DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

20

Mar

Victoria Justice Posing with a Showgirl of the Day

I don’t know if I like this pic because I am a new found fan of Nickelodeon star Victoria Justice….even though I have never seen her show, she hasn’t leaked nudes or a sex tape, is relatively boring as fuck in all her pics and photoshoots, and the only interesting thing she has done is introduce us to her sister, who you know gets down. Mainly out of jealousy, cuz her sister gets all the attention and she can’t have that, so she uses her vagina to get even or at least to validate her worth. We like that.

But I think I like this pic because to date, Showgirls is my favorite movie of all time. It was robbed at the Oscars and anything that reminds me of that masterpiece makes life a better place to live.

Posted in:Victoria Justice

2013

20

Mar

Miranda Kerr for Vogue Australia of the Day

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Miranda Kerr is in Vogue Australia and she’s in a bikini top in one of the pictures.

I probably shouldn’t pay attention to things like this, I am sure there are many better things for me to be doing with my time….Like looking at pics of Miranda Kerr naked, or half naked, in the hundreds of posts I have done on her….but for some reason, I’m sucked into this one, maybe cuz it’s for a magazine that drops in April, making me feel like I am Michael J Fox, pre-shakes, traveling into the future, without getting off my fucking couch.

Here are the pics

Posted in:Miranda Kerr

2013

20

Mar

Olga Kurylenko for i-MAD Magazine of the Day

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Here is a photoshoot of Olga Kurylenko…..showing off some of her Russian dance moves….for some Magazine called i-Mad, that I’ve never heard of…

I know, it is disappointing that being a mail order bride or at least from the same world as mail order brides, and the whole mail order bride thing is something close to her heart that I am sure friends and family have taken part in over the generations of communist rule….

I mean it would explain why she’s been married multiple times, once for French citzenship in 2000, for American citizenship in 2006, and now she’s living in London.

Who cares about that

You can still see the bottom of her titties and that’s good enough for me…you see cuz her face is hypnotizing, practically perfect, and when that happens, especially on a 33 year old, I can ignore the fact that she’s clothed.

Posted in:Olga Kurylenko

2013

20

Mar

Katherine Webb’s Horrible Dive of the Day

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I refuse to watch the show SPLASH, because the concept and the fact that it is a show, totally offends me, even if it means seeing some low level beauty pageant winner who is really no one special, in her bathing suit making a fool of herself.

I mean a diving show? Really. I don’t even watch this shit when at the bar during the olympics.

But despite hating the shit, at least I can see the clips on the internet, cuz shit is funny.

Posted in:Katherine Webb

2013

20

Mar

Socially Awkward Nerd Recruits Kate Upton for Prom of the Day

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Autistic/Apsergers weirdos get away with a lot, because if I was to make a video requesting Kate Upton come to my PROM, the police would be at my fucking door, seizing my computers and questioning my intentions for her tits..

But get a jewish weirdo, who is likey good at math, humiliating himself on the internet, because this is his brand of nerd humor, and with being a nerd who is always mocked for being a weirdo, is comfortable in his own skin, even though he shouldn’t be….

And it goes semi viral, she finds it cuter than my video inserting objects in my asshole in a bathtub full of burgers, cuz her belly makes me think she can never turn down burgers.

Either way, I’m just shocked that weirdo high school kids are exactly the same as always, you’d think they’d evolve into a different kind of weird.

This whole thing, and all the bad jokes, makes me uncomfortable, I’m just posting it to put the pressure on Upton to show up an go through with this, cuz every pre-mature ejaculator deserves a chance.

His multi million dollar inheritance and the babes who will be thrown his way, coupled with his dad booking Rihanna for his Bar Mitzvah, aren’t enough winning for this loser.

How about some Kate Upton in the only shoot she’s done that I’ve found her hot….the Nipples getting out of the pool for GQ

Here is her Cat Daddy video..

The amount of nerd semen spilled over this pig…is disgusting.

Posted in:Kate Upton

2013

20

Mar

Gisele is Hot Booty on the Beach of the Day

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In the past, I have accused Gisele for being a dude…born with a penis…but only because she had a hard face and was from Brazil, where 60% of the hot girls are born dudes, and 20 percent of the hot girls who were born girls, have clits the size of your dick. True story, they do things different there. I even went as far to say she was wearing a prosthetic pregnancy bump…because dudes can’t have babies, except on Oprah.

In the past, I have been disgusted by women who reproduce, because having babies ruins their bodies, from stomach to vagina….and hormonally they become all fucking lazy and slobs…not to mention they are burdened with brats who make me mad and also make me a stepfather even in my sexual fantasies….

But motherfucker, this booty is amazing….seriously, I finally understand her appeal, why she got cast with big brands to be half naked, and dude or not, the estrogen is pumping and this ass is from another planet.

I mean shit, she’s carrying her latest Tom Brady baby, and I can still wack off to her…

That’s talent.

TO SEE THE EREST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen

2013

20

Mar

Hannah Davis in FHM South Africa is Worth Knowing of the Day

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Hannah Davis is a 22 year old American model who grew up in St Thomas in the Virgin Islands….which probably makes her the only model ever to come out of U.S. Virgin islands, but life on the beach, would explain why she looks so good half naked….

I’ve never heard of her, but after some research, apparently she’s done some Victoria’s Secret work, but more unfortunately, has done some Derek Jeter cock. Cock, that has been linked to so many herpes ridden vaginas, leading me to assume that she’s just another statistic, but since I’ll never meet her, and even if I did I’d forget who she was as I tend to do, herpes don’t matter….I mean even when I’m about to stick my dick in a whore during outbreak, herpes don’t matter. I like to consider myself a carrier who can’t get tainted like that…at least when it is convenient to think that…while drunk.

Either way, she’s making big moves for herself. FHM South Africa. That’s like the holy grail for models (No it’s not).

Posted in:Hannah Davis

2013

20

Mar

Melissa Debling for Zoo’s Very Booby Babes of the Day

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Show NSFW Content

I love that a magazine’s main feature article can be called “Very Booby Babes”….and advertisers still advertise on the shit…It’s almost like a fucking joke…that three retards who were chronically masturbating together came up….but dudes love titties, including myself, and I guess tits are the only reason these magazines are being bought….

Her name is Melissa Debling, she’s our Glamour model of the day. We can assume her story is the same as all the other glamour models…either she had no dad growing up, or she was the fat girl in class, and now she’s getting the male attention she deserves…..because waitressing is too much work…and stripping is too degrading, she’d never do that…but posing in magazines, well that’s the stamp of approval that makes showing her titties ok…and I’m glad it happened….big saggers.

Posted in:Melissa Debling|NSFW

2013

20

Mar

Katie Holmes is Lubricated in Allure of the Day

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I feel like I’ve seen these pictures of Katie Holmes before, but it may have been from a sci/fi movie, where she was climbing out of her alien pod, covered in some protective plasma gel, that all Alien forces use in their transition from their Alien form to human form…or maybe it was a porno movie after taking load from 40 dudes…either way, I feel like Tom Cruise and his masturbation needs, despite their divorce are behind the creative direction of this…you know since he is from a higher power and controls everything from his space lab…

I think she looks kinda hot, even with that mom gunt.

Posted in:Katie Holmes

2013

20

Mar

Daniella Monet is Steppin’ Up to the Instagram Gates of the Day

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Daniella Monet is the supporting actress on the Nickelodeon hit Victorious….If you’re not a total fucking pervert who watches Nickelodeon, or a father of tween girls who is forced to watch Victorious, you probably don’t know who she is and you have probably not masturbated to her because anything is better than having sex with your wife….

Well, she’s 24, she’s a vegan, she’s got a very G-Rated career, but like Vanessa Hudgens and Selena Gomez….that shit’s starting to turn south, in a good way….cuz selfies in workout cloths, like sports bras are the gateway to nudes, and nudes are the gateway to more “adult roles”….and more adult roles means threesomes in Spring Breakers….so let’s all encourage her to get to where she needs to be….fuck Nickelodeon, get naked, you big faced angel.

Posted in:Daniella Monet