DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

13

Sep

Penelope Cruz Bikinis of the Day

I don’t know if Penelope Cruz is pregnant, recently pregnant, or just into eating baked goods, but I do know she’s in a bikini on vacation, from what I assume is a hugely stressful life that includes but is not limited to sitting on top of a pile of money and getting tons of free things from companies hoping you wear or endorse the shit…and I figure any excuse to kick back and get into a bikini…even if you’re not quite bikini ready..works for me…because any bitch in a bikini, fat or not, is worth looking at, even if it is for comedic reasons.

To See THe Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Penelope Cruz

2013

13

Sep

Nicole Kidman Gets Knocked Down of the Day

No Comments »

Robot created in Tom Cruise’s spaceship lab, Nicole Kidman got slammed by some hipster photographer on his hipster bike and she survived because she was built to handle an alien invasion…and the paparazzi got some HOT ASS PICS , I mean provided you’re like me and into robots because they can’t get pregnant, or like Tom Cruise because they speak to his Alien leaders, but more importantly they don’t fuck up his homosexuality when he has sex with them, because it’s not STRAIGHT if you marry and fuck a robot…even if it looks like it has a pussy…when really it just has double asshole…

To See THe Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Nicole Kidman

2013

13

Sep

Jojo Takes this Fitness Thing Seriously of the Day

No Comments »

Jojo has taken being laughed at seriously…she’s taken her fat ass her black boyfriends probably loved because it was rich and white and willing to fuck them…but there is no room for that in trying to turn around her non-existent career by trying as hard as she fucking can to get as hot as she fucking can…through fitness and I endorse that behavior…cuz a fat bitch is one I would take blow jobs from thanks to her proven ability to use her mouth, or in my case marry and hate, but it’s not one that I’d respect because she doesn’t respect herself.

Now I don’t care about Jojo, but I do care how bendy she is…

Posted in:JoJo

2013

13

Sep

Raica Oliveira in Some Bikinis for a Bathing Suit Company of the Day

1 Comment »

Raica Oliveira is a Brazilian model people hate because she has stretch marks on her ass…

I am not that person…and apparently neither are Victoria’s Secret, SI, H&M and a bunch of other companies….

She’s from Brazil and built for a bikini….is tall as fuck…29 and discovered by the same person as Gisele so she may be a tranny, but that would never stop you…especially when brasilian trannies are hotter bitches than you’ve ever fucked…

To See the Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Raica Oliveira

2013

13

Sep

Leilani Dowding in a Bikini for Attention of the Day

No Comments »

I love these Leilani Dowding pics only because they remind me how desperate the paparazzi are to put out pics of anything that gets in a bikini, even if they have no real skill, talent and don’t fucking matter….like who the fuck is this Leilani bitch and why am I doin’ posts on her working out…oh cuz she’s in a bikini and bikinis are fucking awesome…or maybe her trying as hard as she can to make bikini pics compelling and interesting like “Today, I’ll wear the red one and pretend to work out”…or “Next week, let’s go for the thong and I’ll get attacked by a Seagull”….in a “All the magazines will talk about me, even though that doesn’t get me paid or make me matter, it makes me feel good”…kinda way…

Bottom feeding at it’s worst, cuz she’s not getting fucked on camera…

To See The Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Leilani Dowding

2013

13

Sep

Alicia Keys Bikini Picture of the Day

5 Comments »

Alicia Keys posted this bikini pics, and she was clever enough to focus on her ripped stomach to distract you from her huge, scary, monster legs…and for some reason I am not offended by it…maybe I have been having sex with my vile wife for too long…

Posted in:Alicia Keys

2013

13

Sep

Hayden Panettiere Poses With Average Sized Dude of the Day

2 Comments »

Hayden Panettiere is substantially cuter when they throw her next to average sized people making her look like some kind of elf sent from heaven to give virgin nerds and homosexuals in the closet but who love broad shoulders something to masturbate to…it’s like this is the shit Santa built his little fucking sex palace in the middle of no where so he never got arrested for…elves you can both fuck who make your dick look huge, or use as a dildo when you want a P-Orgasm…multi-purposed…what can’t this bitch do…kinda thing…

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere

2013

13

Sep

Kelly Brook Does the Selfie of the Day

No Comments »

I guess Kelly Brook’s taking selfies is funny because it reminds me that no one wants to take pics of her…but she wants her pics taken even though she looks a bit like a mom in her 40s at the day spa because that’s what her husband got her last Valentine’s Day and the coupon is about to expire.

I mean, she’s like all the other Instagram is her agency girls..only she also releases self-produced calendars…trying to make us all think she matters..when all that really matters when it comes to her is her tits.

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2013

13

Sep

The Naked Trainer Video of the Day

1 Comment »

This Sam Jones chick is insane…

She has a Youtube series of her doing random things but this one is by far the best. She recruited some naked trainer from Craigslist, let him in her house, and shit is starting to get buzz around the internet, because it’s so fucking weird, awkward, but she handles herself so well through it…and if you don’t care about hearing her talk, you can always stare at her big tits in some leotard…doing fitness moves..cuz if you’re perverted enough, and you are, anything can be made pornographic…

Posted in:Videos

2013

13

Sep

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

No Comments »

There is something about sleeping through another cocaine fueled party with stepGIRLS and Sybians…that makes me question whether I am a real man…It’s Friday the 13th…this was my bill at the coffee show…spooky evil shit…

Here are some stepLINKS…follow me on INSTAGRAM

Big Boobs!
GO

Chainsaw Prank
GO

Kelly Brook’s Titties
GO

I Want to Have Sex with Eliza Coupe
GO

Some Tyra Banks Bullshit
GO

Screaming Goat Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball Video
GO

Demi Moore is Doing her Ex Boyfriend’s Dad
GO

Top 10 Segway Fails
GO

Man Uses His Bare Hands to Hammer Nails
GO

Street Sign of the Day
GO

So many Girls Getting Dirty As Fuck for Free ….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS