I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2013

07

Mar

Jennette McCurdy Twitter Bikini of the Day

Jennette McCurdy is my internet girlfriend…I try to sext her on twitter sometimes…she always ignores me…but I think she’s just playing hard to get…and I like her thinking she’s in the driver’s seat…cuz the driver’s seat is usually my favorite place to make love….at least with street hookers…because I can’t afford a hotel room and my wife frowns upon me bringing them home with me….

She’s a country pop star…she’s on Nickelodeon tv shows….she’s a recipe for disaster at the tender age of 20….you know one of those falling off hard when people forget she exists…but for now she’s lovely and posing in her bikini for the internet…which I think makes her perfect….or at least on the right track…

Posted in:Jennette McCurdy

2013

07

Mar

Edita Vilkeviciute in a Bikini for H&M of the Day

I’ve done a few posts on EDITA VILKEVICIUTE over the years…

She’s a top…but more importanlty TOPLESS …model from Lituania who I can only was human trafficked to the monsters at Victoria’s Secret…where she walked their fashion show…..before escaping their evil grip when she decided to walk for H&M instead…..blacklisting her from one brand…getting her picked up by another where she doesn’t have to compete with a huge roster of babes….Model politics…are far less interesting than staring at the motherfuckin half naked pics….

Posted in:Edita Vilkeviciute

2013

07

Mar

Alessandra Ambrosio Bikinis it Up for Money of the Day

Unlike you, Alessandra Ambrosio gets paid to prance around in her bikini….so you’d think looking at pics of her in a bikini would be uneventful, typical, even boring….because we’ve seen it all before…but I like to think of it as watching a great juggling act more than once…or listening to guy playing the same guitar solo on repeat….only the bikini version…

Sure it’s familiar…it has been done….but it just speaks to your soul like a magical angel sent from heaven to watch over….more importantly….it offers us a baseline to compare the women in our lives to….to feel inadequate….but content knowing that this kind of mom body exists…even if the closest we will get to it is masturbating to it….

She’s a babe….she’s in a bikini….she’s getting paid…and we’re all assholes for celebrating it like it matters…but I’ll still celebrate it like it matters….cuz I have nothing else going on.

Here’s the video…


TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
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Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2013

07

Mar

AJ Cook Has Fit Body for Twitter of the Day

AJ Cook is some Canadian Actress born in the 70s…making her pretty fucking old…who I have never met…because I guess we weren’t at the same Igloo village of ice during maple syrup harvest….not to mention, I avoid women born in the 70s…even when they are hot…cuz I don’t like their lowered fertility….not that I like fertility….but I don’t like bananas….but if I have to risk eating one…I’d rater one be perfectly ripe, maybe even a little on the unripe site…rather than black and rotting…

She’s on Criminal Minds, she was in Final Destination 2 and she’s a fucking mormon…despite being an actress…surrounded by evil and filth…getting paid to be a sexualized and unchristian role model…totally being anti-mormon….

I mean even her posting smut like these fitness pics to the internet is anti mormon….so based on her believes…she’s going to hell…and I like that in a woman….cuz it usually means they are into anal as birth control…except for that time she got knocked up……

The world is twisted….

Posted in:AJ Cook

2013

07

Mar

“I Just Need a Girlfriend” of the Day

This is ridiculous…..and makes me feel uncomfortable watching it…it’s pretty homo….but the dude is fucking jokes….talking about his vampire fetish….his cat Mr Whiskers….his ex gf from facebook who was a hermaphrodite which is something that must have to do with atheism….and his list of requirements for his gf needing fat blowjob lips….and a big tongue….no asians….a nice tan, big boobs, nice tan….and it goes on…

This kid needs his own reality show….his comedy….is gold and the internet will love him like he was Jennifer Hudson in dreamgirls…

Posted in:Videos

2013

07

Mar

Sabine Jablonski Doing a 360 is the Glamour Model of the Day

Sabine Jablonski is today’s Glamour model….but only because she’s doing this Page 360…..360 degree turn…in what is not quite a video…not quite a picture…commonly known as an animated gif….showing the world her entire body….topless and in panties…like she has nothing to hide….in what is almost as sexy as a medical exam for someone who doesn’t have a medical exam fetish…because she’s just standing there straight up…not posing sexy….ready to be felt up to see if she’s got titty, vagina or anus cancer……

The real question in all this is whether or not she could she find heels any higher to try to make her short..stalky…typical glamour model body…..seem as long and as luxurious…as possible….and I’m goin’ with No….

Posted in:NSFW|Sabine Jablonski

2013

07

Mar

Selena Gomez Sexes it Up for Harper’s Bazaar of the Day

Selena Gomez is on a seriou promo kick for Spring Breakers…and I guess her clothing line…because like all celebrities….they attach themselves to clothing manufacturers who put out collections under the celebrities name….and split profits as long as the celebrity pretends she is involved in when talking to the media…and as long as the celebrity wears it to at least one event per month…because the world, at least America…only care about celebrities…and copying celebrities…and getting a taste of celebrity through a jacket named after a celebrity sold at Wal Mart…it is fucking crazy..

What isn’t crazy, is I think Selena Gomez is alright, at least in this Harper’s shoot….but that could just be because I like the fact that she sex offended Beiber for publicity….back when he was 16 and she was 18 and he was experimenting with girls to make sure those tricks Usher taught him about hiding the football in his ass weren’t all life had to offer….

Right?

Here’s the behind the scenes video…

Here’s a video of Selena Gomez being interviewed by some crooked faced Aussie who is fucking insane enough to give me boners….even though I generally don’t like my women makin jokes, or even talking, this one here is pretty ok…

Posted in:Selena Gomez

2013

07

Mar

Amazing News Story of the Day

This gun in the pink, meth in the stink story really brings a whole new perspective on the world and where we are as a species…and that is in an amazing, entertaining…big vagina-ed place….with little fear of blowin’ our uterus out because our uterus is already blown out…thanks to all the abortions from unwanted sex to fund a meth addiction….and miscarriages….and HPV….that went into shaping this amazing woman in the girl she is today….a Star..who made it on the news….

I may be in love with her…

Posted in:stepNEWS

2013

07

Mar

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

I want more people to be my friend on FACEBOOK …because I like staring at your vacation pics for a very long…drawn out…almost creepy but luckily no one sees me time…..

Last night was all about love…through self hatred….this morning is all about some morning links…..

Click em and set yourself free….

Miley Cyrus Deletes Twitter – My Penis Cried
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Leonardo DiCaprio Doing The Jack Nicholson Face
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Timberwolves Harlem Shake is Good….
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Ashley Benson for Seventeen
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Hot as Fuck Gym Chicks
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Sea Lion Chasing King Penguins
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Woman Breast Feeding Her Dogs Gif is So Weord
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The Weirdest Pics of People Playing Magic….That Will Remind You of your Life
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Lacey Banghard Lookin Amazing for NUTS
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News Anchor Loses His Shit Over Swimming Cat
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Lindsay Lohan is Keepin Her Lawyer
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The Worst Pics of Men Holding Cats Ever
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Nerdy Girl Finger Bangs on Train
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A Little Too Heavy for this Strong Man
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25 Things from ’90s Movies You Don’t See Anymore
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Erin Andrews Tries to Sex it Up
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Morning Blowjob in the Tanning Bed
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Stoya Doing Fashion Porn
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Give This Slut Kimmy a Chance
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This is an Awesome Pic of MIley
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Hlarious Video of a Dude Pulling Down a WOman’s Dress in the Parking Lot
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I Like Watching Amateur Girls on Webcam for Free
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:stepLINKS

2013

07

Mar

Jessica Simpson is Having a Boy of the Day

The biggest mistake in trying to determine the sex of Jessica Simpson’s baby…is trying to determine the sex of Jessica Simpson’s baby….because you shouldn’t care about anything to do with

The other mistake in trying to determine the sex of Jessica Simpson’s baby is trying to interpret Jessica Simpson….when some retards just can’t be cracked cuz they are retards…

Not that you really have to interpret anything….since she announces she’s having a boy on the Kimmel Show…but I like to think it was more of a cover-up to her comment of “who knows a wiener could make me this nauseous”…..because I guess it is not very Christian to talk about dicks making you sick in reference to being cummed inside….

All this to say, why the fuck am I posting Jessica Simposn pregnancy news…that’s not erotic…and either was she in the making of this pregnancy….it was all greasy BBQ fingers and one too many beers….

Posted in:Jessica Simpson