DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

30

Jul

Maryna Linchuk in Lingerie of the Day

Maryna Linchuk reminds me that although I love Lingerie models, and think they are great for a lot of reasons, like being nice to look at, but more importantly, making regular girls feel like shit about themselves, and when they feel like shit about themselves, I get to be the hero, by telling them their untoned fat stomach is sexy and that those models are just freaks of nature, some even 6 foot tall monsters pushing 150 pounds that look good in pictures half naked, but who in person are actually double the size…angles, lighting, make-up, photoshop…you know making myself out to be a sensitive hero, ready to pounce on them the second they feel comfortable enough to let me get them naked…

But I hate lingerie photoshoots – they fucking suck…they have no personality and here’s the proof.

Posted in:Maryna Linchuk

2014

30

Jul

Eva Herzigova in a One Piece of the Day

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Eva Herzigova is in a one piece…I would image you’d care about this if you had any fucking ideal who Eva Herzigova is…and I feel like you probably do, but I don’t and I’ve been writing the site for 10 years, which means I started when she was probably in her prime, and I still don’t know who the fuck she is…sooooooooo she’s in a one piece…this is not news, but the news is depressing. I don’t need to hear about 2000 people dying of Ebola in some African country that I know will spread to the rest of the world – killing us all off, a fear of mine when I was younger and a little more hopeful in humanity, but now something I am ready to see happen….or maybe the 1500 Christians killed in Iraq, the Isreal crisis, the Libya criss…shit’s fucking doomed…but Eva Herzigova can get us through this in her bikini…she’s a modern day superhero…someone give her the nobel peace prize like she was Nelson Mandela.

To See The Rest of the Pics Click Here

Posted in:Eva Herzigova

2014

30

Jul

Ashley Greene on a Trapeze of the Day

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A week ago – Ashley Greene posted these picture of her on a trapeze, and apparently, the world was able to go on. I know, surprising, you’d think she’d have the star power to shut down the internet, but only 9,000 people liked the shit, I guess making her pretty obsolete…which I guess is a life lesson to all of you girls aspiring to whore yourself into fame…sure a bit part on a huge franchise is good for your bank account, and a fake relationship where you pretend to be a virgin with a Jonas brother is a good way to maintain that audience…you know keep them engaged…but the second it is all over…it is over…because people have no attention span, fame is fleeting, and this bitch isn’t talent and doesn’t matter. She just knows how to strategically fuck, despite her “Promise Ring” she pretended to once have…when the only promise she made was to take it on the face if she got the part…

If you want to see Ashley Greene Paid By Target to Shop at Target…it’s a fetish to at least one person CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ashley Greene

2014

30

Jul

Rumer Willis isn’t Offensively Ugly Anymore of the Day

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I guess some mom’s teach their daughters how to cook and clean and be a good wife. Other mom’s teach their daughters that they don’t need to appease a man, and that they can be their own person. Then there are mom’s who encourage their girls to get an education or follow their dreams….while some mom’s say “don’t date a poor dude, rich guys are just as annoying but at least you have a nice house”…where as Rumer Willis’ mom taught her that if your face is mangled due to poor genetics, you can always fix it up and look sharp…

Her potato head is something mean bloggers made fun of, even though it was never that bad, and she wasn’t deserving of all the negativity spewed her way because people hated her mom. She’s a fucking victim…attacked for just trying to live…

And now, she’s got the last laugh, because she’s kind of a babe…but maybe I just like a girl with a mic shoved into her face…now that she’s pushing a singing career:

I guess the point of this is that I am all for girls rebuilding themselves, to rebuild their self esteem, I figure you can spend your trust fund on cocaine, or strategic surgeries, or both…it’s a vain world….so do what’s right…and Rumer…did what’s right…

Here’s her weirdo video…in a bikini rubbing down gay men…looking hot…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS of her Perfroming where she’s not that hot – but hotter than she’s ever been… CLICK HERE

Posted in:Rumer Willis

2014

30

Jul

Gigi Paris is Naked for Chris Shintani of the Day

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Her name is Gigi Paris. She’s not all that famous yet, but she’s doing the rounds of hipster modelling, and the cool kids are taking notice…like this photographer named CHRIS SHINTANI who she got naked for…I don’t know if it was for a campaign, or money, or just for fun, because getting naked is awesome for everyone, at least that’s what I tell girls I am trying to get naked…who never seem to believe me or trust my intentions, because I’m stroking my penis while I tell them to undress…it happens to even the most professional of us…

Posted in:Gigi Paris

2014

30

Jul

Chloe Grace Moretz in Flare for the Creeps of the Day

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Chloe Grace Moretz is some 17 year old who nerds have been masturbating to since she was 12. It’s a little strange to think that all you virgin losers are also pedophiles, but I guess being into comics, and seeing a girl in a superhero outfit, all while being unable to really differentiate reality from fiction, because that’s all part of being a delusional weirdo..it’s not your fault…I blame society…it’s the same reason you jerked off to Emma Watson in Harry Potter and I guess only their parents who are selling them out to the “sex trade” I call Hollywood are to blame…

Here she is in a fashion shoot, take it while you can, because soon…she’ll be 18 and the allure will be gone…even though I think she’ll go on to do some great…possibly naked things…it happens when they sell their souls at a young age.

Posted in:Chloe Grace Moretz

2014

30

Jul

Drunk Girl and Other Video of the Day

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Grannies ‘jumping rope

Gaming Addict Foaming at the Mouth

Robbery of the Day

Cow Drinking Milk

Bird Makes Sex Noises

Hood Fight…

Spiderman Fight….

Posted in:Videos

2014

30

Jul

Cameron Diaz’s Sex Tape Nudity of the Day

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Despite all of Cameron Diaz’s attempts to get noticed, I do everything I can to pretend she doesn’t exist, but then she does movies like “Sex Tape”, that she is clearly too old to be doing, but has pulled off some scam and is doing them…where she has a nude scenes – or at least a body double and the whole thing is horrible…but I’ll still post it..

For a hollywood whore, this is hardly whorish. You’d expect spread asshole and fisting…that’s really more the kind of girl she is…

Throwing Jason Segel into this – makes it so much worse…

Posted in:Cameron Diaz

2014

30

Jul

Justin Bieber and Orlando Bloom Fight of the Day

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I really don’t care about entitled cunts bitch slapping each other over model hookers like the little rich bitches they are…

But for some reason this story makes me laugh, only because I was told back in August of last year that Bieber fucked Miranda Kerr after the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show…directly from Miranda Kerr’s manager, and that was the reason why she got fired from Victoria’s Secret and why she broke up with the husband, who I was also told may be gay and who she had fucked many dudes while being married to him, the Bieber is just the one who got her fired…

So now, Bloom and Selena Gomez are linking up, and for some reason they all end up in the same party in Ibiza, because there isn’t a whole fucking world out there for these idiots to go to different restaurants, and some faggot ass fight happened and the whole thing is so stupid you have to laugh…

I hear after Bieber got slapped, he posted a pic of Miranda Kerr on his instagram…oh shit…this little girl takes no prisoners…

What a fucking joke, I wish real violence and real “we’re rich as fuck and make people disappear” happened. Not pansy spoiled brat gangsterism…it’s so silly. It must be a joke..

Here’s the video…and to think there is war, ebola, terrorism, Genocide, going on in the world…when we can all focus on this…important news.

Posted in:Fights

2014

30

Jul

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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Negotiating with family members about what it would take to make them have sex with you – like how much money would it take for your daughter to eat out her mom – is always funny when done in family restaurants…loud enough for everyone to hear.

Those places are made for that shit…

Here are some links…

15 Teachers Who May Have Been Drunk When Writing These Assignments
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Detroit Kid Shot While Sleeping…
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First Taste of Chocolate in the Ivory Coast. They are Like Kim K on her 14th Birthday
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Kim Kardashian Twitter War
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Nicola Peltz Cleavage.
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Jesse Ventura Defeats a Dead Guy
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FIND COUGARS TO FUCK – BECAUSE COUGARS ARE HORNY AND READY TO TEACH YOU ALL THEY KNOW!!
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Natasha Henstridge HUGE Tits
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Dude Buys His Mom a House
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WATCH GIRLS – YOUNG GIRLS – ALL GIRLS – AMAZING GIRLS – NAKED GIRLS – MASTURBATING GIRLS – #GIRLS!
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Water Main Breaks – Floods UCLA
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10 Crazy Beers
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Posted in:stepLINKS