DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2014

25

Mar

Alessandra Ambrosio Shoe Erotica of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio is fun at least when she’s modelling shoes and not really looking like Alessandra Ambrosio…not that Alessandra Ambrosio is a bad thing to look like…I am sure there are still teen girls locked in their bathrooms puking up lunch to be like her…and if that’s not a power position I don’t know what is…but I do know that tall models have big ass tranny feet and here she is getting paid to squeeze hers into high heels that I know at least one of you has a fetish for because you are collectively some of the weirdest people on the fucking internet…#fact.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2014

25

Mar

Heidi Klum in More Bikini Pics of the Day

No Comments »

I assume these are some of the pictures of Heidi Klum from yesterday where her nipple popped out of her bikini top while swimming with her army of black babies, who statistically, thanks to her divorce from Seal would probably make you think they’ll end up criminals, without factoring that each of them are worth more than an African village and combined, more than an African country…not that that matters…what matters is that after having 50 kids with a man who slaughtered her with his huge penis…she’s still pretty intact even at 50 and that blows my fucking mind enough to just stare…and that’s what I am going to do.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Heidi Klum

2014

25

Mar

Maria Menounos’ Vagina Quit Extra to Publicize Her Reality Show of the Day

No Comments »

Everyone always obsesses over Maria Menounos‘ 35 year old ass, without factoring in that she is Greek and that that ass is actually her vagina and that that ass has more mileage, while the real gold is in her actual vagina, that takes a backseat to her Greek vagina that she goes Greek with…

That said, she’s quit Extra, a show I had the misfortune of watching the other day, leaving me in a puddle of blood and sadness from trying to cut off my own penis because it was better than the smut mainstream media was shoving down the throats of the hicks that watched this shit…

She’s decided to go onto other things, like a Shitty reality show…that is probably as smut filled as her Extra reporting on celebrities, only now she’s going to be the celebrity they are reporting on and that’s good for her want to be famous ego…

While I figure her best performance already happened – with this THROWBACK VAGINA SLIP

Posted in:Maria Menounos

2014

25

Mar

Nina Agdal Nipples and Tit Grabbing her Tit in Editorialist Video of the DAy

No Comments »

On February 7…I posted a picture of Nina Agdal Grabbing her tit for a magazine called THE EDITORIALIST ..I probably wrote something very witty and amazing…that’s why I am internet famous and no one cares about me and you’re not…

You know about her disabled looking face that reminds me of a work program that Adam Levine took advantage of because it was disabled and couldn’t fend for itself…because otherwise we have to accept she fucked him by choice…meaning she’s into that kind of piece of shit…which may not be her immigrant fault…but she should know better…

Well, apparently there’s a video from the shoot with nipples and here it is…

Posted in:Nina Agdal

2014

25

Mar

Office Ladies and Their Money Shot Cake of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some office ladies, who look pretty much like typical 9-5 moms going nuts over their Money Shot Cake at some office cafeteria…it’s like these bitches haven’t seen a real cock that wasn’t there husbands in forever…and even when they saw that it wasn’t inside them in a fun or exciting way…this is the office lunch room version of a male strip club, where horny bitches let their hair out and lose their fucking shit to compensate for their shitty, typical, suburban lives…I think if a cake gets them this pumped, a little fucking TINDER encounters would change their fucking lives…you see you should never lose that spark and a cake should never make you this excited…unless you’re Kate Upton…

Old guy shoots a guy who tries to rob him…gangster…

A man demonstrating his crazy apocalypse proof knives…

Posted in:Videos

2014

25

Mar

Eva Green Topless in 300 of the Day

No Comments »

Eva Green is some french actress so showing her tits is like wearing a shirt for her, but the fact is that in her case, her tits are so good, they are like the best fucking shirt around…that even at 33 are lovely, luxurious and nice to see in some blockbuster bullshit movie she probably got paid well for but that I can assume is hardly as interesting as her debut movie The Dreamers where she was fucking her “brother”…because despite what anyone tells you – incest is the best.

Posted in:Eva Green

2014

25

Mar

Christina Milian Loves her Tits of the Day

No Comments »

Christina Milian loves her tits.

I guess when you’re a single mom you need to focus on your qualities rather than the fact that you’re a single mom because no one really wants that baggage, but when tits are in the mix, all of a sudden…bastard children don’t matter.

Words of wisdom.

Posted in:Christina Milian

2014

25

Mar

Hannah Davis in a Bikini Catalog of the Day

No Comments »

Luli Fama is some bikini company I’ve never heard of…but like all bikini companies, their catalogs fucking suck…

Sure they get models who are either hot, trashy, over-hyped, but ultimately, who look good in a bikini, and we all like looking at girls in bikinis, but they do it in the most generic and uninspired way.

I don’t have the answers and I can’t tell you how they could do this better, if I did, I would be in advertising, I just know Hannah Davis, who is some 24 year old, young model who was just in Sports Illustrated…born and raised in the Virgin Islands…in a bikini…doesn’t seem all that interesting…despite being half naked….where is the fucking concept LULI fame…you suck

Posted in:Hannah Davis

2014

25

Mar

Brittany Daniel 38 and in a Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Brittany Daniel is 38, but when she was 11, she was a Doublemint Twin, because she had parents who were smart enough to exploit the fuck out of their freak of uterus situation…enterprising.

That lead to a very important career in shows like Sweet Valley High and that’s pretty much it – she hasn’t worked since…except for the other day when some random pervert found her on instagram because he remembered jerking off to her in the 90s…that or he read recent reports about her battling cancer since 2011…only of find that she’s working it on instagram and at 38…this bitch still has it going on..

Someone needs to give her a second chance at least at a sex tape because I am a fan..and that should be enough reason for anyone to invest in her.