DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

01

May

Amanda Bynes Bra Picture of the Day

I have very little to say about Amanda Bynes. Other than I love her. Even when everyone else is saturating the topic, you know getting in the way of my love, by trying to understand this child star who went off the deep end, because that’s what the celeb media does, which is coincidentally exactly what she wanted.

It’s like she’s fit, she’s busty, she’s got long legs and the people don’t want anything to do with her, they don’t give her work and they don’t track her every move, which I’m sure to her made no sense, so with her team of hired people she decided to cause scandals, make them think you’re crazy and at least get them talking, knowing exactly what she’s doing, and really it’s been the best thing for her career.

People are bored, people like crazy.

This installment of bra flash, big titty selfie, in her scripted breakdown into crazy, is my kind of crazy. It is the gateway to more exhibitionism, which is really what the people want, and by people I mean me, because none of you fuckers matter, you’re just getting in the way of my connection with Amanda Bynes.

Amanda Bynes. She’s amazing.

Posted in:Amanda Bynes

2013

01

May

Miley Cyrus for V Magazine of the Day

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In case you didn’t know, Miley Cyrus is fucking hot and here she is at her fucking hottest.

I’ve been celebrating her break-up and her recent coming back into the limelight to show that fucker what he’s missing, ever since it happened. You know in a bitter, spiteful, typical girl way.

But this shit is just over the fucking top. I mean I’ve been documenting pretty much every pic she’s put on twitter, every song she’s put out, every short shorts, high heels, no bra, child star with serious underlying issues, but this V Magazine shit, pretty much jsut blew my fucking mind. I am almost as excited as the Disney exec who just hired her after her dad and mom signed the waiver saying they will never sue him for the blowjobs he gets from her as it’s part of the business….only the things i would to do her are far more perverted than that dude.

Seriously, as long as Miley isn’t talking, and as long as you don’t see her entitled brat ways, she’s glorious.

I’m into this.

Here’s the video

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

01

May

Vanessa Milde For Treats Magazine #5 of the Day

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In case you don’t know, Treats Magazine is some Fashion porn magazine out of LA, started by porn guys who realized mainstream advertisers like fashion nudity, not Sasha Grey getting throat fucked nudity, and there’s more money in a Mercedes ad, than a porn membership at.

So they figured to hires awesome photographers and aspiring models who are already with agencies but not getting anywhere, making them eager and willing to do whatever it takes to get out of their low-end competitive modeling, world and next level that shit. You know, really make a name for themselves in some hot erotica that can be spinned into nothing deemed trashy.

So it’s like two winning situations, coming together, to make you come together, but luckily at different computers, in different buildings, because that would be gay.

Think about that next time you cum, somewhere in the world, another dude is busting at the exact same time as you, like your orgasming bredren, you may or may not know, in some seriously homo shit, that’s really not homo, like getting a blowjob from a tranny with tits, as long as she keeps her underwear on…..Out of site out of mind bro

Posted in:NSFW|Vanessa Milde

2013

01

May

Izabel Goulart Hot for GQ Mexico of the Day

1 Comment »

These pictures of Izabel Goulart are for May’s issue of GQ Mexico, which I like to interpret as “Probably old pics of Izabel Goulart being re-used for a fringe market for GQ” and not actually new pics of her, but I’m not about to go through the Izabel Goulart archives of half naked pics to figure out if these are in fact sloppy seconds, because I don’t really care, I’m ore into just staring them, imagining dirty things I would do to her Brazilian ass, like threaten to have her deported if she doesn’t clean my dick with her mouth faster, and things like that, rather than understanding the GQ Mexico operations, that I can safely assume are one dude in a beater, smoking a cigar, in a cinder block home while his wife is out back milking the Donkey.

Right? Here are the pics.

Posted in:Izabel Goulart

2013

01

May

Jessica Hart’s Failed Poolside Photoshoot of the Day

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The most fascinating thing about bikini model from Australia Jessica Hart is not her gapped tooth she never got fixed. It is that she has the same strain of herpes as Paris Hilton thanks to dating his sloppy seconds Stavros Niarchos, who happens to be the billionaire heir who has probably fucked the most significant pussy of the last 15 years, because bitches love cake. Seriously, if you’re a chick, your strategy should be get knocked up by a billionaire 30 year old, your life will be fun, and anyone who tells you otherwise is an idiot. Don’t make it for yourself, use your looks to get it dammit, society is just jealous…

What it comes down to is that this Jessica Hart shoot, fucking sucks. I like my bikini pics more substantial, but I’ll post them anyway, I’m not a billionaire and have nothing better to do than sit here doing it.

This site is my luxury vacation home fuckers…

Posted in:Jessica Hart

2013

01

May

Rhian Sugden for Loaded of the Day

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Some Glamour model named Rhian Sugden did the Sharon Stone from Basic Instinct, without flashing her cunt, 2 decades later, for a reason I can only assume is a serious lack of creativity, because at this Glamour model level, all they need are the tits, so the intro storyline can be anything, including the movie that was on the night before the shoot that the creative directory just happened to come across and figure it was good enough to shit out, because he was hungover, lazy, uninterested and ultimately, the idea didn’t matter cuz it was all about the tits…and I think she looks good. I mean normally I hate on Glamour models, but whatever is going on here…I approve.

To See Sophie Anderton’s Spread from the Issue
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:NSFW|Rhian Sugden

2013

01

May

Miley Cyrus Pumping Gas Proper of the Day

2 Comments »

I always find it funny watching Miley Cyrus try to be normal. You know doing the things normal girls do and hate doing, like pumping gas, and owning the shit, like she just won an Oscar. She’s been so coddled her entire life, that making her bed for herself is something she fucking celebrates, in what normal people may not understand, because normal people weren’t raised in a fishbowl their entire life, a fishbowl that will be solely responsible for her fucking crash and burn….a crash and burn we can safely say we hope involved her tight grip on a cock in a sex tape and not on the gas pump.

All this to say, short shorts, long legs, heels at the gas stataion, or really doing anything, is my kind of softcore porn.

Miley and her hip hop hustle done bring it.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

01

May

Candice Swanepoel’s Mom Sets Off Some Red Flags of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel’s mom celebrated her birthday yesterday, so everyone wish the uterus that built Candice Swanepoel, instead of aborting her, a happy birthday. Her vagina was ravaged in the making of a vagina you all masturbate to, and she should be celebrated for that.

That said, looking at her picture and using my scientifically backed “Looked at the bitch you’re fucking’s mom before getting too serious, because the chances are she’ll end up looking like her, acting like her and aging like her because mom, although fat and scary now, was once young and vibrant, like the pussy you are sticking your dick in”…..leading me to think Candice Swanepoel may not be what she is now, in 20 years, but the good news is the world will probably blow up by then and we’ll never have to see it, so until then, Candice is toned and not muff gutted, her gunt is glorious not menopausal, so whatever she’s gonna age into doen’t really matter, because what she is today is all we care about.

To See The Rest of the Pics
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

01

May

Ken Jeong Photobombs Kate Upton in August 2011 of the Day

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In Augusts 2011 , Ken Jeong brought his frat boy – Judd Apatow / The Hangover brand of accessible, easy to digest, even though dude is an actual doctor and probaly has the capacity to be funnier, but why bother in a world full of fucking retards, who think “dance drunk asian monkey in a speedo, dance”…is genius…..to a GQ Shoot featuring Kate Upton, you know to make a viral video out of it, because movie star comedians aren’t supposed to be funny in the background photobombing fat busty overrated models during photoshoots, which is what the comedic masterminds figured made of good comedy…

Don’t get me wrong, I like photobombs almost as much as the next guy, and dudes pretending to jerk off water noodles, classic shit that will be written about by comedic theorists for decades to come, I just find it a little obvious.

You see these people have huge fucking budgets, star power and most importantly tits, making things pretty fucking weak….but luckily…the world are retards….

All this to say, this video, shoot is 2 years old. I have no idea why it is circulating so many years later, but I can assume it has a little something to do with Hangover 3.

Posted in:Kate Upton|Ken Jeong

2013

01

May

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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There is something magical about waking lawyer’s letters from Hulk Holgan’s legal team, threatening me for 100,000,000 dollar lawsuits if I don’t take down video of his sex tape in 24 hours, but not as magical as I thought my first brush with Hulk Hogan would be.

I thought it would be something like this….

That or tag teaming his daughter…. Here are some morning links….

Hilarious Compilation of Girls Modeling in Funny Ways….Hot Babes Failing is the Best
GO

In Case You Missed It – James Franco’s S&M Birthday Cake
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Some Chick Named Claire Sinclair in her Lingerie at her Ghetto Stratosphere Las Vegas Show That If You’ve Been to the Strat, You’d Probably Never Want to See
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The Horror…The Absolute Horror
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Dude Gives a Sunbathing Girl Some Unwanted Lotion…
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Animals Trying to Stay Awake
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Today’s Surprise Drunk Move…
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Rapping Real Estate Agent is Better than Raping Real Estate Agent
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Tramp Stamp Tuesday on Wednesday – Mind Fuck
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The 25 Memes of April
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NETFLIX OF PORN IS MY NEW FAVORITE THING!!!
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS