DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

02

Sep

Anna Kournikova in a Bikini of the Day

Anna Kournikova posted this labor day white bikini pic to her facebook page that reminded me of why I love Anna Kournikova…

Firstly, she’s known as a tennis player and I have a tennis player fetish. It’s a sport where the girls can be lean and athletic, white and rich, fancy and luxurious…pretty much the opposite of me…all while grunting and sweating in short skirts flashing panties…like little porn sluts, only it’s acceptable because it’s sport…

Secondly, I don’t think she’s made any money off tennis games in the last 10 years, she doesn’t do the circuit, she doesn’t compete, yet she’s so fucking famous from tennis, more people know her, a non tennis player than actual tennis players, and that makes me laugh…She’s scammed the system…because hot girls get everything they want…

Posted in:Anna Kournikova

2014

02

Sep

Eiza Gonzalez Has the Best Shorts Ever of the DAy

No Comments »

Eiza Gonzalez is some rich an what may be famous Mexican….for what I like to assume is her taco that she’s stuffed into a pair of really ridiculous shorts on her quest for American fame and fortune…you know just another Mexican taking your white people jobs because she’s got the resources to get a work visa and to wait out a job…it’s bound to happen…and while she waits she’ll just linger around paparazzi hot spots…dressed like this…because unlike the Mexicans I know, including my mother, who was short thick and one too many corn toritllas to fit into her spandex she loved to wear when hooking, this Mexican is like the new age Mexican, not necessarily native to Mexico but mixed with actual quality genes from what I assume is Europe and not the Mayan Riviera…

She’s good. Even though I generally just like Mexican women to breast feed me like they were my mom…Tacos in Shorts work too….

To See The Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Eiza González

2014

02

Sep

Jewel in a Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

I think this Jewel Bikini picture for instagram, that I guess she posted because she’s happy with her what must be 40 year old body, up on some recently divorced girl hustle for male attention like so many divorcees I’ve had sex with – because they are keen on getting as much cock as possible in them – making up for lost time and trying to finally have good sex since marriage doesn’t come with good sex…

I mean they are so desperate and eager, they even end up with me, just to try me out, only to go back to their husbands saying “shit, marriage wasn’t that bad, even though I thought it was the fucking worst, before fucking this guy I met in a bar”….

All this to say, the pic is better when you play this song along with it…

Sure, she’d be more interesting in her bikini if her hollywood career didn’t work out for her when she was living in her car after driving to LA from Alaska…But bikini pics of her 20 years later are good enough…I guess…

Posted in:Jewel

2014

02

Sep

Joanna Krupa in a Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Joanna Krupa posted this bikini picture of herself to her instagram, I don’t know if she’s really relevant anymore, or really ever was…

I just think she just pulled some awesome scam that involved booking dancing with the stars, right when her glamour model career was about to dry up and end.You know when she was fed up with all the sex for money she probably had to have in order to live the life of luxury she wanted. I can’t confirm she was a hooker like so many of these wannabe famous chicks before her…and I guess after her…but I can say that from an outsider perspective on her body and her body of work alone, it kind of looks like that’s exactly what she is…

Her show has been cancelled, I assume she’s pushing 40, she’s still enough of a babe though, I guess Eastern Europe has that going for them, money hungry babes, all thanks to communism, not that Krupa knows anything about Eastern Europe Communism. She only fucks with that if it’s an opportunity to exploit for money because she’s from there and born there…but raised in America since she was 2…and pretty far removed from that…but luckily for you, not far removed from wearing bikinis.

To see the rest of the pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Joanna Krupa

2014

02

Sep

Kendall Jenner’s Ice Bucket Challenge of the Day

No Comments »

What better way to celebrate little Kendall Jenner doing the ALS challenge in a bikini, you know Kendall, the Kardashian who probably has the most going for her in terms of looks, but who I assume has the least going for her in personality, since she’s been on TV and around this life since she was around 4 or 5 years old, which makes for a horrible person until it all falls apart and disappears – leading her desperate and willing to do everything to get another hit…all while developing a substance abuse dependency, since fame is generally a horrible thing that destroys people…

Than to post pics of her sister, the one OJ fathered in her whore mother – showing her tits…after fully rebuilding herself from being the monster she was – to being kind of hot…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kendall Jenner

2014

02

Sep

Emma Stern Nielsen in Lingerie of the Day

No Comments »

As much as I hate lingerie campaign pictures because I find them fucking boring…every once in a while I get semi impressed…I mean impressed isn’t really the right word…but I am so jaded when it comes to this shit…I’ve been doing it for 30,000 fucking posts…over 10 years…it’s like eventually all the girls, all the photographers, all the brands, all the concepts all blend into one giant pile of irrelevant bullshit that doesn’t matter in the overall picture of the state of the world.

It’s not newsworthy, it doesn’t affect our lives, it’s just some nonsense to help sell some other assholes panties for a lot of money…

But today, this Emma Stern Nielsen, a model I’ve followed on instagram but didn’t know I followed on instagram, in a campaign for some company called Triumph, that hired a Vogue photographer named Ellen Von Unwerth, who is knows for being fucking awesome at taking semi erotic fashion pics, brought a fucking win…

It’s like this Emma Stern Nielsen is the new apple of my eye, object of my desire, sure I’ll forget her in 3 minutes, but right now, all I want to do is suffacte on her face as she rides me like a Mechanical bull…

She’s good.

Posted in:Emma Stern Nielsen

2014

02

Sep

Margot Robbie Picture of the Day

No Comments »

Margot Robbie is the Australian, a people know for their class and grace, especially when drunk at a bar while backpacking Europe or wherever the fuck they backpack and get drunk, because as Australians, they are almost always drunk, and least when I’ve interracted with them, but that is probably because I am always drunk…

Doesn’t matter, what matters is how she wears her shorts now that she’s found fame, thanks to her nude scene in Wolf of Wall Street… HERE

Short shorts are everywhere, we are used to them, but sometimes, when on a bent over girl, jacked up the right way, they are better than all the other short shorts…I guess not all short shorts jacked up vaginas are created equally….especially when you’ve seen the short shorts I’ve seen jacked up vaginas in the last few days…for some reason they’ve involved a lot of girls who’s thighs rub so hard together, the shorts look more like a skirt…skin everywhere…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Margot Robbie

2014

02

Sep

Kate Moss and Cara Delevingne Together in an Ad of the Day

No Comments »

Kate Moss is in this campaign with Cara Delevingne, a socialite turned model, who is still a socialite, because she is a rich kid who puts herself at all the right events with the right people. The association with the A-Listers she associates herself with is good for her modeling career, it is was made her an It Girl, it is the reason she makes money and has big pay days, it is a whole “if people in movies want to sit on her face, the general public will”…bullshit that I guess doesn’t offend me – because there are bigger issues in the world besides who the the modeling industry want to pay to promote their brand…like Burberry, in what I like to this is their take on lesbian porn, the classy high end fashion way…

Posted in:Kate Moss

2014

02

Sep

Melanie Iglesias for New York Post of the Day

No Comments »

There was a time this Melanie Iglesias was just some Youtube Glamour model…star. You know the kind of girl who was babe enough to be in Maxim during their dark years of using low level models…

In her spare time she would do videos like this:

You know, viral attempts where she would challenge Kate Upton and actual models at the time to dance offs, and millions of people would watch…along with other bullshit…

She would grind out with these “Flip Book” videos that would get millions of views also…

I forgot she existed, but I guess she’s turned things around for herself and is booking actual media – like the New York Post…

Unless the New York Post isn’t actual media, but still bigger than working as an escort….

Oh…I just googled her and she’s on some MTV show, so she’s a presenter now, I guess being a trick on social media pays off…

Posted in:Melanie Iglesias

2014

02

Sep

Nicole Scherzinger in a Bikini for Labor Day of the Day

No Comments »

There was a time this Nicole Scherzinger Pussy Cat Doll was a teased for having a really hard body, that was clearly a product of fitness, dancing in stage shows like a stripper who didn’t have to be a stripper, even though her skill set was that of a stripper…with High Testosterone, we’re talking probable chin hair, back hair, and even nipple hair had she not tended to it with the best waxers in the world….with a sex drive that rivals gay dudes, because girls with high testosterone like to fuck a lot..which is a good thing, provided you don’t can see past that you’re practically fucking a dude, since everyone on the internet would call her a tranny…because the internet is mean.

Well it turns out that when she scales back on the fitness, and allows her womanly hormones back into the mix as she ages, her hard body turns into a decent and feminine body, forgetting that she may or may not have been born with testicles, something that historically has been hard to do…

She’s in a bikini….and you like bikinis.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Nicole Scherzinger