I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2013

08

Mar

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day


Today’s stepGIRL is @MMEDUSAAA ….and I let her think she’s in the driver seat of our internet love affair…..

I hate when pranks backfire. I was trying to get up on the Youtube prank craze, but I’m not much of a planner….so I usually execute these schemes when drunk, without a camera, and I never achieve the youtube fame I think I am destined to achieve at the time of producing the prank.

Last night, I decided to do the laxative in my wife’s food prank…think her having explosive shits for the next 12 hours was punishment she deserved for ruining my life and trapping me….here’s where the poor planning comes in…..

You see my wife is pushing 300 pounds…she has mobility issues and with mobility issues comes wiping her ass issues…making her a fucking stinky bitch to sleep next to…unless I take initiative for her asshole and wash it down for her…like a farmer washes down his hogs…

Meaning, my prank was awesome at first…but went south…pretty fucking fast….meaning my night was spent wiping ass…and not pretty ass either…the kind of ass that makes you homo….that I was responsible for making explosively shit….

#epicfail…

Here are some morning links…..

The 30 Sexiest GIFS of Mila Kunis
GO

Jennifer Nicole Lee Showering in a Bikini
GO

Girl Atomic Wedgies Herself – Amazing
GO

Some Bitch You’ll Want to Get to Know
GO

Two Girls on Bike
GO

The Very Rare Quadruple Kick
GO

The Science Aging
GO

Puffy Nipple Teen Plays With her Dildo
GO

Exploding Basketball!
GO

You Will Want to Fuck Allison Williams
GO

Jessica Jane Clement in a Bikini!
GO

Beiber Almost Died,…But Didn’t…UNfortunately.
GO

Star Your Day Jerking Off to Cam Girls….for Free
GO

Slow Motion Lingerie…Awesome
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2013

07

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

I am tempted to find a spoken word gathering of lesbians tonight…ideally in a pot luck setting at someone’s loft…that I can crash….equipped with a can of baked beans as my contribution to the potluck…because I can be communal too..and I know lesbians love beans….almost as much as they love wool….all cuz I like making friends…while mocking them…but I think I’ll probably just go to a gutter strip club instead.

Here are some of the stepLINKS….

Jennifer Nicole Lee Showering in a Bikini
GO

Chris Brown VS Valet Video is Funny….Hope He Takes Out his Fury on Rihanna’s Face
GO

Here’s Some Electricty Gone Nuts
GO

Hangover 3 Trailer
GO

Jordan Carver Has Huge Tits
GO

Nina Agdal Modeling Bikinis – The Video
GO

Proposal Ruined By a Wave – Amazing…
GO

Sarah Hyland is really interesting to me…not because I watch Modern Family…but because she looks 10.
GO

11 Awesome Photobombs!
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25 Reasons Why Fedoras are the Fucking Worst
GO

Lisa Rinna’s Funny Face / Awesome Pokies
GO

Lesbian Road Head…..
GO

Talking Through People Prank..Funny
GO

Lindsay Lohan Eating Is Amazing…..
GO

Hot Fucking Maria Sharapova Tennis Hotness
GO

Jessica Chastain is Playing Jane in the New Tarzan Movie that Reminds Us Hollywood is Out of Ideas
GO

Best Female Drummer
GO

Auction to take a Sex Dolls Virginity
GO

Rachel Weisz May Be the Next Bond Girl
GO

Seal Screams Like a Man
GO

I’d Fuck Maria Menounos Greek Like the Greek She Is
GO

Here is Another Elevator Prank
GO

Balance Beam Nut Shot
GO

Demi Moore Throwback Bikini Pics
GO

Dita Von Teese Cleavage
GO

I avoided Posting KIm Getting Her Titty Grabbed By Kanye – But I’ll Link It…
GO

Matt Damon Talks About Doing Michael Douglas Up the Ass
GO

Sarah Silverman in Some Pantyhose
GO

Beyonce Attempts To Keep It Real. FAIL!
GO

These Cameron Diaz Drew Barrymore Bikini Pics Scare Me
GO

The 20 Hottest Photos of Seren Gibson
GO

Taylor Swift Just Made 1 Million Dollars
GO

The Making of Bohemian Rhapsody
GO

Rachel Weisz Esquire Tits
GO

Throwback Rihanna in a Bikini Pics
GO

Hot Babes Cleaning the House Naked
GO

The Nude Rihanna Pics that Got Her in Trouble with Her Momma
GO

Dancing with the Stars Promo Shoots
GO

Chelsea Handler Thinks Taylor Swift is a Virgin….A concept Chelsea Handler vaguely remembers…since her vagina opened for business a LONG time ago
GO

With A Face Like That, Bitch Better Have A Body Like This…
GO

Emily DiDonato is Dating Jake Gyllenhaal – What a Fail
GO

Howard Stern Might Be on TV
GO

Jessica Simpson’s Giant Pregnant Cleavage
GO

Epic Fire Prank
GO

Alessandra Ambrosio On a Bike in Short Shorts…..
GO

Lesbian Sex in the Sauna
GO

Meme Mash-Up
GO

Her Name is Hanna – and She’s a Fucking Babe….All Shot Artistically and Nude!!
GO

I Fuck Your Wife
GO

I Like the Ela Savanas Big Topless Video VIdeo
GO

Chelsea Handler Hates Angelina Jolie…..
GO

Emma Watson for Some Russian Mag….
GO

Baby and Pug in a Sneeze War!
GO

Too Bad the Kim Kardashian Miscarriage Scare wasn’t a Reality / Abortion – cuz You Know She’s just DOing this Baby THing for Money – Right
GO

Fart Lighting Goes Very Wrong…Hilarious….
GO

Rubik’s Cube World Record
GO

Allison Williams Cleavage
GO

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From stepSMUT!! NSFW!
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Awesome Amateur Hairy Pussy
GO

Teen Films Herself Rubbing it Out
GO

Electro Wife
GO

Busty Japanese Kidnapping Fetish
GO

Amateur Girls Gets Anal….While Sucking Dick
GO

Arab Sex in the Bathroom
GO

Chubby Girl Shaved and Fucked by the Pool
GO

Outdoor Bench Masturbation
GO

AWESOME AMATEUR WEBCAM SEX!
GO

I Make Girls Use Vibes On Themselves Always….These are the Best Out There…
GO

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stepSHIRT INTO Future
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2013

07

Mar

Jenna Dewan Intensely Kisses Her Trashy Mom of the Day

This almost feels weird to stare at…

I mean I guess Texan trash…even with all that Texan money has the ability to look like it just fell out of an 80s movie…with teased hair and a bad dye job…filled with corn casserole…that may be served in a mansion but where the recipe was developed back in the trailer park she grew up in…

I’d say this intense kiss is just how the family does it…making me think a paternity test is in order…cuz just cuz she says it is Channing Tatum’s doesn’t mean it is….for all we know the real daddy could be her daddy…cuz if a non lesbian pregnant woman like this gets down to momma…I just can’t imagine how a cock hungry….proven by her uterus…girl gets down with daddy….

The weirdest thing in all this is just how much it is turnin’ me on….

It’s ok to love your momma…just as long as you document it for me to masturabte to it….I grew up on 70s porn…incest was kind of a recurring theme…

Posted in:Jenna Dewan

2013

07

Mar

Miley Cyrus’ New Boyfriend of the Day

Recent gossip has been saying Miley’s boyfriend or fiance…which in and of itself was a fucking joke in the first place….has cheated on her…with first January Jones…and now Emma Watson….because I guess he’s into skinny girls who look like 14 year old boys….because it is less illegal that having sex with 14 year old boys….

Well, Miley was supposed to delete her twitter, has instead made statements like “I will only talk about my music”…cuz it’s al about the music man….cuz I guess she’s getting attacked by her fans and followers…or maybe…she’s just broken on the inside…cuz your boyfriend cheating you can cause distress and stupid behavior like writing shit about it on twitter…which will make her look like a bigger idiot than she is..

Now she’s posting pics of her with her new BF…a fat black kid who’s shirt is covered with cocaine….cuz sometimes…especially these sad times…when your joke of an engagement is in trouble…coke covered fat guys is the only answer…..at least that’s what I tell every sad girl I try to bone…sadness is the prime time for bad decision making.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

07

Mar

Sofia Vergara’s Guns for Machete Kills of the Day

Sofia Vergara got herself some more acting work…because despite being 60 fucking years old….she’s still in high demand….for reasons I can only assume involve being from a Colombian drug cartel that feeds the execs in Hollywood….so that they have no choice but to hire her otherwise she will expose them….I mean that or it’s cuz she’s got ridiculous titties…and the movie maker’s know 50 percent of America are hispanic…and in being Hispanic need hispanic characters to relate to….so they might as well cast the best one…even if she’s better suited to be stripping like most single mom immigrants….

Well the acting work in the new Robert Rodriguez movie, Machete Kills….also staring Mel Gibson, Vanessa Hudgens, Jessica Alba, Charlie Sheen, Amber Heard, Alexa Vega, Lady Gaga….but none of the others made the first movie poster…cuz they don’t have tits they can sensationalize with guns…like he did to Rose McGowan’s leg in that Grindhouse shit…

Either way, here’s the poster, I hope it speaks to your inner nerd, which in your case is also your outter nerd…you’re just lucky nerd is still trendy and doesn’t result in getting beat the fuck up….

Guns for tits…on a girl known for her tits…so fucking clever/comedic/obvious/who cares…oh right, you do.

Posted in:Sofia Vergara

2013

07

Mar

Kelly Osbourne Just had a Seizure of the Day

photo via TMZ

Apparently, Kelly Osbourne was filming a show called Fashion Police, with Melissa Rivers for E!, complained about not feeling well and fell to the floor shaking…someone in the audience…who was either a doctor or a pervert pretending to be a doctor knowing this was probably his one chance to mouth to mouth her….helped….she came to…but they send her to the hospital anyway…cuz seizures aren’t normal…

I like to think it all started when she looked at herself in the mirror…

I would blame anorexia…but I don’t blame anorexia for anything…anorexia is the source of great things…like bikini bodies….

I do however blame her genetics…the sperm that made her was so contaminated….and made her this obese thing…along with her brother who has MS….

Is Kelly Osbourne death near?! Only time will tell.

Posted in:Kelly Osbourne

2013

07

Mar

Jessica Davies is a Better Glamour Model of the DAy

Hey Jessica Davies…..you’re some lovliness I’ve never heard of….and you need a lot more fans…because that loveliness needs to be spread around the world….and not just around the random men you’ve spread it on in your quest to get these big titties off a stripper pole and into the magazines….

She’ only has 10,000 twitter followers…which seems like fucking robbery considering she exposes herself on the internet, in magazines, and is busty as fuck, even if she looks a little cheap…

We like cheap…it’s a fucking recession….

So after you take in these big titties that luckily didn’t choose self respect, education, or a career….but instead chose “Show me tits, get me shillings”….like a good girl.

Those tits…I mean…seriously…Next level massive…and natural…what….?~!?

Posted in:Jessica Davies|NSFW

2013

07

Mar

Nina Agdal Modeling Bikinis Video of the Day

Nina Agdal is the SI Covergirl that was supposed to be…before the people at SI remembered that Kate Upton sells issues…cuz perverts everywhere love that she’s 19…and has masssive tits…not to mention in these hard times in America…it’s important to show some homeland pride…rather than some immigrant shit…even if it’s got 20 pounds of extra beef on its bones…if anything that will remind their readers just how prosperous they are…like the old times….bitch is a rail road tycoon…all well fed and never gone hungry…only unlike a Rail road tycoon…her meat’s from McDonalds…..but why am I talking about Kate Upton, when looking at Nina Agdal…I guess it’s just something this second string talent has to get used to….even if her body is substantially more deserving of a celebration…..

MORE VIRAL VIDEOS AT VIDHUNTR

Posted in:Nina Agdal

2013

07

Mar

Nicki Minaj Titties Twerk in a New French Montana Tune of the Day

Little known fact…I love Dancehall music and watching girls twerk to the shit….it’s all Caribbean and amazing….as they shake their asses and slap their asses…so I appreciate Nicki Minaj re-inventing herself to have a little more street cred…tapping into her Islander roots….leaving the whole bullshit pop shit behind cuz she’s already made it….leaving room to be topless with pasties….and the ability to say “NICCA NICCA NICCA” …without the world shitting on her…but most importantly…it allows her to tap into her Dancehall dance classes she took to learn how to act on stage…cuz this girl’s so far removed from the islands…almost whiter than the KKK…it’s all a bullshit front…trust nothing she does…she’s straight from acting school…fact.

Posted in:Nicki Minaj|stepMUSIC

2013

07

Mar

Jennette McCurdy Twitter Bikini of the Day

Jennette McCurdy is my internet girlfriend…I try to sext her on twitter sometimes…she always ignores me…but I think she’s just playing hard to get…and I like her thinking she’s in the driver’s seat…cuz the driver’s seat is usually my favorite place to make love….at least with street hookers…because I can’t afford a hotel room and my wife frowns upon me bringing them home with me….

She’s a country pop star…she’s on Nickelodeon tv shows….she’s a recipe for disaster at the tender age of 20….you know one of those falling off hard when people forget she exists…but for now she’s lovely and posing in her bikini for the internet…which I think makes her perfect….or at least on the right track…

Posted in:Jennette McCurdy