DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

17

Jun

Alyson Michalka in a Vintage Swimsuit of the Day

Alyson Michalka is some Disney child star who I assume had a mother who sucked dick to make it happen, unless of course she sucked dick to make it happen, despite being a pre-teen. I hear the people at Disney are all about that shit….

I don’t think has done anything but child star 10 or 15 years ago…

But she did post a one piece bathing suit on the internet, showcasing a bit of her body, but screaming that she was probably molested by some casting couch people, and has faded into obscurity because she can’t be seen as a sexual object, and has in turn found the church, or maybe some sort of AMISH group that she is part of that forced her to show up on Swim day, dressed like it was 1920s…and I dig it…

I just figure people are so fucking perverted, porn is everywhere, seeing a girl cover up…makes her exciting…and less typical…if you’re a slut, reading this, cover up…it’s the future.

Posted in:Alyson Michalka

2014

17

Jun

Kim Kardashian Big Cleavage and her Stroller of the Day

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Kim Kardashian wore this shirt out with her baby for the paparazzi.

This was low level attention seeking, kinda like leaking a sex tape.

It was one of those “call the paparazzi, I am going out topless, they’ll eat this shit up”…staged bullshit to keep her on the map…

Even though, she’s too fucking fat to not be seen on the map, like the Great Wall of China, you can see this bitch from Space…and not just in the form of the porn DVD one of the astronauts brought up with him, because let’s face it, despite making her millions, or even hundreds of millions…it’s not that good…and either are her mom tits, clearly implants, doing what they are doing…

They just remind me that society is fucking doomed. That’s what Kim Kardashian’s legacy is… GET HER SEX TAPE HERE She’s a classy bitch. Isn’t she.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2014

17

Jun

Marique Schimmel Nipples for Vogue Italia of the Day

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Marique Schimmel is a dutch model. She showed her nipples in Vogue Italia. Nipples are fashionable….when they are in Vogue, but when they are on a nipple fetish site they are considered porn…and when they are on any website that isn’t a fashion site, they are considered porn, and if they are out in public they are considered obscene, and if they are in a MOVIE, they get a parental warning, even though the whole purpose of nipples is for parents…

We live in a ridiculous hypocritical society. Where brands pretend to be wholesome, while execs are getting fucked up the ass by tranny hookers on business trips, while the wife and kids are at home, popping prescription pills and showing a little intentional cleavage when the neighbor walks by, because of a need to feel wanted or loved…

It’s like nipples are basic human function…but the Mormons and Christians and whoever the fuck else decided that in America – that’s obscenity…in Europe that’s Fashion…it’s like can’t we figure out international policy on nipples so I can land a fucking AXE deodorant spray ad without being told I’m a porn site.

It’s annoying.

Posted in:Marique Schimmel

2014

17

Jun

Tila Tequila Pregnancy Nudity of the Day

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Attention seeker, mentally unstable, internet nude model, turned Myspace superstar, turned MTV show host, money making, relevant despite being useless, turned lesbian with a dead lover, turned jewish convert, turned LESBIAN PORNSTAR , HARDCORE PORNSTAR , Tila Tequila, who I have actually met at least once, and who was very sweet and pleasant…despite having her fans attack me not the internet back when she had fans, because I guess any idiot who supported her then, and joined her “army” has gone on to forget she exists…because there is no loyalty..once your show gets cancelled..just posted this pic of her pregnancy…topless…and hardly hardcore…considering she just released an anal porn ….you would assume didn’t end in pregnancy, because that is the foundation of Anal…

Either way, she shouldn’t give up on the PORNSTAR LIFE because she was good at it…in fact it is the only thing she’s been good at pretty much ever…

I like to think this is a soft sell for her sex tape in a “see how Tila Tequila got this way” so GET HER SEX TAPE HERE

Posted in:Tila Tequila

2014

17

Jun

Selena Gomez Reads Poetry for Instagram of the Day

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Selena Gomez is doing some vocal training, because I guess you can never be too good, not that Selena Gomez is that good, I wouldn’t know I’ve never seen or heard any of her shit…which I like to think is good thing…

I like to assume that her stage Mother coordinated this, since kids are lazy as fuck, and she doesn’t want the money that she could have used on her college fund but rather spent on moving to LA, to stage mom proper, putting in work, and sucking the right exec dick to get her in at Disney, the happiest place on earth to the people they market to, and the best vocational program in the entertainment industry, if you want to be in the entertainment industry, where they churn out starlets…

I am posting it because I find it kind of sweet and erotic, like a gentle whisper I can jerk off to because I am a high concept masturbator, and hardcore fucking doesn’t do it for me. I need black and white creepy erotica filled with face wide enough for even the biggest load…

Posted in:Selena Gomez

2014

17

Jun

Extreme Corester of the Day

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This seems like totally normal fat chick with breast implant behavior, it’s like strap yourself into the hourglass figure you want, by shaping your fat and making it deposit in all the “right places” that still make you look fat, just freakish, because your waist is 23 inches, and the rest of you is 500 fucking pounds of donuts…weird.

If you don’t like that kind of horror – here’s Tim Burton’s 1982 version of Hansel and Gretel…that aired on some Disney Channel on halloween 1983…

Posted in:Videos

2014

17

Jun

Izabel Goulart’s 10 Pm Workout in Paris of the Day

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Izabel Goulart posted this video of her working out in Paris at 10 pm, and it was very informative and inspiring, you know really allowing me to note her form and the importance of training your body, even when traveling, doing really basic exercises like this, you know that and the fact that I can stare at her ass and try to see her asshole, since it is after all the window to a girl’s soul…

Posted in:Izabel Goulart

2014

17

Jun

Micaela Schaefer Naked Press Conference of the Day

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Her name is Micaela Schaefer. She’s an over 30 year old model, built like a pornstar, who realized that when invited to the red carpet events in Germany, where she is from, she gets far more international press if she is naked.

She has turned that into constant nudity for the press, something that I think is pretty entertaining, since I like nudity and figure if you’re a total attention whore about it, it doesn’t make it seem desperate at all, but rather just funny on some high level performance artist kick…even though her tits, make me think she may have had other plans of stripping or escorting before figuring out this formula…

Either way, she’s shooting a nude calendar, where she plays a different “powerful woman” each month, this month was German chancellor Angela Merkel…and she invited the media to watch, because that’s what her whole purpose is…

Posted in:Micaela Schaefer

2014

17

Jun

Drunk Russian Tries to Take a Shit and Other Videos of the Day

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Some Assholes Waking Up Their Friend

Woman Stuck in the Toilet…

Weird Indian with a Tail…

Some Bee Porn

Weirdest Dogs Versus Rats

Wife Beater gets Some Street Justice

Frog vs Moth

Posted in:Videos

2014

17

Jun

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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I’ve been trying to troll a hardcore lesbian into breaking from her lesbianism to sext me…so that I can say “See, lesbianism doesn’t exist”…you know to trick her into either sending me a nude pic, or even to masturbate while talking to me….and it has been a challenge…a challenge that proves I have very little going on in my life…

Here are some stepLINKS…

Alec Baldwin’s Wife’s Insane Instagram Pic
GO

Today in THIGH GAPS
GO

Guardians of the Galaxy UK Trailer
GO

Cat Malfunction
GO

I lost my anal virginity to a cam girl last night…huh?
GO

Lauren Stoner in a Bikini
GO

Delta Airlines are Racists
GO

There is a Lifetime Movie on Aaliyah…I Wonder Who Plays R.Kelly Fucking her when she was 15.
GO

Fire Dogs
GO

The World’s Most Dangerous Wave
GO

10 Bonus Characters Who Should Join Bruce LEe in EA SPorts UFC
GO

Marky Mark Rides His Own Shoulders
GO

What Athletes Eat Before they Compete
GO

Dog of the Day
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS