DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

25

Mar

Victoria’s Secret March Madness Mega Post of the Day

I feel like I’ve posted these pics hundreds of times before…with the same cast of characters and with other girls posed exactly the same way, wearing products that were exactly the fucking same, expect with a different fabric.

This mega post includes Behati Prinsloo, Erin Heatherton, and Maryna Linchuk, because when girls get half naked, under any and all circumstances, I pay attention, even if shit is boring, repetitive and a waste of all our time….I mean as much of a waste of time as half naked catalog pics of babes can be.

Posted in:Victoria's Secret

2013

25

Mar

Helen Flanagan in a Bikini of the Day

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Helen Flanagan is the Soap Star from the UK turned Glamour Model, because no one cares about Soap Stars in the UK, but everyone cares about Glamour models, in what I would consider some backwards logic, but don’t really bother looking too much into it, as Glamour models are hookers, who get naked, and slut out for the camera, and that’s enough of a dream and aspiration for me. In fact I think all girls should aspire to that. Fuck actual careers. Being half naked is what really matters.

Either way, I’m a fan.

TO SEE HER ON THE BEACH IN A BIKINI IN DUBAI
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Posted in:Helen Flanagan

2013

25

Mar

Doutzen Kroes and Candice Swanepoel Together in Bikinis in Miami of the Day

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Doutzen Kroes and Candice Swanepoel in bikinis…together….like this was a Victoria’s Secret shoot, but really it is on their spare time, and they are doing it for free, is like a doctor on Doctors Without Borders, or a lawyer doing pro-bono work in the ghetto, or a fucking pornstar fucking you for free. It almost doesn’t make sense, but it is a glorious experience, that feels like you may have won the fucking lottery to make it happen. I mean shit, to book these girls to do this in front of you is probably 10k each…and here they are doing it for free….amazing….especially Candice ass…my god, this is the best pic ever.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
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Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|Doutzen Kroes

2013

25

Mar

Nabilla Benattia has an Amazing Skirt of the Day

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I have no idea who this chick is, I just know she has 200,000 followers on twitter, most are probably fake, but her feed is updated every 10 seconds, I’m talking bitch tweets non fucking stop, or at least her team does.

I think she’s on a show called Hollywood Girl, which is a reality show from whatever country she is from, following around some trash can stripper slut, on her adventures in Hollywood, but I can’t be too sure, I’m too busy looking at her short fucking skirt.

The fame game amazes me. It’s like why is this pig of a person with awesome tits willing to expose herself like a pornstar famous even at a low level, I mean there are so many girls with tits here who are just as trashy and unable to reach the great heights this one has reached….oh right….cuz of the great tits and willingness to expose herself. The world doesn’t need talent, it just needs a willingness to exploit.

I think I’m in love.

To See The Rest of the Pics
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Posted in:Nabilla Benattia

2013

25

Mar

Holly Peers and Friends Flashing Their Tits for NUTS of the Day

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I am always down for a good titty flash. In fact I am really into flashing of all kinds even when their careers involve showing tits, there’s still a level of excitement when the shirts come off, even if it is on a photographer set at they are getting paid their day rate, I can pretend this is fucking spring break and I’m on the receiving end, because I wasn’t flashed enough as a kid. The girls were flashing all the cooler guys, so blame my inadequate youth and the prude bitches I grew up with for my perversion and obsession with tit. I am a product of my upbringing….at least that’s what I tell security when girls complain my chanting “show me your tits” is creeping them out. Uptight bitches.

Here’s some Glamour models. Less uptight.

Posted in:Holly Peers|NSFW

2013

25

Mar

Rihanna is Fun on Instagram of the Day

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Rihanna is a lot of fun. Not because her tour bus got busted for having weed on it and some asshole was her fall guy, because he gets to work for Rihanna and she can’t go down for drugs, even though she posts pics of her smoking all the fucking time, pics that are far more fun because she’s also posting pics of her slutting out, whether licking some chocolate diamond or humping the air in her stage costume, to booty in underwear, it just never ends. She was rumored to be a hooker in Barbados, and old habits die hard, especially when she’s a hooker to the world now, selling her soul and low level talent to make a lot of people rich. This may come crashing down eventually, but I like watching it. I even went to her concert last week, sure it was for free, and I got more of a kick out of her stripper fans twerking, but I was still part of the movement and when I see her pics, I’m not ashamed of that…even if I should be.

Posted in:Rihanna

2013

25

Mar

Katy Perry’s Recently Single Tits at the Kid’s Choice Awards of the Day

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She may be a cankle-y, shitty bodied, no talent hack who fucked the right dude in her “I’m a Christian” rebellion when living in LA and going to all the hipster parties….

Her thick legs and dump ass may be vile and disgusting as her fat spills over her shoes…..her bad skin and annoying face may be the kind you would want to piss on in the event you ever got her home with you…you know the kind of girl you don’t need to respect cuz you’re doing her a favor, provided she wasn’t Katy Perry and a superstar with a huge bank account built on lies…

But you shouldn’t notice any of that…cuz girl’s got herself some titties…and sometimes that’s all that matters…

She was at the teen choice awards…seems like an appropriate choice in outfits for all the teen girls to idolize….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
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Posted in:Katy Perry

2013

25

Mar

Leighton Meeseter Ass in Leggings of the Day

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I remember when Leighton Meester was born in a halfway house because her mother was a criminal in jail for drug smuggling. Teaching her daughter the tricks she learned in prison to get ahead in life. Leading to Leighton’s career in foot fetish porn, before fucking her way to a TV Show, making enough money so that she doesn’t have to be a porn star like she was destined to be, or a stripper, or even a drug dealer like her mom. Taking her mom’s sacrifices and squeezing them into a pair of gym pants, a type of clothing that would even make a dude’s ass look awesome, no homo, and for some reason, I’m not so into it, and that reason is probably a hatred to porn sluts that have got away.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
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Posted in:Leighton Meester

2013

25

Mar

Miley Cyrus Keeps the Twerk Team Alive of the Day

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Miley Cyrus released a Twerk video in a Unicorn jumpsuit last week and the world went nuts, because clearly we are all bored as fuck and don’t have much else to worry about, but also because Miley’s a bit of a tight bodied babe, from a spoiled Disney past, who during her quest to find herself and stay hip, has been hanging with rappers and spending time on the internet, learning about what the kids her age are into, like some kind of alien locked in her house, unable to interact with normals.

And thank god for that, because her twerking has stuck, and she’s making it a thing, and here are more pics of her getting into the Twerk…something we’ll be seeing hundreds of girls who woulda otherwise never twerked start twerking…it’s the power of celebrity used for good.

I thought twerking was done, but I guess it’s just going mainstream and I love that Miley’s mom is on this, I wouldn’t mind watching that Billy Ray Sperm eating Uterus retirement plan get down.

TO SEE MORE PICS OF HER IN THIS OUTFIT LOOKING LIKE A PRISON INMATE I WOULDN’T MIND BEING PRISON RAPED BY
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Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

25

Mar

Clara Alonso is a Good Model of the Day

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Clara Alonso is a Spanish model who did the Victoria’s Secret fashion show in 2008. A Victoria’s Secret immigrant model you’ve never heard of because I guess she didn’t make the cut for their evil empire to become one of the angels, because she probably didn’t pass their insane test, or maybe she was a spy trying to crack the code that is the billion dollar, shitty quality underwear brand….but she has gone on to do lingerie campaigns for other people, and more importantly, this shoot for GQ Russia, where she’s seducing me like a mail order bride, even though she’s not from Russia…she’s just does their magazines.

Posted in:Clara Alonso