I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2011

04

Feb

Cindy Crawford and Niki Taylor for FutureClaw of the Day

I’ve never heard of this magazine FutureClaw, but have decided they are my new best friend, not because they wished me a happy birthday or invited me to their fashion parties, but because they recruited old retired model and got them posing like it was 1992, a year I was a much simpler person, less desensitized and able to get an erection in the stripclub…an era before the internet, throatfucking porn, 2 girls 1 cup and all the other celebrity sex tape bullshit I’ve been exposed to, and I guess Cindy Crawford reminds me of that simpler time…when jerking off to a pic of a girl in a bra was ok…

I also saw her in person recently, and she’s fucking amazing…all tall and totally gave me sex eyes as her security pushed me out of the way so she could get in her hotel room.

I figure having a best friend at a fashion magazine is one step closer to getting that private jet I’ve always wanted, but more importantly, maybe they’ll invite me on site when they get a little more fashion in their shoots by showing model tit…

Either way, pantsless Cindy Crawford is a winner…Enjoy…

Here’s Niki Taylor – A lot less sexy – But Still a Retired Model from the 90s making a comeback for old times…I figure I might as well give her some airtime so she doesn’t develop an eating disorder and try to kill herself at the Botox clinic…

Posted in:Cindy Crawford|Niki Taylor

2011

04

Feb

White People Having Fun on a Motorcycle Fun with Wheelchairs of the Day

I don’t know when this video is from, but there’s just something amazing about white trash lower class families on dirt bikes running over old lazy bitches in wheel chairs….I don’t know what it is that I like about this, but I think it has to do with the fat kid humping the mom when she’s bent over…cuz that’s just how white trash operates…and the whole thing made me proud to not be white…cuz seriously..if this was my people…I’d be legitimately concerned…especailly since 98 percent of America is like this…We’re fucking doomed. Amazing.

Someone needs to remix this and call it Mom-Motorcycle-Wheelchair-Hump….It’ll be a drunken inbred backyard wrestling match classic halftime show.

Posted in:Handicap|White Trash

2011

04

Feb

Jennifer Tilly’s Fat Tits of the Day

Here is some Jennifer Tilly cuz I appreciated her strategy to play down her fatness by playing up her fat tits…

I’m not the kind of guy who goes nuts over tits, when they are associate with a thick fucking body, cuz I figure if a bitch eats enough pie, she’ll get fat tits, too….It’s about as impressive as when a girl gets fake tits…cuz shit’s artificial…not to mention fat tits alway hang shitty, look shitty and usually smell shitty cuz their fat arms can’t reach their assholes to clean them properly…I only like big tits on small frames…

But you’re American and as an American you probably think this hag is skinny….

I’m really only posting this cuz I thought this was Jennifer Connelly, who’s tits I actually do like at least better than I like this…Oh well…Next time I’ll try to get my names right.

Posted in:Jennifer Tilly

2011

04

Feb

Kate Walsh Has Cleavage of the Day

Who the fuck is Kate Walsh and why the fuck am I putting up pictures of her cleavage like it fucking matters. It is shit like this that makes me wonder what the fuck is wrong with me. I mean I don’t give a fuck about this trash and I am sure you don’t either…I mean seriously, is she a sex symbol? I guess everyone’s a sex symbol, since I want to fuck everyone, including you, but I get angry at myself when I do posts like this…Real angry…cuz they just don’t make sense to me.

Posted in:Kate Walsh

2011

04

Feb

Tila Tequila’s Sex Tape Continues of the Day

Tila Tequila has a Sex Tape ….I wrote about it last week mocking her, but you gotta give a bitch like this credit….She was a nobody, but getting fake tits and hustling on Playboy cybergirls and myspace made her enough of a somebody to get her own TV show…Sure the whole thing was good timing with the internet going mainstream and mainstream media signing up with anything that was getting hits…without realizing they were just low level bottom feeders…but now they are low level bottom feeders lots of people know and don’t care about…She’s got shitty plastic surgery scars and this isn’t a real sex tape….it’s just porn…and that may make me hate her more, but I couldn’t be bothered…

Now her life has been a series of sex tapes, publicity stunts and all that obvious shit, but you know it kinda worked for her, cuz based on her look, I’d expect her giving hand jobs in back alley Viet massage parlors…

Also, I did some research and it turns out that she’s not the Vietnamese girl running on fire from the Vietnam war all growed up, despite what her vagina may tell you…

Now, I’m gonna say you should get the DVD, cuz I figure all sex tapes are worth watching, even if the cunt in the video is annoying and makes you want to punch her in the face, and even if the shit is lesbian porn, while lesbian porn is only good for chicks who feel naughty getting off to two girls while not being distracted by huge cock, cuz every girl I know jerks off to lesbian shit…no guys I know do.

Either way, watch clip, get the movie, show me your tits, I don’t give a fuck…we’ve been watching her demis for a while and I figure this just ads to the experience….even though only 500 people watched her strip on webcam last year….which was totally shocking to me and makes me wonder why she didn’t kill herself…but I guess it was cuz she knew she had these tricks in the bag…good hustle…dumb bitch.


To Get Your Hands on the Sex Tape in Full – Follow this Link….
GO

Posted in:Tila Tequila

2011

04

Feb

Cute Kitty Dancing Around the City of the Day

Here’s a really cute kitty dancing around the city…

Enjoy….

Posted in:Dancing

2011

03

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

I found out that Facebook has a group called Drunkenstepfather.com is Disgusting that I started months ago but never bothered with cuz I didn’t really grasp the shit…But now I’ve decided I want you to join cuz it’s better than BULLSHIT FACEBOOK PAGES no one goes to or LIKES…so JOIN MY GROUP

That said…some weirdo wrote me a novel from an account he created specifically to write this to me and I figure that effort should not go unnoticed…cuz I am really not important enough to do that for….

Here it is:

Here I am, I don’t care what other people think, while promoting something that some people hate, while standing aloof from the context, while riding the attention I get from the content. Drunkenstepfather here I am, I represent the duplicitous nature of man. It’s supposed to be degrading to women, but it turns me on. It’s suppose to wrong, but women seem to do it any way. I’m not suppose to like it, but pretending to like it gets tons of people who don’t watch my site to like that which I pretend to like, while understanding what people like. It’s confusing. I’m not famous, but I am. I’m miserable doing this, but I keep doing it. Nobody watches my site, but I still see things that make me feel people are watching my site.

Give the guy a hand….even though I am sure it’s a girl…It’s always the girls…and if I met her in person…I could easily pay off her anger and fuck the shit out of her…cuz girls are easy…especially when mad…

But girl or not that motherfucker is weird….real weird. Michael Jackson. I would never write that kind of shit to anyone…

Speaking of weirdos, here are my stepLINKS…

Justin Timberlake is Banging Mila Kunis – Who Cares
GO

Real Housewives Disgustingness of the Day – VIDEO
GO

Get
GO

The Top 100 Super Bowl Commercials (With Video)
GO

REAL Girls Getting Naked for Free cuz they are Sluts Are the Best Kind of Girls Getting Naked
GO

Two Hot Mommies Get It On (NSFW)
GO

A Pic of Rihanna’s Ass You’ve Never Seen Before:
GO

Candice Swanepoel Gets Fashionably Topless
GO

Olivia Wilde Does FHM France. Topless (NSFW)
GO

Find the Right Kinda of Slut for You (NSFW)
GO

P Diddy’s Song is Ten Thousand Times Better Than You and Me
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toys Just Aren’t For Kids Anymore (NSFW)
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Maura Tierney’s Breasts Turn 46 Today
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Hilary Duff is Looking Kinda of Hot in Paris
GO

Paula Garces, Lucy Pinder, Kendra Rice, Juliana Imai and Amanda Wenk (NSFW)
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WTf Picture of the Day – Titties Floating in the Water (NSFW)
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Julia Restoin Roitfeld is Braless (NSFW)
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Banned From TV – Family Guy Animal Penis skit
GO

Man I Love Sarah Shahi
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Slutty Pic Dump of the Day
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Midnight Snack Ends in Fat Chicks Fighting – VIDEO
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Hannah and Shay Get It On (NSFW)
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Suelyn Medeiros is Always Worth Taking a Look At
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Bangin Candy – “Sheneka Adams” Behind The Scenes Video Shoot
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Teen Twin Girls Want to Get Naked and Do Crazy Things (NSFW) – VIDEO
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Christine Alexis and Mackenzee Pierce Get Freaky (NSFW)
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Student Atheist Group Offers Porn For Bibles – Amazing
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Julianne Hough wants to Know If You’ve Got Milk
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Mulani Loves Her Finger Tips (NSFW)
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Victoria Secret Valentines Day Video
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Cutey in the Snow
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DAYUMM! Irina Shayk Attends NYLON Party & “Sunset Limited” Screening
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Lynn is Playing With Her Nipples (NSFW) – VIDEO
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Aubrey O’Day Loves Taking Phone Pics Of Herself
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I Love a Good Gymnastics Fail – VIDEO
GO

Striptease of the Day (NSFW)
GO

Cikita is Hot in the Mirror (NSFW)
GO

Sexy Ladies of the Super Bowl
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Get a Load of Nicole
GO

The Recent Rihanna Topless Pics Are Real
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Follow Me On FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Take a breather, here’s some Some Other Awesomeness

Jennifer Aniston Saved Perez Hilton Cuz He’s an Angry Little Fatherless Bitch who Seeks Approval by these Idiots, and when they Notice him – He jumps up and down like the pawn piece of shit freakshow I wish was gay bashed as a child and left in a ditch that he is…remember there’s no cure for aids.
GO

Is This America’s Dumbest Criminal? Quite Possibly, Yes
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Minka Kelly Needs To Be Stripped Searched
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Charlie Sheen Thinks People Care About Him. How Cute
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A Few More Pics Of Miley Cyrus And Her Hard Nips
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The 10 Hottest Funny Women
GO

Ground ZERO: Britney’s Crotch Shot
GO

Lisa Snowdon’s Big Tits Spill Out Of Her Tiny Bikini
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UPDATE: I’m drunk – Watch this VIdeo


dancing pussy in the street –
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2011

03

Feb

Kelly Brook Bikini Pictures of the Day

Kelly Brook in a Bikini is Pretty Alright – especially when the post before her was Cheryl Burke in a Bikini . This was my way to couter-balance the bad and the ugly with the good….see because her fat goes to the right places, so right that she’s managed to make a career off her big natural looking tits on a small frame being in a bikini, so is a professional at being in a bikini, so professional that she managed to maintain the shit going into her 40s cuz she didn’t quite make it until the last 6 months….but stuck to her guns and now we all can masturbate pretending we are stuck to them too…because printers are a beautiful thing in celebrity masturbation fantasies and apparently so is crazy glue.

That’s all I have to say about that.


To See The Rest of the Pics – Follow THis Link
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Posted in:Kelly Brook

2011

03

Feb

Cheryl Burke is Doughy in some Staged Bikini Pics of the Day

Gotta love when attention whores who were clearly fat growing up and are still pretty doughy get a taste of relevance by being a dance instructor on TV. and now they pay paparazzi to take pics of them for the tabloids in some bullshit PR stunt that works…

It stems from her having a job way cooler than the other people she studied dance with who are now back up dancers in some local production…strippers…or girls with broken dreams, a couple kids and an emotional eating disorder…giving her bragging rights at all their reunion shows that she’s the top dog now motherfucker, something I can only assume Black Swan was based on, cuz dance is just so competitive…I mean there’s only so many 5 dollars a song going around bitch needs to work for it…

I’m just posting it cuz she’s in a bikini…I don’t find her anything worth looking at…especially since she’s a pro dancer…I mean give me a dainty bitch would can suck her own toes upside down…not one who sucks her fingers after she scarfs down a pie cuz she’s so hungry after all those calories burned she needs to replenish…

Don’t get me wrong, there’s a place for fat dancers…and I am sure a fat dancer can fuck alright…cuz I’ve fucked professional dancers in my life and it’s a ride worth taking no matter how much her belly hangs over her pants…that place is just not in a bikini on the beach…or in photos on my site…

Why did I do this to myself..

Posted in:Cheryl Burke

2011

03

Feb

Rachel Bilson Lower Leg of the Day

Rachel Bilson was way more interesting when she was boring in a relationship cuz I could blame Star Wars for trapping her in some insanity that is my imagination…It entertained me when she escaped him to go back to LA to focus on her career in some hiking through the Siberian mountains for months to escape Russian communist rule shit…but it turns out she’s just as boring without him…leading me to think he’s not the problem, sure he’s a clown, but clowns are kinda funny if you’re not scared of them cuz one molested you as a child…she’s the problem and a boring bitch can never quite be saved…

Here are her ankles, cuz like a muslim man, sometimes that’s all it takes to get me going and I figure at least one of you is out there like me.

Posted in:Rachel Bilson