I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

08

Jan

Steve Martin and Martin Short Body Surf With a Topless Chick of the Day


Best friends and possible lovers, Steve Martin and Martin Short were vacationing in St Barts where they decided to take a break from fucking each other’s ass like their dicks were colonoscopies and sucking each other’s sagging old age pension testicles like they were a large fleshy vagina, and do a little body surfing with a topless chick.

Raining on their Gay Pride parade was Steve Martin’s younger wife Anne Stringfield, and here she is in a bikini. That’s really all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Martin Short|Steve Martin

2009

08

Jan

The People’s Choice Happened Last Night….of the Day

So the people’s choice awards happened last night and I didn’t watch them mainly because I have a penis, or at least claim to have a penis when I can hide behind my soiled underwear. Sure, I don’t have a TV, but if I did, I wouldn’t pollute my brain with this bullshit, take that People’s Choice Awards. I really stuck it to you in this post didn’t I , you cocksucker.

Here are some pictures of some of the people who were there, not by choice, but because they had to do it for their careers…..if you’re into jerking off to bitches who are all dolled up…

The highlights of the red carpet were:

Jewel’s Fucked Up Cleavage Matches Her Teeth…..

Nikki Cox and her Fucking Weird Lips…..

Annalynne McCord Working the Camera Harder Than She Works Her Girlfriend’s Clit because She’s an Attention Whore…

Here are the rest of the sluts….

Brooke Burke’s Cleavage:

Dakota Fanning’s Dress Fighting with Puberty….

Teri Hatcher and Her Disgusting Everything….

Paris Hilton and Her Annoying Poses….

Queen Latifah and Whoever She’s Hiding In Her Lesbian Dress….

Olivia Wilde, whoever the fuck that is….

Oh and Carrie Underwood was There But I Tried to Ignore Her….

Posted in:People's Choice Awards

2009

08

Jan

Mischa Barton in a Bikini in Goa of the Day

Sloppy Mischa Barton was in Goa for her Christmas vacation. All I know about Goa is that in the 90s, there was a group of hippie ravers in fur pants who used to get high and massage each other listening to Goa trance. Their dreams beyond being at one with the music and dancing in a sweaty disgusting mess into the afternoon, was to go to Goa for these crazy hippie parties on the beach under the moon, well it looks like Mischa Barton is living their dream, while they are being treated for anxiety issues that comes from too much ecstasy use 10 years after the fact….

I pulled this from her blog:

Here are some photos from my Christmas vacation in Goa.  The ocean there was so beautiful and warm I didn’t want to get out.  I would swim all day, ate mostly a vegetarian diet and bought some beautiful things from the vendors I bargained with — jewelry, saris, you name it.

I am pretty sure that this wasn’t written by Mischa Barton, but whoever wrote it is just as fucking boring as her, so I guess that means they are doing a good job. I feel like I am reading a sixth grade summer vacation re-cap assignment, like I do sometimes and I am pretty offended bitch didn’t pay retail for the jewelry, saris you name it. You know she can afford to pay the US dollar to feed the vendor’s family for a fucking week in exchange for their fucking smut they are peddling, but bitch had to jew out and negotiate. That offends me. But surprisingly, she was well received, probably because her ass looks like Sag Paneer .

Too bad she wasn’t in Mumbai a couple weeks ago, if you know what I mean. Here are her photoshop retouched bikini pics she released for attention….Nice head piece, looks like you’re really embracing the culture, you fucking cunt.

Posted in:Bikini|Mischa Barton

2009

08

Jan

Amy Winehouse is the New Nike Spokesperson of the Day

Word on the internet is that Amy Winehouse is the new spokesperson from Nike. I guess they liked that she had an emaciated body of a Kenyan runner and the lung capacity of a 75 year old chain smoker.

Sure, performance drugs are frowned upon in professional sports, but being able to pull crazy stunts, like having a professional music career, or doing cartwheels, while jacked on debilitating drugs, is considered stamina. Don’t believe what people tell you, because she is a fucking athlete, only her sport is getting high and she’s the Gold Medal winner.

I think it’s nice to see that Nike didn’t let her hard work, drive and passion to go above and beyond the average in getting high go unnoticed, but not as nice as her tits. Just do it.

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Nike

2009

08

Jan

Nicky Hilton Buys Toilet Paper of the Day

I have no fucking shame, nothing embarrasses me anymore and I think drinking has something to do with that. When I first started up this whole alcohol abuse thing when I was a teenager, I’d feel like an asshole when I did stupid things like tried to get my friend’s girlfriend’s naked, or touching girls inappropriately, or getting in fights, I’d wake up a self hater who didn’t want to show his fucking face. Then as time went on, I got into bigger messes, made a bigger fool of myself everytime I drank than I did the time before and I’d be tearing people apart, puking, pissing, shitting fucking anything and everything you’d think you’d wake up regretting, and instead I just embraced it. There were times I couldn’t get it up for girls I was about to fuck, or times I came too fast. There were times I probably took advantage of situations and did real evil things and I just figured it was all part of life, you know normal fuck ups.

That said, over all these years there are still two things that humiliate me. The first is walking out of a public bathroom that smells like shit after taking a piss, knowing the next person in line will assume I stank it up because I am fat, so whenever that happens I catch myself justifying myself to a guy I don’t know about how I didn’t take a fucking shit despite what it may look like. The other thing is buying toilet paper. I always feel like the clerk thinks I am groundhogging/ you know ready to fucking dump as I rush to pay her for the shit and for some reason, I feel like a caged animal being watched when I just want privacy.

I have suggested to people I know to invent toilet paper vending machines, I have resorted to stealing toilet paper from public bathrooms even when I have the 3 dollars to buy a pack, I have used old socks, magazines and newspaper on my ass to avoid this shopping experience as best as I fucking can and I find it way more destructive to my self than pulling out my mini dick to fuck a chick only to have her laugh at me….

By the looks of it, Nicky Hilton and her drippy asshole don’t have the same issue as me. Instead of getting her maid to do her dirty work, she proudly parades to the world that she shits, and that she most likely has to shit as she rushes to her car to get home before it end up on her car seat and the whole thing is disgusting to me, but not as disgusting as the possibility that she’s picking this shit up for her sister’s drippy pussy.

Posted in:Nicky Hilton|Toilet Paper

2009

08

Jan

Jessica Alba And Her New Haircut Ignore Everyone Around Her of the Day

Jessica Alba has always pissed me off for various reasons. Whether it was not getting naked in movies when I bought into the hype that she was one of the hottest bitch in Hollywood, or out getting knocked up to trap her boyfriend because she’s a broken little girl who has no friends, or acting like an annoying bitch acts when you’re having a fight with her, where she gives you the silent treatment and pretends your not there like you were 6 and on the fucking playground and no matter what you say, or how hard you try to get her to crack because you still want to fight, she stares blankly past you making you more pissed off so you punch the bitch in the jaw like you were Hayden Panettiere’s dad, and bitch still stares blankly past you, only a single tear runs down her cheek, making you more frustrated so you choke her out and as she gasps for air, she finally cracks, kicks you in the balls and calls the police, where you spend the next 24 hours getting fucked up by cocks for being a wife beater, when really you were just trying to get noticed. Only Alba does that shit to the paparazzi, walking around like they aren’t there and seeing that shit pisses me off, why can’t she just be fucking personable, you know considering her career and fans have done pretty good for her, instead of pulling this cunt behavior. Sure, she probably doesn’t have much of a personality or much to say, but just giving a smile or acknowledging the scum that is around her even if they are just trying to milk what she says for personal gain, would be the nice thing to do.

If I wanted to get her attention and I was a paparazzi, I would have just slandered her, you know say screaming obscenities about her vagina and what I would do to it, something like “Hey Alba, your pussy smells like shit, I think they left the placenta in, and I want to suck it our with a fucking straw, you like that you fucking whore, don’t you” or something that hits close to home like “Don’t ignore me bitch,this the kind of cold shoulder behavior is the reason I have some pictures and video of Cash Warren getting it on with a chick who isn’t you when you were at home with the baby, wanna see?”….not that I’d ever be a paparazzi or trying to get Alba’s attention, I’m just saying…..

Posted in:Jessica Alba|New Hair

2009

08

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

I am feeling pretty under the weather and when it’s a fucking snow storm outside, that’s saying a lot. I tried telling a girl I was talking to that I wanted her to play with my weakened immune system, you know touch that shit inappropriately and make it cum down her throat, turns out that weakened immune systems don’t turn girls on, it makes them think you have AIDS, so do you best to not tell the girl you’re trying to get with that….Other than that, my life’s pretty boring, so that’s why I got you this big list of links…so click em if you’re not out getting drunk and dancing on tables, which I am sure you’re not, because you’re reading this….

Lily Allen Being PRo Cocaine May Explain Why She is So Stupid
GO

WTF Happened to Drew Barrymore?
GO

There’s Another New Whore Shacking Up at the Playboy Mansion
GO

A Walk in Beer Fridge is the Only Fridge I Need
GO

Bam Margera is a Rich Asshole and Here is the Skatepark He Built At His Place
GO

Elle is Nothing But Sexy
GO

They Finally Made an Afro Samurai Game
GO

Big Assed Divas Throwdown to Diva
GO

Anahi Gonzalez Can Clean My House Anytime
GO

Here’s The Video of Josh Brolin Getting Arrested
GO

Jade Jagger Panty Upskirt Throwback
GO

I Can’t Get Enough of Rosario Dawson
GO

Angelina Jolie is Gonna Buy Another Black Kid, But I Guess Thats Alright
GO

Why is Ann Hathaway So Fucking Boring?
GO

The Court Says Britney Still Ain’t Right, And a Crazy Britney is Fine By Me
GO

Let’s Bask in Beyonce Together
GO

Porn, What Is It Good For?
GO

Top 10 Videos of Celebrities Grabbing Their Boobs
GO

A Cow Gives Birth to a Human …..
GO

Dancing With the Nipple Slips
GO

Celebrity Cat Fight!
GO

Skater Takes a But Shot
GO

Charlotte Will Seduce You
GO

Why The Fuck Would You Ruin a Bentley Like That?
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Bulldozer Freestyle
GO

Because We Both Know You’ll Never Get Laid On Your Own
GO

Carmen Electra Makes Wire Hangers Fun
GO

Ski Lift FAIL
GO

Jessica Alba’s Mom is Going to Eat Cash Warren
GO

Jesus (Son of God) Can Kiss My Mexican Ass
GO

Sexy Babes Dance Off
GO

I Love Cindy Crawford More and More Everyday
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Place Your Bets!!!
GO

Daisey Lowe is Naked
GO

Jenny is a Leopord
GO

Because a Good Smile Can Do a Lot For You
GO

Vagina Boxing!
GO

Will Ferrell is Going to Play George Bush on Broadway
GO

More Jon LaJoie
GO

If Paris Hilton Has Only Fucked Two People, I Have a Fully Functioning Penis
GO

The Best Movies You Didn’t See in 2008
GO

Half Women, Half Donkey
GO

The 9 Hottest Italian Women
GO

Greased Up Girl Do a Slip and Slide
GO

Some Emo Girls Kissing and Shit
GO

Some Naked Chicks Being Naked
GO

Check Out this Hot Playboy Chick in a Whole New Language
GO

There Names are the Parker Sisters and They Get Naked Together
GO

Some Hot Drunken Sluts in Some Hot Drunken Pics
GO

Some Denise Milani Big Tits in a Blue Bikini Video
GO

10 greatest naked fight scenes ever made
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Old Lady Showing Off Some TIt
GO

Some Fake Lip Party….
GO

BONUS – People Always Bug Me for the Gallery of the Header Pics I Post…I Decided to Do Just That For You…I wonder if Diddy Hand Selected Her to Promote Ciroc Himself…That Motherfucker is Always on the Cutting Edge of Marketing…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

07

Jan

Reese Witherspoon’s Mom Ass Fighting The Fat of the Day

Reese Witherspoon is constantly out fighting her her obvious fate as a fat Southern mom and grandma, by the looks of these pictures of her working out, her ass is winning. Kinda like her vagina won in the fight to lock Ryan Phillippe down by getting pregnant during a drunken hook up while on the Cruel Intentions set, but they aren’t together now, and either is her new boyfriend and his one true love Heath Ledger, so I guess things that aren’t meant to be just find a way to not be, and soon she’ll be trading in these workout pants in for a pair of elastic band jeans from the plus sized store but not to work out in, just to walk around in, because that’s what happens when they don’t make clothes in your size. Just ask my wife..

Posted in:Mom Ass|Reese Witherspoon|Spandex|Workout

2009

07

Jan

Amy Winehouse in a Couple More Topless Pics that Hit a Couple Days Ago of the Day

With a history of serious drug use, a bloated unmaintained body and sloppy deflated malnourished tits, I really wonder what Amy Winehouse’s pussy looks like. You know, how does she maintain her pubic hair. Is it like each individual pubic hair is a building of it’s own, creating what seems like an active cosmopolitan area….the bald patches that look like pussy Leukemia are the park, the rashes are the highways and the various smells, insects and things that live within, the people in the everyday hustle and bustle of downtown life, like a microcosm of a third world country, or is it a perfect little pussy, perfectly taken care of, unlike the rest of her. Maybe she’s artistic and shaves shapes in her bush, maybe her labia is battered and flaking from various ill advised injection sites, I just don’t know and probably will never know the components that make up her lady parts and that is one of my life’s great tragedies….

Sure you’ve seen these pictures, but there really such thing as too much Amy Winehouse nudity…..I don’t think so…in fact…I know there isn’t.

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Bikini|Topless

2009

07

Jan

Jessica Alba’s Mom is Easy of the Day

I don’t really know if Alba’s mom is a slut, but I can assume she is, I mean she did breed Alba and by lookin like this, she can’t have much self esteem and definitely takes all she can get and now that she’s menopausal it means no condoms, I mean provided you can live with yourself after mounting this. Sure, it’s the womb that made the girl you are convinced you are married to, you know the one you photoshopped into pictures of yourself in some elaborate fantasy that has gone too far, it’s one of those get as close as you can get to your dreams situations, but by lookin’ at this, even the biggest Alba fan on his horniest virgin day would have to really focus to finish off the job…even if boxy, overweight, elderly bitches without their lady hormones is their thing. Either way, I think Menopause is the least of Alba’s mom’s concerns, I mean look at her, she’s a fucking monster and a probable glimpse into Alba’s future, and really every woman’s future…it’s some circle of life shit. Get ready for it.

BONUS – Here’s Alba’s Mom Slutting Out in a See Through Shirt…I Guess She’s Taken on the Roll (with extra butter and gravy) of Caring for Her Useless Spoiled Daughter’s Baby….All While Trying to Seduce Us….Slut….

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Mom|Slut