DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

15

Mar

Penelope Cruz in her Bikini of the Day

I used to bang a girl who thought she looked like Penelope Cruz because they both had massive noses….the only difference was that she wasn’t Penelope Cruz and just had a big nose…..meaning two things…the first – that Penelope Cruz rocks a big nose, something we all hate better than any girl…..I mean so good she’s even hotter than girls with normal sized noses……the second…that she makes other big nosed girls thing they shouldn’t get a nose job even when they should….

Here she is on the beach, pregnant with Javier’s baby, looking better than most pregnant chicks…because I guess Penelope Cruz is one of those girls who could make herpes scabs look awesome…cuz let’s face it…pregnancy is the worst STD around….

Here’s the video:

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Penelope Cruz

2013

15

Mar

Amy Hood for Jonathan Leder Topless for his Movie of the Day

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My man Jonathan Leder, a photographer I think I’ve spoken to at least once, while trying to seduce his models on Instagram, girls who are amazing, and who pull off this vintage erotica thing for him really well….one who has gone onto do Playboy and another who calls me out everytime we cross internet paths….and now this one, Amy Hood, who I’ve never heard of, but who is the main star of his movie…that you can see the trailer of below….

The guy is fucking talent, he’s going places, and he’s bringing hotness I am into…making it a no brainer for me to support, promote and try to hang out with him for the chance to produce his movies and hold his models’ hands….

Here are the pics…The only flaw in all this is that she doesn’t have bush…

Posted in:Amy Hood|NSFW

2013

15

Mar

Emily Ratajkowski Awesome as Always of the Day

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Emily Ratajkowski is pretty much perfect. I’ve been writing her love poems and love songs every day since I first met one of her topless pics…something I’ve been tracking since pretty much day one….and I haven’t got her mailing address or her phone number to really solidify this love affair…but with all soul mates, we are just connected, and don’t need modern things like communication to know it is real love….we just need pics of her amazing tits….it’s less work this way and avoids all other issues with soul mates, like marriage, kids and hatred / resentment for each other…

No idea what these pics are for…but I’m glad they happened…

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski

2013

15

Mar

Megan Fox Struggling of the Day

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Hey Megan Fox….remember when you were starring in big movies and getting paid millions of dollars….because everyone wanted to fuck you…before it built up your ego, made you a cunt on set, got you blacklisted and forced you to marry and get knocked up by David from 90210 because you really wanted to secure your demise…you know if you’re crashing you might as well fly the fucking plane into something that makes the most impact….to make sure there is not chance of survival…

Well, it’s nice to see you making a comeback…starting at the fucking bottom, doing a beer campaign for Brazil…like you weren’t Megan Fox at all…but maybe a youtube star or a girl with a lot of Myspace fans…I mean seriously…this is bad…

Posted in:Megan Fox

2013

15

Mar

Selena Gomez Harper’s Outtakes by Terry Richardson of the Day

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Last night was the premiere of the Spring Breakers and I wasn’t invited….but I don’t care about premieres…that shit is too exclusive and high end for me…I prefer to keep shit gutter and watch the movie on VHS when it comes out…..

In celebration of the movie, or the premiere, Terry Richardson decided to release some pics of her from their Harper’s Bazaar shoot I posted last week, probably before every blog, cuz I’m awesome like that….

The pics may not be Typical Terry Richardson Smut…but it’s for mainstream media people, he can’t have her laying golden eggs from her vagina and shit….even if she’s a known sex offender thanks to Bieber….

But she’s looking pretty awesome to me…all hipster and in need to be validated…cuz no hipster likes knowing they were Disney stars…it fucks with their street cred…and that’s why she’s trying so hard….and I’m glad she is…

Posted in:Selena Gomez

2013

15

Mar

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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The problem with homeless chicks is that they have trust issues. Even the young ones. I was trying to get a couple street girls, who were hot enough and didn’t seem overly damaged, even though I know they are….home with me last night for a nice shower and some food and they all thought I was a predator, out for free sex, like they’ve been raped or molested or broken before. Maybe that bad attitude is why they are on the street in the first place. I guess you can’t save or be a hero to those who don’t want to be saved…..

Here are some links….

Katherine McPhee is Hot for WOmen’s Health
CLICK HERE

That Ditch Pig Lena Dunham Who Has No Business Being On TV has Now Done Playboy In What Must Be a Prank or a Make a Wish Foundation Sympathy Wish cuz She’s a Fucking Monster and Shouldn’t be Celebrated No Matter How Connected Her Family Is…
CLICK HERE

Danielle Lloydd Rockin’ Out in a Bikini
CLICK HERE

Cat Fetches Like a Dog
CLICK HERE

24 Pics of Fucking Idiots
CLICK HERE

Justin Timberlake’s Most Hip Hop Moments
CLICK HERE

The Most Beautiful Women of All Time (50 pics)
CLICK HERE

Racist Attack on the Bus
CLICK HERE

Funniest Reactions to the New Pope
CLICK HERE

Funny Animal Gifs
CLICK HERE

Cool Fucking Sea Lion
CLICK HERE

Old School Computer Covers Skrillex
CLICK HERE

The Avengers – Power Rangers Edition
CLICK HERE

I Like Watching this Girl Work Her Wand (NSFW)
CLICK HERE

Girl in the Popcorn Machine is Porn to Me
CLICK HERE

Stop Your Hairloss…..
CLICK HERE

Posted in:stepLINKS

2013

15

Mar

Late Night Booty Call of the Day

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I am drunk…it is 5 in the morning…I tried to pay a homeless guy 5 dollars to throw a pie in Arianny Celestes face…but we couldn’t find her….so I just let him eat the pie…I am a hero….tell your friends…

Posted in:NSFW

2013

14

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

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It may be steak and blowjob day for some of you with wives who take part in stupid activities in hopes of bringing fun and joy to their miserable lives…but for me…it is eat creamed corn and/or beans and toast, jerk off my flaccid dick, drink rubbing alcohol and try to fuck a fat college chick on spring break who is wasted, only to come home to my obese apnea wife choking on her shitty fat neck but not choking well enough, leading me to try masturbating my flaccid dick until passing out day…..

Here are some links….

Kris Jenner Sex Tape Exists – Because It’s Good For Ratings – Obviously – Not That It is Shocking That She’s a Hooker.
CLICK HERE

Nicole Scherzinger’s Crotch Flash
CLICK HERE

How Lazy People Shovel Snow
CLICK HERE

Katy Perry Signs a 2 Million Dollar Book Deal…Damn
CLICK HERE

45 Pics of Hot Babes in their Towels
CLICK HERE

Paula Labaredas Booty Queen Posing….half Naked….
CLICK HERE

Her Name is Dusica Jovicic and I Love Her
CLICK HERE

25 Things You Didn’t Know About Spring Breakers
CLICK HERE

The 20 Hottest Girls Dressed in Green
CLICK HERE

Amanda Marie is a Tanned Tease
CLICK HERE

Hawk Snatches a Kids’ Mouse
CLICK HERE

Sluts Gone Wild at McDonalds
CLICK HERE

More Taylor Swift in Concert
CLICK HERE

Alessandra Ambrosio and Candice Swanepoel Together at Last
CLICK HERE

Paulina Gretzky Ass in a Bikini Bottom
CLICK HERE

Nicole Scherzinger See Through Thong Ass
CLICK HERE

Vanessa Hudgens Teaches Ashley Benson How To Give A Blow Job!
CLICK HERE

Flashback of Mila Kunis at 18
CLICK HERE

Lauren Bedford in Lingerie
CLICK HERE

25 HOT Instagram Photos of South Padre Spring Break 2013
CLICK HERE

Jumping in the Puddle Video is My Favorite
CLICK HERE

Mail Order Brides That Will Make You Rethink (31 pics)
CLICK HERE

Dita Von Teese Nipples!
CLICK HERE

Weatherman Wishes “Huge Anus” a Happy Birthday
CLICK HERE

Hannah Simone is a Babe
CLICK HERE

A True Gentleman Arrives at The People’s Court
CLICK HERE

Amanda Bynes is Funnny
CLICK HERE

10 Things You Didn’t See on American Idol
CLICK HERE

Kick Ass 2 Red Band Trailer
CLICK HERE

Kelly Brook Showing Some Bra – For a Titty Model – That’s Some Weak Sauce
CLICK HERE

Jennifer Love Hewitt Showin Off Titty
CLICK HERE

Kim Kardashian gets Her Toe Stepped On
CLICK HERE

Taekwondo Spiderman for the Virgins
CLICK HERE

Hot Babes Doing Naked Stuff –
CLICK HERE

Miranda Kerr Has a Sore Neck
CLICK HERE

Celebs in Their Element
CLICK HERE

Here are Some Pics of Tamara Eccleston – Billionaire Heiress in a Bikini
CLICK HERE

Britney’s New Boyfriend
CLICK HERE

Justin Timberlake Gets a Fucking TV SPecial Like this was the 60s…..
CLICK HERE

White Men Can Dance
CLICK HERE

Louis CK Silences Heckler
CLICK HERE

Stop Thinning Hair So Girls Have Sex With You
CLICK HERE

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From stepSMUT!! NSFW!
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Tall Girl Gets Fucked by
CLICK HERE

Hot Girl Masturbates on a Crowded Plane
CLICK HERE

Fucked in the Lemonade Stand
CLICK HERE

Juicy Vagina
CLICK HERE

Amateur Blowjob
CLICK HERE

Clothed Handjob
CLICK HERE

French Nudis Masturbating on the Beach
CLICK HERE

See More CAm Girls in Action – 24/7 – All Free !!
CLICK HERE

I Make Girls Use Vibes On Themselves Always….These are the Best Out There…
CLICK HERE

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stepSHIRT INTO Future
CLICK HERE

Thinning Hair Can Be Reversed And Girls Will Love You For IT
CLICK HERE

Posted in:stepLINKS

2013

14

Mar

The Simulated Blowjob Pic is the Best Pic from The Spring Breakers of the Day

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Spring Breakers are on the takeover….Young starlets trying to re-invent their Disney Images…working with Harmony Korine a dude who has been playing up being a weird pervert over the last 15 years….in a movie where they are all in bikinis

But I’m more interested in their off camera antics…especially when it is doing one of my favorite things in pictures….and that’s simulating blowjobs with frozen food or really any phallus like little sluts…who have a checkered past that involves producing kiddie porn and rockin’ awesome bush in some selfies for her “boyfriend”….

You know cuz they are at an age where they suck dick, but still can get away with joking around about sucking dick, by simulating sucking dick, to get a laugh…from all in the room….and a boner from all the dudes in the room….cuz the whole thing is hot as fuck…especially when in bikini…I mean shit…this is perfect.

TO SEE THE HOT PIC FROM OTHER ANGLES
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Uncategorized

2013

14

Mar

Luisana Lopilato Big Tittiesin Miami of the Day

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Luisana Lopilato is Michael Buble’s pregnant 25 year old groupie wife from Argentina..

She was a slut from one of his music videos who has now secured a solid retirement plan via her uterus…living the good life…thanks to being hot and his want for a hot girl…… and her want for someone rich and famous…

It will open doors for her…and give her security…while giving him a “normal” life…with young tight immigrant vagina…..he can pretend isn’t into him for his fame and fortune….when we all know if he wasn’t Buble….she wouldn’t even notice him in a room….

But he is Buble…and being Buble means filtering though all the pussy thrown his way…and deciding which one is the least obvious about her intentions and who comes with the best tits….and this is the prize fucking hen…

Earlier reports came out that they were having a baby boy…..and she posted this KEEK…..

Mar 14, 2013 |

But I think the above pic is really the story we’re into…..she’s not pregnant enough to be disgusting….

To See the Pics
Follow the Link

Posted in:Luisana Lopilato