DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

28

Mar

Ireland Baldwin Bikini Pic of the Day

Ireland Baldwin isn’t 18, but she’s gonna be a babe when she grows up, in 6 fucking months, when she turns 18, not to mention already legal in Canada, unless she wants to strip or do porn or buy smokes, but not all that perverted to lust after cuz in 6 months, she’ll look and act the fucking same, it’s not like some fucking revelation filled with wrinkles, maturity and life experience is gonna happen. Not to mention kids get their periods at 7, fuck by 12, and have seen more porn than you have since they were raised on the fucking internet, making those 6 months almost just formality….

Her parents Alec Baldwin and Kim Bassinger…I’ve already fought with Alec Baldwin on social media for reserving a date sometime next year with her, because Alec Baldwin doesn’t like me on Social Media. We’ve gone back and forth a few times, the latest over his daughter, a daughter who he publicly shat on during his Divorce, leading to the hope of daddy issues, because I love Daddy issues, especially when they look like this.

Posted in:Ireland Baldwin

2013

28

Mar

Heather Graham in her Bikini of the Day

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Apparently, Heather Graham lives and all it took was putting on a bikini to get that message out to us. The great tits from the late 90s and early 2000s still exist, a decade older and sloppier, but less sloppy than you’d probably expect. I just prefer getting reminders that involve more nakedness and less being 50 fucking years old…

Now let’s fucking celebrate by forgetting I wasted my time posting this and drinking as much as we can without dying.

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Posted in:Heather Graham

2013

28

Mar

Lindsay Lohan Bushing her Teeth on Set of Anger Management of the Day

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Lohan is the best. There’s so many rumors about her lately, from homewrecking, to lesbianism with Kristen Stewart, to being asked to leave the set of the show she’s on, to ditching rehab for Coachella, reminding me that she still fucking matters, something I’ve been saying forever, you see cuz as hard as she falls off, she’s still Lohan and she’s still got great fucking tits. I’m on her team, in her court, and would love to be in her bed.

These are a few pics she posted to instagram…reminding me that I would also like to brush Lindsay Lohan’s teeth….with my dick.

Speaking of toothpaste….

Here are pics of her in bed with Charlie Sheen….from their show she is probably going to win a Golden Globe for hot tits….right?

I love me some Lohan.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2013

28

Mar

Vanessa Hudgens Showing Some Bra of the Day

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Vanessa Hudgens is showing off some of her bra….pretty tame for a slut trying to get ahead for being a slut. A slut who made headlines for leaking nude pics of herself that were apparently for some boyfriend at the time but who we all know were for the press. A set of nude pics her people said were shot pre-18, making sites scared of being charged with kiddie porn, when really she shoulda been the one charged for kiddie porn for producing it. More importantly she should have shaved her fucking bush in the shit, because unlike me, the general public hates bush, and in trying to market yourself properly as a slut, you need to adapt to their needs and what it all comes down to is that Vanessa Hudgens is a fucking disappointment.

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Posted in:Vanessa Hudgens

2013

28

Mar

“Jailbait” Ariana Grande and Mac Miller Have a Song of the Day

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Ariana Grande is some jail bait from Nickelodeon who guys who watch Nickelodeon are into, because I get requests for her nude pics often, and I assume those requests come from people who know who she fucking is, and since her only role to date has been on a kids show, I’m gonna assume that revelation and love for her happened while masturbating to a kids show…

Well, it turns out she makes music with white rappers, I guess re-inventing herself in a time of change, when moving away from

Posted in:Ariana Grande

2013

28

Mar

Amanda Bynes Still Turns Me On of the Day

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Amanda Bynes is pretty fucking perfect. She’s got these long legs, these great fucking tits, she isn’t fat, she probably still has some money left over, and she’s entertaining as fuck as her empire collapses around her, thanks to being a child star, robbed of her childhood, prostituted to execs, then forgotten the day she turned 18.

I love her fucking look, even when she’s hiding her face from the paparazzi, because she’s actually trying to get noticed, while they just ignore her while she walks the streets, so she’s gotta pull off stupid stunts like a reality star and I love it.

She also posted these words of wisdom that I totally agree with – at least when it comes to women

It doesn’t matter what you think of yourself. All that matters is what your lover thinks of you

Something that I’ve been saying to chicks, especially fat chicks for years.

I mean the only thing that would make this girl better is if these were pics of her bouncing on my dick.

But even without that – she’s good. I want to marry her.

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Posted in:Amanda Bynes

2013

28

Mar

Melissa Debling is the Glamour Model of the Day

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A day is not a day unless I post a picture or a set of pictures of a Glamour model and her big old tits, to help validate her as something you’d want to fuck and something that is an actual model, despite not being all that hot, and more importantly being short and curvy, unlike actual models. But like I always say, anything to trick a bitch into getting topless, whether it is money, promises of backstage passes, or fame and fortune from low level magazines spreads, is something I endorse.

Posted in:Melissa Debling|NSFW

2013

28

Mar

SoCal Val and Traci Brooks in a Locker Room Photoshoot of the Day

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It amazes me that wrestling, in all it’s fucking stupidity, still exists. Hicks and rednecks and closet case social awkward idiots still flock to their TVs to watch grown men play fight, like it was the 80s and real fighting wasn’t televised. It just makes no sense.

The only thing that does make sense about the shit is not THE ROCK, or Stacy Kiebler, but the fact that they cast these stripper bitches for the trash to flock to and jerk off to, when they pin them up in the ring to grind around like a backyard mud wrestle, without the mud.

So I don’t know who SoCal Val or Traci Brooks is, but I am sure 90 percent of people in a trailer park do, which means you. So here are some pics of their photoshoot.

I don’t find them hot – but they are naked and sharing a towel, as poor people do, so here are the pics.

Posted in:SoCal Val|Traci Brooks

2013

28

Mar

Amy Smart Little Hard Nipple of the Day

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I don’t know what is more shocking. that I am doing a post on Amy Smart, a 37 year old actress who barely existed even at her prime, or that she’s gone off and gone fat, like a doughy piece of shit that has been left in the corner of hollywood, but who isn’t wearing a bra and who has a hard nipple, making her almost relevant, despite how unfortunate her weight gain has been at selecting body parts in which to gain wait….I mean shit, this post would almost be hot if that belly was more of a set of tits….

That’s all I have to say about that.

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Posted in:Amy Smart

2013

28

Mar

Tamara Ecclestone’s Playboy Sneak Peak of the Day

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Tamara Ecclestone is some rich kid, heir to a multi-billion dollar fortune, making her performance in Playboy not one to market herself for a better life. You know, to open doors like she was Pam Anderson or Jenny McCarthy, or even Sara Jean Underwood and the Hefner girlfriends who all made a solid retirement plan out of posing nude. This bitch is rich enough to own the shit multiple times over, just out of the interest she makes on her trust fund. So her posing for the shit, with her fake titties and fat ass is strictly ego. It’s strictly a cry for attention cuz daddy was too busy making billions to read her bed time “stories”, reminding me of something I’ve knows since the first rich cunt I fucked, and that is that they are far more broken than the street hookers I’ve got with for 5 dollars, only their drugs, panties, and hotel rooms are all 5 star luxury, but their souls are equally empty, depressing, sad and hurting places. But at least they don’t smell like fucking shit. Making them, a little bit better to kncok up when you get the chance.

Here’s preview of her Playboy shoot, and I know, I was surprised Playboy still exists, after than Lena Dunham spread, I just assumed it self destructed like it was Heff’s prostate.

Posted in:Tamara Ecclestone