…

The only thing better than her skeleton would be her dressed up as a corpse, you know to really allow us to fantasize an end to her and her stupid ass implant that can never die thanks to modern science and the decay time of platics….

The only thing better than her dressed up as a corpse…is I guess her being a corpse…

Not that I’d wish anyone dead, I may have no empathy, and I may dislike what people represent, but it’s not their fault the public embraced them, but it’d be nice if her career and their show died a fiery death….it’s gone on too long…take it out back and shoot it…get that family lined up for some Family vacaiton and Malaysian Flight 370 them….

TO SEE MORE CELEBS DRESSED UP FOR HALLOWEEN CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2014

03

Nov

Hayden Panettiere’s Pregnancy Porn of the Day

No Comments »

I guess Hayden Panettiere is still pregnant…getting ready for her vagina to get ravaged, not that it isn’t already ravaged, considering that her boyfriend is some 6 foot 9 Russian boxer who we can assume has a 12 inch penis he goes Communist / Russian Mobster / Fighting for the last rationed toilet paper roll after a 9 hour wait for said toilet paper roll on on her pussy with…you know the kind of abuse that makes the birthing process easy, as the baby just crawls out on it’s own, it is half Russian after all, and is ready to start running hookers like it was Hayden’s mom…back in the glory days of hollywood…when Soap Opera stars were the pornstars of the industry…instead of the actual pornstars…

That said, interesting costume, most pregnant girls go for “Humpty Dumpty”…or “Fat Chick”..not half naked…maybe she’s hormonal…and what better day than Halloween for that…right?

TO SEE MORE CELEBS DRESSED UP FOR HALLOWEEN CLICK HERE

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere

2014

03

Nov

Miley Cyrus Hard Nipple Alien of the Day

No Comments »

Miley Cyrus is awesome. If you don’t like her, we can’t be friends. You just can’t hate a girl who owns her shit, and just fucks with the industry as hard as she does – while remaining relevant – with her millions of fans – all while being a total fucking idiot.

I don’t need authenticity, or real artistic expression, I don’t care if she’s ripping off a scene or whatever…I just need hard nipples in an alien costume giving me the finger to think – pop music may have a chance…it’s got far more substance than pop when I was a tween …and You’d have to be a real fucked up person to think Miley was anything but next level…

TO SEE MORE CELEBS DRESSED UP FOR HALLOWEEN CLICK HERE

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2014

03

Nov

Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader Possible Leaked Pics of the Day

No Comments »

If you’re a Dallas Cowboy’s cheerleader like this Holly Arielle girl, the best way for you to differentiate yourself from the 30 or 40 other Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders would be to release nude pictures of yourself, since nude pictures generate some buzz and get people talking, but also give you the excuse that you were hacked and that you are the victim of a bitter ex boyfriend or even better, hackers, because it’s far more marketable than that you’re an exhibitionist slut doing the easiest thing to get noticed in a world where getting noticed is so difficult..because there are so many sluts….

That’s not to say this is the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader….because who the fuck would know the names of cheerleaders – you’d have to be a real creep for that…which you probably are….

Posted in:Holly Arielle

2014

03

Nov

Christina Aguilera’s Tits for Halloween of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t think Christina Aguilera matters at all, but I am pretty sure Christina Aguilera thinks she matters, and I am sure her husband also thinks she matters, because she probably reminds him of it everytime she orders him around to do shit for their multiple babies…she just gives off that vibe, where years of being celebrated not only by fans but also with money, makes her think she’s actually matters..and I am sure to some fat girl about to kill herself listening to that “Beautiful” song, that’s is a blatant lie, because you aren’t beautiful….she does matter…but to me she’s just some chubby, washed up, mom of two with some big old titties that are actually old now…and I guess that’s enough…and she does in fact matter…

I guess the big question in all this is whether that’s a nipple slip…or just some push up bra supporting these mom tits…and the fact that that is the most complicated question of the day…makes me wonder whether my life is amazing or pathetic…

Let’s go with pathetic.

TO SEE MORE CELEBS DRESSED UP FOR HALLOWEEN CLICK HERE

Posted in:Christina Aguilera

2014

03

Nov

Carolyn Murphy in Fashion Porn for Vogue of the Day

No Comments »

I like fashion videos, only because they have no fucking point. They are all “high” concept for no reason, and they feature models, who I like looking at, posing all done up with hair and make-up looking beautiful, but still there for no fucking reason.

It’s not a prank video, or a youtube how to video, it’s not even a music video…but for some reason it’s erotic…even low level pornographic, but maybe I’m just confusing that with Carolyn Murphy’s other video….and actual porn video….that you can see in all it’s awkwardness if you CLICK HERE

Posted in:Carolyn Murphy