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Ozempic Katy Perry Finds the Only Audience Who Likes Her of the Day
Ozempic Katy Perry Finds the Only Audience Who Likes Her of the Day
Rita Ora in a Bikini of the Day
Rita Ora in a Bikini of the Day
Jenna Ortega’s Ceiling Eyes Beetlejuice Promo Erotica of the Day
Jenna Ortega’s Ceiling Eyes Beetlejuice Promo Erotica of the Day
Dua Lipa in a Bikini with Balloons of the Day
Dua Lipa in a Bikini with Balloons of the Day
Julianne Hough is a Mormon Gone Wild in a Tight Dress of the Day
Julianne Hough is a Mormon Gone Wild in a Tight Dress of the Day

2008

23

Jul

President Bush Blames the US Economy on Being Drunk of the Day

11 Comments »

I think your Commander in Cheif is pretty hysterical. Sure, I wouldn’t want him running my country, let alone my household, but dude definitely would be good to hire to MC a wedding, or a High School Graduation.

Now I don’t know shit about American politics, I don’t know shit about the American economy, other than that gas prices are high, the dollar is low, people are going bankrupt, losing their houses and forced to third world living conditions with starvation and no healthcare.

So as you all get no love from your government, as some of you suffer and lose your jobs and rack up more debt, and as the rest of the world laughs and stays as far away from the USA as they can, your President is throwing press conferences that he asks people to turn their cameras off mid-speech so that he can explain the real reason why the market’s gone to shit and it goes like this “Wall Street is Drunk, What We See Now is a Hangover”.

So your President blamed the economy of being drunk, that’s why it’s not performing, kinda like the time I raped a girl and pleaded not-guilty because the booze made me do it, only my drunk excuse was a little more realistic, since Wall Street can’t drink and I still got booked.

Maybe Wall Street was drunk but that sounds more like the explanation of the country as a whole when they voted for Bush as President and maybe the Wall Street issue is just caused by the fact that your country is a trillion dollars in debt because of the war for oil masked as a war on terrorism.

But like I said, I know nothing about politics, but thought it was funny to see your President make such a stupid fucking statement. I guess dude’s trying to tap into his dreams of being a stand-up comedian or some shit, but should probably wait until he is replaced by Obama before touring the comedy clubs. Maybe he should just consider dealing with issues in a straight up way to try to redeem himself for all the damage he’s done so that he doesn’t go to hell, instead of feeding more meaningless bullshit excuses by saying things that don’t make any sense and just confuse everyone listening, in hopes of shutting them up.

I guess I shouldn’t really care, and should just go back to staring at my testicles in the mirror as I like to do.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

23

Jul

Anna Kournikova in Some Bikini Photoshoot Outtakes of the Day

19 Comments »

Anna Kournikova put professional tennis on the map for me, because before her, I didn’t think girls played sports. Sure there was figure skating, synchronized swimming, dancing and doing the laundry, but nothing I wanted anything to do with. I mean I had accidentally seen lesbian Martina Navratilova playing once before Anna hit the scene, but she wasn’t really a good selling point for the highly sexual nature of the sport and just made me believe I was watching some kind of gender war where a man in a skirt dominated the court sent the girl on the other side of the net back to her husband to make babies because there was no place for her in sports. That was more of a fight for a cause and not as much of the erotic experience of seeing a tight bodied Russian girl whimper her way out of communism with her solid swing, panty ass flashing and grunts that were reminiscent of a girl losing her anal virginity.

Here she is, still going strong, still tight bodied, in a bikini for a magazine photoshoot.

Speaking of girls in sports – here’s the WNBA Fight everyone’s been talking about – not that girls in the WNBA are actually girls, but it’s still worth a watch.

Posted in:Anna Kournikova|Bikini|Outtakes

2008

23

Jul

Sophie Monk is Hot in a Bikini of the Day

9 Comments »

I know that you’re an easy sell when it comes to girls, because you’ve reached that point of desperation. Like the dude I saw hitting on this tight bodied 18 year old the other night. Dude had money, he was probably married and he walked up to her to tell her that she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Being drunk, I decided to intervene and show this dude up, so I step in and tell him that he just did a good job, but we all know that he’s so tired of his wife that a plate of raw meet before he BBQ’s for his wife of 20 years and 3 kids turns him on at this point. That strategy worked against me, because the girl said I was disgusting and went to the bar with him, so I guess I was the real loser in the situation.

Speaking of losers, Sophie Monk must really feel like one. She fell for Good Charlotte twin because I can only assume he was huge in her home country of Australia, she dated him until they became engaged, because I guess she thought he was sincere since she was the first hot pussy he ever landed and all the other good lookin’ dudes out there were just out for her pussy cuz she’s hot. Then dude gets cocky and turns on her by fucking Paris Hilton, what must be a huge blow to the “other” girl in the situation’s ego. Sure Paris is spoiled and a master manipulator who knows how to get what she wants and he was just overwhelmed that girls wanted his fat ass and had a false sense of how desirable he was and felt the need to capitalize on all opportunities that present themselves. His behavior left him covered in herpes and unable to explain the “rash” to Monk, getting busted and dumped and forced to go back to the trash Hilton that he is probably going to be stuck to for life, because of their STD bond that other girls won’t want any of and that he can’t deny cuz shit’s all over the fucking media.

The good news is that through all this, Sophie Monk has still managed to stay hot and here she is in a bikini.

Posted in:Bikini|Sophie Monk|Tits

2008

23

Jul

Kourtney Kardashian Has an Upskirt Moment of the Day

9 Comments »

The Kardashian family remind me of some kind of circus performers, maybe it’s the fact that one of the sisters is a monster, one sister has a 300 pound ass and the youngest sister looks like some kind of rat-face and you’re always amazed when you see them all get ot of their SUV because you can’t figure out how the rugged vehicle supported all that weight kinda like your amazement when a bunch of clowns in a VW Bug….or maybe it’s because their careers are kinda ridiculous, their make-up and clothes are kinda obnoxious, their cries for attention are annoying and the cheap laughs they bring to some simple minded idiots that make them a novelty act you’d see at some perverted Jewish kid’s bar mitvah.

The truth is that I always hated clowns, they make me uncomfortable, they cheapen entertainment and they make me think of pedophiles and sex offenders, but I think it’s got more to do with my racism and hate for dumb bitches.

Either way, here’s Kourtney Kardashian showing off her panties, taking second place to her more successful sister who she rides to the top. If she really wants to fit in with her older sister and take her lead, she best be pullin’ those off and shoving some black hip hop dick in her, but I’m not too eager to see that and will leave you with this instead.

Posted in:Kourtney Kardashian|Upskirt

2008

23

Jul

Ana Obregon Bikini Pictures of the Day

7 Comments »

Here’s the pictures I know you’ve all been waiting for of Ana Obregon in a bikini, because you are her biggest fan and can’t get enough of her 56 year old Spanish Ass and ever since that one appearance she made on Who’s the Boss in the 80s, you’ve been ready. She’s been in tabloids for fucking David Beckham, which is only surprising to me because I thought he was into cock, and she only looks like she may have a cock since she’s in a bikini and dudes don’t really wear bikinis as often as you’d like.

I was sitting getting on my stoop the other day and I saw 2 sets of hot mother daughter combos, I am talking mothers and daughters shopping together, and both look like something you’d get down with fucking. One was a set of Russian immigrants and the other was an anorexic, fake blonde, plastic surgery ravaged Jewish woman with her two daughters she was trying to train into following her slut lead by telling them their pants weren’t tight enough. The closest I’ve ever had to a mother daughter threesome is the time my wife sucked me off as I sniffed my stepdaughter’s panties discreetly. It counts to me.

Here’s Ana Obregon.

Posted in:Ana Obregon|Bikini

2008

23

Jul

Take a Minute to Enjoy Some Cake Farting of the Day

10 Comments »

Some fetishes are weird, some are scary, some make me uncomfortable. This one just makes me laugh. It’s called cake farting and it’s brought to you by the weirdos who brought us pudding fart, and shit is pretty self-explanatory. Girls stick their asses in cakes and fart the shit up before the dude licks the goodness off their stinky asses. It’s one of those things that you wonder where it was first conceived. Like how did dude approach his girlfriend for the first time with this shit one night after fantasizing about it since he was a kid and used to get boners at desert time. You know his chick asks him what his number one fantasy is, expecting him to say anal, or handcuffs or a threesome and instead he decides to drop the bomb because it’s eating him up inside. I wonder how many girls ran away from his request before one actually bit and agreed to this, and that whole build up to this preview video makes the whole thing even more awkward than this video alone.

I guess it could be just a product of the internet and all it’s weirdness where everything’s already been done, people are desensitized and can’t get hard to porn anymore and none of that really matters because knowing people jerk off to this is real fucking comedy to me.

Visit The Site, Watch the Video, Because I am Not About to Post this Weirdness
GO

Posted in:Cakefarts|Fetish

2008

23

Jul

Lindsay Lohan’s Lesbian Pants of the Day

5 Comments »

The nice thing about this Lohan lesbianism is that she’s brought a new face to the movement. Sure I always knew that hot chicks liked to get down with other girls, but the media and all the lesbian clubs I try to sneak in by pretending I am a woman on hormone therapy always throws these dyke images in my head. I figure it’s the lesbian way to keep dudes as far away from them as possible, since they hate penis, and figure if they put shaved head, fat chicks in wifebeaters and overalls with a pair of construction boots and flannel shirt tied around their waists on a motorcycle, we’ll be turned off and they are fucking right.

With people like Lohan and her amazing tits adding much needed new imagery to a tired sexuality choice of ugly girls who can’t get cock and the only hope for happiness is with other ugly chicks guys don’t want so that they aren’t lonely, lesbianism and lesbian clubs may take a whole new turn. I predict lots of copycat lesbians hit, kinda like how cociane got big with young hot girls cuz celebs were doing it, only with more pussy licking.

All that hard lesbian work the hard lesbian motorbikers have been doing is going down their lesbian toilet where their tampons should be going, only the testosterone shots took that shit away from them too.

Posted in:Lesbian Pants|Lindsay Lohan

2008

23

Jul

Jennifer Hudson’s Got Some Big Fuckin’ Tits for Regis of the Day

5 Comments »

Now I am not the kind of guy who gives a girl love just because she has big tits, because it usually means she has a big ass to match and I just don’t have a need for big tits in my life. They are fun to play with, but sometimes offend me with the size and angle the nipples aim, like unlike other dudes, I prefer tits on girls small to medium. I feel like a total virgin writing about the kind of tits I want but that I’m not getting, but I had to post this video because as Hudson brings her fatty tits onto the set of Regis and Kelly, Regis say “Oh My God” as he stares at whatever the fuck’s going on in this hefty bitch’s tent of a dress. It’s just nice to see him struggle with not lookin’ at what’s going on in front of him and I guess guys just never get over insane cleavage, no matter how old we get. So enjoy you fucking pervert.

Posted in:Jennifer Hudson|Tits

2008

23

Jul

Marla Maples Does Yoga on the Beach of the Day

6 Comments »

I got up early today and went for a small walk to get coffee. I ended up running into all the local vagrants and homeless and mentally deranged people who populate my neighborhood and who I’ve seen almost daily for the last 10 years.

I never get up this early and didn’t realize these people started out their day of loitering this early. There was the weird dude who talks to himself, listens to a walkman and is on methodone treatment at the pharmacy, there’s this tall dude who doesn’t shower and smells like shit who drinks decaf coffee all fuckin’ day at Subway, there’s some dude with a cowboy hat who is always drunk and aggressive and every time I see him he’s missing a new tooth. There’s the crazy cat lady who has a different purple jogging suit everyday, I’m talking about the kind of jogging suit 4 year olds wore in the 80s and crazy un-brushed hair who walks her 8 cats, all on leashes, there’s some really skinny guy with one leg longer than the other who smokes cigarette butts he finds on the street and then there’s homeless man dance who spent too many years doing acid and is totally OCD but seems like a genius.

As I was judging them, thinking to myself how fucking weird they were, I realized that to the average person, I was probably one of the crazies in the neighborhood they see on the daily for the last 10 years too. It was some kind of revelation where I finally grasped that to the normal people, I am as crazy as the people I laugh about for being crazy and that depressed me, but I figure if you can’t beat them and if their judgment is already passed on me, I might as well milk it and that means that now I can walk out in my underwear, shit myself and drool and fondle my penis every time I see a cute girl, because I carry the crazy card, despite the fact that I don’t want to be one of the local fixtures, I should make the best of it.

I guess maybe it’s time for Marla Maples to come to terms with her fat too. She needs to realize that she’s old and has no business being on the beach at all unless it’s at an all inclusive resort in Cuba with all the other 40 year old mothers. There’s really no place for her trying to do the splits and act sexy because despite my being willin’ to fuck her, since I’m a pervert and she isn’t fat, I still don’t want to watch her bending about like some kind of nimble 20 year old. I find it embarrassing….

Posted in:Marla Maples|Yoga

2008

23

Jul

Gabrielle Reece Rock’s a Bikini Top and Show’s Some Tit’s of the Day

8 Comments »

So I just happened to come across this comment on a previous post by some loser named Doug. This is what Doug wrote:

When you say “Traci Bingham and her Melon’s of the Day� what you are really saying is “Traci Bingham and her Melon is of the Day�
Go back to grade school you moron.

Doug. No, I’m not trying to say that her melon is of the day, but I am trying to be like hip hop and create my own kind of speaking that kids everywhere will rip off. I have no problem reinventing the language and making it work for me one post at a time. I don’t really have the patience to care about proper and constrictive and boring use of the english language, they shit is for the suburban people who do what they are told and don’t know how to live unless it’s in a guideline rulebook.

The fact that you would spell check posts on my site, let alone any fucking site leads me to believe that you just can’t let loose and appreciate the big picture, who really cares if I slip up on a you’re and your, their and there, melon’s or melons, you should learn how to read past typos and get the overall concept behind the post instead of going to the trouble to email me or comment about me, calling me a moron about the shit like you’re my fucking English teacher who I tried to poison in High School for pulling the same stunt. I am not educated, I am an immigrant, I have lived on the street, but throwing in an apostrophe wasn’t really representative of that, because even an uneducated person knows the fuckin’ difference, and it’s really got nothing to do with being a moron and more to do with not editing posts no one reads, except for maybe the occasional hater like you.

Either way, it doesn’t really matter, I just get annoyed when people bother me with instructions and point out typos, not because it makes me feel inadequate, but it reminds me that this site reaches the people I don’t really want it to.

Here are some pictures of Gabrielle Reece showing off her Beach Volleyball tits like shit was the early 90s. I never liked her, I always thought she looked too much like a dude and have had some weird nightmares of her and Brooke Shield’s slapping dicks, but dick or not, she does have tits in a bikini top and is staying true to her hangin’ on the beach past with her big wave surfing husband, legendary Laird Hamilton, and I guess I gotta stay true to my shit and post it.

Posted in:Bikini|Gabrielle Reece|Tits|TitsGabrielle Reece|Top