I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

17

Jun

Karina Smirnoff Gets Upset When Talking About Maria(o) Lopez Cheating on Her of the Day

I don’t know what’s more embarrassing, admitting you dated Mario Lopez from Saved by the Bell on TV, or crying about the fact that he cheated on you. I guess nothing destroys self esteem like being cheated on by some second rate loser going off fucking chicks behind your back, not because you are inadequate, even though it feels that way, but because dude’s just trying to hold onto this fame thing as hard and as long as he can and will sleep with anyone who offers because he knows he’s a fuckin’ has-been loser with little time left of convincing Hooters girls that he’ll show you what he used to do to Zach from Saved by the Bell, because a time will come when the generation of Hooters girls will have no idea what the fuck Saved by the Bell is and bedding 23 year olds will be a thing of the past. Those fans are hitting 30 now, soon they’ll be 40 and the only thing fun about fucking a 40 year old is menopause.

Posted in:Karina Smirnoff|Uncategorized

2008

17

Jun

Kate Hudson is Banging Armstrong not Strong Testicles of the Day

Comments Off on Kate Hudson is Banging Armstrong not Strong Testicles of the Day

So it turns out that Kate Hudson is borderline lesbian because she dates dudes with half the testicles other men have and if that isn’t one step closer to eating pussy I don’t know what is.

I kinda always had a feeling she was into rubbing cunts back when I realized she had no tits, and all the girls I know with no tits like fucking chicks. Also, her baby daddy had long hair and fat man tits and fat dudes look alot more like fat chicks than they look like real men, so I can only assume she spent countless nights licking his asshole pretending it was the asshole of Roseanne.

Either way, I hate how celebrities try to avoid admitting they date each other, it’s like we really give a fuck who Lance Armstrong is laying it into. We barely even care about watching him win bike races because the only thing gayer than racing bikes are the shorts the men put on to ride their racing bikes after shaving their legs. It’s the whole foundation of my “Gayer Than Bicycle Shorts” expression and these 2 assholes are not important enough to be avoiding any questions, or giving well-thought out answers to questions, except maybe when people ask about how Kate Hudson lead Owen Wilson to suicide when he realized what she looked like naked.

Either way, here’s the clip of Kate Hudson avoiding the question about Lance Armstrong last week:

Live Strong.

Posted in:Kate Hudson|Lance Armstrong

2008

17

Jun

Video that Sucks of the Day

This video sucks because it isn’t funny. It is supposed to be a parody on some Japanese commercial that I haven’t seen and that I don’t care to see because I don’t live in Japan and don’t need to buy Japanese products making their commercials pretty much obsolete to me, no matter how funny they are.

This video also sucks because the company who produced it claims to be “Comedy that is Funny”. I like think we are smart enough to come to our own conclusions as to what is funny and what isn’t funny and just because you say you are funny, doesn’t mean you are funny. Like that ugly chick who I had beef with last weekend who thought she was hot. It’s one of those you can’t full me motherfucker, situations.

This video sucks because the joke is putting a wig in a bikini bottom and that is some frat boy “Oh my god she has huge bush, look at her try to get rid of her hug bush with the chainsaw and other household appliances cuz her bush is so fucking big”, shit and I don’t appreciate it.

The only think that doesn’t suck about this commercial parody from the people that put funny back into comedy is that there’s a bitch in a bikini and usually that’s good enough for me.

Posted in:Video that Sucks

2008

17

Jun

Katy Perry Performing on Carson Daly of the Day(ly)

Sure she sucks at singing and the highlight of her career is that everyone wants to fuck her, and the highlight of her career up until now has been the fact that she convinced some pervert executive to sign her and give her a chance to live her dream because she gives great head, but that is nothing compared to this glorious moment of performing live on the Carson Daly show, I hear it is the most coveted slot to be on in TV. Sure it doesn’t have an audience or a good time slot like those other late night shows, and sure the host is a fucking loser and not a comedian, but it is the closest thing to the time you played make belief “TV Reporter” with your cousin as kids in front of an audience of stuffed animals, only this doesn’t end in sex offending, it just ends in tarnished careers, but when you don’t deserve a career to being with – it’s all good.

Posted in:Katy Perry|Performs

2008

16

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

Today is a struggle, I am hungover and adjusting to being somewhere that isn’t my shitty couch in my shitty apartment and by adjusting I mean trying to bang as many bitches as possible because I left my disgusting wife at home. One of the bitches I am not going to be getting with is this one who just emailed me:

u are so hot but im only 12

I had nothing to respond so instead here are my links:

Britney’s Favorite Porno
GO

Bikini Super Market
GO

More Gameshow Fun from the Far East
GO

Nikki Sanderson Looks Oh So Good
GO

Adriana Lima is Engaged and It’s Only a Matter of Time Before She Ruins Her Vagina With a Baby
GO

Kim Kardashian Panty Upskirt
GO

Hayden Like an Old Truck or Fridge – Keeps Getting Older and Less Significant
GO

Find Out a Girls Name After You Slept With Her, In Case You’re a Drunk Like Me And Forget Shit Like That
GO

Tali Jatali Has a Horrible Accent But Is Fully Hot, So It’s Forgiveable
GO

Roselyn Sanchez Gallery
GO

Amazing Compilation of Some Crazy Basketball Shots
GO

The Top 10 Hottest Videos of Chicks Using Guns
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Jordan’s Sister Sophie Price’s First Strip of the Day
GO

Some Tila Tequila Shoot for King Magazine that You’ll Want to Fuck
GO

Darth Thriller Video
GO

Wet T-Shirt Goodness
GO

Car-Ma-Sutra : The Top 10 Sexual Positions in your Car
GO

Two Fat Guys Fight in Tight Pants Video
GO

8 Popular Sex Toys for Men
GO

Some Dude on Drugs Rock’s Out Proper
GO

Some Wrestling Diva Milf Flashing Her Ass and Showing Off her Big Fake Gross Tits
GO

Jamie Bradford is Cute in Plaid, and By Cute I Mean Fuckable
GO

More Mischa Barton Mushy Thighs
GO

Hot Underwear Ad You’ve Probably Already Seen….
GO

Kanye West Manages to Piss Off an Entire Festival’s Worth of People,
GO

American Apparel Ad With Tits
GO

American Apparel is Selling Sex Toys Now….
GO

Watch GIrls in your Neighborhood Get on Cam So You Can Get Off or Take them On a Date
GO

Samantha Fox Rocking The Cameltoe
GO

Top 7 Ass Getting Hollywood Assholes
GO

The Top 50 Most Lovely Cheerleading Squads
GO

Denise Richards Bikini Throwback
GO

Wet T-Shirt Contest Backstage
GO

I Usually Enjoy Watching Skaters Fall, But This is Pretty Awesome
GO

The Mid-Life Crisis Tour 2008
GO

Lesbian Butthole Lovers
GO

Rhianna Looks Hot at the Music Music Video Awards
GO

Ron Jeremy Never Ceases to Amaze Me
GO

A Collection of Nude Beach Shots
GO

Winehouse is Steadily on the Road to Recovery; Shows Up Only 2 Hours Late for Show
GO

Katherine is Sexy in a Fishnet
GO

Hyacinth’s Photoshoot Video
GO

The Ass Polka
GO

The Best Porn On The Net According To A Fat Guy (Me)
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Girlie Caught Masturbating
GO

Creepy Dutch Dude Gets Close to the Childrens
GO

Some Car Crash From the Inside Video
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Harvey Price Has a Message For Us
GO

Kate Beckinsale Hates Her, Which is Odd Because I Think It Is Glorious
GO

Tila Tequila Needs to Have Her Fucking Head Examined
GO

Uhhhh…Rock On…I Think?
GO

Who knew polka could be this fun!
GO

Living Lohan Episode 4
GO

Lori Loughlin is Back and More Bangable Then Ever
GO

The Oldest Lesbians in the History of Lesbians
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Miranda Kerr in a Victoria’s Secret Commercial
GO

Chaka Khan Dressed Like a Tire
GO

Prank Goes Gay
GO

Remember When Britney Spears Was Fuckable?
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Bierstick is Possibly the Greatest Invention Ever
GO

Spy Cam Catches Strippers Getting It On
GO

Keanu Reeves’ Chink in a Bikini
GO

Some Freaks Doing Weird Things to Themselves….
GO

Rogue Collector’s Photobucket Finds of the Day –

A Picture of Some Naked Chick and a Little Dick Suckin’
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Some Chubby Chick Gets Down To Her Naked Self in These Pictures
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BONUS –

Club Sluts From Montreal Sluts That Are a Hell of a Lot Better in Picture than in Person Because You Can’t Hear Their Annoying Voices…..
GO

PORN REVIEWS –

18 Eighteen is the Closest You Come to Doing Underage Girls Without Getting Arrested
GO

In Hornor of R.Kelly – Get into Sneaky Pee
GO

Her First Pregnancy
GO

Watch Squirting Carly Do What She Does…
GO

SUPPORT THE SITE BY CLICKING ON OUR SPONSORS WHO HAVE ALL THREATENED TO CANCEL THIS MONTH BECAUSE NO ONE IS CLICKING….WHICH MEANS THE END OF THIS BULLSHIT….

Use This to Get Sex, Because We All Need a Little Help Sometimes
And By We I Mean Losers Like You
GO

Relationships Made Easy
GO

Sluts You Know You Can Count On…..
GO

Start The Week Off Right. Get Laid
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

16

Jun

Katherine Heigl is a Pig in Her Bikini of the Day

I don’t know what the deal with Katherine Heigl is, she is a cunt and she’s not even attractive enough to justify being a cunt. She is however attractive enough to sell me hardware supplies because she’s built like she can carry fuckin’ lumber, but unfortunately she’s too much of a cunt to follow her destiny at the hardware store and managed to work her way into lives of people everywhere through our TVs because TVs are like our family members who don’t get drunk and naked at parties like our other family memebers. Either way, last week this Heigl bitch turned down applying to be nominated for an Emmy, because she knew she wouldn’t get nominated and didn’t want that stain on her career.

It’s a lot like these whores a dude I know tried to hire the other night. He was determined to get a lesbian show and had no interest on fucking the girls or letting the girls fuck him because he just wanted to show his friends a good time. He has a lot more money than any of my other friends, so he calls up these whores from some agency and they come over. When they walk in the door, they see a group of perverts standing around and get fuckin’ stage fright or someshit. They ask the dude paying what he wants them to do, and he tells them he wants a lesbian show. One of them panics and asks if anyone in the room wants full service when they are done the lesbian show and dude says that he just wants the lesbian show. The other one freaks out saying she doesn’t do lesbian shows and my friend asks what the difference between fucking multiple strangers all night and licking your friend’s pussy is and she just said she was on the rag and ran out of the apartment. You know every

Posted in:Bikini|Katherine Heigl|Pig

2008

16

Jun

Fergie Takes a Jog of the Day

Fergie is known for being fit and having a tight body, a body so ripped it looks like it may have a pair of little steroid testicles tucked between her legs. I was actually convinced I met Fergie last night at a bar until I realized that I was actually talking to some dude who happened to be a mixed martial arts fighter and went on about how badly he likes breaking bones, while wearing some kind of faggy cut off shirt showing off her “pythons”.

* Access to material has been disabled in compliance with DMCA *

Posted in:Fergie|Jog

2008

16

Jun

Alex Curran is Rockin’ a Bikini Again of the Day

I don’t know who this clubslut who landed a soccer player is, but I have posted on her and her sloppy body in the past and I figure I should do it again, because she is still in her bikini, which isn’t a huge surprise considering all these soccer wives are always in their fucking bikinis as they spend their husbands money and drink their champagne and pump out babies because it makes for a better life than my life which isn’t saying much considering the dude with one-eye who works at my gas station where I buy chocolate milk has a better life than me.

I had a little altercation with a clubslut the other night. I was running my mouth off, teasing her about being Jewish and said that she gave me a blowjob in summer camp because I could tell she was a slut and would have to dig back into her archives of dicks she’s sucked. She was in her mid-30s and highly affected by the Sex in the City revolution and probably has been suckin dick or well over 20 years. really worked in her favor, except for the whole being alone while all her friends have families of their own and are at home breast feeding while she’s out railing lines off the toilet seat at shitty clubs or outside talking to the likes of me and taking home random man after random man until one of them is lonely enough to stick with her.

Anyway, she took offense to me teasing her for being a slut and asked me if I always rip on hot girls and what the fuck my hatred for hot chicks is all about and that is when I said that her theory would have a lot more bearing if she was actually a hot chick and I saw her little ego crumple before my eyes.

Her initial response was obviously to call me out for being fat and bitter and that she didn’t care about what I had to say because I was fat and I would never have a chance with her and my opinion was void, but the truth is that anyone can tell themselves that they are hot, but it doesn’t mean they are in fact hot and should be happy when someone is nice enough to tell them that they really don’t have it going on. It’s a lot better than the constant lies she falls for from various men who tell her she’s hot to get in her pants but don’t ever call her back once they are out of her pants, because the only thing hot abut her is that she’s drunk, has a vagina and is lookin’ for love.

In a lot of ways, I was just being a nice guy.

Posted in:Alex Curran|Alex Curran Bikini|Bikini

2008

16

Jun

Kim Kardashian’s Fat Ass in a Bikini of the Day

kim kardashian fat ass in a bikini

I feel a lot like Kim Kardashian today. I ate chinese food with a friends at 5 am last night and had fast food in the afternoon, I ate a bag of chips and about 12 beers throughout the day and this has been going on for a few months and I’ve lost buttons off all my pants, people refer to me as big guy more than they ever have, I have scars from where my jogging pant elastic waistband digs into my skin. My T-shirt barely works anymore more and exposes my backside when I sit, because there isn’t enough fabric to go around, and everyone can see my fat ass crack since I don’t wear underwear. It’s got to the point where mothers have come up to me and have asked me to pull up my pants because they find me inappropriate with the kids like I was R. Kelly.

Here is Kim Kardashian and her Junk Food Eating body up in her bikini again all because you like fat chicks.

Posted in:Bikini|Fat Ass|Kim Kardashian

2008

16

Jun

Denise Richards and Her Friends Rock the Stripper Pole of the Day

If you’re wondering why I am not posting – it’s for 2 reasons. The first is that I came to Toronto (a city in Canada) to try to crash the MMVA’s. They are some shitty half rate, Canadian award show that badly copies the VMAs, but I couldn’t get into the event, because they take themselves too seriously and they don’t take me seriously at all. The good news is that I did get drunk. and now I am hungover.

The other reason is that the dude who said I could stay with him, put me into some dusty fucking closet of a room with no windows and I have asthma and can’t breathe when I am in dust, and could have died, but lived and it turns out the internet he promised me sucks bigger dicks than the Perez Hilton party I sneaked into hoping to jump the motherfuckin’ smurf and his pink hair and not in a way he would like to be jumped because based on his look, I can only assume he longs to be touched by another living, breathing human, even if it is in bouts of rage.

Either way, What the fuck is this Denise Richards show Bullshit, I can’t believe that this garbage is on fuckin’ TV. When sluts like Denise Richards make claims that taking time out for herself and her friends to play around with sex toys and stripper poles really got her out of her rut, it makes me wonder where all her time is going since she looks like she’s a self absorbed cunt and considering she hasn’t had work in years, I feel like she has ample time for herself, I mean except of course for her little kids that have been a huge mistake because they aren’t just like dogs who you can put to sleep when you are done with them and you have to take time to make sure they are fed, washed, clothed and on time for ballet classes. Something that takes away from Denise Richards’ me time, which up until the kids was 100 percent of the time and is now about 99 percent of the time, since there are nannies on staff to handle them. Greedy, self righteous bullshit is offensive to me and shouldn’t be on TV.

I guess in all fairness, this whore needs to practice because based on the way she’s putting herself out there to look like a piece of fucking garbage, it’ll be a skill that comes in handy when shaking her old haggard ass on stage.

Here is Denise Richards Talking about her really busy schedule that sounds scripted to shit and the whole stripper pole party stemmed from her not finding the time to wax her fuckin’ bush and her cunt friend stepping in telling her to make time for herself. This show is embarrassing to watch.

Posted in:Denise Richards|Friends|Stripper Pole