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2013

15

Mar

2 Springbreak Sluts Dancing on Stage to 2 Chains of the Day

Spring Break is here…..it is always fun….I wish I was the old guy participating in this shit like I was 20 because when I was 20 I couldn’t be bothered….but more importantly cuz girls are sluttier now…..

I am assuming this was shot in Florida where the biggest thing in Hip Hop brought a couple hookers on stage to get the crowd gone wild…and if you’ve seen any Spring Break footage or if you’ve had spring break events of your own…you’ll know that along with all the new cases of herpes and unwanted pregnancy…comes a lot of drunk, slutty, 21 year old girls…and this shit is what fuels them….and I love it.

Posted in:Springbreak

2013

15

Mar

Heidi Klum VS a Burger of the Day

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Heidi Klum is eating a Hamburger…for Carl’s Jr….and it looks like it is going to be a highly erotic experience….partially cuz despite being old and having a battered vagina from dozens of kids and a husband with a cock the size of a child’s forearm….she’s still Heidi Klum…no matter how fucking tired her face is….but also because she’s got awesome tits….but most importanlty…cuz I like watching chicks eat disgusting foods when they aren’t fat…probably as a trade off for being disgusted by fat chicks who eat anything…even celery sticks….cuz food can be erotic…just not when she’s missing toes from Diabetes….

Posted in:Heidi Klum

2013

15

Mar

Miranda Kerr is Not Naked Enough for Vogue Australia of the Day

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Miranda Kerr, like all hookers, is peddling some bullshit, that she probably gets a percentage of sales on, because why the fuck not use you celebrity like you were Diddy and branch out in everything to push the 100,000,000 dollar mark….cuz getting paid 10 million a year to just pose for Victoria’s Secret, isn’t challenging enough, and when you’re a model the window is only so big…that you gotta plan for a retirement…and who the fuck cares…it involves her posting pics of herself in the shower in a bikini like we are in High School….at a party…where the girls aren’t quite ready to throw down…but are interested in the concept of showering with you…at least that’s how it played out for me….but now, if a shower opportunity arrises amongst friends…I don’t do this PG shit…I demand nudity…the way showers are meant to be had…

I also thew in some Vogue Australia pics cuz she’s lovely to look at….

Posted in:Miranda Kerr

2013

15

Mar

Helen Hunt Ass in Leggings of the Day

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I recently had to take down video of Helen Hunt in a nude scene….because her legal team and the legal team behind the movie she was naked in didn’t like me sharing her amazingness with the world….but despite complying with the law because I can’t afford a lawsuit over Helen Hunt nudes…I’ve taken a snapshot with my mind that gets triggered every time I hear her name,,,,or see her 50 plus year old ass in leggings….it’s like seeing red before an episode of rage only with more saggy and amazing tit and old lady greying pubes….making her pretty fucking perfect….at least for a 50 plus…which is something I always avoid….especially when it involves my obese wife….sure this would be better if this was 15 years ago…but I’ll take it….I always take anything I can get….

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Posted in:Helen Hunt

2013

15

Mar

Caroline Corinth for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

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I impress myself sometimes….mainly with how many posts I do on Victoria’s Secret models….and my ability to write

I didn’t say this was life changing, or inspired…like my facebook statuses…but I’m just impressed that I manage to pull posts together…when all these half naked shots for the evil empire look the fucking same…

Her name is Caroline Corinth and she’s amazing….new for Victoria’s Secret, doesn’t even have a wikipedia page….probably made in their lab…or kidnapped from the third world the way they like…that would explain how perfect she is….wow..

Posted in:Caroline Corinth

2013

15

Mar

Iggy Azalea Lap Dance in her Work Video of the Day

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It’s too bad Iggy Azalea blocked me on twitter…after watching her lap dance 2 minutes into this song…I think we could have really built a solid friendship….

I doubt she was a stripper…she’s Australian and probably from the suburbs, but there’s no story in mall rat freestylin’ while buying lattes with your allowance…especially not when you can move to America and re-invent yourself like a chat room on the internet….but at least she’s trying…

I’m just bummed it’ll never be in my face, mouth, dick, or fingers….cuz this girl is the kind of girl I’d throw a dollar at….maybe even a stack of dollars….

Posted in:stepMUSIC

2013

15

Mar

Human Statue Gets Even of the Day

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If you’ve been on the internet today, you’ve probably seen this video of a Human Statue getting even on a heckler, who is going out of his way to annoy and test his Human Statue abilities…without realizing that anyone doing Human Statue performances is already at rock bottom, they’ve pretty much given the fuck up on life, cuz no one wants to paint themselves grey everyday to stand around and beg for change for their alcoholism…I mean we are talking the bottom of the barrel….barely a human in society…with nothing to live for….probably with a seeded past….and huge criminal record…making me think dude’s pretty lucky he wasn’t shanked…or dude didn’t try to eat his face off…

I would side with the Human Statue…because let’s face it the heckler is a fucking asshole…but without an address….he barely registers as human to me….just a thug motherfucker….who doesn’t realize his job is to get harassed by people…that’s what he’s paid the big bucks for…when he signed up to this shit instead of getting are a real job….asshole…

Posted in:Videos

2013

15

Mar

Katie Holmes Lookin’ Hot for H.Stern “Iris” Campaign of the Day

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Katie Holmes has got off the space ship and back to the beach….where her pushing 40 year old body….is strategically placed….to hide the scars of the birth of her Alien child….allowing us to focus on her soul-less face….and dead eyes…that we can blame Tom Cruise for stealing…and ultimately, I really like this look….it’s for some Fashion ad campaign…and it is good…

Posted in:Katie Holmes

2013

15

Mar

Jodie Marsh Posts Pics of Fun Underwear on Instagram of the Day

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If you’re wondering if there’s a life after Glamour Modeling…..just turn to Jodie Marsh and you will see that so much changes when you pull out of that topless for lad mag world….that you’ve just grown out of…and feel like giving the young blood the opportunity to takeover…..it leaves you dying for attention…and posting your “favorite” underwear…that might as well not even be underwear….but rather spread lip…on instagram….and it’s fucking amazing…

Posted in:Jodie Marsh

2013

15

Mar

Penelope Cruz in her Bikini of the Day

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I used to bang a girl who thought she looked like Penelope Cruz because they both had massive noses….the only difference was that she wasn’t Penelope Cruz and just had a big nose…..meaning two things…the first – that Penelope Cruz rocks a big nose, something we all hate better than any girl…..I mean so good she’s even hotter than girls with normal sized noses……the second…that she makes other big nosed girls thing they shouldn’t get a nose job even when they should….

Here she is on the beach, pregnant with Javier’s baby, looking better than most pregnant chicks…because I guess Penelope Cruz is one of those girls who could make herpes scabs look awesome…cuz let’s face it…pregnancy is the worst STD around….

Here’s the video:

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Posted in:Penelope Cruz