DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

20

Mar

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

I was up late laste night, not because I am raving at Ultra Music festival, and not even because I was makin’ it rain on strippers like I was lil Wayne before the death publicity stunt….I was instead watching romantic porn on my neighbors couch that involved a married couple…with sex so drawn out I could see the pubic hair growing back on the disgusting hooker…some Fred Flintstone 5 O’Clock shadow shit….

But then I went home and tried to jerk off to the Lohan mug shot making everything ok….what did you do ? No wait, don’t tell me, I don’t care.

Here are some morning links…

Calvin an Hobbes Bootleg Animation
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I want to Masturbate on the Lohan Mugshot
CLICK HERE

25 Teen Couples You Idolized Growing Up
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This Family Takes This MisCarriage Very Serious – AMAZING
CLICK HERE

Awesome Bikini Contest
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35 Facts About Mr Rogers
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Unique Houses Around the World
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Eminem Break Dancing…
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747 on an Ultimate Rejected Take Off Test – Sucks to Be the Test Pilot on this One
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NSFW – Big Titty Amateur Squirts All Over the Bathroom Floor
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Kristen Wiig Gets Animated and Not in a Hentai Porn – Unfortunately
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This Will Help You Get Laid….
CLICK HERE

Posted in:stepLINKS

2013

19

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

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Despite being married, I’ve decided I need more adventure in my life. So I am going to start up an online dating profile and see where it takes me. I am going to assume the people who online date are at the right level of desperation, but more importantly the perfect candidate to fuck with…but then again, I’m pretty lazy and kinda like sitting here staring at a wall. Is this what depression feels like? I wouldn’t know, I don’t feel anything.

Here are some stepLINKS….

Brett Michaels Thinks Kim Kardashian is Eva Longoria
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Katie Holmes Wants to Reproduce More…Maybe….Faschinating
CLICK HERE

Today’s Creepy Cat Video
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Beyonce In Shape – Scares Me – Cuz Her Shape is Not What I Consider Shape
CLICK HERE

Tramp Stamps!
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Bella Thorne is the Jailbait of the Day
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Jordan Carver Has Massive Tits
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30 Hottest Katherine Webb Instagram Pics
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Selena Gomez is Hot On David Letterman
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Awesome Dirty Diaper Prank
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Dancing With the Stars ASS FLASH
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Wind Flips a Semi Truck
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Girls in Sports Bras
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A Lot of Pics of Ultra Music Festival
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A Day in the Life of New York City….
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The 38 Sexiest Eva Longoria Pictures of All Time
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20 Hottest Photos of Stacy Keibler
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Girls Love Motorboating!
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Courtney Stodden Strips in Car Wash
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JWoww Looks Like a Haggard Stripper With SHitty Fake Tits and BRoken Dreams..
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This Picture of Lohan in Court Gives Me Boners…Multiple Boners
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The Weekend’s Celebrity Nudity Round Up
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Julianne Hough and Nina Dobrev and Kaley Cuoco Overpowered by Cheerleader Panties
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They Don’t Need Trucks in China
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I can’t Get Enough of These Girls
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Trashy Drunk Girls in Vegas (57 pics)
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In Case You Care – Clooney and Keibler Did Not Break Up So Now You Have No Chance in Getting Her – Cuz You Did When They Were Broken Up – Bummer….
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Sam Cooke Trashy as Fuck with Shitty Implants for Page 3
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One Direction Fans Threaten the Life of a Puppy Because One of the Member’s Bought it with his Girlfriend….Weird.
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Hottest Slave Leia You Will Ever See
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A Whole Lot of Hot Asians
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Britney Sprears Golfing!
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I Don’t Believe Selena Gomez Has Had Over Exposure – Love Her BikinI Tits.
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An Intense Drumline
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Lucy Pinder Titties in Nuts
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Here’s One Ass I’d Love To Lick
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Kerry Katona on the beach in a Bikini with her Big Black Lover
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Name This Hottie!
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LeAnn Rimes is Performing in a Tight Dress
CLICK HERE

I Can’t Wait for Lindsey Vonn To Use Her Strong Ski Legs to Choke Tiger Woods Out while he’s Going Down On Her after Finding Out he Banged 4 hookers
CLICK HERE

I Want to Get these Pics of Tiger Woods’ Ex Wife Pregnant
CLICK HERE

Golf Fail Compilation
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This Bitch Is Certainly Better When Drunk
CLICK HERE

Bradley Cooper is Dating Suki Waterhouse
CLICK HERE

Bikini Walking and Posing
CLICK HERE

Julie Bowen Boring in Lucky
CLICK HERE

Russian Road Rage
CLICK HERE

Stop Thinning Hair So Girls Have Sex With You
CLICK HERE

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From stepSMUT!! NSFW!
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Cam Girl Doesn’t Like the Taste of her Squirt
CLICK HERE

Enema Squirting
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Dancing Naked Girls
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Shy BBW SHower – Oh God
CLICK HERE

Toe Sucking Party is Better When The Girls Have Toes
CLICK HERE

All Kinds of Girls….I Said All Kinds of Girls….Naked on Cam….
CLICK HERE

I use Vibrators on Chicks Always….and they Love It
CLICK HERE

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stepSHIRT INTO Future
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This Will Reverse Thinning Hair – It’s Worth Trying – Babes Will Thank You
CLICK HERE

Posted in:stepLINKS

2013

19

Mar

Beyonce in Shape but Not in Shape of the Day

3 Comments »

Beyonce is a shape…round….but not in Shape….despite being featured in Shape.

I know that is a confusing statement, that I can translate for you, since I wrote it.

Beyonce is fat, sloppy, a mom and photoshopped for a magazine called Shape…that is about fitness, and people who are actually in Shape, but I guess they make exceptions when it comes to big A-Lister powerhouses, because it sells copies. Especially when controversial.

I hate how she’s trying to be a sex pot, trying to compete with Rihanna who makes her husband more money than god, something we can assume has led to Beyonce stepping up her game, by stripping down her clothes and as much as I generally love that desperation. I’m not digging this, but I’m still willing to try jerking off to it, to challenge my masturbation abilities.

It’s not self rape if I cum…but even if I cum, Beyonce is still the fucking devil.

Posted in:Beyonce

2013

19

Mar

Charlie Webster the UK’s Hottest Sports Reporter for FHM of the Day

2 Comments »

I was just emailed this story, from someone I can only assume is on FHM’s struggling PR team….trying to save the sinking ship….

Apparently, this is Charlie Wesbter and she is the UK’s hottest sports presenter, and she’s gone on to do FHM, possing off her bosses and colleagues in what must be a fucking lie to get attention to a girl I’ve never heard of, and assume you haven’t heard of either….

You see, we live in the internet generation, where everyday girls have cell phones with cameras, and both they and their boyfriends have access to porn. On nights when they aren’t together, but want to be together, they do this thing called sexting…which usually involves girls trying to outdo their guy’s favorite porno scene. Meaning they go hard.

I mean I just have a fucking website and I get girls sending me pics of beer bottles in their assholes while covered in cum and squirting….you know recreationally.

Making me think that anyone caring about a sexy FHM shoot, that is fully clothed, is all part of the master PR plan that involved and FHM shoot in the first place…

INCREASE RATINGS MOTHERFUCKERS….

I mean look ather, I feel like the chance any boss would care about an FHM shoot, especially in the UK where all girls are topless in magazines, are slim to fucking none. Even if this FHM shoot was gaping asshole porn from her summer vacation. No one would care. But I’ll role with it and post the pics because I’m a team player and got nothing better to do …

Here’s the video. Safe enough for Youtube. That’s the only upsetting thing in all this.

I just can’t believe these magazines still exist…but I’m glad Charlie Webster does. I’d let her read sports pages to my dick with her vagina any day.

Posted in:Charlie Webster

2013

19

Mar

Rosie Huntington-Whitely Misused in an Ad Campaign of the Day

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Rosie Huntington-Whitely is a model who is willing to get naked….who has been naked….who is continuously naked for her “craft”…even now that she’s gone onto replace Megan Fox in massive action movies I refuse to see because I am sure they will rape my brain and implant me with brain washing messages that tell me to consume, consume, consume like all those hollywood big budget things. From Lady Gaga music I know all the words to, despite never actually listening to it at my own will…to sudden urges to buy a fucking honda. We live in hell.

A hell that isn’t made better when Rosie Huntington-Whitely gets a job modeling but keeps her fucking clothes on. In fact, it makes it worse.

Posted in:Rosie Huntington-Whitely

2013

19

Mar

Nicki Minaj Titties Censored in this Behind the Scenes Video of the Day

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I have never been a fan of Nicki Minaj and seeing her in video reminds me how annoying she is…..because she is fucking annoying. Her whole act is bullshit, but it worked for her and for the most part I have no problem ignoring her, but she’s working on reinventing herself as a hardcore hip hop chick, putting on an act like she was James Franco in Spring Breakers. Sure she’s black, but went to acting school, and grew up with white people, making her the biggest Wigger around. I like her gutter drawl though, I almost believe it.

This video is a lot like the Lil Wayne death scare last week, only with more titties but still the same focus and that is to remind us Lil Wayne exists and is bringing it big with his new album. When really, if they wanted any press, they’d just be showing us Nicki Minaj uncensored.

Posted in:Nicki Minaj

2013

19

Mar

Top 40 Pics on Instagram from Ultra Music Festival of the Day

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Raving has gone mainstream. It has lost its soul of illegal parties where ugly people have drug overdoses, while massaging each other in fun fur, or dancing to bad music all night. I used to go to those parties because being an alcoholic pervert, it was a good place to drink until 10 am surrounded by underage girls on E who were into gettin’ down and they always smelled like shit.

Now all the suburban mall shoppers the real ravers of the 90s would probably hate, are eating this raver shit up, they are even dropping the word PLUR, like they went back to 1997 and raided all the socially awkward nerd freaks who needed to be bullied in their raver cloud.

The good thing about things going mainstream, isn’t that the DJs now make 100k a night, it is that the quality of pussy involved in it, running to see their favorite dubstep or techno or house DJ, like a gang of gays on poppers….is that the pussy is hotter than it bottom feeding disgusting it used to be.

I mean sure there were always babes at clubs, and big scale parties, so maybe this is nothing new….but the college girls who would be normally doing a wet t-shirt contest at a frat party are into this now and that’s kinda weird to me.

Here are the best, (first) 40 pics I found of crackhead girls half naked club girls in Miami, for the Ultra Music Festival, dancing to shitty DJs who get paid more than the Rolling Stones, because they are trendy and mainstream. They probably smell like 24 hours of sweaty dancing in their vaginas and I like that cuz when I used to go to raves, the girls were fucking meth scabbed, fat, and not the hot girls who were shopping at the gap.

Here are some girls havin’ some fun…

Posted in:Photos|stepLIST

2013

19

Mar

Mexican Weather Girl Cameltoe of the Day

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In Mexican weather girl news, here is a clip from one of our finest, even if I haven’t been to Mexico in 4 decades, I’m still fucking Mexican people, showing her camel toe on the job.

I figure it’s just typical Mexican vagina behavior, you know hungry for tight pants, while waiting to be off the air to fill the void with semen, in efforts to have 15 kids to make the new pope proud.

They start young, they keep it Catholic, but at least they give us a glimpse into their vaginas world, before it is too late and they are too fat to bother with.

Making me a fan of this thickness and her pussy lips.

Posted in:Videos

2013

19

Mar

Courtney Stodden Cooking in her Underwear is Fun of the Day

1 Comment »

I watched this on mute, so that is probably way I don’t want to phusically remove her from my computer screen via her fake hair, fake tits…you know a cunt punch straight through my computer screen….

So my perspective is just tight bodied busty girl who pretends she’s 18, cooking, without all her nonsense jokes….and that’s a good thing…possibly even a fetish…cuz girls cooking, now that they are all independent and shit, is pretty much fantasy, especially where I live.

Ridiculous, looking good, I appreciate her hustle. It’s a lot of fun….and my pug liked it too.

What a horrible, unhealthy, disgusting meal…but when made by a haggard stripper on a quest for fame…I would love to eat it….

TO SEE HER DOING HER BIKINI CAR WASH
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Videos
Mexican Weather Girl Cameltoe of the Day

In Mexican weather girl news, here is a clip from one of our finest, even if I haven’t been to Mexico in 4 decades, I’m still fucking Mexican people, showing her camel toe on the job.

I figure it’s just typical Mexican vagina behavior, you know hungry for tight pants, while waiting to be off the air to fill the void with semen, in efforts to have 15 kids to make the new pope proud.

They start young, they keep it Catholic, but at least they give us a glimpse into their vaginas world, before it is too late and they are too fat to bother with.

Making me a fan of this thickness and her pussy lips.

Posted in:Courtney Stodden

2013

19

Mar

Selena Gomez on Making Bieber Cry of the Day

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Selena Gomez in reinventing herself with her Harmony Korine project, and even David Letterman is calling him out for being a freak, which is pretty funny. I never knew if he was authentically weird, because the real freaks don’t get work, but Hollywood weird. But it is not as funny as Selena Gomez’s mom being a fan of his. Making me wonder if she masturbated to KIDS, or if KIDS is what inspired her to throw her daughter into this celeb game. Who cares.

The highlight of the clip, is that she admits to making Bieber cry, which is funny, typical, expected, you know because Bieber gets hormonal at least once a month before he gets his period.

I will be seeing the movie and what it comes down to is that she looked hot…and it is too bad I can’t eat tacos and watch her dance routine.

She’s cute. Good energy. I’m a fan. She’s the new Miley who is the new Lohan…..

Posted in:Selena Gomez